Some people like fluff, some people like angst.

Yeah...

Hey, about the Tidus part of that chewing out a couple of chapters ago? Forgot to mention that that bit came from an 18th century philisoph...can't remember which one. Diderot? Maybe.

By the way, you can beat the chimeragast the way they did last chapter, but it's really boring. Can't even put the controller on memory in the config menu and hit X X X X cause Shield is a right-arrow-key thing.

Guess I'll also mention because a couple of people have asked, the other celestial weapons can talk, but they're not really very bright. They were all kind of cheap copies of Masamune. So they have a somewhat limited sort of consciousness, enough to accept or reject someone that tries to handle them, but they don't make a big deal about it and they don't choose their wielder like Masamune does. That sword is simply several cuts above them. When they have a wielder they can work up a "danger near" or "it's clobbering time" or something, but not much more sophisticated that that. Well, Wakka's weapon is always talking about blitzball strategy and current players and the standings and stuff, but I'm not sure that counts as intelligent conversation, especially when Wakka gets into shouting matches with it cause they both support different teams. I mean, if he got into shouting matches with it. Also, Lulu's Onion Knight might be an exception as far as intelligence goes. Sort of. Or maybe not. By the way, except for Masamune, anyone can use any weapon they're entitled to. So like, Rikku could use the Al Bhed celestial weapon or the Thief celestial weapon...either would accept her. But just because she might know a couple of black magic spells doesn't mean the Black Mage weapon would accept her. Might accept Kimahri.

By the way, you know I'm a guy, right? I mean, even if you haven't read my profile my essential guyness comes through, right?

Man, I have to go hit something.

Anyway. Major spoilers. Disclaimer: FFX isn't mine. Follows the story, but kind of AU. It's an Aurikku. (Didn't start that way.) This is about characters and the gradual building of a relationship. Uh...-T-...yeah...-T-...

And this chapter and the next one are dedicated to Glass Mermaid for all the nice reviews and helpful advice and support. Thanks.

Soldier of Spira

Rikku's Diary:

One word can change your entire life.

Yes.

No.

Hello.

Goodbye.

One single word.

Whose stupid idea was that?

One Word

Rikku's Diary:

We left the next morning headed for the mountain. I like seeing new stuff, new places. It keeps me young. But I think I'd be willing to pass up the mountain and Zanarkand if Yunie would only change her mind.

I've gotten to the point where I wake up every night for the midwatch just like he does. That's handy. Now I go to sleep with Yuna and Lulu in the tent, but I wake up in the middle of the night and I usually go out and join the man when he stands watch, and then we both go back to where he's sleeping and we lie down next to each other under his coat and sometimes we hold each other and other times we just hold hands, lying there.

That seems to be enough to keep the nightmares away for now.

So I was back to my old self, really, telling jokes and singing little songs to keep all our spirits up, and it worked, you know? I think I really did help keep everyone up and happy. I liked that. And I had all the new stuff from the zookeeper to play with. So I was okay. And if I ever got tired, and didn't feel like cheering people up, well, the man held me then too, and made me feel better.

And Auron?

I finally figured out how to cheer up Auron!

Hey grump," I said, walking next to him behind the others. "How's the handsomest grump on Spira today?"

"If you mean me, Rikku," he said calmly, "I'm fine."

No one said anything for a moment, and then I said, "Aaaaaaaaand?"

He sighed.

"And how are you, Rikku?" he said, and then he added, "Brave and smart and sweet. But I meant other than that."

HE LIKES TO FLIRT!

Well...he likes to flirt with ME.

So, um, anyway, so without chocobos it took us about a week to get past the gorge out to where the Guado stopped us that time. We only fought the same old fiends and we trained at noon and at night, and I guess we sort of got back into our old rhythm. Tidus said we were getting our game faces on. No one stopped us this time going over the bridges and we didn't go down into the valley below either, and pretty soon we came to the tunnel that the others said we had to go through. Auron and Kimahri were the only ones who had ever been through it before, but all of them knew about it.

We stopped and camped before we went in the next day and it was dark inside but not creepy like down in the cave and it was nighttime when we got out the other end, and we camped again.

Auron:

Kimahri is the quiet one.

Do I hear a chuckle? Does that sound odd coming from me? And yet Kimahri speaks only when necessary, and will not use two words where one will do. To guide these young people properly I must speak. And lately, with Rikku I think I have become a veritable chatterbox.

So the Ronso speaks much less even than I, and in recent days says even less than before. His words are rare as...as gambler's spirits. Yet the two of us have always communicated. Silent men find other ways to speak, and I always know if he is worried or suspicious. And now, he is moving about more than usual. He cannot seem to stay still for more than a few moments. That is unlike him, and tells me that he is uneasy. He is taking slow, deliberate breaths, which tells me he is trying to calm himself. He is constantly aware of his surroundings as usual, but I notice that no matter which way he faces, one feline ear is always cocked in the same direction.

Toward the mountain.

He is not happy to be returning.

What do I know? I know that ten years ago the Ronso Biran broke Kimahri's horn when Kimahri refused to acknowledge himself beaten. I know that Kimahri left the mountain in disgrace. And now...

And now he is forced to return. It cannot be easy for him. But he will say nothing.

Of course.

The Ronso was not the only one who was less than happy. The girl seemed down the night we left the tunnel. I understood. We were practically on the mountain now, on the last stage of a journey she never wanted to make. Neither had I, really. But I've been doing things that I don't particularly want to do for a long time. And it suddenly occurred to me that night after the tunnel that so has she. I do things because they need to be done. And so does she.

Every time I think that I can't respect her more than I already do, something proves me wrong.

She's...a good soldier.

And she holds me in the night and whispers not to be afraid.

And I think about her...often.

Could I actually be...falling in love...?

Rikku's Diary:

Hey, he tripped! Never saw that before.

Rikku's Diary:

"Stop."

So we just reached the base of the mountain when all of a sudden there are all these Ronso all around, including the old guy Ronso we last saw sentencing us all to death in Bevelle. Hey, SO not the guy I wanted to see.

So they're all, Stop, and we stop. I'm not sure about that plan. Now, it's not like I have a better one, but I'm not really the plans person, you know? That's Auron, and maybe Wakka. Of course we could try the Blow Past Them/Guts for Garters thing, but these guys aren't a couple of Guado, these guys are quite a few Ronso. So, maybe stopping really was for the best after all. I dunno. I glance at the man. At least he doesn't seem too worried.

