TSUNADE AVERTED HER eyes for a moment as she stared at him, gritting her teeth in pure agony. She wanted to help Gaara so badly; to be sitting here in a deadlock with him was utterly nerve-wracking. Sasori had done as she asked and stayed in the wing while she 'talked' to him. So fair their talk had consisted of him glaring at her half-heartedly while she picked at the hem of her shirt, only glancing at him every once in a while.

He didn't want to break the silence, but a nagging voice inside of his head was telling him that he needed help. He knew that he sure as hell couldn't keep on living with the way things were. There were so many questions that he didn't know the answers to. That was one of the worst parts for him; the not knowing.

Tsunade sighed softly, pulling her hair back into a bun. Gaara masked his admiration for her as she moved. On the surface she appeared cool and collected even though he know on the inside her resolve was crumbling. He was waiting for it to break, for her to beg him to speak, get frustrated, and then march off in frustration. Another part of him was strongly averted to that. It was the strangest thing.

The idea of hurting her brought forth no good feelings. He felt no stronger for remaining quiet. In fact, the silence was killing him. He didn't understand it. This was similar to the feelings he felt after hurting Sakura. It was similar to how Gaara felt when he was getting ready to do something terrible to Sakura and then thought better of it. The sight of their tears was a powerful depressant. But he didn't know why.

"It's strange," he murmured, not actually meaning to speak out loud.

Tsunade's head perked up, her gaze shifting from the now-fraying hem of her shirt to Gaara's pensive features. "What?"

Gaara flinched slightly, realizing his casual utterance. "It's strange... I don't want to talk to you. But not because... It is..." He trailed off, unsure of how to phrase his thoughts. He didn't think he liked her. He wasn't sure if he was feeling guilt or if he cared about her at all. "I don't wish to speak to you, yet I have a bizarre aversion to the mental image of you crying."

Tsunade hummed in consideration as she thought. She couldn't openly assume anything about his feelings or tell him how he was feeling. He would make efforts to not feel that way if he was being told he felt that way. If she told him it was because he cared about her he might retort with an action or set of words to make her believe otherwise.

Gaara stared at her, tilting his head to the side. He was confused by her lack of words. "Why are you silent? This isn't how this works."

"Trying to tell you what I think you might be feeling would be counterproductive. You have the tendency to negate my assumptions by purposefully doing otherwise. I would rather not tell you how you're feeling because truth be told... I know how you feel."

Tsunade watched as he quickly forced his gaze away from her face. She wondered if she looked as morose as she felt. Gaara studied the palms of his hands; they were resting palm-side up on his thighs. When had he done that? He usually sat with his hands clenched into fists, resting on the arms of the chairs. It was a bizarre gesture of offering; at least, it looked that way to him.

Was his subconscious trying to tell him to offer something? He'd heard Tsunade talk enough about the subconscious when he was ten that he'd looked it up and learned about it. Subtle cues like this were important. Weren't they?

Gaara pushed the thoughts away, trying to focus on his feelings. It was hard to know what he was feeling when he had no idea what certain emotions felt like. He'd only recently begun to feel even a hint of love. It was something he'd thought was always out of his grasp, but now that he had even a glimpse of it with Sakura he realized it in other aspects of his life. There was a very strong, strange emotion he had for Kankuro.

It was nothing like what he felt Sakura. He usually associated the feelings with lust and wanting laid. But this was more than that. It was different with Kankuro; he felt a subtle sense of calm in the pit of his stomach and in his chest it tingled oddly whenever Kankuro went out of his way to do something good for him.

He'd felt that oddly... endearing tingle when Kankuro had pulled him out of his emotional pit. Tsunade was staring at him now, a strange look playing across her features. It would range from confused to something else and then back to confused.

"I don't like it when you stare at me."

"I'm sorry, Gaara, I just couldn't help it. You look like you're having quite the battle of wits with yourself. You look... I can't describe it. What are you thinking about?" She pressed her lips together anxiously, hoping he'd let her in just a little bit.

Gaara shifted his weight to the right, bracing his elbows against the plush arms of the chair. He pressed his fingertips together as he thought on for a moment. When he opened his mouth to speak, he began flexing his fingertips back and forth against each other. "I am thinking about Kankuro."

Tsunade waited for a moment, hoping he'd continue on. He surprised her by fulfilling her wish. "I have been thinking... I read of emotions in books. I read as much as I can in the hopes that the... actions of people can be explained to me. To understand people's motives... You do not truly understand a person's emotions before you can understand how they feel for yourself."

Tsunade leaned forward, resting an elbows on her knee. She was truly interested now. They were not separated by a large desk today; instead they both sat across from each other in session chairs. She was so much more at attention right now. "Are you questioning your brother's motives and emotions?"

"No." Gaara shook his head slightly, as if to clear his mind. "My own. Although, I might as well question his if I am questioning my own. Have you ever noticed something that you never did before? Then you see it everywhere?"

