A little humor, lots o' fluff, and a nasty surprise. Enjoy!

Chapter 36: Nasty Surprises

Eragon sulked down the stairs of his home, turning his scaled head back towards the bedroom to let out a subtle sigh. He then shook his head and continued down the steps.

"How is she?" Murtagh asked, after stepping inside.

It's a long story. Eragon padded over to his brother and lowered his head. I failed her. I told her I wouldn't let anything happen, and it did.

"It wasn't your fault," Murtagh persisted. "You handled the situation better than I would have. No one is to blame for this except my dragon."

She thinks it's all her fault though, as if she led him on.

"Did she tell you this?"

I can feel it, Eragon muttered. It hurts seeing her like this and it burns even worse knowing that I didn't act sooner.

"Look, Thorn didn't finish."

That is not the point, Eragon growled. The point is that I let her down. We both knew that snake had something up his sleeve, but I let my guard down just like she did. I should have killed him the second he touched her.

"That was to be my job, brother."

No. Eragon shifted his head to motion Murtagh to step outside with him. I will not have you do such thing. He may be a desperate dumbass, but he is your dragon. Even if he screwed up, his mistake should not remain with you for your whole life. Murtagh bobbed his head in confirmation and turned to see Thorn sleeping on the grass beside the pool.

"I wasn't expecting to even find you here."

Did you think that we did, Murtagh? Eragon asked. His brother shrugged and crossed his arms. Saphira and I thought you were both dead. Murtagh then turned to face Thorn and let out a sigh.

"Sometimes I think it was best if we did, Eragon." Eragon flopped onto his paws as he listened. "I still wish I died with the king during that final battle. Betraying you was the hardest thing I've ever done. Before I discovered you were my brother, I found out you were my only friend I really had."

Don't get sappy on me, dude, Eragon replied with a chuckle. It did hurt knowing you left back to the Empire after what Morzan…ahem…our father did to you.

"Well, you know a rider does anything for his dragon."

All to well, Eragon laughed. Murtagh?

"Yes?" Eragon looked up and showed his teeth at his brother. "Uh, I have a feeling this isn't going to be good."

Could you do me a favor?

"It depends on what that favor is?"

Well, I need for you to go somewhere, but you have to do it WITHOUT Thorn.

"Wait," Murtagh muttered. "First off, where am I going? Second, why can't I take him?"

You are going to find something for Saphira. We are the only known dragons so Thorn can't be seen…yet.

"What are you going to have me get?" Eragon nodded his head and stood up to pad into the home. He stopped at the coffee table in the living room and craned his head down to gently bite down on a plastic blue card. He took it back outside and laid it in Murtagh's hand.

Use this.

"What is it?" Eragon showed his teeth and let out a plume of smoke from his nostrils.

They call it 'credit,' he explained. Apparently, you swipe it in some machine to buy things. Murtagh examined the card and looked back over to Eragon.

"Okay, now what am I getting?" Eragon turned to look up at the top floor of his home.

What do you think would cheer her up?

"She's your dragon," Murtagh countered. "How should I know?"

Fine! Eragon proclaimed. Look, just go to and get some flowers or something shinny, then. I don't know what she would think about either of the two, but all women love flowers and all women love things that sparkle. Why should she be any different?

"You are crazy, Eragon," Murtagh muttered. "Well, you are also a dragon, so I guess crazy just defines you, eh?"

Exactly. He nudged Murtagh's chest with his snout. Let's go inside and get you into some more modern clothes first. I'm going to stay here and try to get her to turn around a little bit while you take off. When you get back, we should both explain how exactly this all happened.

"Sounds good." They both stepped inside and Murtagh waited while Eragon silently crept up the steps and into the room where Saphira was inside. He pushed the door open subtly with his snout and was relieved to see her sleeping, curled up in a depressing ball with her head resting on a pillow. He sniffed and quickly padded over to his backpack to pull out a sweatshirt, a pair of jeans, and some socks all with his teeth.

That should do it, he whispered to his self, gently tossing the clothing across his neck to carry it down. Murtagh met him at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well?"

Put this on. Eragon bit down on the clothes and tossed them towards his brother. You seem about my size. He turned away as his brother stripped down to try on the new clothing. The people who took us here said that the grocery store is about a mile or so down the way. Just keep walking till you find something for her and hit me up when you've found it.

"What?"

Contact me, Eragon explained with a sigh. Come on, by mental link.

"Oh, very well." Eragon lifted his forearm up to silence him.

No, he muttered. 'Cool.'

"Not really…?"

It's what you say, Murtagh. And use 'dude' too. Whatever. Just go and contact me when you've found something.

"Then what?"

I might let Thorn go and get you. Let him hunt though. We could use a little time alone.

"I understand…?"

Gotcha, Eragon corrected.

"Formality has disappeared here, hasn't it."
Yeah, but it doesn't take too long to get used to.

"So I see." Eragon pushed Murtagh out towards the door with his muzzle to hurry him after he was dressed.

Take it easy out there, bro, Eragon warned. Just find something you think she'd like and buy the damned thing.

"Alright." Eragon showed his teeth again.

Sounding just a little more American, now, he commented. Good luck. Murtagh shut the door and walked down the pathway while Eragon diverted his attention back to the staircase. He climbed up it smoothly, tucking in his wings to avoid scratching the walls with their tips. He reached the room where Saphira was sleeping and cautiously stepped inside, squeezing his wings tighter against his body as he passed through the semi-narrow doorjam. She shifted in her sleep and unfurled her body to lay flat on the bed.