Auron:

Tidus knows what to do and the girl won't hesitate if I act. Lulu and Wakka will be surprised but will instinctively move to protect Yuna. The Ronso I've suborned are in position and will give us an edge. (How does one subvert a Ronso? One arranges for a fayth to visit him for a chat. They put altogether too much faith in fayth.) In this situation Kimahri is a cipher but I think he will protect his summoner above all else. If I move fast, take down anything in my way, reach Kelk Ronso and threaten to terminate him the others will hesitate, giving Yuna enough time to recover and summon Bahamut.

I am moderately confident.

---Threat/Risk Assess---Yuna Death: 2---Death in Party: 5---Death Entire Party: .001---

And...

I think...

---Threat/Risk Assess---Rikku Death: 1.05---

Even less than Yuna. And it shouldn't be so important to me, and I shouldn't care so much, but it is and I do and I don't give a damn if I shouldn't.

I care.

In any case, I mainly let the others carry the argument as they try to reason with the Ronso and I keep the threat assessment current. It doesn't change significantly. In fact, as Lulu and Yuna talk with the Ronso the threat against Yuna and Rikku lessens. They seem to be getting through to them. Then it seems the crisis is past. Kimahri stands alone to one side as Lulu and Yuna are speaking to Kelk Ronso and the girl and the boy talk to the Ronso merchant nearby. (They don't know of course that the merchant is one of the Ronso that would have attacked his own if it had come to that. Our agents among the Ronso don't act for money. We have found other motivations for them.) It seems that all has been settled peacefully, but as we prepare to head up the mountain, I mentally inhale.

Hot copper.

Violence is near.

Ah. Kimahri's brothers seem to have slipped away.

Rikku's Diary:

Those two big muscle heads Biran and Yenke came down the path and got right in all of our faces when we started up the trail! And they said they wouldn't let us pass! Well, they said they wouldn't let Kimahri pass, and that's the same thing! Like we'd go anywhere and leave Kimahri behind.

Auron:

I don't watch their confrontation. I turn to look off toward the horizon while the Ronso refuse Kimahri the right to climb the sacred mountain.

I close my eye and listen to the voices. Not to the words, but to the tones. Most people wouldn't imagine that Ronso voices could be so expressive, but they are. And you can hear in the tones those things that they would never put into words.

Shame.

Shame for things done in the heat of youth. Shame covered over with old anger over old hurts, and hanging over everything else a desperate will to overcome. And to prove...something. Many somethings. No one will hold back in this fight. What lies between Kimahri and his brothers has gone too far for words and too far for any of them to walk away now. This has been ten years building. They all need this reckoning.

I know that this is my brother's to do. I know that he doesn't wish help or advice, but perhaps...a simple reminder...

Rikku's Diary:

Kimahri pushed past the kid and all of us. Auron was still standing quietly to the side not saying anything or even watching. His eye was closed. It was like he wasn't paying attention at all. But I was kinda close, and as Kimahri passed I thought I barely heard the man murmur, "Brother, speed kills."

I don't know if Kimahri heard him. The rest of us backed away and Kimahri and the two big Ronso squared off. The two didn't seem to have any weapons.

"Hey Kimahri!" I yelled to cheer him up, and I was jumping up and down and they were all looking at me, Tidus and Lulu and Yuna and Wakka, but I didn't care. "Hey, boy, you can do it, who are they? They're nobody! You're Kimahri and you're Ronso-riffic!"

And then I screamed as the one called Biran was just rushing Kimahri and he slammed into him and past him and Kimahri grunted as he was hit and he spun around a little, and next to me I heard a little growl from Tidus and he started forward, but Auron put out a hand. Auron had never moved, was still standing facing out over the edge with his eye closed, but he put out a hand and grabbed Tidus' arm and held him back, and after a moment the kid stopped trying to pull away and just stood there, then he shook off Auron's hand and he just stood there shaking a little and frowning as he watched the three Ronso.

Now Kimahri was kinda surrounded, and I saw him throw open his arms and throw back his head—he was using Lancet, and it was the big blond Ronso's turn to grunt, and some of his life energy was pulled to Kimahri! I'm not sure why Kimahri did that, though. Shouldn't he have cast some spells first, then used Lancet to get back some of his spell energy? But I didn't have time to think about it much cause the other Ronso, the one called Yenke, took a huge breath and then shot fire right into Kimahri's back! I heard Yuna give a little cry, almost a sob, and when I looked Tidus was holding her hand. We could all tell that Kimahri had taken a big hit there, but he ignored it, didn't even turn to face his opponent, and threw back his head and threw open his arms and used Lancet again.

That's how the battle went—they would breath fire or water at Kimahri, or sometimes just plow into him or cast lightning and all Kimahri would ever do is use Lancet, always on Biran. It healed some of the injury that he was taking, but not all of it and we could all see him getting more and more battered, and sometimes I looked at the other guys cause I just had to look away, so I could see that Wakka was sort of hunched over a little, his body moving and jerking with every attack. He wanted to be out there helping his friend. Lulu was standing quietly and watching, I couldn't tell anything from her face. She might have been some beautiful, cold statue or something. Tidus was tight-lipped, just his eyes moving, following them, and he was holding hard onto Yuna's hand. Yuna...Yuna's usually real calm, at least on the outside. You never see her upset or angry or frightened, but now you could see all of that as she watched Kimahri fight and she was holding onto Tidus' hand with both of hers and she flinched every time Kimahri was hurt and I think she would have rushed out to heal him once or twice if Tidus hadn't kept hold of her hand and held her back.

And Auron never moved, never looked, just stood a little way away facing out over the edge of the cliff with his one eye closed. I could hear the sounds of the fight behind me, the roar of the fire breath slamming into Kimahri, the insults the two of them threw at him, but I didn't turn back. I studied Auron instead. His face was just...calm. Didn't he care that his friend was in a fight, a fight that had to mean so much to him? I knew he had to care, but it didn't show. I heard bodies pound together behind me and cries of anger, but I didn't turn as I wondered why Auron doesn't show he cares.

Because Kimahri didn't want help.

And Auron wouldn't force it on him.

And I started to understand him and all he did just a little more. I understood that he'd let Kimahri and all the rest of us make our own decisions even if it ended up hurting us because...because he respected him, and because in the end being free to make our own mistakes was more important than not being hurt.

If we were all Auron's puppets...then he was the strangest puppeteer I've ever heard of, who wants his puppets to be free.

And I got a warm little feeling inside cause I knew that's why he'll let me love him in the end, even if it does mean I'll get hurt some day.

He'll let me make my own choices.

He'll trust me that way.

But even Auron, even Auron couldn't just let a friend walk into a fight without at least saying...

Speed kills.

I understood.

