Title: Made to be Broken 36 – Ignition
Author: Jo. R (driftingatdusk)
Rating: FR-18 at most.
Pairing: Abby/Gibbs
Category: Post-Ep, Romance, Angst
Spoilers: Ignition
Summary: Some rules are made to be broken.
AN: The beginning of the M. Allison Hart story arc – we all knew it was coming but still, we don't have to like it. Don't be too disillusioned by what happens in this installment – I've got a mini-arc of my own planned to take us through the next couple of episodes.
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The drive home was fraught with tension. Abby Sciuto couldn't figure it out; she felt like she was the one in the wrong when, if what Tony and the others had said was true, she was the wronged party.
Not that she believed them, or at least she really didn't want to.
What woman would want to believe that her lover, her partner for over a year, was romantically and physically attracted to another woman and had made no attempt at hiding it?
She clasped her hands in her lap, watching him out of the corner of her eye. His jaw was tense, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. His shoulders were squared and his back all-too straight in his chair.
He hadn't spoken a word to her since meeting her in the parking lot and even then, he'd just said – for the benefit of his agents, she was sure – that he'd drive her home since he'd picked her up that morning. It was their standard excuse for arriving and leaving together, one that was so well used that no one questioned it anymore.
When they pulled up outside of his house, the building that had become their home, Abby wasn't sure she wanted to get out.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs took the decision out of her hands by walking around to her side, opening her door for her. He made no attempt at touching her, though, not even a hand to the small of her back to lead her up to the house, which was unusual when they were alone.
Usually, they were a tactile couple when there was no one else around. Usually, he couldn't stop himself from touching her in even the smallest of ways and vice-versa.
Abby managed to hold herself together until they were inside the house with the door closed securely behind them. Then he pulled her close, holding her against him, and the dam broke.
"What's going on, Gibbs? You're scaring me." Her words were muffled against his chest and her arms wound around him tightly.
"I know," he murmured, squeezing her before stepping back. "I'm sorry." He kissed her forehead before lowering his lips to hers, his mouth moving against hers in a hot, hungry kiss. "You've gotta believe me, Abs, I don't want to do this."
"You don't want to do what?" Abby pulled back, her throat aching with tears she refused to shed. "What's going on, Gibbs? Please, just tell me."
Instead of telling her, he took her by the hand and led her into the living room. He ushered her onto the couch before leaving her to close the curtains over the windows, something he didn't usually do unless they planned to spend an intimate hour or two by the fire.
Abby didn't think that was going to happen. She clasped her hands together once more, watching him as he moved to sit on the coffee table in front of her, pulling an envelope out of his pocket and handing it to her wordlessly.
Her fingers trembling, she opened it and slid out the photographs that had been put inside. Flicking through them, her face paled.
There was one of them dancing at the restaurant he'd taken her to, the one that had reminded her of New Orleans. There was one of them embracing at the airport after her return from LA, wrapped around each other as though the rest of the world didn't exist. There was one of her laughing as she walked backwards into the house, pulling her with him by his tie. There was one of the two of them at the children's shelter they'd spent Christmas Day at, kissing under the mistletoe she'd been sure Jackson Gibbs had arranged to have hanging over their heads.
"What...?" Her voice failed her and she cleared her throat before trying again. "Who took these?"
Gibbs shook his head. "I don't know, Abs. I have my suspicions but..." He ran a hand through his hair, his blue eyes locking on hers. "The woman Tony's told you about, the lawyer."
"Ms. Hart with icy blue eyes a man could drown in," Abby intoned flatly. "The one you were flirting with."
He didn't deny it but an apologetic look flittered over his features. "She's been hired by Merton Bell, Abby. The guy who was behind the attempted hit on Franks and his family."
"The Colonel. He was released from prison in Mexico." She arched an eyebrow at the vague surprise on his face. "McGee told me. You think he's behind this...?"
"I'm pretty sure he is." He watched her carefully, studying her reaction to what he was about to say. "I think he's going to try and get back at me, Abs, and I think he's going to use you and the team to do it. Ms. Hart. She knows a lot about all of us, more than any average person should or would. She's working for him but I don't know what they're planning. Not yet."
