THIRTY-SEVEN

-"Jean!"- I heard my name called, but damn, I had this awful ringing in my ear. Whoever was calling sounded far yet close, -"What happened?"- The voice sounded desperate and worried. Was it Dad?

I opened my eyes slowly only to see nothing but blur. I began to stretch, but felt liquid all around me. I started shaking, feeling cold all of a sudden. I couldn't make sense of anything, my mind was still asleep. Then, suddenly, I felt I was flying, moving away from wherever I was. Slowly and steadily, I landed in something soft and comfortable. Maybe the clouds? Was I dying? I did feel cold...

-"Jean..."- Again, a worried call. Only difference was that now… it sounded familiar.

-"M-Marco...?"- His name slipped from my mouth. I didn't even think about it.

A gasp, -"Jean, can you hear me? Are you alright?"

I started thinking, connecting my mind with my body and then -oh God, the pain. Every time I tried to shift position, it hurt, even moving a finger hurt. It felt like they were frozen. Other than that, I had a horrible headache and an excruciating pain in my back. I groaned. My vision was still blurry as if I was surrounded by fog and this coldness...; I'm really, really starting to think I'm dead.

-"Tell me how you feel, please."- But his voice...; if I'm dead, why am I hearing him?

I spoke, teeth clattering, -"I-I-I-I'm c-c-c-c-cold..."- I unconsciously moved my arms to wrap them around me, but the shot of pain prevented me so, -"And m-m-m-my head..."

I then heard footsteps and a sudden beam of light fell upon me along with a warming breeze. I shivered a bit, but then relaxed under the light. Was this heaven?

Again, footsteps and his soft voice, -"Better?"

I tried stretching again and this time I made progress, -"Y-yeah..."- I moaned as I moved my hand towards my face; it was cold too, my lips quivered and my nose felt like a rock. Unconsciously, I placed my hand on my chest and I felt something completely drenched. I forced the mist out of my eyesight and peeked down; I had yesterday's clothes on, utterly soaked. What the fuck happened?! Looking around, reality hit me: I was in my room, in my bed. Marco must have been the one who carried me here...

-"Here,"- I looked beside and met his eyes, -"For the headache."- He had a glass of water in one hand and a pair of pills on the other.

I tried sitting up, pushing my body up with my arms, but the soreness in my back brought me back down. Marco placed the glass and the pills on the night table beside the bed and helped me sit up. My face burned as he slid his hand behind my back, -"M-M-M-Marco... w-wait..."- Slow reality popped up; he was in my room and I had inexcusable mess...! There were underpants, pants and shirts tossed all around!

-"Shh, let me help you."- He said compassionately as he slowly lifted me into a comfortable position. He placed my pillows behind me and I promptly leaned back.

I hesitated for a moment, wanting to tell him he didn't need to, but then..., -"Oh shit!"- I glanced at the clock: 9:30! -"C-c-c-classes started! We're la-"

-"It's okay, Jean,"- He said calmly, -"Don't worry."

-"W-w-w-what, but...!"

-"You can't go like this,"- He said, looking down at me worriedly, -"Here, I brought you something."

He picked up the glass and the pills. I drank down the pills and peeked at whatever else he brought; my nose was starting to work as the sweet scent of hot chocolate penetrated my nostrils, -"H-how did you..."

Marco smiled, a faint blush in his cheeks.

-"Y-you didn't have to..." - I had a gut feeling he bought it for me; that or he made it, either way, he didn't had to.

-"It's okay, really,"- He said, his cheeks blushing more, -"I want to help you. I mean it."

I knew he did, it's all over his face: determination. He was committed on helping me. It's not like all this was a secret mission or anything, but he was still serious about it.

I was about to speak again, until he gasped, -"Be right back!"- He said and left.

I thought I heard a car honk, but then again, I still had that bugging ringing in my ears. I felt water in them and it was annoying. I started hitting my head in an attempt to pour the water out and reason all this. I was embarrassing myself and Marco. Why was I soaked? I remember being extremely sad yesterday, like every night here alone. Then, I played CoD, took a bath and... what happened next? I couldn't wrap my mind around it and the headache prevented me to think further.

