Stacie would love to say she didn't care what Aubrey was doing at Coachella – in Indio, in California, most definitely not in England or New York - but that would be a lie.
She didn't know if Aubrey had lied, if Aubrey was in California with someone, if Aubrey had known that the Bellas were also going to be at the music festival. Had Patty and Trina known, and if they did, what role did they play in everything?
Did she miss her? Had Aubrey spent the past week thinking about their fight, replaying it over and over in her head, trying to figure out where everything had gone wrong, wanting to press pause and point at that moment and know – just know – that there had been a specific instance where everything could have been avoided, where things could have been fixed? Had she wondered what she would say when they spoke again? Had she been tempted to call, several times, only to realize she didn't really know what to say, only that she missed her voice and needed to be reassured that despite everything, things would still be alright?
When their eyes had met earlier that morning, had Aubrey wanted to break their impasse as much as she had?
These were the important questions.
Beca was the first one to decide to go and see Aubrey – mainly because Chloe was still soundly asleep – and from what Stacie could tell from behind the safety of the curtain inside the main house, Aubrey had seemed okay, and other than a few glances towards the house, didn't seem too bothered over the Bellas sharing her vacation plans.
Stacie was admittedly a little jealous of the fact that Beca and Aubrey could so easily fall back into genial conversation while she herself didn't even know if she was in a position to even say hello to the girl, a feeling not helped by the tight embrace Chloe received when she finally bounded out to tackle Aubrey into a hug.
Because the way Aubrey clung onto Chloe spoke of everything her body language with Beca did not, and the way Beca reluctantly left them, heading back to the main house while Aubrey and Chloe disappeared into the pool house.
She was totally just heading towards the refrigerator to get something at the same moment Beca got back inside and intercepted her.
"She's on vacation." Beca told her. "She'll be here for the whole week."
Because Stacie had made her swear to take that week-long break after semifinals for a reason, and Stacie was more than a little relieved that Aubrey hadn't opted to invite someone else – especially a certain liaising someone else – to Cabo.
Stacie bit her lip, glancing out to the pool house, and asked Beca, "Should I go over there and talk to her?"
Beca regarded her thoughtfully. "Do you want to go and talk to her?"
Yes. Duh. But also no, because she had no idea what she would say, even what she could say, because Aubrey had asked her to make a decision and she wasn't sure if she'd made it yet.
But Beca was likely to talk to Aubrey again, and if Aubrey asked, she needed Beca to have something to say that wouldn't tip Aubrey over the edge. "I don't know what to say."
"Hi usually works as a start." Beca said dryly.
"It's complicated."
"You don't have to fix everything in one conversation, you know." Beca pointed out.
Stacie did know. But she also knew she couldn't just go up to Aubrey and say "hi" without an answer to the question of what she wanted.
Chloe had no such reservations, climbing onto the queen-sized bed in the pool house and luxuriating in it. "Ohhh my God. I'm gonna start sleeping with you now."
Aubrey, who had been checking her phone for messages, raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Aren't the Bellas here for bonding time?"
"Shhh, sleeping." Chloe shushed, burrowing further into the covers. She paused, and then sat up, frowning. "Since when don't you fix the covers after getting up?"
Aubrey hesitated, because the answer to that was two-fold: one was because she was used to living in hotels and usually left abruptly, leaving the room in a haphazard manner, and the other reason… involved other people.
Chloe sighed, and leaned against the headboard to look at Aubrey. "So what's the deal with you and Stacie?"
Aubrey glanced at her.
"Because you're in the same zip code and you haven't kissed and sloppily made out yet?" Chloe pressed.
"You mean kissed and made up?" Aubrey asked.
"Did I stutter?" Chloe retorted. She shot Aubrey a challenging look. "I know you're fighting, and I'm sure you have your reasons for not being the first one to reach out, but are you really ready not to be Stacie's girlfriend anymore?"
"It's not that simple." Aubrey told her.
"But you don't have to make things harder!" Chloe exclaimed. "Bree, you…" She paused to fix the flow of words that she wanted to say, and took a deep breath. "I don't know the kind of pressure you're under, but we've seen each other through a lot of bad stuff, and you've got to admit, Stacie makes things better for you. You're really gonna give that up because she doesn't know when to shut up?"
Aubrey had to smile at Chloe's choice of words. "I actually like that she doesn't really have a filter."
Chloe shot her an incredulous look. "She turns everything into innuendo."
Aubrey's smile only grew.
Chloe noticed. "Oh my God you're totally smitten, aren't you?"
Aubrey only smiled in response.