There's my girl,Eragon whispered, as he stepped closer to the bed. He sighed and shifted into his human form, tossing on a shirt and a pair of boxer shorts that were folded up by the dresser before moving any closer. She grunted and shifted positions to curl up once more, unaware that he was right beside her at her bedside. Please don't kill me for this. He painstakingly climbed onto the bed and reached out to massage Saphira's shoulder. He rubbed her scales in subtle circles, creating soft moans from his mate's throat. He pressed his head against her neck and listened to her while he continued soothing her. Saphira's tail twitched lazily and she began kicking the bed with her hind claws softly as if she were dreaming. Eragon stopped and lay beside her, propping his head up with his arm as he watched her breathe. She fluttered her eyes open and slowly lifted her head up to look at him.

Era…Eragon? She asked groggily. Eragon nodded his head and reached out to scratch below her neck.

"None other," he replied with a chuckle. "How you feeling?" She snorted and smashed her head back down on the pillow below it.

Miserable, she replied. I feel like I've been punished somehow, you know?

"Punished?" She shut her eyes.

Yes. I think it was punishment for not mating with a true dragon like him.

"Listen to yourself, Saphira!" Eragon exclaimed. "You just said I am not a true dragon. A dragon has courage, heart, and loyalty. All Thorn proved was courage to rape you, or try to."

I suppose you are right, she muttered. I still feel as if I could have changed it. She stretched her forearm out to bring it over Eragon, embracing him and pulling him close to her stomach. If you were not there, it could have been worse. She sighed and opened her eyes. Eragon? I have to tell you something.

"Anything."

I can't forgive him. Eragon sighed and lifted her paw off of his body. I know we are from two separate living environments, but what he did was wrong, no matter how you look at it. She slowly sat up and looked down at him. What if he did spill his seed inside me? I don't know yet if yours even have fertilized! I couldn't live on with you as my mate but Thorn as my hatchlings' father. Eragon reached out to nuzzle her snout as she shut her eyes and let out a soothing purr. I know that you know me as a forgiving and patient dragoness, but he took it too far. I…I just can't…can't bring myself to even look at him. She slowly opened her eyes to see Eragon listening intently to her hurt.

"It's okay, baby," Eragon whispered as she growled and leaned into his hand for more comfort. "If you want, I can go out and castrate him for you? Would that make you feel better?"

That isn't even punishment enough for his crime, and you know it. They both snickered and Eragon fell to lie beside her, reaching his hand out to scratch underneath her stomach. How is Murtagh taking it?

"He was actually willing to kill his own dragon over you," Eragon explained. "If you ask me, that is enough to prove his trust."

Where is he? Eragon smiled, but said nothing. Oh no, Eragon. You have to tell me.

"No I don't," he replied slyly.

Are you going to force me to make you, then? He smiled wider.

"Just wait a few hours," Eragon commented with a chuckle. "He should be back by then. Besides, Thorn is sound asleep by the pool and, with both preoccupied, that leaves us alone, doesn't it?" She sighed and laid her head down over his chest.

If Thorn didn't do this to me, I'd be more willing.

"Who said we had to mate?" Eragon asked. "Time alone doesn't always mean sex, Saphira." She growled and slowly shook her head.

Well, if you do want it…?

"No," Eragon cut her off. "Mating is the last thing that both of us should think about right now. You were assaulted, Saphira! I'd figure that your…um…well…you would be rather sore and uncomfortable." She suddenly showed her teeth and lifted her head to lean in towards his ear.

It's not. Eragon playfully pushed her snout away, laughing all the while. What? She asked jokingly. I was just stating facts.

"What would I do without you?" Eragon asked, reaching out to scratch her neck.

You would have a very boring life. She laid her head back on his chest and exhaled, tossing a subtle plume of gray smoke from her nostrils. I love you Eragon.

"I always will love you." He placed his hand on the top of her brow and began gently massaging it. "So, Israel is the name of our first kid, but you said you felt three, right?"

Yes.

"Lets take this time to find two other names," Eragon advised. "Why not?"

But we don't…?

"It's always better to be prepared, right?" She shook her head.

What about Garrow? Saphira asked. It could be a male's name after your Uncle.

"I can't see a fearsome dragon with that name," Eragon chuckled out. "What about Redemption?"

Redemption Shadeslayer, Saphira thought. It seems too long, though. Place that one on a maybe. Suddenly, Saphira shot up and let out a stifled yipe. Something kicked me.

"What?" Eragon asked.

Something just kicked me, Eragon. I felt it. She lay on her side and pointed to her stomach. I swear it, too. Eragon, stricken by both fear and excitement reached his hand out to touch her stomach. Sure enough he felt a soft kick from inside strike against his hand.

"Saphira!" Eragon exclaimed. "It's a child!" He suddenly drew his hand back and looked at her. "I thought you felt three eggs?" Saphira looked down at her own belly and began sniffing at it.

I did, she explained. All three were right side-by-side.

"Only human children kick, but we never made love as humans…did we?"

No, Saphira replied. I still feel it as an egg, but…it is obviously alive.

"What about the other two?"

They are not even moving, Saphira explained. Eragon, this scares me.

"That's it," Eragon muttered. "Tomorrow, we are going to a 'herpetologist.'"

A herpi-what?

"They are people that deal with snakes and reptiles," Eragon explained. "They can help us figure out what happened." He smiled and reached his hand out to pat her belly. "I don't care how they come out, as long as I am a father!"

Oh Eragon, Saphira suddenly cooed, lowering her head back down on the pillow. I can't believe I am going to become a true mother. Eragon reached out and pet her head as she purred loudly. I suppose your seed did find its mark.

"I got great aim, sweetheart," Eragon shot back slyly. She showed her teeth and shut her eyes.

Care for some more target practice? Eragon smiled and began stroking her stomach, just above her vital area.

"Practice always makes perfect." Suddenly, Eragon heard the door to their home open.

"Mom?" It was Jacob. "What is a red dragon doing in the front yard?"

PEACE!