-"I'm back,"- Marco said cheerfully, as if he had good news, drooping a few plastic bags on the floor near the bed, -"Mom bought a few things. There's a tea that'll warm you and-"

-"Wait, wait, wait,"- I said, trying to focus my eyes on the bags, to no avail, -"She what?"

-"She bought these. I asked her to."

-"No way...,"- I roughly leaned back and hit my head, hard, -"Ow!"

Marco quickly rushed to me, -"Take it easy, Jean!"

I rubbed the area, -"I can't believe she..."

-"Don't you remember?"- Marco asked, -"We meant it when we said we'd give you anything you needed."

Yeah, I remember. I knew they were serious, but I still didn't want them going out of their way just for me.

A moment later, the scent of the hot chocolate reminded me that I haven't drink it. I reached for it and slowly poured it down my sore throat, warming it. It was good. Not so sweet, not so sour either.

-"Jean, why didn't you tell us you ran out of groceries?"- Marco asked when I finished the hot chocolate.

I looked at him and shrugged, -"I... I dunno. I wasn't going to call you so late for that."- Half a lie. I was without groceries since before.

Marco sighed, not falling for it, -"You haven't eaten well either."

Well shit, he could count all my flaws all day if he wanted to, but I wanted to change the subject, -"Why are you still here?"- I asked and it wasn't in a dismissive manner.

Marco's happy face shattered a bit and my heart shattered next, -"Well, I asked mom if I could... stay with you and she said yes. Well, she asked me too."

My eyes widen and my mouth gaped. I somehow couldn't process that, -"You... what?"

Marco nodded, his face burning red now.

I... didn't knew what to say, despite my overwhelming happiness inside me. I swore I got better right there and now, as if my whole body unfroze, my soaked clothes dried up.

-"Is that... okay with you?"- He asked, afraid of what I might say.

I inspected his expression: he wanted to stay, but was afraid I might say no. He had absolutely no problem whatsoever. That his mother asked him? That was bluff. And he looked excited, happy. He wanted to stay. He wanted to take care of me today, even though I wasn't seriously ill.

I bit my lip, trying to hold back a tear or two. I simply nodded, -"Y-yeah... I have no problem, but what about school? I can go, really."- I was uneasy about the mess I had, but the empowering happiness nulled it.

Marco's expression relaxed as he smiled warmly, then he turned serious, -"No, you can't go,"- He said, searching the bags. He looked back at me, concerned, -"Jean, I found you in the bathroom and the shower was on. What happened? That was dangerous, you could've...,"- He stopped bit, -"Died there."

-"Really?"- I said, surprised, -"I had no idea,"- Clearly not. I didn't even knew people could die taking showers -long showers, in that matter. I guess 12 hours was a bit extreme. So... I literally slept in the bathroom while taking a shower. Great, -"But I'm fine, really."

Marco walked toward me and pulled one of my fingers up slightly, -"Ow, ow, ow!"- I yelled, pain coursing through me.

-"No you're not,"- He said, letting go of my poor finger, -"Your bones are frozen, Jean. They need to warm up first before you can even stand up."

He made it sound like I couldn't and for me, that was a challenge, -"Pft, yeah sure. If I can stand up, then you owe me another hot chocolate. If I can walk and, uh...,"- I thought of another challenge. My cheeks flared with this one, -"Give you a k-kiss, then you owe a Batman bracelet."

Marco chuckled, his cheeks reddening.

I began to slide down my bed to stand up, but the moment my body made weight on my legs, I fell. Marco laughed and caught me before I could make love with the floor.

-"Shit."- I cursed, with no other option than to rest my body over his.

-"See? You need to rest and let your bones warm up."

I pouted. I wanted to kiss him anyways, so I stalled there.

