Things to do in Salem When You're Dead
Chapter Thirty-Seven
"He's going to be a wonderful father."
I watch Brady play with Carlotta. My niece squeals with delight as my husband dangles her upside down in the air. The blood rushes to her face, turning her scarlet, but still she wants more. Brady rights her though and lifts her high in the air.
"Airplane!" he cries and begins making zoomy flying noises.
"Faster! Higher!" is her imperial demand.
I turn to my grandmother who sits beside me. "Yes, he will. I just hope that I'll get the chance to make him one."
Sophia pats my hand. "You will. I have a good feeling about you two."
I turn back to Brady who is now tickling Carlotta breathless. He looks up at me and he's got this big, goofy grin on his face and I know he can't wait to have children of his own.
Three days ago I wouldn't have even considered having children a possibility. As far as I was concerned my future was written in stone, my fate sealed. But that all changed with one miraculous discovery.
It's funny; after I got off the phone with Mom I rushed back to Sophia's. I told her the news, that her son was my father, and she didn't even bat an eye. Didn't even show any surprise, nothing. I repeated what I had said, thinking maybe my Italian was off. She just smiled though.
"No my dear, I understood you."
"You don't seem too surprised. Does this happen a lot? A strange girl shows up at your door claiming to be your granddaughter?"
She laughed then. I love her laugh. It's been a long time since I had a grandmother. I had forgotten what it was like.
"No, you're the first. I just knew. Do you feel the connection between us, the instant bond? You are of my blood, Chloe. We are family. I knew that the moment we met."
"Yeah, I did too. I mean, I didn't KNOW know; I just. knew."
Sophia hugged me then and it was just like when I was six and my adopted grandmother would hug me in that special way that made me feel like the most important person in her world. I sighed then and small tears slipped from my eyes. It had been so long since I last felt that way. We broke our hug and I wiped my eyes.
"So tell me dear, how did it happen?" she asked.
"How did what happen?"
"You. How did Antonio and your mother meet?"
My face fell then. I didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone that their son cruelly raped someone? I finally managed to get the words out. Again, she didn't seem surprised. Sad, but not surprised.
Her bony fingers clasped onto mine. "When his wife died, he became mad with grief. He was a completely different person. That's why he went to America - to heal and regain control. I am deeply sorry for your mother's pain. I just wanted you to know that your father wasn't all bad. He made you after all. I just wish."
"What?"
She smiled sadly. "I wish Antonio could have known you. It would have done his heart good to know that you existed."
"You know, ever since my mom found me, I've wondered about my Dad. Who was he, what kind of man was he. I guess, I was really looking for myself. You know, my roots, family. I would lie on my bed and wonder how much of me came from my father. Did I look like him, did I act like him. Did I get my love of music from him - things like that.
But when I learned I was the product of a rape, I was devastated. It still hurts actually. I exist because of an act of violence - because of something that never should have happened. And then the old questions come back. How much of me comes from the man who raped my mother? I don't know that I could handle meeting him, Sophia. To look into his eyes and know that he hurt my mother in the cruelest way."
Sophia hugged me then, her arms pulling me closely to her chest. She whispered soothing words in my ear. "Your father was a good man; loving, generous and kind. He once did a horrible thing but it doesn't change the man he was. And it doesn't change who you are. You are a good person, Chloe. I knew it when I met you."
I wanted to stay with her longer and get to know her, but then I remembered Brady. He didn't know where I was and was probably worried.
"There you are," he said when I came back to the hotel. "I was getting ready to send out a search party," he joked. He must have seen the excited flush to my cheeks; he became serious at once. "Chloe, is anything wrong?"
I couldn't keep the tears from shining in my eyes. This was such a big moment. We finally had a reason to hope. I hadn't really processed until that moment what the discovery meant. I had a family now; people who might be donor matches.
"Nothing's wrong, Brady. But something's very right."
"What is it?"
"Brady, during my walk this morning, I met the most amazing woman. She's beautiful and kind and.she's my grandmother."
"Oh, that's nice.wait, did you just say.she's your grandmother?!" His voice rose in pitch.
I nodded as a large smile crept up on my face. "Yes. She's my father's mother."
"Your father? You found his family? I thought your mom didn't know who he was."
"She didn't. All she had was a name. But she identified him from the picture I faxed."
"Picture - okay wait, start from the beginning."
So I told him everything. I even showed him a picture of my sister Maria. He stared at the picture. "This is.this is incredible - Oh my God Chloe, do you know what this means?"
I nodded. "Nancy and Craig are on their way as we speak. Brady, I could get my transplant!"
Which brings us to where we are now. Nancy and Craig arrived and we visited Sophia. I could tell it was hard on Mom being around the mother of the man who raped her. Pictures of him were all around the house. But Sophia was warm and understanding, which helped a great deal.
