Questions

1. Boxers or briefs?

Izaya: Hmm...between the two, I guess I'll have to pick boxers; after seeing that strawberry boxer, who won't? – shows the interviewee the strawberry boxer – Neh~ isn't it cute? Huh, where did I get it? Of course Shizu-chan 'gave' this to me as a present.

Shizuo: What kind of screwed up question is that? It's the fucking flea we're talking 'bout. Hell, he might even be wearing furred underwear, whether boxers or briefs!

2. At night, pajamas or buff?

Izaya: Pajamas wins hand down; nothing's more cuter than seeing Shizu-chan sleeping comfortably under those blankets without realizing that someone's watching him through the window. Pardon me, could you repeat that again? ...Am I a stalker? Of course not, how did you even come to such an conclusion

Shizuo: Buff...? What does that word mean? Huh? I can't hear you, speak up. Nevermind? If that's the case, don't waste your time asking such dumb questions!

3. Condom or bareback?

Izaya: Hmm...that really depends on the position.

Shizuo: What kind of fucking question is that? But...I guess bareback for him and condom for me...

4. Favorite brand of condoms?

Izaya: Well, I don't really stick to one brand. Though there are quite a few brands out there that I might want to buy.

Shizuo: Who cares about the brand? As long as it fits...wait...what the hell am I even answering? When the fuck will this interview end?

5. Favorite brand of lube?

Izaya: Well, I don't really care about the name of the brands for the lube. Though I really like the vanilla scented ones, they smell delicious – just like Shizu-chan.

Shizuo: As long as it isn't strawberry scented– ...oh...I just remembered, where did I place that boxer Kasuka gave me? Huh, how did you know that it's a strawberry boxer? ….Hold on for a moment, I need to go to the toilet for a moment. Oh yes, if I return with some blood stain, it's just your imagination.

6. Top or bottom?

Izaya: Top – because Shizu-chan's too adorable to pass up. Hmm? Of course I do bottom once in awhile; Shizu-chan's too stingy to let me top him every single time. But you won't hear me complaining.

Shizuo: Top. Huh? Is it possible that I've been the bottom before? ...oi...what gives you such an impression, huh? Do I look the slightest bit 'cute' in that way? Oi, if you nod that head one more time, I'll make sure you can never nod again.

7. How many times a day or week?

Izaya: Sadly, we don't get the chance to do it everyday – my work and his job tends to clash with each other quite often. Sometimes, we don't even get to do it for a few months! But the spare key I made for Shizu-chan's door tends to be very useful at nights~~

Shizuo: When we can do it, I'll prefer not to...that fucking flea always has some kind of fucked up plan stirring at the back of his mind, so when there's time to spare, he'll use it for his own selfish needs. Oh, that reminds me...I need to get a new lock for my door again...

8. Preferred position?

Izaya: Hnn~~Would you like to guess?

Shizuo: It's been getting on my nerves for quite awhile...What kind of screwed up interview is this? All the question that you've been asking since earlier is all about the fucking same shit: SEX! – grabs the interviewee with both hands, hissing –

9. Foreplay?

Izaya: Yes. It's usually useful when I want Shizu-chan to beg for it, or even when he make me beg for it.

Shizuo: I don't like it when he does it. He's fucking screwed up in the mind, do you know how long he drags it? Oh, that reminds me...I'll to pay him back ten times the next time, may till he wish he's dead...

10. Rate your sex life from 1-10 with 10 being the best.

Izaya: I think it ranges around seven to nine? There are times which everything seems...unpleasant.

Shizuo: – stands up before picking up the nearest object to throw – I'll give you the count of three to run... THREE!

A/N:

If Shizuo was real, I'm sure I won't dare to even interview him...I'll be killed by him. orz

~-~-~-~Anon review reply~-~-~-~

To Izzy-baka: Aww...thanks; but I'm sure there're plenty of better writing styles out there. Either ways, request taken up. Also, it really isn't inconvenient, I just need to manage my time well - though I'm kind stuffed with things, it might be quite a while before I post it up.