Once they were both ready they drove over, going into the small restaurant and getting a table. They sat down and Danny ordered drinks for them, holding her hand and squeezing it gently. "You okay?"
Clara nodded, "I guess it's just different today. I don't know what to do."
"If you need a break at any time just kick my leg a little and I'll call your phone," he winked. "Unless you just want to go for the safe word idea?"
"I'll just say Jess is ringing," she suggested, trying to come up with something that was unlikely to occur in a catch up conversation with her family.
"That works, and just in time," he nodded to the door where they'd just walked in. Her aunt pushed the buggy over with Clara's Nana and Grandad walking in behind. Danny and Clara both greeted everyone and Clara helped Julie get Max and Lily into the highchairs before they sat back down.
Julie ordered the drinks for them before finally sitting down herself. "You look surprisingly good for someone who was partying all night."
"Thanks… I think?" Clara smiled a little. "I'm sorry I don't really know how to-"
"It's fine love. You've been through a lot since you last saw us it's bound to feel strange. We're not here to judge you kid, just want to get to know you again. Tell us more about you two," her Nana leant forward across the table, grinning at her.
Clara groaned, "Nana we're 14 it's not like I'm going to tell you we've got 2 kids and got married in secret last Wednesday."
"No," Danny popped up, "just the one kid and we're not getting married until next week."
"I like him," Julie replied, "good sense of humour."
"Who said he was making a joke?" Clara asked, putting a serious look on her face. All 3 members of her family looked a little questionable for a split second before Clara and Danny started laughing. "We're 14!" She exclaimed.
"Your mother would be-" her Grandad started, "well, she'd be very proud."
Clara shook her head, "no Grandad. She'd be interrogating Danny everyday for at least a year - then she'd be proud."
They all shrugged and nodded in agreement, "true. We all know how young she and your Dad met, but we also know how overprotective she was of you," her Grandad agreed.
"Ellie sounds like a wonderful mum, Clara's told me a bit," he reached and took Clara's hand, seeing in her eyes that this conversation wasn't the easiest for her.
Julie took over, "she was the best. Loved her family so much, kept telling me how much I'd love having kids. Turns out she was right," she spoke, interacting with the twins while she did, "but then she usually was."
"It's nice to talk about her," Clara looked down. "Dad said we might go and see her grave soon. He hasn't been since… well, since the funeral."
"I've taken the twins a couple of times and occasionally we've been altogether," Julie explained. Clara nodded, not looking up.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket, "Jess is ringing, I'll just be a sec you don't need to come," Clara told Danny and went outside for a bit of fresh air.
He watched her go, telling himself he'd go if she wasn't back in 5 minutes. He also decided to say something. "Clara's only been once - to the grave. She went on her own a few months back, spent the day there... " he suddenly remembered the moment he found her. "She wants to do everything now but she needs to be careful I think-" Danny was interrupted by a commotion from the other side of the restaurant and a couple of people running out. "I'll be right back."
Danny ran out and his fears were recognised. Clara was on the floor, not fitting - and the witnesses around told him that she hadn't done. He got everyone to disperse and sat down beside her, pulling her close. "You're okay." She hadn't collapsed at all, at least she hadn't gone unconscious. This was just everything becoming slightly overwhelming, she was trying to shut the outside world out, so he just kept whispering. "Everyone's gone, it's just you and me," he held her and Clara buried her head in him. Julie came out and Danny shook his head when she tried to get close but asked her to keep people away. "Don't think for a minute you've failed or let anyone down, we just need to take things a bit slower, one step at a time."
It took around 10 minutes before Clara sat up, rubbing her hair back. "I'm sorry, there was so much talk about Mum I didn't know what to do, I forgot everything I'm supposed to do to help myself."
"Not totally, you didn't collapse, you stopped that."
"I guess," she sighed but stood up. "Right, let's go back in. If I can only remember one thing, it's that I shouldn't run away. I feel alright I just needed that time." Danny nodded and they went back in, Julie following. Her grandparents were looking a little concerned. "I'm okay, honestly the pity look gets really boring when you've been at this over a year."
