Lethargically, Dís stared at the door when someone knocked on it. She glanced at Kíli, hoping he would open the door, but he was sleeping on the couch. Her legs felt like they were made of jelly and she was sure she couldn't even take two steps.

"Go away," she whispered.

The words were way too soft to reach the door.

"Dís, open up!"

It was Thorin and he was clearly annoyed. That wasn't exactly a rare phenomenon the past days, his visits giving her less and less joy. He didn't understand her. He didn't feel that horrible pain torturing her with every move she made. He didn't feel that inevitable, downward pressure that was always threatening to crush her.

"I'm leaving!" he yelled. "So if you want to say goodbye to me, you better open that door!"

These sudden words startled her. Where would he go? Was he abandoning her? Suddenly she felt so much fear that it filled her with new strength so she could shuffle to the door, opening it.

"You... You don't mean that, right?" she stammered with wide, dismayed eyes.

"I do, I'm going to find father."

She shook her head, tears jumping in her eyes. "You're leaving Kíli and me behind? We need you!"

"You do? Didn't feel that way, the past weeks," he grumbled. "All you do, is sit in your room. You don't let anyone in anymore. Well, you can just keep sitting there until I come back."

Dís didn't know how to respond. Of course she wanted her father to be found, but deep inside she knew that he was dead, like everyone she'd ever cared about was dead.

"He's gone," she muttered. "He's dead, Thorin."

"You don't know that. He might just as well be wandering around, looking for other dwarfs. Maybe he's wounded, waiting for help."

"He disappeared one and a half year ago, Thorin," she answered, shaking her head. "If he had been wounded, he's dead now."

"Rubbish."

Dís didn't know what to say. She didn't want to say goodbye. She didn't want anyone else to walk out of her life. The world was a dangerous place and she didn't expect to see him back.

Hesitantly she looked at him. Thorin stepped forward, taking her face between his hands. "Pull yourself together, Dís. Be the mother Kíli needs, for your sadness is his cage. Find your way among the elves like I did and before you know it, I'll be back. With father." He pushed his forehead against hers. "I love you, my dear sister, and I'm not abandoning you. The elves will take care of you. Nothing will happen to you, nor to me. Elladan will join me; we will return."

A lump appeared in her throat. Her eyes were itching, but she seemed to be ran out of tears.

"I don't want you to leave," she whispered. "I can't do this without you."

"You can, Dís. You're a daughter of Durin. Never forget that." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and turned around.

Dís saw that Elladan was waiting in the shadows, flanked by Arwen and Elrohir; his father standing behind him. Quickly she dropped her eyes as she realized how unkempt she looked, with her unwashed and uncombed hair. She had seen neither of them for a long time. Arwen had paid her a lot of visits, but in the end Dís had asked her to stay away. Since that moment Elrohir hadn't shown himself either and Lord Elrond... he hadn't kept his promise and even though Fíli had never been his responsibility, it had been the perfect excuse to avoid the elf king.

He had brought her home, instead of Fíli. He could have saved her boy if he had granted her wishes, however he had ignored her longings and they both had to pay the price for it now.