I turned back to the battle just in time to see Biran go down, and hear Yenke promise to make Kimahri pay, and then he cast Haste on himself, and breathed fire at Kimahri. And Kimahri used Lancet. He never used anything else the whole fight, and I understood it was because Lancet was his quickest attack. Speed kills. And so they kept fighting, Yenke hitting Kimahri with fire and water and sometimes his own body and Kimahri using Lancet over and over, but getting weaker and weaker. Soon he was leaning way over, barely able to stand up straight to use Lancet.

"Why doesn't he use a potion," I whispered as Yenke screamed and slammed into him again.

"Huh. Not his way, I guess," Wakka answered me.

"But, but Yenke's getting hurt too," I said. "Kimahri can win for sure if he just uses a potion! He's so close..."

"Yenke could use a potion, too," Tidus said. "But he won't. Neither did Biran. I think it's a Ronso thing."

"But I've seen Kimahri use potions!"

"Not in a challenge fight," Lulu said.

Now both of them could barely move and barely stand and they were both panting for breath. Even though he was under a haste spell, it still took Yenke a moment to take a deep breath and then he spat water. Kimahri was blasted back a few feet and almost lost his balance and Yuna gave a little cry and started towards him but Tidus held her back and she turned and buried her face in his shoulder. Kimahri looked half dead now. I don't know how he was still on his feet. And he slowly, slowly straightened up, and then he threw back his head and threw open his arms and used Lancet and Yenke shuddered and seemed to shrink a little, and he was trembling now, really shaking down on one knee, and gulping air and trying to catch his breath, and Kimahri looked a little healthier, but still a little dazed.

COM'ON, I thought. Kimahri! One more Lancet will finish him! They were both trying to pull themselves together. They both knew it was the end and they both knew nothing was settled yet. Kimahri tried to straighten up, Yenke was still trying to catch his breath and I saw him inhale, getting ready to breath fire. He drew in a deep breath, and then a hacking cough just shook him and he was all doubled over and Kimahri was almost steady on his feet but then a ball of fire hit him square in the chest and we all heard Yenke howl with triumph.

And for a moment we all thought...but then the flames cleared, and Kimahri was still there! His hair was wild and his skin was scorched and he couldn't seem to breathe right, but he was still standing, barely. And I saw the blank look of disbelief on the Ronso Yenke's face just before Kimahri's last Lancet hit him and he twisted and fell to the ground and then Yuna finally pulled herself out of Tidus's grasp and she was running over to Kimahri and falling to her knees alongside him and hugging him. And then they were all crowded around him, except the man and me. I looked over at Auron and I didn't look away, just kept looking and I knew he knew I was looking, closed eye or no. And after a minute he lifted his hand and I took it and he opened his eye and smiled a little facing out over the edge. Just a little. No one else would even have seen it behind his cowl, but I saw it in the corner of his eye. And then we joined the others congratulating Kimahri.

Auron:

The girl's hand in mine, I inhale. Bubble gum and kitchen smells. No, get past that. Faded perfume as we approach the others, and fresh sawdust, and ozone like the air after lightning strikes. And death. No, get past all of that. I smell...

I smell an old wound, healed.

I smell old hurts, let go.

I smell old shames, redeemed.

I smell brotherhood, renewed.

That's what I was looking for. Kimahri Ronso's old business on this mountain is finally done.

But inside, I frown. There's something else, too. Something underneath all of that. Something I know very well, but it's...

It's...

We're leaving now. The brothers have talked and the Ronso have gathered to honor Yuna and Kimahri, and we listen as they chant the hymn of the fayth, and then they are done, and it's time for us to go.

"Auron?" the girl said quietly as we started up the trail. "That's the death song you're humming, isn't it? Who...who are you singing it for? Isn't everyone okay?"

"I don't really know, Rikku," I answered, squeezing her hand. "It might be nothing."

And I didn't know. But I smelled...

Underneath all the scents of love and life and hate and courage and fear and shame and honor and greed and grief and faith and misery and joyful gratitude and humble acceptance and everything that goes into living and all of the scents that always make up the background of this new sense that I gained when I died, I also smell...something else. Something big. Something coming to the mountain.

Underneath all of it...there is a hot, copper smell.

Blood.

A river of blood.

Oceans of pain.

I don't know, but I think...I think Seymour is coming. And I think he has the Lance.

I planned for this.

But I didn't want it.

Rikku's Diary:

Ha! Sure, Kimahri got closure and honor and redemption and respect and all that good stuff, but I, uh, WE, got TWO return spheres. And I bought a sword and got Tidus to carry it for me. But I'll have to work on it later. Right now...

Auron:

I'm looking at the sphere in my hand, pondering the best way to bring it up to them when the boy came up to me with a worried look on his face as we halted for a moment on the trail.

"Uh, Auron?" he said. "Rikku, well, she's up on the ledge, and I don't think..."

BOOM!

I whip around in time to see rocks flying from a ledge above us. Tidus and I quickly find a way up and scramble frantically to the top. Relief washes through me as I see that Rikku isn't harmed. She's kneeling next to a hole in the side of the mountain, looking in. As we come closer I see...

She turns and smiles brightly at me.

"Hey Auron! Look, it's a chest!"

Rikku's Diary:

I've already checked it for traps so I throw open the lid.

"GIL! Thousands and thousands of gil! I'm rich, rich rich! GAH!"

Uh, hey, Auron's kind of, um, holding me, you know?

"What do you think you're doing!"

"Hey, Auron," the kid said, "I don't think she can answer with your hands around her neck like that. I never could."

The kid's joking. Auron's hands aren't around my neck, they're on my shoulders, and he's not, like, squeezing or shaking me or anything, he's just holding me by the shoulders and looking at me with a kinda death glare, and then he sighs and pulls me into a hug.

"Rikku," he says quietly into my ear, "What are you doing?"

Why so intense?

"Well, uh, I got another couple of maps from Marty...uh, okay, squeezing kinda tight now, spots in front of eyes, vision going black at the edges..."

"Sorry," he said, and loosened his hold.

"Hey, Auron," I said, putting my arms around him. "I mean, it looks like maybe 20000 gil here! That'll get Lulu off my back! Ha! So, so what's the matter?"

I really didn't see the problem.

I heard him sigh again, and he said, "Tidus, can you see what the trouble might be here?"

Having Tidus tell me how I goofed up? Okay, now that's just insulting.

"Uh," the kid said. "The Ronso?"

"Yes, Tidus," he said. "The Ronso. Rikku, this is a sacred mountain to the Ronso. If any of them find out what you've done they'll strip you naked and leave you for the fiends."

Auron:

Her smile wilted a bit and her eyes widened and she held me tighter.

"Oh, uh, um," she said nervously, "you won't let them do that, will you Auron?"