And as if he read my mind, Marco moved his face close to mines and disposed of the space between us with a warm kiss. I kissed him back, obviously, moving with his current. My lips warmed; they didn't felt so numb as to null Marco's touch. When he parted his lips from mines, Marco gently pushed me back to bed, holy shit, this is it! I was all soaked, but I didn't care. If Marco wanted to do it now, then now it is. My body burned with excitement, despite my current status. I was so looking for it that I felt a mess form in between my legs.

-"I need to give you a warming tea. It tastes bad, but you need to drink it. It'll help warm you up."- He said and went downstairs.

Bummer. I slumped back, half of my excitement extinguishing. I slapped myself mentally. What were you thinking, you perv? Marco was probably not ready for sex yet. I didn't even though about it. The moment he pushed me to the bed, my body was ready for it. Marco wasn't, but I did and I wanted it, but I needed to give him time. I can't rush this. It'll seem as if what we have is just lust, like all I wanted was to make love and I wanted to show him otherwise; that I truly loved him and not bed him 24/7. I can't deny my desires either, but everything is due it's time.

He came up with another cup, using a spoon to stir the godforsaken tea. I took a sip and immediately spit it out, -"Fuck! Tastes horrible!"

Marco gave me a begging look, making those puppy eyes, -"Please? It's for your own well-being. And please drink slowly, one sip at a time."

I bit my lip and tried to resist those eyes, but damn, it was a losing battle. I took the cup again reluctantly and drank it all in one gulp. Bad idea; my throat scorched whenever I tried to clear it. I coughed, trying to spit the horrible taste it left.

-"I told you to drink it one sip at a time."- Marco scolded.

-"God, please fuck whoever created this shit."- I cursed with my tongue out.

-"Well, now you have to deal with it,"- Marco said, taking the cup away and crossing his arms, -"But you'll feel better. I promise."

-"If you say so."

-"You're a horrible tea drinker,"- Marco laughed, -"Now rest for a while and wait for it to make effect."

And sure enough, I felt my bones warming up after a while. I could move my fingers better. I was still cold though and I started realizing that my clothes -and naturally, my bed, were still drenched. I began to stand up and walk towards the cabinets, leaning onto anything I laid eyes on, but...

-"Ow! Shit!"- My legs betrayed me, wobbling each time I weighted on them. I had stumbled forwards and hit my head against the wall.

Marco quickly aided me, -"Jean, be careful,"- He then eyed me, tilting his head, -"Yeah, your clothes aren't helping much. Let me help."

My eyes widen and I began to stutter, my face burned, -"W-w-wa-wait!"- Marco? Undressing me? -"I-I can still do it!"

Marco gave me a dubious look as he slowly let go of me. I quickly lent on the cabinet, -"But you can barely stand for a minute."

Damn, he was right. My legs started wobbling more than usual and the scene recorded through my mind: Marco lifting up my shirt, me, unable to resist myself, pulling him to the bed, making out...; I slapped myself mentally. Just a few minutes ago, I though Marco was pushing me to bed for sex and I prepared myself and now that he wants to help me take off my clothes for my health, I was cowering like a pussy! -"Th-that's not true."

Marco looked at me skeptically, but then smiled, -"It's okay, but I need to be here in case you fall again."

I bit my lip. I didn't feel uncomfortable or anything, I was just... nervous. The idea sent chills throughout my body. It was thrilling just thinking about him just touching me even the slightest. And he spoke like it was completely normal. Maybe that's one of the perks of dating a best friend. If so, then why did I get so coy? Maybe I was seeing him more like my boyfriend instead of my best friend...

-"O-okay... help me."- I said, my teeth clattering both due to the nervousness and coldness. I was feeling butterflies in my stomach and the thought: Marco is gonna undress me, Marco is gonna undress me, circulated in my mind.

Marco was turning around by the time and then looked back at me, -"You sure? I know why you're..."

I nodded. I figured as much. Clever freckled nerd.

Smiling, he turned around again and faced me, -"Okay. Where do you keep your shirts?"