Danny squeezed her hand and smiled. "Yeah trust me she doesn't like that," he sat down with her.
Her Nana leant over to her, "Clara listen. Whether you've visited 100 times or once I know you'll have been thinking about her. Your Mum loved you so much."
"You don't think she'd be disappointed?" She asked.
"Not one bit. How many times have you read Pride and Prejudice since she died?" Nana asked.
"I…" they all gave her a knowing look and she gave in. "Fifteen. All the way through anyway."
The whole family started chuckling, "and that is exactly why your mother would be proud. Now I don't know about you but I'm starving so let's order."
#-#-#-#
By the time they got home Clara was shattered. She hugged her Dad and then collapsed on the sofa, resting her head on Danny's lap and almost immediately fell asleep. "She didn't have a seizure did she?"
Danny had promised not to tell him exactly what happened, but that didn't stop him bending the truth. "It wasn't easy, there was a lot of talk about her Mum and a lot of questions for her to answer. She enjoyed it but I think she overestimated how much she could cope with. It was okay though, she did the right thing. Just tired now."
"Thank you for going with her. I don't know if I'd have been as useful," Dave replied.
"You're doing great, Clara's lucky to have you as a Dad," Danny smiled. Dave opened his mouth to argue. "Don't go there. You've moved on now, you both have. Talk of the past isn't going to help anyone right now."
"You are far too clever for 14. You both are, it's actually borderline scary," Dave commented. "I'll go stick the kettle on. Feel free to use the TV."
He stuck it on quietly and Clara continued to sleep for about 40 minutes, stirring quite suddenly and looking up. "You're still here," she sighed in relief.
Danny moved her hair out of her face, "I'm not going anywhere, bad dream?"
She pushed herself up and sat beside him, brushing her hair back behind her ears, "something like that. Where's Dad?"
"In his study, if you want to go and see him I'll put the kettle on for you?"
"You're perfect," she kissed him and stood up. "I won't be long."
Clara made her way up to him, knocking on the door to get his attention. Dave swivelled around on his chair and smiled, "you okay love?"
"Yeah I'm okay… can we go to Mum's grave tomorrow? With Danny? I thought maybe he could just be nearby. I just- I don't think I can support us both."
Standing up, Dave walked over to his daughter and pulled her in for a quick hug before making eye contact with her, "Clara you don't need to support us both anymore. That's my job, but I think having Danny there tomorrow is a very good idea love. We'll go in the morning and then go for lunch before he has to go back if that's okay?"
She smiled, hugging him again and thanking him. Her Dad was really thinking about her, it was hard not to slip back into old routines but she was trying, they both were. "Sounds perfect. Thank you Dad, I love you."
"Love you too darling. Do you need me to help with anything?"
"No we're okay, are you?"
"Yeah fine, just doing a few bits to help out at work where I can and thought I'd give you two some space," he explained.
"Alright, come down for dinner though yeah?"
Dave agreed and Clara went back down.
#-#-#-#
Sunday morning they went off, driving to the graveyard. Clara sat in the back of the car, leaning against Danny and taking regular deep breaths. He kept an arm around her, rubbing her arm softly and kissing her head occasionally. When they parked up everyone left the car. They walked across the graveyard which held an almost stereotypical feel about it thanks to a misty day and the cool November air. Clara pulled her cardigan around her a little more as they walked. Eventually they reached the point where they could see the grave and both Dave and Clara stopped. Danny moved round, letting go of Clara and standing in front of them. "You need to do this together, just the two of you. I'll be just here waiting if you need anything at all."
Clara nodded, taking her Dad's hand, "you ready?"
"Yeah, I really am," he squeezed her hand and they kept walking.