"And by flirting with her, getting close to her, you think you'll find out?" It hurt her to say it, to picture him getting cosy with another woman. Her heart ached in her chest but she had a sinking feeling that the worst was yet to come. "So where does that leave us? If she's behind the photos, if she knows we're together, she won't believe... Oh."
The photographs fell unnoticed to the floor. Abby's cheeks paled even more, her hands trembling.
"This isn't over." He moved to sit beside her, drawing her against him. "I swear to you, Abs, this isn't over between us."
It would hurt him just as much, Abby knew. Though knowing that didn't ease the pain that accompanied the thought of him with someone else. "So what are we going to do? What... Am I not allowed to see you outside of work anymore?"
His arm tightened around her. Gibbs pressed his lips to the top of her head. "For now, no. Maybe in a few weeks, once things have calmed down, we can find a way to see each other," he decided, the thought of not being able to see her on a personal level making something inside of him twist unpleasantly. "We'll just have to be more careful about it. Not go out in public."
"And I should move back into my apartment," Abby said quietly, knowing he wouldn't want to have to be the one to voice the thought. "If they get evidence that we're living together..."
"I don't want you to go." His voice was a whisper, barely restrained anger and regret mingling to make it hoarser than normal. "I want to keep you here, safe, where I can protect you."
"But you can't. Not now." She lifted her head and moved away. She saw the hurt on his face before he could cover it but before he could say anything, she straddled his lap, leaning down to kiss him desperately.
They lost themselves in each other quickly, frantically stripping each other of their clothes.
Once they were both naked, she settled herself on his lap once more, guiding him into her with an unsteady hand. She held his eyes as she rocked her hips, determined to memorise everything, determined to cherish every second till the last.
His hands explored her body, supporting her back as he lowered his mouth to her breasts. He kissed her, treasured her, took his fill and more while she was still his to savour. When she dragged his head back up to hers, he could see there were tears shimmering in her eyes, tears she was trying in vain not to let fall.
She kissed him desperately, urgently. Needing the contact, needing the reassurance that they were still meant to be together, that what they were was right even if there were some who were determined to take it away from them.
She tangled her fingers with his and increased the pace, driving them both closer to and eventually over the edge. She broke with a cry and he followed not long after, cradling her body against his as she let her head fall to his shoulder as her body trembled.
"This isn't goodbye," he told her softly, stroking her hair back from her face when she lifted her head to look at him. "We'll still see each other every day."
Abby nodded, not trusting her voice enough to speak.
They dressed each other, an act almost as intimate as the one they'd performed just moments before. Gibbs followed her up to their room, watching with clenched fists and an aching heart as she packed most of her things, slowly removing the evidence of their relationship from his room.
It looked barren without her things in it, empty without the little touches that made it theirs.
She didn't speak again until they were in his car outside of her apartment, both craving the others touch but too afraid of who might be watching to give in to the need.
"Promise me something." Her voice seemed loud in the quiet car though it had been barely above a whisper.
He didn't hesitate, a hand tentatively moving to touch hers where it rested on her leg out of sight of anyone watching from outside. "Anything."
"Promise me you won't... If you have to sleep with her..." Abby swallowed hard, hating that she knew this man so well. Hating that she knew he'd do anything – anything at all – to get the information he needed to keep her and their friends safe.
"Abby, I won't. I won't go that far." Gibbs sounded determined but she shook her head, not wanting promises he might not be able to keep.
"If you do," she forced her face up so she could look at him, green eyes holding blue. "Promise me it won't be in our bed. I can handle a lot of things but that... The thought of her there... I know it's your house and always will be but it feels like my home, too. I don't know if I could..."
"I won't. I promise." He squeezed her hand in affirmation, wishing he could lean in and kiss her, wishing he could touch her cheek and catch the lone tear that slid down it with his thumb. "Whatever happens, whatever you hear..." He lifted his hand from hers, signing the words he couldn't bring himself to say for fear it would be the last time he got the chance.
His silent 'I love you' hung in the air between them for a long moment until Abby gave him a small nod and an even smaller, ever-so-fleeting smile.
"Goodnight, Jethro. I'll see you tomorrow."
He watched her get out of the car, carrying her bag over her shoulder. He sat there as she disappeared inside the building, waiting until he saw the light go on in her apartment and the curtains twitch as she moved to watch him go before driving away.
Back to the house that was no longer a home without her in, promising himself she'd be back there soon.
****
End.