***A/N***: So yeah, I sorry for the many-month long delay. I graduated, began starting up my own business, traveled a bit to visit long-time-no-see friends and family, and then I bought a house! So other than all the new and exciting things happening to me right now, I was a bit depressed with where I had to go with that last chapter … not to mention that I'm not done. You know how Joss takes characters and kills them? Yeah *cracks my knuckles* just you wait. I ain't even started yet children … MUAHAHA! Just trust me … keep reading.
**ANGEL POV**- Always Darkest (Before Dawn)
That moron, that … that fucking idiot! 'Don't do anything stupid' he said … what about the amazingly stupid non-plan of his to attack the woman with the two fresh-as-a-daisy guards standing right by her side? The guards with slayer powers who were directly under her mental control?
Oh yeah, that was well-thought out.
There's no real way to describe the complicated relationship Spike and I have maintained throughout the years, and there is no real way to describe one solid emotion I felt as that relationship was ended on a pointy shard of wood. Buffy and I were both taken by surprise as he leapt out of the battle to try and end it all by taking down Eve, though honestly we should have expected it from him at this point. We both began a mad, pointless dash towards him as we watched the slayer approaching him. All I knew for absolutely certain was that I was almost viscerally hit with one thought; I didn't want him to die. By the time we had taken three running steps, it was already too late.
"NO! Don't you touch him," Buffy screeched irrationally to a slayer that we both knew couldn't obey her even if she wanted to.
As we rushed forward, I pushed the woman with the stake roughly to the side, yet even before I touched her I knew it would fix nothing. The second Spike said his last words we could already see him beginning to lose color, morphing into that tell-tale shade of brown that is vamp dust. Buffy crash down to the floor on her knees to … I don't know … try to hold him together or something but there was nothing either of us could do at this point. The realization of that fact was heartbreaking to see on her face.
"Spike?" she said in a small, trembling voice.
The second she spoke, the air moving from her lungs disturbed the dust and sent Spike's form scattering into the air … he was really gone. No more black leather coat. No more ridiculous hair. No more cock-sure swagger covering up his almost debilitating insecurities. No more loud mouth that just can't shut the hell up. Nothing to even suggest that he had even truly been here at all … nothing but the weightless specks floating through the atmosphere around us.
"Oh that's just awful," Eve hacked and coughed as she took a giant breath after being choked, only to inhale a large amount of Spike's ashes as they fell on top of her.
"You think that's awful," Buffy spit out from between her gritted teeth as she lunged forward and began to rain down heavy blows directly into Eve's face, "YOU … DON'T …KNOW … AWFUL … YET!"
As much as I enjoyed the view of Buffy's fists turning Eve's nose into raw hamburger meat, I wasn't about to let her make the same mistake Spike just did. I turned and quickly intercepted two vampires bearing down upon us just in time. With a piercing blow of my sword, I was able to pin both of them down like a toothpick with two martini olives. Obviously this didn't kill them, but created a big enough of a tangled mess that I had time to sweep up a discarded stake from the ground and hit both of them in the heart one after the other. A fast survey of the lobby revealed that these had in fact been the last two vampires in the room, and now all we had to deal with were a few slayers still being used as living play-things in a crazed woman's revenge plan.
"Buffy! Behind you," I shouted in much the same manner as she just had to warn Spike as a slayer was coming up behind from behind to stake her in the back as well.
Her fist took only the briefest of pauses from smashing into Eve's face in order to swing back directly into the chin of the advancing slayer. Buffy didn't even need to look in order to land a perfect hit, knocking the woman violently backwards, before again returning to strike the woman on the ground before her. Her head bounced slightly when she hit the stone floor of the foyer and she didn't make a move to get back up.
I really hope she didn't just crack her skull open …Buffy will hate herself if she dies … Slayer healing helps out a lot with blows to the head so hopefully this with mend and she'll be fine in a few hours …
It looked like we finally had the upper hand for about half a second before I took a quick head-count of the room. Buffy might be beating Eve into a sticky paste, but Eve still had the pendant that was controlling the remaining slayers. Not including the girl Buffy had just hit and the other unconscious slayers, there were still 6 slayers awake and moving over to the new center of action.
I never thought I would ever want this, but I really wish Illyria was awake and in control right about now …
"Buffy, we've still got some company here," I grunted as another slayer made a bee-line towards my girl and I tackled her away moments before she connected her foot into the back of Buffy's skull.