I patted the cabinet I was leaning onto and pointed at the first row. Marco rummaged it and lifted up a plain white t-shirt. I nodded and he descended one row and dug out soft baggy trousers. He helped me walk towards the bed and I sat, readying myself. I took a deep breath, in hopes of calming myself. I didn't want to make Marco uncomfortable again. He placed the clothes beside me.

-"I think you can put the shirt on your own. Let me know when you're done."- I knew he was trying to make me comfortable too.

I pulled up my shirt, slowly and steadily, but winced the moment I lifted my arms, the pain traveling to my back. I couldn't say if it was lack of exercise or because my bones were still frozen. Either way, Marco looked over his shoulder and rushed towards me.

That current of electricity shot through the moment he slightly touched my skin with his fingertips. In moments like this, our sexual tension grew, but I managed to hold it off. Marco lifted my soaked shirt, leaving me shirtless. When he picked the other one and turned back to me, he stopped abruptly. His eyes fell to me, lower to my abdomen in awe. Even though I haven't done training in a while, I still had my packs and Marco was about to drool over them.

His cheeks blushed as he bit his lip, -"Um... here."

He gave me the shirt and I slowly, painstakingly put it on with his help, -"Ow, ow."- I winced as he raised my arms a bit.

-"Almost there,"- He laughed when I winced for the fourth time or so, -"You're such a baby, you know."

I laughed too in spite of myself.

-"Um... do you want to change your underwear too? I-I mean... you have to..."- He asked, his face redder. He avoided my eyes nervously.

Yeah, I did, particularly because of the mess I had from before. I nodded slowly and he went to get one. When he got back with it, he quickly turned around, leaving me my space.

I snorted and took off my drenched pants and the underwear. Realizing I was half naked behind him, I quickly slip on the new ones, ignoring the pain. The nerves were killing me. I called Marco and he helped me slip on the baggy pants. At first, it was awkward, I admit, but I realized he was helping me as my best friend, so I grew comfortable by the minute.

-"There. That's better, right?"- He asked, hands on hips.

I nodded, -"Yeah, thanks,"- I said, scratching my neck, flustered, -"And, uh, sorry for the mess in here."

Marco smiled kindly and knowingly. He knew what I've been through; the mess in my room was the least of my worries. I knew then he was also comfortable here, -"It's nothing. If you need help cleaning up, you can ask me anytime."

I snorted, -"Maybe some other time,"- I yawned tiredly, -"Can you help me get downstairs?"- Marco nodded and helped me up. We walked downstairs and he left me in the sofa. I noticed a few grocery bags on the dining table, -"Your mom bought those too?"- I asked, familiar with the answer.

-"Yeah, she did,"- Marco said, retaining a pack of hot dogs, bacon and whatnot away, -"You needed them. Um, can I open this…?"

I looked over the sofa and nodded. He retained a few canned food in the cabinets. I sighed. There was no way I could repay them after this. I'm grateful, but I still couldn't believe how far they'd go for me. And he was right; I needed this since Dad hasn't come by yet and I ran out of stuff to eat, -"Thanks, guys, really…"

Marco sat beside me when he emptied the bags, -"Think nothing of it. And no, you don't have to repay us. We want to help you, Jean and I want to… make you feel better."

I looked at him in the eye and I knew he meant it. He knew how sad I was feeling. He went through it too, -"Man… I can't believe I slept in the bathroom, with the shower on and everything."- I said, smacking myself mentally for that. I let the loneliness take the better of my emotions and naturally me.

-"Yeah, loneliness can make people do that kind of stuff,"- He said, gazing up, like he was remembering; I knew then that he experienced it too back in the day when I disappeared and probably when his dad died, -"And sadness too, but Jean, you're not alone and you need to remind yourself of that."

I smiled widely, -"I know that now,"- When he titled his head, I looked at him sincerely, -"I have you."