"No Rikku," I said, rubbing my eye. "Just...don't blow open any more bits of the Ronso's sacred mountain. Please?

"Okay, Auron. But...but then how do we get the treasure?"

I didn't throw her from the cliffs.

Perhaps I am in love.

Auron:

I agreed to consider how we might gain access to hidden treasure chests without outraging every Ronso on Gagazet, and we started up the mountain. We met no one on the path save for a solitary young Ronso on his way home from his age quest. I passed on certain letters to him, and he agreed to deliver them for me. They were last minute instructions for the network and the Luca Group. I didn't know when I might have any contact with them again.

Except...

I had always expected to lose contact with the outside world at this point and there had been a kind of relief in the thought that when we started up the mountain all the rest of it would be out of my hands, everything in Luca and Bevelle and Kilika and all of it. I wouldn't be able to touch any of it and no one could ask me for advice or instructions or permission. On the mountain all of that would fall away and I wouldn't have to think about any of it for a while, just concentrate on the pilgrimage.

But that was before I knew that Seymour was behind us. There were things I had to know, and so before we started up the mountain I left instructions for the network to get the information to me on the mountain any way they could, highest priority, whatever it takes.

So, perhaps some Ronso messenger might be able to reach us, or perhaps they'll find some other way. I don't know. Rin is a resourceful man and he has capable people working for him. Perhaps Maechen will pop up out of nowhere with the information I desperately need. In any case, I had done what I could. Either I would receive the information or I wouldn't and there was no use worrying about it. It was time to think of other things.

Like the sphere.

Rikku's Diary:

We started running into some stronger fiends than we had met before, like grenades and imps and grats and bandersnatches. Those looked like skolls but were faster and stronger. The kid usually took care of those with the man guarding. Auron said that the fiends got stronger the higher you went. And besides dream powders and hi potions and fire gems and things like that, sometimes I was stealing higher quality stuff like remedies and frag grenades. And there was a big, tough ogre-kinda thing called a bashura, with blue fur and four arms, and I got something weird from it.

Something new to play with!

But about the first thing we ran into on the mountain were more mechs, defenders and scouts both. Those weren't really a problem with Auron there to guard us, and I'd just run in quick and take care of them. In fact it was pretty useful cause we got a lot of Al Bhed potions out of them as the days went on.

"Hey Auron," I said after one fight. "Where'd all the mechs come from? What're they doing up here?"

He didn't say anything for a moment while I checked the junked mechs looked for anything useful. Then he said quiet so the others couldn't hear, "Rikku, have you been thinking about my offer?"

Well, yeah.

"Um, yeah, I have. Is, is this one of those secret things Auron?"

"Moderately secret, Rikku."

"And it's one of the things you'll tell me if I agree to work with you? Agree to go partners?"

"Yes, but..."

He hesitated. That's rare.

"What is it, Auron?"

"I'm...this is a little hard to explain, Rikku," he said as we all started up the mountain again. "It's just that...I don't want you to think that I'm keeping this a secret to try to tempt you. But, if I answered your question, that would tempt you, and I don't want to put any kind of pressure on you."

Auron:

"I don't' understand," she said, shaking her head.

"I know."

It's a hard thing to explain. But if I told her that the Church put the mechs here as part of their winnowing process then she would want to know where they got them. And if I told her they made a deal with the Al Bhed then she would want to know what kind of deal and why, and then we're talking about things I can't say yet, and her curiosity would be irresistible and she would be driven to accept my offer.

I don't want that. I want her to accept my offer of a limited partnership because it's what she wants.

Or...to reject it. If it's not what she wants.

"I can't really explain it any better, Rikku. Will you just trust me that it's better that you don't know for now?"

"Of course I will, Auron," she said quietly, and slipped her hand into mine.

Trust.

One little word.

But it means so much.

Rikku's Diary:

You know, I was really busy trying to cheer everyone up, singing little songs and telling funny jokes and tickling Kimahri (PSA: Never tickle a Ronso) and keeping them all up, you know, cause just smiling really does make you happier. Try it! But, well, then on the afternoon of the second day we started passing graves on the path and it started to depress me again. Man, maybe Pop's right about me and I'm just bipolar, but the graves really brought it home to me that we were back on the pilgrimage for real, and that if we didn't do something, I mean Tidus and me, then Yunie was gonna die. And I wish I could trust Auron to do something, and if he'd only SAY he's going to do something I would trust him, I'd trust him completely.

But he doesn't say that.

You know, sometimes when I put my arms around him in the dark, I whisper to him that everything's going to be all right, and that he doesn't have to be afraid because I know it'll be all right. But I don't know, really. I say it, and I believe it when I say it because I'm with him, but all the rest of the time I'm just getting more and more scared inside cause we're getting closer and closer and we're running out of time. But I'm holding it together, you know? I have to. For everyone.

I'm holding it together.

And I know that he's proud of me.

Auron:

Yuna stopped at each grave to say a little prayer. I know she must be thinking of those summoners who came so far only to fall here on this mountain. She can't help but feel a connection to them.

And who knows? Perhaps her prayers do comfort them a little.

The graves make us all a little somber, even the girl, but I trust that her natural optimism will eventually prevail, and in the meantime I will be here to give her comfort any time she needs it. We stop for a time at a memorial erected for the summoners and guardians who died here on the mountain, and we all make our remembrances in our own way.

I am a little apart from the others, where Lulu and Wakka and Yuna are praying. Tidus is watching silently, and the Ronso is standing with his head bowed. I know he will wait until the others are done, and then he will throw back his head and howl, honoring the courage of the fallen.

I think the girl feels out of place. She starts to drift over to me before she stops herself, and I look up and let her know that she is not unwelcome. She smiles a little and steps closer, but doesn't say anything for a moment, just listens by my side as I softly sing the death song for the summoner Mark.

"Wait, Yuna," I said as they prepared to leave.

Perhaps this is the right time.

They all looked at me.

"Do you remember the sphere pool in Macalania, Yuna?"

"OH. Um, y-yes, Sir Auron," she said, looking down and blushing.

"No, Yuna," I said with a slight smile behind my cowl. "I mean the first time we were there. We found a sphere record from Braska's pilgrimage."

"Oh, oh yes, of course."

Did they ever wonder why that sphere was there in that place? Jecht came to believe he would never see Tidus again, but he still had things to say to his son. So he made that sphere recording, saying the things he needed to, and he left it by that pool in Macalania never thinking that Tidus would come to Spira one day and actually see the recording.

"At the sphere pool in Macalania," I said, "Jecht left a message for Tidus, never knowing if he would ever see it. I think that he thought that he wouldn't. Braska also made recordings, for you, Yuna. He didn't know, but he hoped that you would see them. One of those was recorded here, on this mountain, as we were approaching the end of the pilgrimage."