We sat down with Sophia and Craig explained my situation. It took a while because Craig's Italian was very rusty and Sophia spoke little English. I tried my best to translate some of the medical talk. It took several repetitions for her to understand.
"You're dying?"
I nodded. Sophia immediately agreed to be tested. However, she wasn't a match. We tested my niece Carlotta and now we are in the hospital waiting room anxiously awaiting the results.
An exhausted Brady plops down beside me with Carlotta in his arms. She scrambles onto my lap. Her chubby arms latch onto my neck and she plants a wet kiss on my cheek.
"Unca Brady took me flying!"
"He did?"
"Uh huh. But then we had to stop because the plane ran out of gas."
"Oh it did?" I look over at my heavily breathing husband. "That's because the plane is getting old."
"Hey, I'm only 21!" Brady states indignantly, causing Carlotta to giggle.
It's amazing how quickly Carlotta has latched onto me. She simply adores Brady and me. We didn't really have to explain that I was her aunt - she just knew. Of course the fact that I'm a dead ringer for her mother probably has something to do with it.
Finally the lab door opens and Craig enters the waiting room. My free hand grabs Brady's and our fingers lace. The waiting room becomes deathly still and I search Craig's face for some kind of clue. But as usual his face is like rock. He glances at the papers in his hand.
"We have the test results." He takes an agonizingly long pause and then he looks up - his eyes gazing into mine.
I can see the threat of tears in his eyes. Come on Craig, just give it to me. Brady squeezes my hand and I steel myself for bad news.
Craig inhales deeply. When he speaks, his voice is soft and shaky. "The test.was positive. Carlotta is a perfect match."
Oh my God. My hand clamps over my mouth. Oh my God. She's a match. We found a donor, after all this time. Tears slip from my eyes. I'm not going to die. Oh God, I can't describe how I feel right now. I've been without hope for so long, and now.
The waiting room erupts in joyous celebration. Brady throws his arms around me.
"Oh my God, Chloe," he rambles breathlessly in my ear. "I.I.Chloe.Aaaah! I'm speechless!"
"I know - me too!"
My families, new and old, join in the celebration. Even Brady's family is here, which surprises me.
"Of course we came, Chloe," John explains. "You're family now. Of course we'd be here for this."
Belle crushes me in a bear hug. "I knew it!" she cries. "I knew you'd get your miracle. I knew I wouldn't lose my best friend and sister."
I'm a little overwhelmed by the good news and everyone's enthusiastic reactions. Craig manages to calm everyone down.
"So what's the next step?" I ask.
"Well, before we can begin the transplant, we have to kill the existing cancer. So, it's back to isolation and chemotherapy for you."
So I'm back in isolation now. All by myself in a lonely hospital room. But I'm not alone. On the other side of the door are all my friends and family, watching over me. So much has changed since I was last in isolation. I have hope now, and a future.
The funny thing is, if I had done what everyone wanted me to do months ago and stayed in the hospital, I never would have found my family. I would probably still be in that hospital room, waiting to die. Now, in hindsight I can see so perfectly the path I was walking. These last few months I thought I was doing what I wanted to do. Instead, I see now that my footsteps were ordered. I was being guided along the entire way. Every step I took led me here, to Venice, to find my family. Even my decision to go for a walk to other day wasn't really mine, but just something I had to do.
I smile when I feel that familiar presence. Her glowing form appears before me. "Isabella. You did this. You led me here."
She shrugs. "Guilty as charged."
"Okay, so I know now that you've been guiding me here, but why did you let me go through all the other stuff first? I've wasted months. Why didn't you tell me to go to Venice then?"
"Everything was done to bring you here, to the right place, at the right time. Sophia spends much of the year visiting her other children. If you had come months ago, you would have missed her, and you would have gone home never even knowing she existed.
Besides, Chloe, I hardly call the last few months a waste. A great deal has happened. You and Brady have come so close. The two of you are married, and so much in love. All this happened because you thought you were dying. Can you honestly say that given your and my son's stubborn qualities, the two of you would be where you are today if you hadn't been ill?"
Wow. She's right. There's something about facing death that gives you a new appreciation for life. It gives you clarity of mind and new priorities. Brady and I came together because I suddenly knew what was important to me and I was able to cast off everything else. Like Phillip.
Oh my goodness. If it wasn't for my illness, I might still be stuck in the limbo land that was our relationship. It was my leukemia that opened my eyes and made me become honest with myself and my feelings.
"Wait, are you saying that my illness happened to bring Brady and me together?"
"I won't say that. But I will say that everything happens for a reason."
"Why?"
"You'll have to ask my employer," she says with a small smile. "I am told He works in mysterious ways." She fades then and I can just make out two beautiful wings on her back.
Wow. So I still don't know why God would go to so much effort to bring Brady and me together. But now, thanks to Him, I have the rest of my life to find out.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
"He's going to be a wonderful father."