"So why the hell aren't you fixing this yet?"
Aubrey's smile faded instantly. "Because I can't."
Chloe scoffed. "You're Aubrey, of course you can. Posens don't quit, remember?"
"I can't fix what needs fixing." Aubrey elaborated. "Stacie thrives on affection and physical intimacy -two things I have to be around to give her. My job demands so much of my time that I try not to make promises I'll know I break, and the nature of the job keeps me from following through on promises I actually make. Things can't continue like they are now."
Chloe stared at her for a long moment, as if waiting for more, before finally asking, "That's it?"
Aubrey frowned.
"Just a few weeks ago you proved everyone wrong by showing that whatever preconceived notions we had of Stacie's absent… well, girlfriend, it turns out; we were wrong. You showed up at Barden, you hung out with her friends, you stuck it out even though we were being weird about it. And now you're just going to give up?"
"It's not that easy, Chloe." Aubrey insisted.
"But it doesn't have to be that hard." Chloe countered. She threw up her hands in frustration. "You deserve to be happy, Bree. And she makes you happy. Why would you let yourself lose that?"
"Because she deserves better!" Aubrey argued. She shook her head. "And whether or not she meant what she said, the fact remains that I'm screwing this up, and—"
"And you'd rather quit while you're ahead?" Chloe cut in sharply.
A tense silence followed Chloe's assertion, revealing the truth of her accusation.
Aubrey sighed, and sat down on the edge of the side of the bed, looking down before turning to look at Chloe. "I can only disappoint her, Chloe: I'm never around, and even when I am I'm on call pretty much at every moment of every day. My plans can change in five minutes because they need me someplace else. I am juggling accounts and clients along with the internal mechanism of the company - and that's not the relationship I want to have with Stacie." She blew out a breath. "I don't enjoy taking calls while I'm with her, or the fact that sometimes it feels like I have to try that much harder just to keep her interested, even though I know she's fine and happy just to have me around, but that's…"
Chloe studied Aubrey as the other girl let her voice trail off, and for a moment she recognized the person the girl who had been her college roommate for four years, the girl who put up a brave front but sometimes was just as lost as the next person. "Bree?"
Aubrey smiled wryly, the bitterness showing in the smile. "It feels like she's settling, and that's not how I want her to feel about our relationship."
"You know it's not always about the grand gestures, right?" Chloe prodded.
"It shouldn't just be about the smallest thing, either." Aubrey objected. She shook her head. "I don't exactly have a lot of options here, Chloe."
"Maybe," Chloe allowed. "But you're going to have to figure out what really matters, because everything you're both feeling now? There aren't a lot of ways it can get better."
"But a lot of ways it can get worse." Aubrey finished the sentiment, and nodded. "I know."
Chloe moved closer to Aubrey, and wrapping her arms around Aubrey's waist, rested her head against Aubrey's shoulder, with Aubrey inclining her own head to press her cheek against the top of Chloe's hair.
After a moment's silence, Chloe spoke again. "What are you even doing in Coachella?"
"I'm meeting a friend."
Chloe lifted her head to look questioningly at Aubrey.
Aubrey shook her head. "Long story."
Aubrey didn't elaborate, and Chloe had a feeling that she didn't really want to know.
Despite their coincidentally matching week-long vacations, Aubrey obviously had her own set of plans, evidenced by the car that came by a little after eleven to pick her up and the fact that along with the wristband that acted as her Coachella festival pass, she wore a lanyard that proudly carried her VIP pass.
Fat Amy glanced over at Stacie after they watched the car rolled out of the driveway, and mused, "Tightpants got cool."
Chloe rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything, long past the point of trying to make the Bellas be more subtle and discreet with their comments regarding their former captain.
Stacie told herself that Aubrey traveled a lot for her job and must have a lot of friends around the country; she didn't care.
Much.
She was a little jealous of the VIP access though.
It's weird, though, knowing she and Aubrey were in the same area and not being together. It didn't help that she had no idea which acts Aubrey was particularly inclined to listen to, or which VIP area her pass gave her access to, but she swears she wasn't looking for the blonde as the Bellas broke off into smaller groups to take advantage of the six performance stages.
Stacie ended up hanging with Beca and Lilly, whose tastes in music she trusted the most, and while she's never heard of the band that was playing when they decided on a spot, she was just grateful it wasn't some band who got a pity invite to the music festival.
The weird thing about hanging out with Beca and Lilly were their tendencies to be so immersed in the music – Beca figuring out the beats per minute and already creating mixes in her head, while Lilly was focused on mimicking parts of the music – that they tended to completely forget they had company. Finding out Jessica and Ashley were waiting to start a set with a band Stacie actually recognized, she said goodbye to Beca and Lilly to go and search for her other friends.