Her eyes were wide as she listened to me, and her hand groped out until Tidus wordlessly took it.

"He gave it to me, to give to you, but I lost it when I came back down the mountain."

I removed a message sphere from my coat.

"The Ronso found it some time back, and they returned it to me."

They all looked down at the sphere I held out to Yuna.

Rikku's Diary:

Uncle Braska. He seemed like such a kind and gentle man. The sphere was message for Yuna, telling her to live her own life and make her own choices, to find her own way. I wonder...I wonder if she would have still been a summoner if she had seen this sphere a long time ago. When I looked at Yuna now you could see how bright her eyes were and how hard she was trying not to cry and how tight she was holding onto Tidus's hand. Lulu went over and gave her a hug, and then so did Wakka, and I saw Yuna look at Kimahri, but he didn't hug her, just nodded.

Uncle Braska loved her. He really did.

So, what do I tell her about her father? Look at her. She's thinking about him and how much he loved her, and does she have to know that he was an assassin! I still haven't decided, and I know that every day it's gonna be harder to tell her if that's what I decide to do, but...

I just don't know.

But at least I can talk to Auron about it. I'm not all alone with this secret. Like he's all alone with so many secrets.

Huh. Yuna's ready to go now, and they all start back up the mountain path, and I shake my head a little over everything that I have to think about, love and trust and secrets and life and death, and start after them, but Auron sort of catches my hand and holds me back without looking up.

"Auron?" I ask.

"Look, Rikku," he said. "Do you see?"

So I looked down at the ground where he was looking, but I didn't see anything but rocks and snow. And he bent his knees and crouched down, and so did I, and still holding my hand he reached down.

"Do you see the flowers, Rikku?"

I didn't, until my hand that he was holding actually brushed them, and then I could see. They were tiny, and white so they didn't stand out, and when I got down on my knees and looked closer I could see small little bits of pale, pale blue inside.

"Ohhhhhh..."

"They grow only on Mt Gagazet," he said, quietly. "When I...went...to Zanarkand, a few stray blossoms were caught up in my coat. I managed to get them to grow."

He looked over at me, where we crouched down next to each other, out knees touching.

"Does it surprise you, Rikku?" he asked me, "To know that I grew flowers?"

What a silly question.

"Of course it doesn't, Auron. Why would it?"

"No reason," he said. "I didn't think you would be surprised."

And I stood up too, and we both just stood there for a moment, looking down, and then we turned to follow the others.

I think I feel better.

Auron:

My eye narrowed a bit as I saw the three of them approached me on one of our rest breaks. Up here on the mountain we stop for short breaks more often. I'm wary of altitude sickness and don't want to press them too hard, too soon. When Yuna, Lulu, and Rikku all walked over to me with looks of determination on their faces, I tensed a bit, instinctively gearing for a fight. I wanted to check my sword, but that would be rude, and overreacting, I think.

"Sir Auron," Yuna said, "We would like to talk to you, about the aeons."

"Of course," I said.

We've been feeding spheres to Bahamut steadily, and the aeon has made progress, gradually becoming stronger, faster, and more powerful in magic.

"Hey Auron," Rikku said, "I've been looking through my materials notes and I think I've figured out, um..."

"You finally figured out the hypello potions?" I said without a smile.

"Hey! I had those figured out weeks ago! Meanie!"

"No, Sir Auron," Lulu said. "It's the soul springs that Rikku's been stealing from those bashura."

"Yes?"

"Well I've been looking them over," Rikku said, starting to bounce up and down on the balls of her feet, "And I think, I think..."

"We think we can use them to teach the aeons to use Lancet!" Yuna said breathlessly.

That was interesting. Lancet would give Bahamut some tactical flexibility, allowing it to partially heal itself and perhaps renew its magic energy.

"That could be useful," I acknowledged. "How many souls springs would you need to teach Bahamut Lancet?"

"I'm not sure yet, Auron," Rikku said. "More than we've got, but, um..."

Hm. So what is it that it will take all three of them to tell me?

"We want to give Lancet to Shiva, Sir Auron," Lulu said.

"I see. Reasoning?"

The black mage took a deep breath.

"Shiva is already strong in magic. If we teach the aeon Lancet, it will allow her to renew her magical energy as she needs. She can become our magic specialist and backup to Bahamut. We can teach her stronger spells."

"Shiva would still be power limited," I said.

"Yes," the mage answered, "But still useful, and if we ever did break her limit, she would be even more useful."

"So, what the three of you propose is that we teach Lancet to Shiva, and then to Bahamut, which is certainly reasonable, and I suppose to spend some spheres to build Shiva up?"

"Yeah, Auron!"

"Essentially, Sir Auron," Yuna said.

"Wakka thought it was a good idea," Lulu forced out through gritted teeth.

I nodded. It was a good idea. It wouldn't cost much and might in effect double our usable aeons.

"All right," I said. "We'll start concentrating on acquiring soul springs."

They all smiled and turned away.

"Rikku," I said softly.

She turned back to look at me.

"You're getting better at analyzing these rare items, Rikku."

"Heh heh," she said, looking down and digging a toe in the snow. "Practice, I guess."

"It's...impressive, Rikku. I just wanted you to know that."

She beamed.

Rikku's Diary:

SPIT!

THE LADY RIKKUS LOST!

Well they didn't lose, they tied. In the final game, but the Aeons won and so they beat the Lady Rikkus in the standings and so now I gotta pay off that STUPID bet with Wakka...

Oh man, this is gonna be so embarrassing.

So when we stop to rest at noon I slip off on my own hoping a fiend will find me and eat me before I find someplace, but I eventually come to a clearing. Stupid fiends.

Well, a bet's a bet, so I set up my little Al Bhed camera to take a couple of practice shots, and then I peel off my top and then my bra.

My, uh, my...nipples...kind of harden up in the cool breeze, but I guess that's okay, you know, considering.

Grrr! I can still remember Wakka laughing when we set up the bet. If the Lady Rikkus did better than the Aeons in our fantasy blitzball league then he'd have to go up and kiss Lulu on the lips—with tongue—and grab her rear end, in front of everyone. But if I lost...

"Huh, okay girl, but if YOU lose, then, uh, leesee, you gotta take a topless picture of yourself, and, hum, HA! I know! You gotta give it to someone, maybe anonymous, don't matter, but guess who!"

Yeah, guess who? Big meanie was trying to embarrass me. Huh. Shows what he knows. (He didn't know, did he?)