"Oh goodie," she sniffled yet continued to focus all her attention on Eve, "I love company … but I'm kinda busy right now. Can you entertain our guests for a moment while I kill your former co-worker?"
"Well you know I'm not much for company," I groaned as I struggled to subdue the girl I had just landed on top of, "but hey … I'm a friendly, easy-going guy. I'm sure we'll make fast friends."
Buffy continued to focus on Eve, even as two of the slayers gathered round her and began their attack to release their boss. I watched her hunch over, making herself as small as possible, but even as they hit and kicked her she did not pause one second in her lashing of Eve's face. I knew I had to act quickly to help her, and to help myself as well since there were still two other slayers who were advancing on me. In order to put the one I had under me out of commission, I quickly flipped her onto her stomach and wrapped my arm around her neck. With her head firmly locked into the hook my arm made, I began to squeeze her as hard as I could in attempt of creating a blood chokehold. As her compatriots began their attack upon me to try and force me to let her go, she reached up and behind to attack one of my most sensitive spots … she grabbed my hair and began trying to pull out massive chunks of it.
NOT THE HAIR! OW god dammit!
Vanity wasn't the only issue, the pain was searing … blinding even. I couldn't even see through the water it was bringing forth into my eyes, and in this fight up against supernatural beings I needed at least my keen sense of sight and observation to have any kind hope for my life. I didn't … couldn't let it phase me as I squeezed harder, and just as it felt like she might literally pull my scalp clean off my head I felt her grip lessen and her body go limp as she passed out from a lack of blood flow to her brain. I quickly took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my eyes as I released her, and turned to face the two fast approaching slayers that I had to deal with.
I don't care if I have to die doing it, but somehow I need to put them out and distract the others long enough for Buffy to defeat Eve. But how the hell are the both of us going to live long enough to accomplish that feat at this point?
I took a mental tally of all my wounds. One vampire had managed to get a bite into my forearm as I cut down another with my sword. He hadn't chomped down on a major vein or artery, but it still hurt like crazy and it was my dominant fighting arm. I had at least two, maybe three broken ribs judging by the shortness of my breath courtesy of a slayer's kick to the chest. I was feeling slightly dizzy, so I was assuming that one of the many blows to the head I had suffered by this point had given me a concussion. If I was already exhausted and barely able to continue fighting in spite of my injuries, how the hell was Buffy going to be able to hold up?
Even with the fresh wave of anger and grief losing Spike brought on, I can tell from here that Buffy still isn't using even a third of her normal strength.
At this point she'd been malnourished for weeks. Not that a food shortage mattered today, since she couldn't keep anything down and had been violently vomiting for hours. Even if she hadn't already done battle once today, even if she hadn't spent more hours walking than most people spend sleeping, she was exhausted from what was surely months of sleep deprivation that started long before she entered this Hell dimension. I could see a few injuries from our recent trials as well. The average bumps, bruises, and cuts that come from the hand-to-hand combat we were engaged in were peppered all over her… not to mention the large gash on her back that she must have gotten from her fight upstairs to save Connor's life. Yet that was the only damage I could actually see; from the way she had been fighting I had the horrible idea that something more serious … something internal that I couldn't visualize was wrong.
She's just protecting her internal organs too much. I mean yeah, those are all very important and all but … she must have already been really hurt there today while I wasn't looking because I have never seen her protect her midsection so much before. She's purposely letting her opponents land blows to her head and other vulnerable areas just to avoid getting hit in the stomach. God I hope she's not bleeding internally … even when we defeat Eve and her minions how can Buffy's medical team stop that? They are still so limited in what they can do … maybe the witches can fix her if we get back to base fast enough?
Standing and whirling around to face the slayers on wobbly legs, I scooped up my broadsword even though I knew I wouldn't be able to really use it effectively on the poor girls before me. As they encroached, I slapped one of them on the side of the head with the flat side of the blade causing her to grab her ear in stunned pain and crouch to the ground in order to recover. The other woman rushed straight at me, and the only thing I could think to do was spin to evade her as she tried to crash into me, and to slam the butt of my hilt into the back of her head as she rushed past me. I thought I had hit her hard enough to knock her senseless for a while, but I was wrong; I hadn't factored in that I couldn't hit her with my former vampire strength. She was still dazed though, so I approached her in order to deliver another strike to get the job done. Without warning though, I was suddenly tackled from behind as the slayer I had hit on the ear recovered enough to take me down at the knees.