I watch Brady play with Carlotta. My niece squeals with delight as my husband dangles her upside down in the air. The blood rushes to her face, turning her scarlet, but still she wants more. Brady rights her though and lifts her high in the air.
"Airplane!" he cries and begins making zoomy flying noises.
"Faster! Higher!" is her imperial demand.
I turn to my grandmother who sits beside me. "Yes, he will. I just hope that I'll get the chance to make him one."
Sophia pats my hand. "You will. I have a good feeling about you two."
I turn back to Brady who is now tickling Carlotta breathless. He looks up at me and he's got this big, goofy grin on his face and I know he can't wait to have children of his own.
Three days ago I wouldn't have even considered having children a possibility. As far as I was concerned my future was written in stone, my fate sealed. But that all changed with one miraculous discovery.
It's funny; after I got off the phone with Mom I rushed back to Sophia's. I told her the news, that her son was my father, and she didn't even bat an eye. Didn't even show any surprise, nothing. I repeated what I had said, thinking maybe my Italian was off. She just smiled though.
"No my dear, I understood you."
"You don't seem too surprised. Does this happen a lot? A strange girl shows up at your door claiming to be your granddaughter?"
She laughed then. I love her laugh. It's been a long time since I had a grandmother. I had forgotten what it was like.
"No, you're the first. I just knew. Do you feel the connection between us, the instant bond? You are of my blood, Chloe. We are family. I knew that the moment we met."
"Yeah, I did too. I mean, I didn't KNOW know; I just. knew."
Sophia hugged me then and it was just like when I was six and my adopted grandmother would hug me in that special way that made me feel like the most important person in her world. I sighed then and small tears slipped from my eyes. It had been so long since I last felt that way. We broke our hug and I wiped my eyes.
"So tell me dear, how did it happen?" she asked.
"How did what happen?"
"You. How did Antonio and your mother meet?"
My face fell then. I didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone that their son cruelly raped someone? I finally managed to get the words out. Again, she didn't seem surprised. Sad, but not surprised.
Her bony fingers clasped onto mine. "When his wife died, he became mad with grief. He was a completely different person. That's why he went to America - to heal and regain control. I am deeply sorry for your mother's pain. I just wanted you to know that your father wasn't all bad. He made you after all. I just wish."
"What?"
She smiled sadly. "I wish Antonio could have known you. It would have done his heart good to know that you existed."
"You know, ever since my mom found me, I've wondered about my Dad. Who was he, what kind of man was he. I guess, I was really looking for myself. You know, my roots, family. I would lie on my bed and wonder how much of me came from my father. Did I look like him, did I act like him. Did I get my love of music from him - things like that.
But when I learned I was the product of a rape, I was devastated. It still hurts actually. I exist because of an act of violence - because of something that never should have happened. And then the old questions come back. How much of me comes from the man who raped my mother? I don't know that I could handle meeting him, Sophia. To look into his eyes and know that he hurt my mother in the cruelest way."
Sophia hugged me then, her arms pulling me closely to her chest. She whispered soothing words in my ear. "Your father was a good man; loving, generous and kind. He once did a horrible thing but it doesn't change the man he was. And it doesn't change who you are. You are a good person, Chloe. I knew it when I met you."
I wanted to stay with her longer and get to know her, but then I remembered Brady. He didn't know where I was and was probably worried.
"There you are," he said when I came back to the hotel. "I was getting ready to send out a search party," he joked. He must have seen the excited flush to my cheeks; he became serious at once. "Chloe, is anything wrong?"
I couldn't keep the tears from shining in my eyes. This was such a big moment. We finally had a reason to hope. I hadn't really processed until that moment what the discovery meant. I had a family now; people who might be donor matches.
"Nothing's wrong, Brady. But something's very right."
"What is it?"
"Brady, during my walk this morning, I met the most amazing woman. She's beautiful and kind and.she's my grandmother."
"Oh, that's nice.wait, did you just say.she's your grandmother?!" His voice rose in pitch.
I nodded as a large smile crept up on my face. "Yes. She's my father's mother."
"Your father? You found his family? I thought your mom didn't know who he was."
"She didn't. All she had was a name. But she identified him from the picture I faxed."
"Picture - okay wait, start from the beginning."
So I told him everything. I even showed him a picture of my sister Maria. He stared at the picture. "This is.this is incredible - Oh my God Chloe, do you know what this means?"
I nodded. "Nancy and Craig are on their way as we speak. Brady, I could get my transplant!"
Which brings us to where we are now. Nancy and Craig arrived and we visited Sophia. I could tell it was hard on Mom being around the mother of the man who raped her. Pictures of him were all around the house. But Sophia was warm and understanding, which helped a great deal.