So here I am with a camera and my shirt off, and I feel kind of silly, really, because...well...he's gotta know by this time and after everything we've been through that all he probably has to do is say the word and he could see them for real. I mean, PROBABLY...maybe...

So, sure I feel a little lame, doing this, but a bet's a bet, you know? And, and, well, maybe it's a little exciting. I mean, I know I said I wasn't going to push cause I didn't want to scare him and all, but...but that all seems so long ago now, what with everything that's happened since. And maybe I wasn't sure I was ready, but when is anyone ever sure, you know? And, and he'll know that this was a bet and so I didn't really have any choice, but maybe, maybe this'll be something that, you know, starts something?

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.

Well...so anyway, I take half a dozen shots real quick and look over them. There's one where the camera musta got jiggled a little cause you can see the bottom half of my face, and I've got a nervous little smile on. There are others where my breasts look bigger, and one with me sorta turning three quarters that's really kinda hot. Everything's kinda curved and, uh...jutting...and in profile.

But I keep coming back to the shot with my smile. It's...I dunno, kind of innocent and sexy at the same time. You look at it and you just know I'm still a virgin. Of course you can see my blonde hair in that one, but honestly, he's gonna know it's me regardless right? I mean, who else? I guess Lulu might do something like this, but let's face it, he'll know those aren't Lulu's, and he better know they're not Yuna's!

So, this is the one I decide, nodding to myself, and I turn it over and scribble something on the back.

So. That's done, huh?

I guess I should be getting back. The others might already be ready to go. I should put on my bra and my tee and head back, but it's kinda nice here, really, with the breeze playing across my bare chest. And I stand there for just a few minutes leaning back with my back against a boulder and kind of arching into the breeze. And I close my eyes.

She stood bare-chested on the mountain, smiling and unashamed, her little nipples stiff and hard and tilted up. Her clothing was discarded somewhere on the trail behind her where she'd dropped it piece by piece. Behind her she heard a rock fall, and gravel crunching underfoot. She didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to share her solitary moment with anyone except...

She let her legs fold underneath her and slid down into the shadows behind the rocks. She was a thief, after all, good at hiding. She'd just wait until whoever it was went away. And if it was him...

A red-coated form walked out into the clearing and past her. She felt her breath catch and her pulse quicken as they always did around him. Silently from her hiding place, she watched his strong form slowly cross the clearing and drift to a stop, looking around. He had something in his hand, something green and lacey. It was her bra.

So he knew, and it looked like he was looking directly at her in spite of the deep shadows surrounding her. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stood up.

"Auron..."

"Rikku, are you all right?" he asked stepping closer.

"I'm fine, Auron. A bit cold I guess," she smiled, walking toward him. "It's just, I lost that stupid bet, the one with Wakka, and now I have to pay it off."

"Pay it off, how?" he growled as his eyebrows came down in a massive frown.

"Not like that," she laughed.

"Good," he said, his face clearing, and held out her bra for her to take.

"Well, maybe a little bit. I have to...heh...show my breasts to someone...eh heh heh heh..." she explained a little nervously.

"To who?" he asked slowly, still holding out the small piece of green cloth.

"To you, Auron," she said, and lowered her arms.

He stood there, not speaking. He was wearing his sunglasses high on his nose that day, and she couldn't tell if he was looking at her uncovered body or not. Then he reached up and took his glasses off. He looked into her eyes and her pretty little face, and then his gaze slid down.

"Rikku," he said, not looking up, "You're beautiful, and you have a beautiful body."

"Really, Auron?" she asked shyly, taking a step closer. "I know they're not as big as Lulu's..."

"No," he said, "They're not. They're small, and perfectly Rikku. They're beautiful because I know they're yours, because I know that if I reach out a hand and stroke one gently that you will feel it. You. Rikku."

"Auron," she breathed, crossing the last step between them, "Show me..."

"Rikku..." he whispered,

"Rikku!"

CRAP!

I drop down behind the stone.

"RIKKU!" I can hear them calling. "Where ARE you?"

Okay, okay, no time for the bra, I'm stuffing my arms into the tee and frantically doing up the buckles.

"YO! RIKKU! Where are you!"

What else, what else! Pictures! I grab the pictures up from the stone just as Tidus enters the clearing.

"Hey, Rikku! There you are! HEY GUYS," he calls. "I FOUND HER! SHE'S OVER HERE!"

"Tidus," I panted, leaping to snatch up my green bra and stuff it in my pocket. "What are you doing here?"

"We got worried about you when you didn't come back," Yuna said, joining us.

"Yes," Lulu put in as she and Wakka followed Yunie into the clearing. "Are you all right?"

"Right as rain, Lulu," I smiled brightly. "Just needed to get away for a bit."

Was Wakka smirking! I'll slap him!

I understand you wanting to be alone," Auron said, joining us. "But the fiends on Mt Gagazet are strong. It's dangerous to be on your own here."

"Oh all right!" I huffed. "From now on I'll stay with the group when I want to be alone!"

"That would be best," he answered with a perfectly straight face, and I had to smile. I remember the days when I didn't even think he had a sense of humor. How could I have ever thought that? So I let them all escort me back to camp, Auron and me walking last, and I sorta stumbled (it happens) and reached out and he grabbed my hand and held me up and them he let go and I stumbled again and after another couple of times he just kept hold of my hand all the way back to camp.

Hm. When the two of us first met back on the banks of the Moonflow, could I have imagined in a bazillion years that I'd ever be holding hands with Auron on Mt Gagazet, not wearing any bra, topless picture of myself in my pocket, wondering how to give them to him.

Heh.

Auron:

The girl seems very pleased with herself on the way back to camp. I look at her suspiciously from the corner of my eye. Then I close my eye for a moment and inhale. I smell...

My eye snaps open.

Oh no, Auron.

You didn't smell that. Not from her. Not from sweet, little Rikku.

No.

Rikku's Diary:

I'm sleeping next to him with the warm turned up high on his magic coat. Except that I'm not. Sleeping I mean. Cause, well, except for tapping him on the shoulder and just handing him the picture, the best I've been able to come up with is...

Auron:

I wake up of course. Deliberate movement feels different from the moves people make in their sleep. I don't let her see that I am aware. She takes something, a piece of paper perhaps, and lays it carefully on my chest, and then she slips quietly out from under the coat and back to Yuna's tent. She hasn't done that in a long time. Usually, she just wakes up beside me, and starts the day from there. I take the square from my chest and slip it into a pocket. It'll be daylight soon. Time enough then to see what this is all about.

Rikku's Diary:

Okay, now I can start to panic wondering how he'll react.

Auron:

Auron.

Auron!

What?

Stop looking at it!

Oh. Right.

Well?

What?

