Author's Note: EK 35 was a roller coaster. Huma, become Human, for fuck's sake!
Can Divit
I wake up next to an angel sleeping so peacefully, innocently and trusting of me. My cup runneth over, my heart is brimming with earth-shattering love and immense relief at having her next to me, soon to be forever! Her literal leap of faith gesture to win us back, to mend and bind us together, had stunned me speechless. Truth is, she had me at first gaze, the fact that she was there for me, and knowing that, had quenched all of my anger and ego!
Why did I get so mad at her? All reasons seems to elude me and I'm starting to understand I truly love her, ardently, deeply and irrevocably! Whoever said that you can be only truly be mad at someone you only truly love had it dead right.
But I also know now that Sanem is sometimes afraid of me, of losing me, and I have to reassure her that no matter the problem, I'll calm the fuck down and talk to her! In this moment, I promise to be a better version of myself, with her, for her and for us. Last night we spoke about sweet nothings as she drifted to sleep. I grimace at the topics, earth is flat, eggs and I don't know how time flies when she is with me. It's morning and now we have to go our separate ways and I absolutely hate mornings! Neither of us had a proper dinner and she's certain to wake up terribly hungry and that's my cue to get us some brekkie!
She's mine, she's always been mine, I knew it in my heart of hearts and that's why I could never leave her. I'll be her mallard and her Albatross, someone she can depend on, forever!
.LOVE!
I love her for her brilliant mind, her eccentricities, her diffidence, her insecurities, her softness, her directness, her kind heart, her angry heart, all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly and I now want to own her body, mind, spirit and soul!
...
See Sanem, I am calm, I've pulled over to the curb so we can discuss her coming back to the agency. She thinks I'm jealous of Car-crash-Dude and that's why I'm asking her to come back to the agency. Okay... there's a bit of truth to it but that's not the entirety of it!
I inherently dislike and distrust him, not just because of his attentions to Sanem, but also because I see him as a slick operator with a hidden motive. It's the same gut instinct I had about Fabri and look where it landed us. He pounced during a weak moment for the Aydin sisters and took advantage of their collective talent. Yes I know, Emre and I are fully at fault to let that happen in the first place and I'd definitely like to make amends on the professional front as well.
Look Sanem, Mevkibe-hanim does like him either, she's astute, wise and intuitive and that woman definitely knows her people!
Beyond all that, Sanem is a rare, once in a lifetime talent, and she's part of the reason our agency is a success, and I can't imagine spending a minute away from her, ever!
...
But it's her decision and I'll simply have to respect it. This is tough, but she's doing her best to reassure me every chance she gets! Oh... this is fun, I can't believe I'm this easily placated by her... a well-timed kiss on the lips and she gets her way with me and away she goes!
...
...
...
Upon hearing that Sanem and I have reconciled, Huma actually suggested having dinner with her family and us. I'm dubious at first but that seems like a great idea!
...
I just can't believe what was happening in front of my eyes! We're all on our feet, Huma and Mevkibe-hanim are sparring at each other! Nihat-bey puts his foot down and chides both of them for behaving badly. Fair is fair, but he was unfair to Mevkibe-hanim because he called both her and Huma childish for behaving badly in front of their children.
...
It's a good thing Huma is driving back with Emre and it gives me a chance to collect my thoughts and now unleash my anger on Huma.
I am so embarrassed, humiliated and devastated by Huma's behavior! First, she was elitist boasting about Chef Frederik, who cares not about Huma. Then she ordered seafood that is unfamiliar to them to showboat them.
But what did I expect of her? That she is going to turn around and become Mommy-dearest overnight? I should've known and suspected that Huma would have a nasty trick up her sleeve in inviting the Aydin's. When did I get so naive about Huma?
After that came the icing on the cake, she called Sanem a gold-digger! That, simply, categorically and crystal clearly will not do and I will not accept any disrespect towards Sanem. Sanem is the last person on earth who cares about my wealth and I'm certain that she'd be happy living in a tent with me if that means we're together! Sanem's intellectual capacity and emotional maturity to give unconditional love to those she loves is beyond compare and a billion times more than that of Huma.
Sanem, my girl, my love, my one and only, she's the one with a precious heart of gold, and hers is all mine, now and forever!
...