"BUFFY," I loudly sputtered through blood pouring out of my broken nose after I face-planted on the stone floor, "STOP PUNCHING EVE AND JUST GRAB THE TALISMEN CONTROLING THE SLAYERS! THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM!"
The look on her face was one of astonishment, like that hadn't even factored into her plan until just this moment. With one hand still wrapped around her stomach, her punching hand reached out and grabbed the chord instead of aiming for Eve's face yet again. Yet just as Buffy started to pull it off Eve's neck, another hand reached out. It was a slayer's hand, and she gripped Buffy's wrist so tightly that even with my human senses I could hear my girl's bones grinding together.
Oh god, how horrible must it be to know that you can't even do anything but obey the order to keep your own slavery going?
Before Buffy could even try to get loose, the other two slayers managed to get a hold of her other arm … and then the first slayer snapped Buffy's wrist with a sickening twist in order to get her to let go of the necklace. I struggled against the many hands working together to hold me down flat onto the floor as she screamed in pain, but trying to fight my way to her was impossible with the full force of two super-strong women overpowering me. When I looked up from my prone position on the cold stone floor, I could see that Buffy was sharing my fate as the remaining slayers crowded around to restrain her.
"Wow," Eve mumbled through broken teeth and a mouthful of blood, "You have got a fucking brick for a hand, you know that?"
"Thanks for the compliment, I'll ad that to my business card," Buffy snarked as she tried to shrug away from a fellow slayer reaching out to grasp her broken wrist.
Eve quietly muttered a few phrases in a language so full of consonant sounds that it could only be some form of dead language from the Caucasus, before rubbing both hands across her badly battered face. As her palms passed over the damage, all signs of violence disappeared. The blood, contusions, broken skin, mangled cartilage, even the few knocked-out teeth that were missing a moment ago were all repaired without even a trace of what she had just gone through. Even her hair looked like it had just been seen to by a Hollywood salon stylist.
"A regeneration spell …" I whispered in shock as Eve cracked her neck and stood up.
"I did warn you, I've found some of my own magic now that I've been cut off from the family funds. I've learned just enough to keep myself safe, keep Gunn and him minions under my control without them even knowing it, and just enough to crack Illyria open and let her power un-make all of everything. I kinda wonder if it'll hurt … but don't you two worry about that," she smiled sweetly at us, "you'll both be dead already by then."
"Eve please," Buffy tried getting her attention back, "It's not too late. I know you're suffering but … who doesn't suffer in their love life? The majority of people in my crew have loved and lost tragically, some of them even by the hands of other people in our group. That doesn't mean that you have to make the grand evil exit choice for the whole of existence. If you want the chance to change … well, I'm offering it."
"This coming from the girl whose fist was just knocking some of my own teeth down my throat? Somehow I seriously doubt that you'll be able to get over Spike's death that quickly to welcome me into the fold with open arms," Eve replied with an incredulous expression.
"Consider that my catharsis. I'm not over Spike's death … I'll never get over that," she tried to regain her composure quickly as her voice cracked on his name, "but I'm still a big believer in everyone's ability to change for the better. You want out of this life? We can protect you from the Senior Partners, we can teach you how to live a normal life … all you have to do is let my slayers go and give up this kamikaze mission. I'll promise not to retaliate if you can promise the same thing. You say you and I are the same? Well I know I've always dreamed of the non-horrific, boring side of life; what about you?"
Eve just stood there with that smug little smirk plastered all over her face, until she seemed to see something shocking in the honesty written all over Buffy face.
"Oh my god … you're actually being sincere, aren't you? You've lost, little girl. I'm all for this keep on trucking attitude but … god isn't it tiring to be you? Just stop, it'll make your last moments slightly less horrific."
"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm an 'it's always darkest before dawn' kinda person. Well … except when Dawn's a giant. When she was standing in front of you then you can bet on it being pretty damn dark in her shadow …"
"She's always being sincere, just like I believe sincerely that this is a bad idea Buffy," I jumped in, trying to caution her.