Danny stayed back, leaning against the wall they were stood by and watching as they reached Ellie's grave. His girlfriend and her Dad were stood together, arms around each other now, looking down to the grave stone. Clara placed the flowers and arranged them before going straight back to her father's side. They seemed to be stood in silence for a while, maybe 10 minutes, before Clara looked up and started asking her Dad something. He nodded, and now it appeared they had started talking to Ellie. Danny felt intrusive so he pulled out his phone and started playing a game to avoid watching them - this was their time now.
"I'm sorry it's taken us so long El, we- I haven't coped well. I let Clara down and I broke my promise to you," Clara went to stop him but Dave shook his head, "I did. I messed up, but we're getting better now. I got help, we both did, and we can finally be here together properly."
Clara smiled, "Dad's been amazing Mum. It wasn't easy for a while, I told you about that before, but now we're both doing good. Dad and Danny threw me a huge birthday party - you'd have loved it. And I finally caught up with Auntie Julie, Nana and Grandad too, it was so much fun."
"We've got a few weeks together now, we're going to make the most of it. Do all the things we used to do especially for you my love." Dave's voice broke at the end of the sentence and Clara could already feel the tears forming. She hugged into him and both gave into their emotions. It was the first real time they had cried like this together, it felt like they were finally being honest with each other. "You need Danny?"
"No Dad, I need you," Clara told him, reassuring him that he was doing well and going back to hugging him.
They stood like that for a few minutes until Clara started to shiver. "You're cold, come on let's go." Dave started to turn.
She stopped him, looking back at the grave, "I just need to say goodbye." Danny appeared now, shrugging his jacket off and putting it over her shoulders. "Now you'll be cold!"
"No arguments. Not much longer though," he kissed her temple and backed off again. Dave silently thanked him as he walked away and put an arm around Clara.
"We'll come back soon," Dave broke the silence, "we'll come regularly now, there's so much to tell you Ellie, so much."
Clara wiped her cheeks as more tears fell, "I don't want to leave. We've not been together in so long."
Dave knew what she meant, it was difficult to leave now they were here. "We'll come back, I promise," he told her. "But your Mum would have killed me for letting you stand here shivering for so long. Come on."
"Can I just have a moment?" she asked. Dave agreed and walked back to stand with Danny. Once she was alone she knelt down on the ground, "I miss you everyday. It was hard in the unit, I had to talk about what happened, but it helped in the end. Losing you was the hardest thing, getting through it was awful, but I feel like there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I love you so much Mummy." She felt Danny kneel beside her and put his arms around her. Clara leant into him as he carefully wiped her tears away.
"Come on love," he helped her up and they walked back to meet her Dad at the car. Danny helped her in, Clara was in a bit of a daze at the moment while she was considering everything.
When he shut the door Dave was waiting, "thank you for coming, I think it was important having both of us there for her."
"It's fine, don't beat yourself up about any of it - you've done great today. This will mean so much to her," Danny smiled.
"Sometimes I wonder how you two are only teenagers," he grinned. "Right, I know the perfect place for lunch."
They drove off about 10 minutes down the road where he parked up in the pub car park. Clara looked out the window, "we haven't been here in ages!" She looked round to Danny, "this was Mum's favourite place to eat. She'd always ask to eat here whenever we went out. It's the cutest little place with a log fire and amazing food. You'll love it, come on!" She jumped out of the car.
Clara wasn't wrong, the pub was lovely and their lunch was really tasty. They sat near the fire to warm up while they ate and chatted together. Once they'd finished eating they moved to the sofas with their drinks and stayed there for a little while, talking about memories from this place. Danny enjoyed hearing them talk, he learnt more about Clara as a child as well as about her Mum.
They'd been chatting for a little while when someone came over to them, "Dave is that you? And Clara! Oh look at you all grown up, you must be what? Thirteen now?"
"Lilly!" Clara stood up and hugged the woman, "fifteen on Friday, how are you?"
"Oh gosh you make me feel old, I'm fine love. How are you two doing?" She aimed the question at Dave.
Dave stood up now, walking over and greeting her. "Yeah not so bad, life goes on you know?"