And God, his next smile was unlike any other; it was holy, it repent any negative thoughts I had on me, it was filled with compassion, joy, sincerity and love. Just when I was about to hug him, he launched over me and I fell back onto the couch. Our forehead touched, our whole bodies did; his weight on me pained my bones a bit, but I was too focused on Marco's smile. It was joyful and contagious. I smiled just as equally before he lent down completely and kissed me. My eyes widen for a few seconds; he took me by surprise, but after another seconds or so, I drowned in it. It was a passionate kiss, so passionate and overwhelming. I answered it and in a second, we synced. After a few minutes, he parted his lips from mines, -"I love, you know that?"- I said, a bit breathless.

He smiled widely and nodded, -"I love you too."

I knew what I felt towards him: love, but Marco and I weren't officially boyfriends yet, I hadn't asked him out yet or anything. Maybe when this all over –and I mean Mom's situation, I'll ask him officially. Eternity was out of the question, but I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. He's the only person who has made me feel special and loved, like I was someone important –and I was to him.

We both sat up and watched a few movies after eating breakfast. We made jokes, we laughed, we played and after a few hours, -"Hey, Jean, I know what you need: sunlight."

-"And?"- I said, teasing with his hair.

-"Let's go for a walk and buy hot chocolate. I know the place, it's not so far."- He said, brushing my hands off.

I nodded and stood up. I definitely felt better; I could walk better –at least a few more meters away. I trudged, but Marco aided me. Outside, the sunlight greeted me. My eyes took a while to adjust to it after staying indoors for a long time, but if anything, I needed a sun shower. My bones needed unfreezing. Marco also noted a while ago that I was getting pale. I was killing two birds with one bullet by walking out –well, maybe three, I needed the exercise too.

As we walked, I felt Marco fingers attempt to intertwine with mines. I gazed at him but he was looking straight ahead. The pathway wasn't too crowed at least, so I finally tied them. When we reached the place however, I pulled apart, -"I'd like two hot chocolate, please. Oh! With whip cream on top."- Marco ordered while I sat on the bench.

This place was cozy; it had few round tables with open umbrellas adjusted to them to keep the sunlight off the clients –since I needed the sunlight, I stayed on the bench a bit farther away from the group of tables. Each had a glass with incense on them, emitting a sweet fragrance around this area. Aside from the breeze, I could hear the hum of chatter from the people here. Most were couples.

Marco came to me with two hot chocolates, each with a mountain of whip cream of top and thin straws. Marco payed most, but I gave him yesterday's leftover. As we drank, I could hear mutters and giggles. I looked up and saw a couple glancing in our direction, -"What are they laughing at?"- I asked, loud enough for them to laugh again.

-"Jean…"

I put on the most threatening glare I could muster but they somehow found it amusing and laughed more. My though guy attitude stubbed out. I admit, I didn't felt as competent and fierce as when I protected Marco from Frank, so I shrank back in the bench and hurried the hot chocolate down my throat. The sooner we got out of here, the better. Their guffaw ringed in my ear as if they were right beside me.

But Marco wasn't in such a hurry. He wanted to buy donuts for both of us. I stopped him, -"Let's just get out of here. I can't stand those two."- I said, nodding towards the couple, appearing to be angry, ignoring the luring fear within me.

Marco glanced at them and then at me, -"But they're just-"

-"They're laughing at us."- I hissed.

-"Jean…,"- His voice trailed off as his gaze fell, -"Just go ahead of me if you'd like."

And that's exactly what I did. I headed home fast, ignoring the shots of pain here and there. I left Marco behind, not even thinking if something bad happened to him. The lurking fear within me grew and I moved faster and faster, still hearing their laughs.

When I reached home, I slammed the door shut and buried myself in my bed, face down in the pillow. Those laughs were so familiar, so similar like yore. I remember from way back when I was teeming with bullies around me; I was a kid, so wonky and defenseless and yet I'd punch them –or tried to. I got in fights all the time, alas, getting beat up and knocked out, but only so far it went. I'd given up, I was outnumbered and near deranged. That's when I decided to leave all that behind –including myself. I changed drastically.

I thought I overcame all of that, I though it'll no longer affect me, but I was wrong. A childish part of me was afflicted when those two laughed at me –well, at us. And their looks. So piercing, so threatening, so familiar…

The memories flooded me until I collapsed.