"Angel, you of all people know that redemption and atonement isn't just for the few. Everyone should have the chance to make up for the wrong they've done," she tried to turn and look at me, but the slayers tightened their grip and kept her facing Eve.
The devil herself just stood there absolutely flabbergasted, staring into nothing. I couldn't even tell if she was perhaps warring within herself to take the offer or not. I continued to struggle against the slayers holding onto me as slyly as I could during her contemplation, and I could see Buffy doing the same even with her broken wrist still locked in an iron grip. As Eve shook herself back into reality though, I could see that she was still skeptical.
"I've just killed your new project and your lover in less time than it takes most girls to try on clothes at the mall. I'm about to kill you and your other boy-toy. Yet here you are … trying to be my savior," she laughed with a slightly manic edge.
"I'm sorry, did you hear a Depeche Mode song playing in the background that I didn't? I'm no one's personal Jesus. You want your soul to be saved? You need to save it yourself. I'm just giving you the opportunity; you're the one who has all the work to do."
"So much for reaching out and touching faith," she smirked, "I'll take a redemption rain check though. Seems kinda pointless unless you actually have a soul."
"You don't have one?"
"How many times do I need to tell you that I was created to be evil? I'm not human, I wasn't even born! W&H spawned me themselves to do their bidding on earth. But they gave me my own mind. Create something, give it consciousness, let it feel … put it out into the world with all this knowledge about the human experience … to be in it but never allowed to be a part of it ... how cruel is that?"
Eve was starting to spiral into that tell-tale evil villain mode of over-explaining things, which was working out great for us. Due to her emotional rant, she was losing focus on her orders to the slayers. I could feel the sets of hands on me loosening; still holding onto me but not as tightly. Out of the corner of my eye I couldn't see if the same was happening for Buffy, but I could see her almost imperceptibly wiggling a little more than just before.
A stranger wouldn't notice but I know every muscle, every fiber of her being. I can see her moving when no one else would be able to tell. If Eve keeps yapping away like this maybe she'll get so lost in the tempest in her mind that we can make a break for it. Then the main problem might become getting her to shut up.
"…so when I first met Lindsey and … he treated me normal, you know? He wasn't terrified of me or groveling or exuding hate in my general direction. I've always had a female body, but it wasn't until him that I actually felt like a woman. But it couldn't happen. I felt something for him but I had to let it go. I could never give in and be with him because they were watching. He was on their shit list and I could be scrapped and remade in under a second if TSP thought I'd been compromised. But leave it to my boy to find a way. Love will find a way. He was all I had. It was my work for TSP and him. He was the only thing in all of the vastness of existence that was for me alone. And now he's gone!"
With that last exclamation her focus zeroed back in on me. She rushed over towards me and began slapping me as if I was on fire and she was courteously trying to snuff it out. In a mad, chaotic rush of hits she took out her anger, her frustration, and her loss on me just as moments ago Buffy had done the same to her. She changed tempo and became more frenzied and violent; hitting, kicking, and stomping me with greater frequency until she seemed to explode with a scream and turned away from me panting. Eve just physically could not keep up with her emotional rage.
"I'm going to make you hurt worse than I did Angel," she exclaimed between gasps for breath after her outburst, "I'm going to ease my exit from this mortal coil with the balm of your suffering."
And just like that, the grips subduing both of us visibly tightened. Before when the slayers had ganged up on Buffy they had each been hitting at her haphazardly in a rush to try and stop her assault on Eve, but this time Eve wasn't being attacked. This time, Eve could map out each strike for maximum effect … and she was doing just that. With only two girls still holding Buffy in place and one continuing to restrain me face down on the floor, all the other slayers began an orchestrated barrage of hits on Buffy. Fists, knees, elbows and feet all pummeled her in a blitzkrieg so brutal I was literally shocked to see it … and now a days absolutely nothing shocks me.
"EVE STOP! You know she has nothing to do with this! Turn them loose on me, PUNISH ME! JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!"
"This is your punishment Angel," she deadpanned for a moment before flitting back into her psycho-sarcasm, "You should be happy I chose to just have her beaten to death in front of you. It's a lot simpler … my plan up until an hour ago was to turn her and have Connor be her first meal in front of you. Then I figured grand schemes always have a way of coming back and biting you on the ass. I'd rather get my vengeance and be done with this shit. I'm a busy lady; I have an everything to destroy after all."