Tsunade nodded, a slight smile on her lips. " I remember when I was five I didn't know you said 'God bless you!' when someone sneezed. I thought it was some strange word. Ga-ble-shoe. I thought they were talking about a monster that gobbled shoes... But when I found out what it actually was, I always notice when someone sneezes and like-wise whether or not someone says 'God bless you.'"

Gaara smirked slightly, pleased she'd picked a humorous detail to share with him. It made him sad though that his was of such a negative nature. "I have begun to realize how it is... to not want to make someone as miserable as I myself am so used to being... at first I didn't even realize it. Then when that happened, I realized that... Kankuro is one of the ones I make the most miserable and for no good reason. I... think I care for him."

"I think you do as well," admitted Tsunade, figuring that if he had admitted it himself she could capitalize upon his statement. "Does it feel how you thought it would?"

"I am not sure. Some aspects are what I had imagined, but others are not," he replied, ceasing the war of his fingers. With a disgruntled sigh he pushed his fingers past one another, interlocking them. "Is love different from lust?"

"Yes. When you love someone, or even like them, you crave their company not because you want to have sex with them, but because you enjoy their company. They make you feel... happy."

Gaara's eyes widened and he dropped his gaze to his lap. He was beginning to feel depressed again. He hadn't felt happy with Sakura. He still felt as miserable as he always was. "What if you like being around them even though they don't make you feel happy?"

"Well..." Tsunade stared at the ceiling as she thought of a fitting response. "I think even unhappy people can love. Even if they aren't happy, they can feel less unhappy while with the one they either love or like. As for romantic like or love, you might feel more at ease with them than you do anyone else. I know this may sound disgusting, but lovers who can cuddle after sex and just lay with each other usually love each other more. Not if one doesn't want to be there, but if both do... Love, while a very strong emotion, can sometimes be as simple as being at ease around that person."

Gaara smiled slightly, though she couldn't see it because he had ducked his head. He was thinking of Sakura. To think that he could love someone was exhilarating. Sakura had said that he loved her because he was willing to let her lay with him and play with his hair... His exhilaration failed when he wondered if she loved him as she said she did. It seemed highly unlikely; his father had not loved him. He had pretended. But he had... he had lied.

"Gaara, I know this might make you unhappy, but-" Gaara's head shot up, the tears in his eyes forgotten. "over the years, I have come to notice things about you. In brief little flickers, I can see the real you. I can see that you're not what you think you are."

"I'm not capable of being loved am I? What good is it if I can love someone if-"

"Gaara,, you are capable of being loved. Do you know why you are?" Tsunade moved closer to him, sitting in the chair next to him. He shook his head left and right to indicate that he did not know why. "Because I love you. You are like a son to me. I know that I can never replace your mother; granted you never knew her, but I love you just like she would have. I want to protect you from harm; not because I pity you, but because I want you safe. I want you to get better because you deserve to be better. You deserve to do better and have better people than you do!"

Gaara stared at her, shocked by her confessions. They fell on him like stones, breaking through the walls he thought he had carefully cultivated and landing on his ego, leaving deep welts and bruises. The right side of his mouth quirked up in a flicker of a smile before his face screwed up in a mask of confusion and hurt.

Tsunade leaned back an inch or two, horrified with herself. She had probably just set herself back not in a month's worth of work, but years.

Gaara's eyebrows drew together and he looked down at his hands, which were once again resting on the top of his thighs. They were gathered into fists but not because of what she had said. It was all the words left unsaid to him for all those years. When he lifted his eyes to meet her gaze, which he could feel upon his head and neck, his eyes brimmed with the unshed tears of a lifetime of depravity. "Why didn't he? Why wasn't I good enough?"

[.-_-.]

"WHERE'S GAARA?" INQUIRED Shikamaru, looking up from his position on the couch. Shikamaru rose a brow when Sasori shrugged casually. "Come on, I know she told you."

Kankuro rose a suspicious brow and cast his gaze in their direction but said nothing. Sasori didn't notice.

"Obviously you know where he is if you're going to talk about her," he muttered, pulling his feet up in front of him so that he could wrap his arms around them. "I just wish I hadn't ever told him. I feel... I think I feel bad..."

Kankuro snorted and threw down the book. "What do you mean you think? Haven't you ever felt bad for hurting somebody?"

Sasori's brows drew together as he thought about it. He'd only ever felt bad when someone had rejected him. He wasn't used to connecting with people. Kai had been refreshing because she'd gotten close enough to him to tell him some of her problems. That had been a first for him. A first time he hadn't wanted to ruin someone for trying to get even a little bit close.

"No."

"Not even a friend?"

"I never had friends."

"Damn."

Kankuro was baffled by that one. He hadn't had good friends since he was ten and still attending school. Granted, he'd never told anyone just what had happened and he lied to each of them everyday, but he'd at least known friendship growing up. "Why not?"

