Title: The Spot
A/N: This story is based off a poem I wrote... hahaha weird eh? Anne writing poetry... scary thought (Tennantfangirl equals Anne.. btw) anyway... apparently I'm pretty decent at poems... but seeing how I haven't written any in a while.. and this one happens to be one of my favourites.. I thought I'd take the general concept and apply it to a story :D...
He did not come to this spot often. This place had always been able to mess with his head. Whenever he sat a top the roof of the clinic, he felt as if the world could see everything. But at the same time... he felt as if he could see everything in the world. Things became clearer yet cloudy at the same time. He could see all the things he wanted to see but reality itself would distort and blur around him.
He would see all the places he took her. The place they met, the place they first kissed, the spot where she left him bleeding to death, the spot where he asked her to marry him, their first date, the place where she had confessed her love for him and he had back, the place where she had told him... the overbearing news... the news that lead him to this spot.
He could see the events play over as he gazed at the spots. He would see the laughs, the smiles, the pleas, the pain, the sadness. So much sadness. It was always in the back of her eyes, even when she was happy.
From there he could see all the places he would and could take her in the future. He could see future events play out before him,. how he would imagine them. He could see the tears, and the shouts, he could see the fights, everything.
This spot had an overwhelming effect on the young man. As he thought about everything in his life, the world around him would slowly change and morph into a place he really didn't know... a place where he didn't belong.. and never would. He would always be an outsider to this twisted reality that he faced when he came to this spot.
He would hear hushed whispers, urging him to do the things he desired, foot steps coming closer.. telling him to run far and fast before the overwhelming distortions controlled him completely, He could hear The laughter of his children... making him regret all the things he had done.
It was in this spot where he could see what he had done.. and what could be done. How he could fix things, instead of people. he spent so much time worrying about his patients.. he never had time for his love or his children. It was here where the issues were brought to mind, where he could learn to handle them.
He could almost see the desolation in her violet eyes as the demand spilled from her mouth. they stood on the drive way of their home.. not too far from there. He could see the event from where he sat. He could see his children standing behind their mother. All of them sad. all of them so hopelessly alone in the world. All of them outsiders. He hadn't been their to ease their pain... and in doing so he had hurt them more than he had done good. This caused Rukia pain.
Her cold violet eyes.
He averted his eyes, the scene to painful to watch. Instead he looked out across the city to the field, where Raikou and Kai played soccer. He had been to one of their games. Kaji was always too sick to play on a team sport with his twin sister, so Kai.. the youngest of the four had taken it upon his three year old self to join the peewee team with his four and a half year old sister.
He loved to re-watch the game.
Kaji had been healthy enough that day to go watch.
Pain struck his heart.
Why did life have to be so cruel to those who did their best to make things better.
"Why, Ichigo, why is life cruel to those who try so hard to better the world?"
Her words had nearly killed him.
Tears fell from desolate eyes, as life passed from the living world to the Soul Society. He never wanted to see another Black Butterfly as long as he lived.
He willed his eyes to look back at happier times. The world distorted once again and he found himself watching Rukia teach the kids to swim. her violet eyes void of sadness, helping Eimei into the pool while he secured floaties on his younger children. Laughter ringing through the air. Smiles on little faces. Kaji and Raikou sitting at the poolside, never setting foot into imposing water. Kai running around the pool screaming while Rukia urged him that is was dangerous.
How could it be that in under a month their summer happiness had faded to a dead fall.
"Ichigo... why did this happen?"
More cold words from dead souls.
He often wondered if it was even possible to fix these things.
One reason he often loved with spot was because he couldn't see the hospital or the clinic. The places where the most pain was focused.
"Why Ichigo..why?"
Her words would forever haunt them.
"You could have done something..."
She was right, but he hadn't. He was too busy looking at the science of the matter than to realize where he was really needed.
"Why is it so cold, Daddy?"
A tear slid down his cheek. Life was never fair, even for the good.
Ichigo stood up, swallowing hard. He jumped from the roof and made a mad dash for his home. If he ran.. maybe he could stop this from happening. Maybe he could save his family from falling apart.
He had never gone to the spot often... but after the past few months... he went their nightly.. to escape.
Their silver minivan was pulling from he driveway, Rukia t the wheel. Ichigo ran and pounded at the window. Rukia turned and looked at him, eyes still so dead.
She rolled down the window.
"I'm going to Ishida's house for now... but after that.. I'll be in Tokyo... seeing my brother..." She whispered.
He bit his lip. "Rukia.. what can I do to make things right again? I don't want to loose more children.. and I don't want to loose you again.."
A tear slid down her pale face. "It's too late for that Ichigo..."
"It's never too late.. Rukia.." He breathed, "I want to make you happy.."
She whimpered, "Bring back the lost time between you and I, bring back the time you could have spent with the kids... if you want to make things right... bring Kaji back.."
Ichigo watched the car pull away along with his dreams.
Ichigo suddenly found himself back on the roof. He ran back to his home, and threw open the door. Rukia sat in the kitchen, decorating sugar cookies with their four kids. She smiled up at Ichigo. Her violet eyes shinning.
"Hi.."
He sighed in relief, running to his pregnant wife. He gave her a tight hug, confusing her.
He didn't go to that spot often..
but when he did...
his reality became twisted and distorted...
and sometimes...
it felt all too real.
A/N: yeah another weird one.. I dunno.. I first wrote this as happy.. and such.. but then is got all emo... Man... I feel weird now...
If you didn't understand what was going on right then.. I'll explain. Ichigo had a terrible dream of his future... but he thought it was reality... don't ask why... I just... don't know...
The Spot
I hear things sometimes.
The hushed voices that blow through the wind
The gentle footsteps in the frozen snow
The soft laughter in the flowing river.
I hear them when I come here.
This quiet spot between reality and imagination
within the dark reaches of my mind this spot gives light
illuminating my fears
desires
wants
needs
and feelings.
I do not come to this spot often
But when I do
I hear things.