The meal over, Kes was just kissing her wife goodbye when she sensed someone coming close to the house. She and Anara had sensed him getting closer, but hadn't realized he meant to come to this house. Their kiss broke and Kes and Anara's eyes met. Kes looked over Anara's shoulder to Miteza who'd started to clean things up after their meal. Anara had been planning to help her with that once Kes had gone since Kes and Artem had been the ones to make the stew. Artem was upstairs with Vastu in his room, Artem having wanted a little time with his cousin to further reassure and encourage him before they left to go find Thalla.

"There's someone coming." Kes told Miteza softly. "A man, but just one."

"...Who?" Miteza asked.

Kes shook her head. "It feels like I should... know him somehow..." Kes thought to herself. She and Anara looked into his mind. "He... wants to court you." She told Miteza.

"His name is Cagen." Anara put in as Miteza walked out of the kitchen area to join them. "Wasn't that the name of one of Jabin's men?" She asked. Jabin being the governor of the settlement they were in.

Miteza nodded. "He coordinates shipments to and from the mines." She supplied. "He's... His wife died of a sickness, I think. He wants to court me?" She asked, her thoughts and emotions confused. On the one hand, it would be a good match for her. Better than she would have expected, given the circumstances. On the other...

"He does." Anara confirmed.

Kes had turned and was looking at the door. Something was really bothering her, more than the situation should bother her, and she was searching herself for a reason why. The man didn't seem to be hostile at all, or at least he had no hostile intent at coming here. On the contrary, he seemed to have a hopeful, positive attitude about him. She could search deeper in his mind, but she didn't want to do that because she didn't want to know what she might find there. She wanted to think it was possible he could be just what he seemed on first impression, a genuine person with no malice in his heart, but, given the ways of Kazon males, how they were raised, and especially given the uneasy feeling she had about this man for some reason, she didn't want to risk looking only to find another mind like Lingen's. If it came to it, if he proved himself to be a threat, she would kill him to protect her family, but she didn't need to see into his mind to do that. Hopefully, it wouldn't have to come to that though. She very much didn't want it to.

The door chime sounded. Kes turned back to took to Miteza in question, then to Anara. "How should we handle this?" Kes asked softly.

"I..." Miteza put in. "I'll delay him. I... I'll ask him to come back another day." She offered, Kes reading from her that her indecision was clearing and she didn't want to marry another man who might treat her like Tulk had. A small part of Miteza hoped that Cagen would be kind, but she thought it was unlikely and didn't trust her judgment enough to take a risk like that.

"We'll hide then." Kes told her, feeling apprehensive about this still.

"If anything goes wrong, we'll be here for you." Anara told Miteza, briefly putting a hand on her shoulder in comfort and touching her hair a little.

Miteza nodded and tried to be brave.

Anara took Kes's hand and led her to a storage room that was nearby. They went in and closed the door behind them. -Something's wrong, isn't it?- Anara asked her, mind to mind. -Why does Cagen make you feel this way, I wonder?- She asked, touching Kes's hair and face in a markedly more intimate way than she'd touched Miteza moments before.

-...I think we're about to find out.- Kes replied as she closed her eyes and shared vision with Miteza, wanting to get a look at this man for herself.

She saw Miteza open the door, saw Cagen's face and felt fear, anger, and remembered trauma all at once. The same man. It was the same man. Kes reached out a hand, Miteza's hand, and turned Cagen's mind off with no gentleness whatsoever. Miteza staggered back and Kes lost her connection with her. She hadn't really meant to do that, had she? But she'd been scared. Miteza was her sister now too, not just Anara's, and, in any case, she wouldn't want to let this man near any woman at all, given the choice. Kes turned to Anara, but Anara was silent. Her mind... Kes looked into her wife's mind and fled from what she saw there.

Anara left the storage room. Kes blinked and tried to focus her thoughts on what to do next. Feeling disoriented suddenly, Kes knew she had to follow Anara, to keep her safe, to make sure Miteza was safe, that she hadn't hurt her by accident, channeling her power though her like she'd just done.

Kes emerged from the room and saw Anara advancing, Miteza looking as dazed as she herself felt. Cagen was on the ground, but he was getting up... He was getting up! He was groaning and holding his head and looking very confused. Anara had drawn a blade... Kes watched in mute thrall as Cagen and Anara's eyes met. Kes felt fury like she'd never felt before pour through her mental link with her wife. Anara's blade came up and struck down, stabbing Cagen in the belly.