Sasori shrugged as if he didn't care about what he was saying. "Mom had schizophrenia. Every time I'd get even the slightest hint of a friend or anything. I guess saying I never had friends was... extreme. I did have a friend or two. But every single time I made a friend, she'd move us. Dad was rich enough to support her lunacy, but... it didn't help me any. I don't know how to be friends with someone. All I ever wanted all of my life was to meet the kid she was obsessed with, but... I screwed even that up."

Kankuro was quiet for a moment. "Didn't she ever talk about me?"

Sasori bit his lip, suddenly hesitant. "Are you sure you want me to tell you the truth?"

Kankuro gasped slightly, completely taken by surprise. Was it really that bad? He looked away, trying to breath evenly. "Yeah."

"She thought you were dead. She thought Gaara was dead, too, but she just... She had resigned herself to losing you, I guess. She said that the people who would steal me had stolen you, too. I don't think she didn't want you; she made a weird shrine for you in every house." Sasori could see the undecided look on his brother's face, and he stopped. "When you and Gaara are both ready, Tsunade would like to help me explain to you exactly just what happened."

Kankuro nodded, dully. Naruto's voice from the other room was becoming increasingly loud in his ears until he couldn't stand it anymore. Sasori looked away, unsure of what to do.

"Cheer up, Kankuro. I don't like it when you're sad," moaned Shikamaru, sitting up on the couch. "Don't make me get up and tickle you, you troublesome motherfucker."

Kankuro laughed slightly, smiling at Shikamaru. "Really? You'd get off your ass just for me?"

"Aye, that I would. But I'd rather not. Tsunade would say I'm making progress and try to remove me from the institution." Shikamaru laced his hands behind his head, keeping one eye cracked open to gauge Kankuro's reaction.

"Ha! Doubt that... I don't think we'll ever get out of here."

"Yeah," admitted Sasori. "You wouldn't be able to continue killing scum like Kisame if you did get out."

Kankuro froze, staring at Sasori in complete shock. How had he known that?

There was a slight creek as Naruto's door slowly swung open. Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba stood there in utter confusion and fear. Paint was still smeared all over their hands from the project they'd been working on. Ironically, they were caught red-handed.

[.-_-.]

SAKURA FROWNED, THE fading light that filtered through her window and past the bars casting spooky shadows on her face. She was waiting for Gaara to return. There was a commotion in the living room, but she was too tired to get out of bed.

Gaara had kept her up all night the past two nights. His sexual appetite had become insatiable, although she wasn't sure it was because he found her body irresistible. She didn't know what was wrong, but she knew he wasn't going to tell her if he didn't want to.

The sex had been great at first, but after a while it had begun to hurt. A girl's body was only meant to take so much. She'd known that he was hurting more than she possible could have, so she hadn't said anything. She wondered if he'd even noticed.

He was talkative. Not about anything important. He was desperately avoiding conversation. Gaara's hunger to kill was undeniable. His latest target was a pedophile. She felt bad that she and the rest of the wing, sans Sasori, couldn't help him cleans their institution of the sicko, but it wasn't possible at the moment. As long as Sasori was with them, they couldn't do anything. It was too risky to try and bring him on board with their doings.

When her door creaked open, she looked up with glee, expecting Gaara. Sakura was saddened to see that it was Kankuro.

"I got to talk to you," he explained, not even bothering to ask before he walked in. Kai followed closely after, giving Sakura a shy smile. "Sorry, it's a trust thing," he said, explaining Kai's presence. She sat down on the floor, doing her best to keep her presence to a minimum in their conversation.

"What do you want?"

"Sasori knows." Kankuro exhaled shakily, then repressed a victorious smile. "He said he heard about it from Genma. Genma apparently knew we had to have done something when Kisame was found as he was. Genma was grateful because Kisame beat him to a pulp on a regular basis, even when unprovoked. So..."

Sakura sat up, pondering the possibilities of what Kankuro was telling her. "Judging by how happy you seem about this, I would assume that he is... in favor of what we do?"

Kankuro nodded gleefully, rocking back onto his heels. "It's been too long."

"Indeed, it has," purred a deep voice from the doorway. Sakura smiled when Gaara stepped over the threshold and sank down onto the bed next to her. "But, before we do that... You both need to leave so I can speak to Sakura."

Sakura's heart sank, hoping she wouldn't have to have sex for the umpteeth time in the past two days. Kai and Kankuro wordlessly departed, leaving them alone.

She was both pleasantly surprised and deeply when worried when she realized that Gaara's true intention was to talk to her.

Author's Note: So... This is what I did. I wrote it in like an hour and a half after I got home from school today. I hope you enjoy. I'm beginning to rap things up for this portion of the story. Sorry if my writing is less... reform, I guess. I'm writing on Open Office and can't figure out how to get it to grammar check. :P

Let me know what you think.

ALSO! I have a poll.

Gaara and Kankuro are going to meet their mother. Do we want...

A.] Their mother to resume a position of motherliness?

B.] Tsunade to be their mother figure; she worked with them since Gaara nine and Kankuro was ten.