Buffy was trying to fight back, she really was. I felt it in my bones when she wrenched her broken hand away from a slayer and began trying to fight back with her injured limb. She made a massive effort to roll forward in an attempt to swing the rest of her body out of the grip of the other slayer, yet her attempt just ended up with her curled up on the floor with her good arm at an odd angle behind her back. The assailment didn't cease, and I could do nothing but continue to struggle even as a kick to the face forced a few of Buffy's teeth skitter past me on the ground. But then I saw something … something I've never seen her do before. Something I never in a million lifetimes thought I would ever see. Buffy began to plead with Eve to not hurt her anymore.
"Stop … please just stop," she got out between deep, pained breaths as she struggled to speak, "I can't die Eve … not now. Please … PLEASE just call the slayers off. Don't kill me, I'm begging you. Put me under your mind control if you have to but don't … don't kill me and don't destroy the world. Just let me live."
What the hell is going on? I've seen her do all sorts of things to change an enemy's game plan but she has NEVER lowered herself to begging. Even when her life or the life of her friends was in jeopardy she has never backed down, never surrendered.
"What are you doing? You can't seriously be asking to become one of her zombies," I yelled in shock, "Keep fighting dammit!"
"See now, it may seem like we don't know each other that well but I had to study you like crazy when I was first put on the Angel case. I know for a fact that you never so much as begged for a pair of shoes from mommy in your entire life," Eve said in a surprised tone before walking over to a prone Buffy and squatting down beside her, "So tell me, just between us girls, what's up with that? If you were going to beg anything at all, I kinda figured it would be for the life of the guy over there that you and I both know doesn't deserve it."
So apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed how odd this was. I struggled again against the slayer holding me down, but her strength against my human weakness guaranteed that I could do little more than wiggle in her grasp. Buffy looked at me with pained conflict in her eyes and spat out a mouthful of blood before quickly looking back up at Eve from her fetal position on the floor. She looked like she was trying to decide something, that little crease springing forth between her eyebrows the way it always did when she was trying to make a big choice and running through all the outcomes in her mind. I had no idea what she was going to say, if she was even going to say anything at all, but even from this distance I could tell that she was trying to figure out if the truth would defend or doom her; that or she was trying to figure out a believable lie to tell in the hopes of getting an edge in this fight again.
"I'm … I need to live. I can't die like this, not just yet. I need more time."
"Oh so you have a timeline in mind," Eve laughed and shook her head like this was ridiculous to her ears, "Well Your Majesty … I'm so sorry to push your death ETA up a bit, but that's how it is in the real world. You have to just roll with the punches."
With that Eve started to stand up and one of her slayer minions cocked her fist back to throw a punch to Buffy's skull, ready to start the vicious beating all over again, but once again she rushed in an almost panicked tone to implore Eve for a reprieve.
"No! No wait … I'm pregnant. Normally I wouldn't care if you killed me … 'cause hey, I've already mastered that dance step. I just … I want this kid to have a life. Please," she almost whispered, but from the way her frenzied gaze left Eve's to lock into my eyes she knew I could hear her as well.
Pregnant? I didn't … what the … when … is this a ploy?
As I was trying to puzzle it all out, a lot of things suddenly clicked in my head. It was less like the light bulb moment, and more like an anvil dropped on your head moment. The secrets. The getting sick. Spike's extreme over-protectiveness when he's always trusted her own abilities to take care of herself before. His moody, snappish behavior of late when things had been going really well for a while between the three of us. Not to mention the odd way Buffy herself has been fighting today; protecting her torso above all other vulnerable targets. She'd never fought like that before … maybe now my obliviously not as sharp as I thought they were powers of observation have finally found the right answer to all this weirdness.
Oh god … it's not a ploy, is it?
"Oh wow, bravo! That is just one spectacular story to try and get me to spare your lives …" Eve tried to say, but I cut her off with a flurry of questions.
"Is this why you've been throwing up so much recently?" I asked Buffy harshly as if we had no audience, "How long have you known this and not told me? Who's the father?"
"I found out less than an hour ago. Oh and didn't tell you because I knew there would be a speech about how I should stay behind that I would inevitably win … it would have just been a waste of time. And by the way, 'who's the father', really? REALLY? I can't believe you'd ask me that right now," she said with a tone that plainly told me she thought I was being an idiot at the moment.