Cagen tried to cry out, but Kes had enough presence of mind to strike him mute with her power before he could, knowing that it could be a death sentence for them otherwise. Cagen kicked at Anara's knee. Anara yelped in sharp pain and stumbled to the floor, her blade still buried in her enemy's belly. She grabbed up a second smaller blade that had been strapped to her ankle though, and, with a snarl on her lips, threw herself at Cagen. She grappled with him a few moments, but his strength failed him and she stabbed the knife into his eye. He tried to scream, but Kes stubbornly focused all her will on keeping him silent. She ignored everything else. She felt his pain, she couldn't stop herself from feeling it with what she was doing, and she sunk to the floor, not able to stay standing.

Anara pulled the knife from his eye and buried it in his throat next. He gurgled a few times, and Kes felt her wife's elation as her foe died beneath her. For what he'd done, Anara thought, felt to the deepest parts of her, there was nothing else but this she could have done to answer it. It was right. It was all that she ever could have done.

The sharp, stinging pain in her knee working to sober her now that the struggle was done, Anara groaned and looked out at the street before her. The woman from across the way was looking at her, at them, frozen in shock for now. Kes saw it through Anara's eyes and sent her thoughts out, forcing the woman to forget, to go back into her house and forget what she'd seen. The woman was across the street and had a stubborn, set mind, but Kes knew she had to do it, despite both those barriers. The woman couldn't tell what she'd seen and Kes absolutely refused to even consider the possibility of killing her to keep her quiet. She was past sick and tired of killing and death and she wanted no further part of it. Not ever again. She pressed and forced the woman's mind to bend, to forget. It was like walking against a strong desert wind under the hot sun, but, inch by inch, she pushed through, putting what extra effort she could into making sure she hurt the woman as little as possible.

Finally, something gave and the woman looked around as if she'd forgotten how she'd got where she was. She muttered something to herself about getting too old and went back inside, intent on finishing the laundry.

Kes sagged and collapsed to the floor. She felt the vibration of steps crossing the floor and vaguely felt the press of Anara's fear and worry and guilt. Kes wanted to tell her it was alright, that it was going to be alright, that she didn't blame her, that she understood, even though she hardly felt like she could understand anything at all at the moment, as tired as she was. She hurt, her whole body felt like it hurt somehow. She had to sleep, she thought blearily... and, so thinking, so it happened.

Kes dreamt of her wife, that she was her wife. That she wasn't herself at all anymore. She, Anara, got to her knees next to Kes and reached out for her, tears falling from her eyes. She looked at her hand though, saw she was still holding the bloody knife and tossed it aside, touching her wife's face hesitantly. "Zaraya...?" She asked softly. She was near panic. Kes was... gone, just gone... She sensed for her, and could tell she was there, inside her body... maybe even... inside both of their bodies? She wasn't there, but, at the same time, she was. Just... out of her reach somehow? But... Anara looked over at Miteza and saw her sister's thoughts as she was trying to drag Cagen inside and not making much headway. Unreasoning hate flashed over Anara's mind again, and satisfaction that she'd killed the object of her hate. She shook her head, feeling dazed all of the sudden, and looked down at Kes again. She took a breath and got up to go help her sister bring in the body. She had to. Kes wouldn't be safe unless she did, none of them would.

"Let me help." She offered.

Miteza looked up at her, fear flashing over her moment, but it quickly turned to... something else. Acceptance? Anara wasn't sure. She didn't have time to think though, she just helped Miteza get Cagen's body inside, Miteza hurrying to close the door once that was done. Anara sensed Miteza turn to see her son, armed, at the foot of the stairs, looking at them and Cagen with confusion and at her with wariness. To Artem's mind, women weren't supposed to fight and kill, especially not against men. Kes had been one thing, but to him, Kes was an alien, possibly a divine being of some kind, and that meant that normal convention didn't necessarily apply to her. He looked down at Kes, saw her vulnerable, and his mind skipped a beat again. He'd seen her as... something that was... invincible.