But the stage Ashley and Jessica were waiting at was near one of the VIP tents, and on her way there, she noticed a figure with a head of blond hair she would recognize anywhere.
Aubrey was with a girl with light-brown curly hair, the two of them standing closely together as they spoke, Aubrey's rapt attention to whatever the girl was saying and the other girl's hold on Aubrey's wrist not lost on Stacie.
She knew Aubrey well enough to know she wouldn't be rebounding without a definitive response from Stacie, but it didn't help matters to see her so comfortable with someone else while she and Stacie couldn't seem to figure out how to be in the same zip code; or the fact that the girl – whoever she was – seemed to be completely at ease breaching Aubrey's personal space.
She didn't know what Kathryn looked like, but whoever the other woman was, she had just managed to make her way onto Stacie's hate list.
And then they noticed her.
The girl noticed her first, drawing Aubrey's attention, and then making Aubrey turn to look, the girl saying something to Aubrey, earning for herself a sharp look from the blonde before they both turned in Stacie's direction.
Stacie stood frozen, unsure of what to do next, knowing only she had to acknowledge that they had seen her.
She did not expect Aubrey to take leave from the girl and make her way towards her.
Ha. Take that, unknown girl.
Stacie fidgeted, glancing around her to check her escape route options, wanting to bolt but not really, and smiled awkwardly when Aubrey came closer. "Hey."
Aubrey smiled back, just as awkward. "Hey."
Hey. Like a hopeless idiot.
Aubrey gazed at Stacie, taking in the reality of Stacie being in front of her as well as the visual of Stacie Conrad in a short sundress that only served to remind Aubrey how much she had missed her. But they were at an impasse for a reason, and she shook her head as she dealt with that reality. "Um," she cleared her throat, and motioned over her shoulder. "Jill's group is having a party at the house they're renting later, I was wondering if you'd like to go."
Stacie frowned, unsure.
"Chloe's coming." Aubrey said quickly, because she wasn't sure where she and Stacie were in their relationship at the moment, making her unwilling to overstep, but completely missing the way Stacie's expression slightly shadowed. "I'm inviting Chloe and the other Bellas too, I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay with it."
Stacie forced a smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Aubrey had no idea what to say to that, so she soldiered on. "Good. Great! Great." She mirrored Stacie's smile. "I'll probably have to invite Trina and the other girls too, but it's like a dinner party thing, so you can come right back here to catch the big acts."
"Great." Stacie answered by rote, uncertain as to how to carry on the stilted conversation.
"Yeah." Aubrey nodded, also at a loss.
There was a pause in which so many other things could have been said, but neither woman was about to broach the subjects they were both carefully avoiding, knowing the things that could be said which could cause more harm than good given the circumstances. It was strained, and it was awkward, but neither of them felt inclined to leave the other's proximity just yet.
Aubrey exhaled. "Stacie…"
Stacie folded her arms in front of her, looking down briefly before she looked back up to meet Aubrey's gaze.
Aubrey watched the younger woman put on a defensive stance, immediately recognizing the fact that anything she said now in regard to their relationship wouldn't be received well. She sighed. "I know it's weird, but I'm not here to ruin Coachella, or Spring Break, for you or the other girls."
"You're not." Stacie interjected.
Aubrey smiled wryly. "I kind of am, if Beca already had to come to me with a parley."
Stacie lifted an eyebrow, amused despite their awkwardness. "A parley?"
Aubrey rolled her eyes. "I know."
"It's fine." Stacie assured her. She smiled weakly. "I mean it's definitely weird, but it's fine. We're fine."
Stacie's voice faltered then, as she and Aubrey exchanged a wry, knowing look, because were they, really?
Stacie unfolded her arms and checked her phone, seeing messages from Jessica. "I have to…"
"Oh. Of course." Aubrey nodded, stepping back. "Tell them about the party? A car will come by to pick us up."
Stacie frowned. "For fifteen people?"
Aubrey shrugged.
Stacie looked away briefly, trying to decide if she really wanted to know the answer to what she was about to ask, before turning back to Aubrey. "This Jill chick…"
Aubrey gave her a look, as if to ask if she was sure about asking the question.
Which was just about all the response Stacie needed. "Oh."
"It was a long time ago," Aubrey was quick to reassure.
It helped a little, but not by much.
Aubrey smiled faintly, knowing that their tentative truce had just suffered a serious setback. "I'll see you later, Stacie."