Stop. Looking. At. It!

Oh. Right.

I'm...

For a moment, I was...

Never mind.

What do I do with this? Whatever possessed the girl? I've turned the picture over in my hand now, and I notice writing on the back.

The Lady Rikkus lost.

Oh. The bet with Wakka. I'm going to do something seriously unpleasant to that man, conceivably involving his hair.

And in the meantime, what do I do with this? I don't want to just...throw it away. It isn't trash. No, can't just throw it away. I suppose, I could burn it, but...that just seems so...

Ungrateful.

I'll simply have to give it back to her. She's had her fun now.

Stop looking at it.

Rikku's Diary:

He wasn't saying much all through breakfast, and then when we walked for a while next to each other that morning. Well, huh. I guess I wasn't saying all that much either.

"So..." I said, breaking the silence.

His eye flickered toward me and then away again.

"So," I started again, looking down at our feet as we walked. "So...I, uh, I guess you got it..."

Boy, was my face red. I didn't expect that. I mean, this was Auron, you know? But, well...

"Yes, Rikku."

Huh. Okay, so...he got it.

He didn't say anything else. I sneaked a glance at his face, but it didn't show anything. I, uh, I had been expecting some sort of reaction, you know? Maybe I didn't expect him to hand me a picture of him shirtless, but something. And it was getting kind of awkward, and I had to break the silence

"And, um, so...whatdidyouthink?"

He didn't answer for a moment, and then he said, "It was...a surprise."

Auron:

She suddenly looked a bit crestfallen under her bright smile, and her face grew even redder.

Rikku's Diary:

"Of course I...I liked...it," he said, scowling and looking away. "Don't be an idiot."

And I just smiled all over my face when he said that! Hey, he can make me that happy by calling me an idiot. Does that, like, mean anything? Ha.

So, he said of course he liked it (was his face red?) and don't be an idiot, Rikku, "But that doesn't make it right," he said. "I know you lost your bet, Rikku, and well, all right. Now you've paid it off and I think you'd better have this back."

And he held out, I guess the picture, to me folded up in a sheet of paper. I shook my head and put my hands behind my back.

"I can't do that, Auron. I lost fair and square."

"I'm sorry you lost your bet, Rikku," he said, and I glanced up at him. "But—"

"Really?" I asked. "Are you really sorry?"

"Rikku," he sighed, shaking his head.

"It's a gift, Auron. You can't give it back, OR throw it away. I don't guess you hafta look at it," I smiled at him, "But you gotta keep it."

"It's a bet, not a gift," he said. "Or stakes in a bet."

"It's something from me to you, Auron. And if I ask to see it sometime and you can't show it to me, I guess I'll have to start leaving other pictures out to replace it. Gee," I said, "I hope no one else finds them."

"Rikku..." he started, and then stopped, trying to think of something to say.

Ha! He's beaten.

I walked along beside him, smiling and feeling pretty good. This all turned out pretty well. Maybe I should give Wakka a little thank you kiss. In front of Lulu. My thoughts turned back to Auron. Maybe...maybe I could flash him! Just one day lift up my shirt and show him what I've got while the others aren't looking. The others would be around, but they'd be looking somewhere else. Course, I couldn't be wearing a bra.

Maybe I should stop wearing a bra.

Something to think about. I would kinda miss the pushup bra, but I only started wearing it to get Auron to notice my body. Mission accomplished on that one! Let's see, I mused. How would it go?

They were just getting on their way again after fighting some fiends. The girl had been slightly hurt so he sent Tidus ahead to scout while she stayed behind to use a potion. He stayed back as rear guard as usual. When she was cleaned up the two set out after he others, who were only a dozen yards ahead. The girl was little fidgety. The potion had healed her wounds but it still itched. She undid the clasps on one side of her tee to scratch.

"Rikku?" the man said.

She looked up and saw his gaze quickly flicker away from her exposed skin. Her eyes widened and without even thinking her fingers started fumbling at the remaining clasps.

"Rikku!" the man said again.

"Shh, Auron," she answered. "Don't let the others hear!"

And she pulled off the tee, revealing that she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"Rikku," he quietly choked, "Put on your shirt!"

"Why?" she asked, rubbing one hand across her exposed belly.

"Why!" he whispered furiously, not able to look away, watching as her nipples began to harden. "Do you want them to see!"

The others were walking only a few yards ahead. All any of them had to do was turn and they would see Rikku's bare chest.

"Kiss me!" she said.

"What!"

"I'll put on my shirt if you kiss me!"

"Rikku!"

"Better hurry. They could turn at any time. And I think I feel a song coming on!"

"Dammit, Rikku!"

"Okay, so here's the Row Row Ronso song! And a-one, and a-two..."

"Aggh!" he whispered, and lowered his head to give her a peck in the vicinity of the lips.

"You call that a kiss!" she whispered furiously.

"It's all you're gonna get!"

"Right! Here go the pants!"

"Agghh! Dammit!" seething, he reached down and pinned her by the arms, lifting her until he could mash his lips against hers. Helpless in his grip she kissed him hungrily back.

And then Wakka was calling us and we had to go fight some fiends. Oh yeah, I thought as the two of us rushed forward. This has possibilities.

Rikku's Diary:

"Auron?" I said that night when the others had all gone to bed, "Auron, I've decided."

"Unh?"

His eyes snapped up to my face.

"I'm...I'm taking you up on your offer, Auron. I know you can't share everything, but I want to know whatever you can share, and we can talk and bounce ideas off each other like you said. That's what I want."

"Hm," he said. "All right, good, Rikku. We'll start in the morning."

I thought he'd sound a little happier. He just sounded distracted.

"Auron," I said, "What's the matter?"

"Rikku," he began, and then he sighed. "Rikku, at night you come out here and ask me to hold you because you're afraid, and I do."

"Uh huh, that's right, Auron," I nodded.

"Well..." he said, then stopped.

"What, Auron?"

"How can I hold you now, Rikku? Now that..." his eye slipped down to my chest again, just for a second. He shook his head. "Rikku, I don't think we can-"

"STOP! You just stop right there Auron! Don't you say it! Don't you even try!"

He stopped, and we looked at each other. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed after all. I mean with the picture and all that. This is just what I was afraid of, you know, that I'd push and he'd pull away, but this, right now, this was so silly that I wasn't worried. All I really felt was tired, because I knew he wouldn't really pull away, not like after we had that fight. He didn't even want to, really. He just had to have this talk first, so he could say the things he had to say and I could say what he had to hear so he could go on fooling himself that there wasn't really anything going on between us. And once he'd convinced himself of that, then we'd be fine again.