Anara closed her eyes and tried to center her thoughts, to not think and feel what her sister and nephew were thinking and feeling. It was harder than it had been, even though the outside thoughts weren't as strong a press against her as they had been before. Kes, Anara realized... Kes had been protecting her from this. How could she still be hearing their thoughts and feelings though? Kes... Had Kes given her some of the power she had, or was their connection still that strong even though her wife was so deeply unconscious? She didn't know. Couldn't know. She squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to stop, just to stop thinking about what and why and her sister or her nephew. Just Kes. She had to think about just Kes.

She breathed in and out, once, twice, three times, then opened her eyes and saw Miteza looking at her. The question was obvious, even though her sister didn't speak. Why had she just killed this man? Anara groaned once more at having gotten caught up in her sister's mind again. She couldn't waste time. She sent Miteza the answer, sent Artem the answer too, as she got back down on the floor and cradled Kes to her, starting to rock a little without entirely meaning to. She felt such a yawning absence in her mind. Kes was there, but she wasn't. There was no pain, no true absence, yet things weren't right at all. She wasn't right, and neither was Kes. It wasn't right for them to be apart like this, for Kes's thoughts and feelings to be so removed from her, to be so... out of reach. She felt somehow claustrophobic, closed in... A part of her wanted to push her mind back into Kes's mind, by force if she had to, but at the same time the idea was abhorrent to her, utterly impossible. She couldn't hurt Kes, it would destroy her to do that. It was impossible, as frustrating as it had been to have her eyesight become more and more blurred and indistinct by the day. She'd thought she'd never have to feel that way again after what Kes had done for her, but she was feeling it now. She was helpless... again.

As Anara was thinking these things, Miteza and Artem saw. They saw Kes on a man's bed on her back. They saw the man paying two other men for her, saw him carrying a struggling Kes back to his house, to his bed, saw him unzip his pants, saw what he wanted to do, heard his voice telling her things, felt Kes lash out and flee...

Anara had seen all of those things too, it had all been there when she'd seen Cagen's face through Miteza's eyes. The face of the man who had tried to rape her wife. She'd never experienced anger like that before. Never felt such a complete and all-consuming need for violence and murder before. It was relatively rare among the females of her kind, but she knew that a Kazon male could go into a deep rage in a similar way if his wife were ever threatened or violated by another man. No male could violate another male's wife, or even a male's husband (even as looked down upon on as male/male relationships often were among her people), that way without cost if it became known. If it happened, it wouldn't even be uncommon for a group of males to beat the guilty to death. The law of Two was sacred to all her race, and those who broke it were never shown mercy if their crimes were discovered. And it was sacred to her as well, Anara realized. Because she'd felt it. She felt it in a way she'd never understood it before. Felt the wrath of it from the depths of her soul, written indelibly into her blood and bones, and known it was right and essential to her every breath to kill the man who'd threatened and mistreated her wife. Even now, a part of her wanted badly to pick her knife back up desecrate his corpse, cut it apart and burn it unto ashes until the stain of him was gone entirely. It seemed anathema to her for even his corpse to be allowed continued existence.

She felt a growl rumble up from deep in her throat and she realized that she was rocking back and forth too much. She pinched her eyes closed and forced herself to breathe again. To think of Kes, and only of Kes. In and out, one breath, another breath.

"You stood well for her." Artem's voice broke through her focus. She looked up and saw him crouching in front of her. She saw his thoughts, couldn't think how to stop herself from seeing his thoughts. He respected her for what she'd done, greatly. She felt that from Miteza now too, now that they both knew why she'd acted as she had. Miteza was... proud of her. Proud that she was her sister, and inspired by her courage and strength of body and will. Anara smiled a little to herself, but felt guilt override her pride at knowing that she'd been reckless, so very reckless that Kes had been forced to push herself past her limits to protect them from what she'd done...

If she'd only lured Cagen inside, or... or even... even let Miteza send him on his way, then... The thought was lithesome. That he'd escape her. She searched herself and wasn't at all sure she'd ever be able to think as rationally as that if a similar situation ever occurred. In fact, just considering the possibility of it ever occurring again came very close to shutting down her rational mind all over again. She realized she was growling again and holding Kes too tightly against her body. She forced herself to relax her grip. She picked Kes up gently in her arms and carried her over to the sofa and set her down.