"Doesn't it just. Can't believe your little one is fifteen now!" Lilly squeezed Clara slightly. "And who's over there looking mildly concerned for your welfare?" She nodded towards Danny.
Clara chuckled a little, going over and taking Danny's hand to take him over, "this is Danny."
"Ooo I like him, very good choice young miss Oswald," Lilly winked.
Danny cleared his throat a little, "right yes sorry! Danny this is Lilly, she and my Mum were best friends."
"A wonderful woman. You take after her in all the best ways," the woman smiled at her. "Listen I need to take off, but we absolutely need to catch up so-" she grabbed a napkin and a pen, writing down her number. "Give me a call."
"I will, it's good to see you," Clara smiled.
Dave added, "it was, definitely. We'll grab dinner."
They said their goodbyes and sat back down.
Time flew by and before they knew it Danny's parents arrived to pick him up. He'd text them earlier to meet them here, wanting to make the most of their time. "I gotta go," he whispered to Clara when he spotted them come in. She hugged him a little tighter. "I'll see you soon."
"It might be awhile," she sighed.
Danny rubbed her arm, "we'll call all the time, but make the most of the time with your Dad and Gran. We've got all the time in the world."
They stood up and went over, greeting his parents. "I'd better not be late back if I want them to ever set me free again," he grinned. "Look after yourself and be good," Danny winked before smiling and kissing her quickly. "Love you."
"Love you too," she almost whispered as they left. Her Dad appeared and took her hand.
"Let's get home, it's been a long day."
#-#-#-#
After two weeks being at home Clara was trying not to lose it. It was great spending time with her family and she wasn't complaining. Her Dad had spoilt her rotten and her Gran was being amazing, but they wanted to be around her all the time. She'd finally escaped up to her room when her Dad fell asleep in front of the TV and lay down on her bed to read the book they were studying in English. It was the quietest hour she'd had since returning home and the book was actually really interesting - it was nice to study something she hadn't read before. She was so into it that she didn't hear her Dad come in.
"Not Jane Austen?" he asked, making Clara jump. "Oh sorry, it must be good then."
"Yeah it's great, we're studying it in English - well they are, I'm reading it at home and writing an essay," she shrugged. "I haven't got round to any of this yet," Clara pointed to the pile of work sat on her desk.
Dave sat down on the edge of the bed. "You don't have to do it, they have said. I thought maybe we could go for a walk?"
"Dad I want to do this," she looked back down to the book.
"Well it might be nice to have a break-"
"I've had a break Dad, I've barely done any work in months and I've done nothing since I got home. I need a break from you! Not like, in a bad way, I just need a bit of me time," she explained. "Please Dad? I know you have things to do, I'm fine here - promise."
He relented, leaving her in her room. Clara lay down on the bed, continuing to read the book until she got around half way through and stopped, pulling out the essay information and starting to make some notes as ideas sprung to mind for topics and titles. She was considering writing 3 essays and picking the best one at the end at the rate her mind was working, but her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her phone.
Clara grabbed her phone from the side where it had been sat charging and answered it, immediately greeted by the sight and sound of Danny, Jess, Faye, Bobby and Paul all shouting hello at her. She chuckled, saying hi back and answering a few of their questions before everyone other than Danny left. "Sorry, they were all very keen."
"Nah that's okay, it's nice to see them. How are you doing?" she asked, putting the lid back on her pen.
Danny sat down, "not so bad, missing you though."
"Mmm I miss you too, even though we say that everyday," she smiled. "How's school been today?"
"The maths work is horrendous, Mr Prince is a taskmaster that's for sure. English is good though," he told her.
Clara picked up the book beside her and waved it at the camera, "read half of it this afternoon it's a great story. Trying to narrow down ideas for the essay."
"Only you would have multiple ideas," Danny chuckled. "You finally caught a break then?"
She moved to lie on her back, "finally. Dad fell asleep in front of the TV so I came up. He still tried to stop me after though," she rolled her eyes. "It's just nice to have some peace and focus on something."