We sat down with Sophia and Craig explained my situation. It took a while because Craig's Italian was very rusty and Sophia spoke little English. I tried my best to translate some of the medical talk. It took several repetitions for her to understand.
"You're dying?"
I nodded. Sophia immediately agreed to be tested. However, she wasn't a match. We tested my niece Carlotta and now we are in the hospital waiting room anxiously awaiting the results.
An exhausted Brady plops down beside me with Carlotta in his arms. She scrambles onto my lap. Her chubby arms latch onto my neck and she plants a wet kiss on my cheek.
"Unca Brady took me flying!"
"He did?"
"Uh huh. But then we had to stop because the plane ran out of gas."
"Oh it did?" I look over at my heavily breathing husband. "That's because the plane is getting old."
"Hey, I'm only 21!" Brady states indignantly, causing Carlotta to giggle.
It's amazing how quickly Carlotta has latched onto me. She simply adores Brady and me. We didn't really have to explain that I was her aunt - she just knew. Of course the fact that I'm a dead ringer for her mother probably has something to do with it.
Finally the lab door opens and Craig enters the waiting room. My free hand grabs Brady's and our fingers lace. The waiting room becomes deathly still and I search Craig's face for some kind of clue. But as usual his face is like rock. He glances at the papers in his hand.
"We have the test results." He takes an agonizingly long pause and then he looks up - his eyes gazing into mine.
I can see the threat of tears in his eyes. Come on Craig, just give it to me. Brady squeezes my hand and I steel myself for bad news.
Craig inhales deeply. When he speaks, his voice is soft and shaky. "The test.was positive. Carlotta is a perfect match."
Oh my God. My hand clamps over my mouth. Oh my God. She's a match. We found a donor, after all this time. Tears slip from my eyes. I'm not going to die. Oh God, I can't describe how I feel right now. I've been without hope for so long, and now.
The waiting room erupts in joyous celebration. Brady throws his arms around me.
"Oh my God, Chloe," he rambles breathlessly in my ear. "I.I.Chloe.Aaaah! I'm speechless!"
"I know - me too!"
My families, new and old, join in the celebration. Even Brady's family is here, which surprises me.
"Of course we came, Chloe," John explains. "You're family now. Of course we'd be here for this."
Belle crushes me in a bear hug. "I knew it!" she cries. "I knew you'd get your miracle. I knew I wouldn't lose my best friend and sister."
I'm a little overwhelmed by the good news and everyone's enthusiastic reactions. Craig manages to calm everyone down.
"So what's the next step?" I ask.
"Well, before we can begin the transplant, we have to kill the existing cancer. So, it's back to isolation and chemotherapy for you."
So I'm back in isolation now. All by myself in a lonely hospital room. But I'm not alone. On the other side of the door are all my friends and family, watching over me. So much has changed since I was last in isolation. I have hope now, and a future.
The funny thing is, if I had done what everyone wanted me to do months ago and stayed in the hospital, I never would have found my family. I would probably still be in that hospital room, waiting to die. Now, in hindsight I can see so perfectly the path I was walking. These last few months I thought I was doing what I wanted to do. Instead, I see now that my footsteps were ordered. I was being guided along the entire way. Every step I took led me here, to Venice, to find my family. Even my decision to go for a walk to other day wasn't really mine, but just something I had to do.
I smile when I feel that familiar presence. Her glowing form appears before me. "Isabella. You did this. You led me here."
She shrugs. "Guilty as charged."
"Okay, so I know now that you've been guiding me here, but why did you let me go through all the other stuff first? I've wasted months. Why didn't you tell me to go to Venice then?"
"Everything was done to bring you here, to the right place, at the right time. Sophia spends much of the year visiting her other children. If you had come months ago, you would have missed her, and you would have gone home never even knowing she existed.
Besides, Chloe, I hardly call the last few months a waste. A great deal has happened. You and Brady have come so close. The two of you are married, and so much in love. All this happened because you thought you were dying. Can you honestly say that given your and my son's stubborn qualities, the two of you would be where you are today if you hadn't been ill?"
Wow. She's right. There's something about facing death that gives you a new appreciation for life. It gives you clarity of mind and new priorities. Brady and I came together because I suddenly knew what was important to me and I was able to cast off everything else. Like Phillip.
Oh my goodness. If it wasn't for my illness, I might still be stuck in the limbo land that was our relationship. It was my leukemia that opened my eyes and made me become honest with myself and my feelings.
"Wait, are you saying that my illness happened to bring Brady and me together?"
"I won't say that. But I will say that everything happens for a reason."
"Why?"
"You'll have to ask my employer," she says with a small smile. "I am told He works in mysterious ways." She fades then and I can just make out two beautiful wings on her back.
Wow. So I still don't know why God would go to so much effort to bring Brady and me together. But now, thanks to Him, I have the rest of my life to find out.