Rest. Anara realized. Kes needed rest. She could give that to her. She sat there on the floor next to her. Miteza and Artem were giving them space. Time. She was thankful for that. She tried to calm her still-racing blood. She was staring at Kes's sleeping face and it felt impossible to look away. She needed to help Miteza and Artem deal with the body. She needed to think about what to do next. She... needed... She touched Kes's hair, cupped her cheek gently. It was impossible. She'd... she'd never thought it could be possible to love someone like this. To... to love someone as much, even more than she loved her own children, but... she did. She loved the woman before her in an... an impossible way. It was like she was in a trance, just looking at Kes, touching her hair. She found herself smiling, just a small smile. Time just seemed to... fade away...

Then there was a hand on her shoulder and she blinked.

"Si... Sister?" Miteza asked softly.

Anara took a deep breath and forced her eyes closed. She sighed and turned away. "I'm here. I'm sorry." She told her, taking another deep breath and closing her eyes. She looked around the room and noticed that Artem was gone again. She sensed him and her son upstairs, Artem keeping Vastu occupied so he wouldn't come downstairs and see what had happened.

Anara met her sister's eyes and smiled a little hesitantly to her. "She's only sleeping. It took much from her to force Cagen not to scream and to force the woman across the way not to remember what she saw... I... I should have been more prudent." She admitted.

Miteza shook her head. "She is... She is your wife." Miteza told her softly. "Artem was right, you... You stood for her well."

Anara sighed. "Thank you... I just..." She shook her head again. "We need to make plans. We need to decide what to do with his body."

"The house has a storage seller?" Miteza offered.

Anara met her eyes again and nodded. "Agreed." The smell of him wouldn't become obvious for days that way.

It was quiet work, and awkward and frustrating to get the body down the small stairwell, but, between the two of them, they managed it well enough. The job done, Miteza sat against the cellar wall to catch her breath. She was gazing at Cagen's body and becoming lost in thought again. Anara noticed that her sister tended to do that a lot. She found it an endearing trait. She was daydreaming about what it would be like to have a wife. One like Kes, because it would have to be one like Kes. It couldn't be another Kazon, not with where they were going. She wondered if it would make her brave and bold and strong too. She wondered also what it would feel like, to bed another woman, to have a life with her. A simple life. A simple family. To... just be happy.

"I... I can show you, if you... if you'd want that?" Anara offered softly.

Miteza blinked out of her thoughts and looked over to her. Anara had sat down cross-legged on the floor across the body from her. "Show me what?" Miteza asked, curious.

"What it's like. To... to have a life with another woman. Even... what it's like to bed with her, if you want?" Anara explained.

Miteza blinked again. "I... but... How can you?" She asked. "I hadn't... You showed us before, didn't you? I hadn't thought. You shouldn't have been able to, Kes..." It was a testament to the stress they were both under that Miteza hadn't made this connection before now.

"I still share her power." Anara told her. "I don't know how exactly, but... I feel she's... She's still with me somehow, only... I can't reach her anymore. She... She just needs to rest I think..." Anara trailed off, trying not to think about it. She couldn't not think about it of course, but she was just managing not to go back to her. Just managing to stay here with Miteza and talk, when all she really wanted right now was to hold her wife.

They were both quiet for long moments. "Yes." Miteza finally said in a meek sort of voice.

"Yes to what?" Anara asked, wanting to be sure. She didn't know if it was the right thing to have offered what she'd offered, but she had offered it, and she wasn't going to go back on her word.

"All." Miteza answered, managing to meet her eyes again. "Show me all of what you offered. I want... I want to know." She told her, even though Anara could tell easily that she wasn't quite as sure of herself as she was trying to sound.

Anara nodded, getting up and going over to her sister, sitting next to her against the wall. "Give me your hand?" Anara asked gently.

Miteza did and Anara closed her eyes, letting time fall away. She remembered, and she let Miteza remember with her. She remembered Kes sharing a bed with her that first night they'd been together. Remembered touching her face for the first time. Remembered her voice, and how very beautiful it sounded when Kes spoke just to her. She remembered Kes's touch, her kindness, her strength... She remembered telling stories to their children, playing games, singing songs, having meals... missing her when she'd left, longing for her to return, laying with her in the sun... She remembered touching her, being touched... being claimed, and claiming her wife in return... Yearning, passion, need, love... sweat, caught breath, shivering with desire, feeling completion, feeling...