"I miss your work ethic a lot," he replied.
Clara was always going to take that as a challenge, "alright then. Get that maths work you're complaining about and show me." Danny did as asked and pointed the camera so she could read through. "Oh yeah I've read about this, I'm just going to grab some paper hold on."
They worked through it together, Clara writing it all down so she could whizz through when it got sent to her. Time flew by and they got the work done just before Danny got interrupted telling him to hang up. "Gotta go, thanks for that you're a star. Take a break now yeah?"
"Of course. Speak tomorrow. Love you." Danny returned the statement and hung up. Clara put her phone down and smiled at the ceiling for a few moments, for the past hour she almost forgot she was ill and stuck at home. Suddenly, as she shut her eyes, she felt a barrage of memories flooding into her. She sat up in shock and suddenly realised that was everything. It felt like her mind had reset. Her chest felt a little tight at the overload of memories and she just about managed to stand up and get to her Dad who was thankfully in his study. She opened the door and immediately slid down the wall.
Dave ran over and knelt down in front of her, "what's happened?"
She grasped at her chest, trying to get air, "I remember everything," she just about managed to get out.
"It's a lot of information to process love," he pulled her close.
Clara sobbed into him, trying to catch her breath. "I don't know what to do."
"Just take deep breaths sweetie, I'm right here. Everything is okay, everything you're remembering happened in the past and we're not there anymore. Remember what they told you," he kept speaking to her. Somehow she eventually managed to remember the techniques Ian had taught her and she slowly relaxed. "Talk to me," her Dad spoke to her, now leaning against the wall with an arm around her and Clara leant against him.
Now her breathing had settled she finally was able to answer. "It happened so quickly. Danny and I were working on some maths stuff together and everything felt quite normal for the first time in ages. When he had to go I lay back and shut my eyes and suddenly everything just appeared inside my head. Flashed through my mind kinda like they show in the movies and then everything hurt…" she tried to explain. "So many random little images in my mind."
"Anything you need to talk about?" he asked.
Clara shook her head, "nothing major. Some childhood things, memories with Mum. Random school days and stuff. I already had all the big events I guess it's like the gaps around it."
He held her while she came to terms with it all, occasionally mentioning new things. Dave comforted her for a good hour while she cried, talked and stayed close to her Dad. "You're doing so well, my brave girl," he kissed her head. "I love you so much."
"I love you too Dad, so much," she sat up a little. "I need tea can we go get tea?"
"Absolutely. I'll put the kettle on so why don't you go and freshen up and meet me down there?" he helped her up and Clara nodded, going back through to the bathroom and washing her face over. She went through next and found where her phone had ended up to text Danny.
I remember everything, that was an intense few minutes x
She knew he wouldn't reply immediately so put her phone away and went down to be greeted with tea. "Thank you Dad," she took it and sat down. "That was… crazy."
"I can't even begin to imagine," he replied, "but you got through that without even going unconscious, that was really good."
"Yeah I guess it was," Clara smiled.
Dave joined her on the sofa. "Have you told Danny?"
Clara finished sipping at her tea before replying, vaguely nodding. "Text him, he's got football practice so he won't reply yet. I might text Jess and Faye now," she pulled out her phone and opened their group chat.
So my memories are all back… I remember all your secrets now ;) x
It didn't take long for their replies to come in.
J: What?! Like all of them?
F: Are you okay?
J: ^That's a better question.
Clara chuckled a little at her friend's reactions.
C: I'm fine now, Dad calmed me down. It was kinda crazy for a while but nah I'm good - plus I didn't collapse so that's grand.
F: That's great! You're coming on in leaps and bounds.
J: Yeah we're proud friends and all that but soppy stuff aside Danny looked really happy this afternoon after your call so you must have cheered him up.
C: He's not been happy?
F: Well he's not been himself I guess. Missing you, but we're looking after him! He just seemed different today. Any particular reason.
C: ;)
C: Gotta go x
J: That's not fair!
Faye: Clara Oswald!