So okay. So we'd have this talk. But frankly I was getting a little tired of holding his hand like this while he lived in denial. Who was the grown up here anyway? Is he really worth it, Rikku?

I smiled to myself and shook my head and sighed. Next stupid question?

Okay.

"Auron, I'm still scared. You have to hold me. And, uh, they were always there, you know. You even," I blushed a little, "You even felt them a little, sometimes in your sleep."

"What," he said, kinda stunned, like.

"I guess you never noticed," I said, looking down. "But I did."

"Why didn't you say something, Rikku?"

"I dunno. It wasn't a big deal."

"Rikku!"

"I was AFRAID, Auron!"

He looked at me kinda strange. Guess I can't blame him.

"Afraid...of what, Rikku?"

"Afraid you'd get all weirded out and stop holding me and hanging around with me and being my friend LIKE YOU DID BEFORE!" I yelled. Sorta. I yelled it quiet, like.

He didn't say anything, and after a minute I added softly, "And besides, I kinda liked it."

He just looked at me. I took a deep breath.

"And we're not going to lose each other now and you know it, Auron! Not now, not after all that we've been through, just because you're a little uncomfortable. Are we Auron?" I asked.

And I knew what he would say.

"No, Rikku. Of course we're not. I...was being stupid."

"It's okay, Auron," I smiled.

I moved over so I could lean back against him.

"Man," I said. "You give a guy one topless photo of yourself and he just goes all stoopid."

"Next time you give a man a topless photo, you'll know," he said, and I slapped his arm. He chuckled weakly.

And I knew it was the right time.

"Hey, Auron?" I said, turning to look at him. "I've got another present for you, Auron!"

I see his eye go wide and slide down my body, lingering a minute on my shorts and he starts inching away! Oh man, he's panicking!

"Auron! AURON! I'm NOT gonna take off my clothes! It's a different gift!"

"Oh, ah..." he said, settling down again. "All right, Rikku."

"Wait! Wait here" I said, and got up and ran off to the tent I share with Yuna and Lulu. I got back a minute later dragging a big bag behind me.

"Here it is, Auron!" I puffed. "Go ahead, open it!"

He sort of squinted his eye at me, just like he doesn't trust me! And then he opened the bag.

"Rikku," he breathed.

"Do you like it Auron?" I said as he pulled it out. "It's a new sword! I made it for you."

"But Rikku," he said quietly, "You already made me a wonderful sword."

"This one's better, Auron. I used our last teleport sphere, but also one of the return spheres. And this sword has that little extra bit of speed that'll let you move before any of the fiends. Auron," I said, "It's a better sword."

He looked at me a moment in the dim firelight, and then he looked at the sword, and then he looked up at all the stars we could see in the mountain sky, and then Auron stood up and held out the sword in his hands and right then and there he started moving through the forms of his exercises. I watched with wide eyes because I had never been this close before, and I was looking almost straight up at him as he moved. He was slow at first and then faster as he swung the sword, he was spinning in front of me and twisting and dancing in the dark and I could feel the blade cutting the air, never very close, always controlled and powerful and deadly.

I sat at his feet while he moved in the sky forms and I closed my eyes and just felt it and after a while it almost seemed like I became a part of them, like I moved with him and we were dancing again, the way we did in Macalania, and it was Auron and me and the sword all together, steel and hard muscle and soft skin, turning around each other and breathing each other's names. He moved like smoke in the wind and I never knew what he would do next but I didn't have to. I was part of it.

I felt his perfect strength surround me and I let my love flow out and touch him and wrap around him and he moved without stopping and I could feel his happiness flowing back to touch me too and he moved even faster, spinning and cutting, protecting me from invisible enemies and keeping me safe forever. He never slipped and he never stopped and he never, ever, slowed. And then he was done and he was standing still and straight in front of me and he wasn't even breathing hard.

He looked at me for a long moment, and then he said, "Rikku of the Al Bhed, you give me a sword that makes me a dancer. You give me hope for better days. You take me in your arms and tell me not to be afraid. No one has ever given me greater gifts than you, Rikku. And I thank you."

He hesitated then, and shook his head, and then went on.

"And all I have to give you in return, Rikku..."

He reached into his coat, and then held out his hand, but slowly, like he wasn't sure.

Small.

And white.

With tiny flecks of blue inside.

I didn't want to speak. I'm not sure could have, but I didn't want to anyway. And I just nodded to him and took the flowers and just held them. And I didn't try to kiss him, because I just didn't want this to be one more time when I tried and he wouldn't let me. And I didn't need it anyway.

This was fine. This was just fine the way it was.

And I slipped one flower into my hair behind my ear and held one in my hand and slipped the rest into my pocket. I think I'm going to braid them into my hair so he'll see them whenever he looks at me. I always get a happy, hiccupy feeling when he looks at me.

And then I smiled as I slipped off my shoes and socks and then we both lay down together under his coat and under the stars, all the stars in the sky, and I hadn't seen so many since the days when we were alone back on the mountain, and he put his arms around me so I wouldn't be afraid and I put my arms around him so he wouldn't be afraid either, and I whispered, "Good night, Auron."

And he answered, "Good night, Rikku."

Auron:

Could I truly love this young girl?

Auron...?

I lay there a long time, looking up at the stars and listening to her breathe beside me before going to sleep that night.

Rikku's Diary:

Sometimes I dream that we kiss.

There isn't...it's not elaborate. There's never a story, or a plot. It's just me in his arms, holding him, and the hard feel of him and the wonderful willow tree smell of him, me twisting with him and our lips moving and wanting and tasting and taking, warm and hot and cold all at once, and I feel his hands on me, strong and gentle and hard and my fingers are twisted in his hair and I'm drowning in his smell and then I open my eyes and this time...it's not a dream...it's not!

It's HIM and ME for REAL and his lips are on my FACE, all over my FACE searching and then they find me and we KISS, we finally KISS, and it was FIRE and ICE and DREAMS, and it was SWEATYand DIRTY and REAL, and he's inside my MOUTH and I'm inside HIS and his ARMS are around me and his HANDS, his powerful HANDS are GRASPING and CLUTCHING my BACK, opening and closing and lifting my SHIRT and I wasn't THINKING and I didn't want to THINK, I just wanted HIM and he wanted ME and suddenly there was a FIRE inside me just BURNING and RAGING inside me and GOD I never knew it could be like THIS and my hands are on his CHEST and sliding down his hard body and then they're at my waist and slipping under my shorts and shoving them down over the flare of my hips and I'm arching into him and my breath is coming hard and I'm panting and calling his name...

"...Auron...oh...oh...AURON...!"

...and I hear him...

...I hear him murmur softly...

"...Willa..."

Next: Tilt