Anara blinked her eyes open groggily. She felt tired, so tired... They had only been memories, not real, not even shared with the person she most wanted to share them with. Kes felt so far away. She'd reached for her while she'd been remembering, Anara realized, but it hadn't worked, it had only further tired her out... She felt a weight against her shoulder. She turned and realized her sister had fallen asleep against her shoulder, a blissful smile on her lips. Anara sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, looking up at the gloomy ceiling above her. She felt... miserable. Tears fell down her cheeks and she wiped them away. She missed her wife, she missed her children... without Kes, she couldn't even pick up the vaguest sense of Lanam, as far away as she was, and that was an absence that was taking a lot out of her too... Lanam and Tresit were completely safe though, she told herself and tried to force herself to believe it unwaveringly. It only marginally eased her worries. To love, she'd long since bitterly learned, was the greatest joy, but could also bring you the most pain. It's what being a mother was, and, she knew now, it was also what being a wife was. She wanted that happy life back, the one she'd shown her sister just now. She wanted the life that was waiting for them across the desert and under the ground. She wanted this to be over.

...It couldn't be though, could it? Not yet. She was tired, weary, and Kes was more so and needed her rest. The men would be back from the mines before long. She and her family would never have enough time to flee before then, not unless Kes woke up very soon, and Anara knew somehow that that would not happen. She knew also that it wouldn't be safe to try to wake her either. Her wife needed time. Maybe they both needed time.

It wasn't even close to ideal, but, she decided, they'd just have to stay here in Miteza's home overnight. She could take Kes with her to one of the beds and try to reach her in dreams, try to help her heal that way... Would Cagen be missed though? He'd lived alone, but he was important. He had Jabin's favor. No, he'd be missed. Or he likely would be. But would anyone have known where he'd gone? Would anyone come looking for him? ...No, she decided. Probably not tonight. The next day, the next evening perhaps. If he'd told anyone what he was about, they'd assume he'd been successful and was spending time with Miteza, wooing her, or comforting her in her loss, which would have undoubtedly amounted to the same thing in his eyes. She found her eyes trained on the corpse again, those feelings of hate towards him coming back. She kept a reign on them though, with effort.

She turned away and deliberately relaxed against the wall, closing her eyes and breathing, in and out, in and out.

Her plan had another benefit. If Thalla kept to what she'd done before, she'd return here to sleep tonight and they'd be able to leave in the morning as soon as the men left for the mines once more and the city was again much emptied. Without Kes, and with her as tired as she was, searching for Thalla was out of the question. She didn't want to consider what might happen if she got too far away from Kes. Could the distance break their connection? It was already less than it had been with Kes in the state she was. And, even if the connection held, the distance would have to put strain on it... and Kes had been put under more than enough strain as it had been...

She sat there for long moments, not thinking, just feeling. Regret, longing, love, guilt...

How would Kes see her now? Would... would what she'd done change things between them? She... didn't want to think so, but... but she wanted to know. She wanted Kes to wake up and kiss her, touch her, gaze into her eyes, be with her and tell her that everything would be alright soon... That they were still all they had been, that she... that she still loved her as she had before...

Her thoughts growing more and more miserable, she was glad for the distraction when Miteza woke next to her. "...How was it for you?" Anara asked, hesitantly.

Miteza blinked and smiled to herself. "I had no idea..." She spoke softly.

"...No idea of what?" Anara asked gently.

"That... that love could be like that..." Miteza admitted. "When... I was a girl... When Tulk and I..." She closed her eyes. "I thought the world of him, do you know?" She spoke. "I wanted nothing but to have him for myself. It wasn't real... It was never real... It was such a bitter thing for me as I came to realize that truth. But what you and Kes have, I think maybe that's what I wanted back then. Even though I had no words for it. I... I don't know if I can be that to someone else... but I... want to be... At least I... want to be..."

Anara took her sister's hand. "I have faith." She told her.

"In the Eight, you mean?" Miteza asked. "I know you always..." Miteza trailed off. She knew Anara's faith in the old ways, in the Eight gods and goddesses, in the stories her mother had told her. She and Anara had talked about those things once, in the before. Before Tulk had shattered their family so...

"In the Eight, yes... but also in you." She told her with quiet sincerity.

She felt the warmth her words gave to her sister and Anara felt better.

"Come on." Anara said. "We shouldn't sit down here with the dead, not for a minute more." She told her, getting to her feet and offering her hand to her sister.

Miteza took the offered hand and got to her feet too.

to be continued

and I'm always happy to get comments (even really short ones)