I've made it very clear to Huma that Sanem and her family are dear and paramount to me! Get it through your thick skull woman, they're more important to me than you'll ever be to me! The woman wouldn't even acknowledge that she behaved badly and pretended she was the one victimized. I ripped her a new one about her behavior at the restaurant and told her our non-existent relationship is at an impasse!
...
As I wait for Sanem by the rocks at the bay, I'm retrospective about what happened and contemplating her reactions.
What family do I have to bring to this relationship? Yes, I have Emre, but Huma has caused such malaise, disrespect and potentially irreparable damage to our relationship, that any forgiveness I can ask of them may be pointless. I'm the tainted fruit, the apple that hasn't fallen far from the tree would be the perception, and I have to do everything in my power to correct it! All I have is me, and it'll be the best version of me, to offer her, and then I roll a dice on the future!
What's wrong with Huma? Mevkibe-hanim has known me for a mere months, but actually that's more than Huma has known me, so that's that! But, she's been able to understand me, talk to me and gets me so easily. She's been able to reach that silent and yearning part of my heart with a choice few words... and some delicious Dolma! And she called me her son, that was sweet and special!
But why can't Huma? This is a woman with two failed marriages and she thinks she's the arbiter of my happiness? Does she really think she knows what's best for me? Isn't it all just a game of zip code, bank balance and designer clothing for her? Would she object if Sanem and Polen were friends?
What if Sanem's parents disapprove of me? Oh well, that is a possibility and I can't blame them if it happens. For who would want to associate with such a family? First mom abandons me and then dad follows suit. Mom comes back with a story on why she abandoned me in the first place and expected sympathy for her actions. I did, and she's repaid me thusly!
What if Sanem breaks-up with me? Family is paramount to my girl and the fact that her family was debased by Huma could play a role in her decision whether or not she becomes mine! And here I thought Fabri & Yigit were the worst of my problems. No, it's the one I have at the house, the one that never was, but is back, and trying to ruin me now!
What can I do ? Is our love strong to endure this episode? Can she accept me for everything that I am and make that leap of faith? I'm literally going to lay the world at her feet and expect her to embrace me, the good, the bad and the ugly!
...
Sanem Soysal-Aydin
Can's asked me to meet me at the rocks by the bay and I know that poor Can, my Caan, he's going to be so upset and so unsure! I hope he's not mad at mom for starting the fight and I'd have to apologize for her behavior!
All I want to do is hold him, hug him, kiss him and make him feel better! Oh wow... and it looks like that's all he wants to do as well! He's so miserable and upset at his mom and I want to reassure him that we'll be alright as long as we are together!
Can Divit
She holds me in a tight embrace, curls into me and kisses me and I kiss her to reciprocate her loving gesture to feel close to me. All of the self-doubt that I had about her and her commitment to us vanishes in an instant! My world stops and spins on a new axis... and I'm relieved that she's still with me, for me and I'm so sure that we can face any and all hurdles and succeed together!
.GOD!
Did she just say "Let's get married"?
.LOVE!
I am incandescently happy, I asked and she said "YES". I may have continued to ask her until she agreed... but I'm glad that third time was the charm!
From where we began to where we are now, it's an honest journey of understanding each other, growing together, learning to trust each other and simply being there for each other. And now I get to call her mom Anne-Hanim and dad Baba-bey... I truly am lucky, blessed and cherished to have it all!
Sanem, is now and forever the center of my universe, my one and only, my better half, true love and soulmate!
Author's Note: Can Divit, woot-woot... this episode is one of the reasons I love him so very much! He's mom-hurt, seeking attention, class-blind, down-to-earth, unpretentious and honest-to-goodness, period!
Personal Note: As a teenage-orphan and only child, I had no family to offer my DH, just me, flawed, broken, surviving and carrying the heavy burden of my dear parents' dreams on my shoulders. Some crucial in-laws behaved exactly like Huma towards me. Key difference being they were intellectually arrogant and made sure to tell me I didn't measure up to their educated and refined family culture. 22 years later that is water under the bridge but some relationships will never be, never took off and that's just a pragmatic reality! It is what it is and I think less toxic relationships, the better it is for everyone!
Dear Arkadaş vs Ablas, I hope you liked this part as much as I loved writing it !
Thanks for voting in advance... but I also need to hear from you - feedback is paramount to make me write better, get better and it's encouraging to hear those words!
As always, I'm grateful for the your time and support!
Xoxo, DR ?