"Excuse me, but last I checked only human beings can father a … oh."
"Yep," she softened when she saw the reality hit me.
"I'm a human being."
"That you are."
"I can father children."
"The pudding has been proofed on that one," she huffed with a look that plainly told me I was being inappropriately adorable at this particular moment.
"I'm going to be a dad again?" I asked with an awed wonder pouring out of me, temporarily forgetting our surroundings.
"Well, at this moment that's kinda not in our hands," she eyed Eve who had been standing there watching us with an odd look.
"Fuck me … you're still not lying," she sighed after studying us for a while, "God damn goody-goodies can't even be relied upon to lie to save their asses!"
"So sorry to disappoint you what with my morals and all," my girl tried to say sarcastically, but it all came out as more of a pained groan.
"Morals? I'm not entirely sure it's your morals you can blame," Eve giggled, "for finding yourself in the position of taking a beating for two now."
"Eve … please …," it was my turn to beg now that I fully knew what was at stake, "let her go. I'll do anything you want, suffer through any torture and humiliation your creative mind can come up with if you just spare Buffy and my child. Oh and the earth as well; they'll need a place to stay after all."
Eve crossed her arms defensively and in a very unlike her move, shuffled from right to left as if she was contemplating something very uncomfortable for her. After a moment or two of her silently thinking she made an exasperated sigh and ran her hand through her hair in such a way that I began to hope that maybe … just maybe, she was getting back in touch with the human parts of her that the Partners had left behind.
Maybe she'll spare her just on the basis that people hate hurting kids, even most evil people find it distasteful.
"Look, I'm not completely heartless. Even I don't exactly relish the idea of maiming and torturing a pregnant mother. You especially B-girl; I think I've actually kinda grown to like you. If it weren't for all this good vs. evil crap … and if you grew that ugly frizz-bomb on your head back out so I could look at you without laughing … I could so see us as getting along."
"Oh goody, we can go shopping together and have a movie-and-ice cream night … or at least we could if you don't make it so that those things will disappear into nothingness."
"See, right there, that's why I like you," Eve laughed as she kneeled back down by Buffy with a genuine smile on her face, "You don't back down. You don't take anyone's shit … not normal people, not demons, not the ultimate evil, not even your kind-of boss's. You do what you think is right and just keep doing it your way no matter what."
"Thanks ever so, but you do know that the greatest compliment you could give me would be to not obliterate existence right?"
"I'm sorry but … I'm just not going to give up my plans because you two went at it like a couple of drunk high school kids without thinking about the consequences. I'll tell you what though, I have changed my mind about that whole make you suffer and make Angel watch thing. You really had no part in his crimes; it's not fair to make you pay for something you had nothing to do with after all. Plus I really don't want to draw out your pain now that I know you're knocked up. I might be evil, but even that doesn't feel right to me."
"Eve … don't you dare …," I screeched and flailed wildly to try to get lose and stop her as she stood up and began walking over towards my fallen sword.
"I'm going to make this quick and painless for you Buffy. A sharp sword hitting just between the vertebra is the fastest, cleanest method of decapitation there is … lucky for you the Senior Partners left all the knowledge about execution in my brain when they took my powers away."
"Yeah … that's me alright … lucky all over …," Buffy snarked with worried eyes as she looked over to me.
"You have no idea how lucky actually; I'm giving you a gift I didn't get," her voice turned hard as she picked up my favorite broadsword and examined the blade, "You might want to say goodbye now. Lindsey and I thought for sure that he was coming back so we never got the chance. But you? He's right there, and you both know for a fact that you're going to die. Make the most of this."
At that the slayers who had been previously pummeling Buffy reached out at once, locked their grip around her arms, and pulled her body up into a kneeling position. She tried to wrestle out of their hold, but we could both tell that she was too injured … to weak with blood loss at this point to do any sort of fighting against the healthy slayers who barely had a few scratches on them. One of the other slayers came back and helped the one keeping me down on the floor lift me to up to mirror Buffy's position. We locked eyes then, me trying to figure out exactly what her plan was for escape. Unfortunately, what I saw in her eyes was something very different. It was resignation.
No … not like this … this is not how this ends! She never gives up! She's the one pushing everyone else to keep on enduring when it all becomes unendurable! She has to have a plan, right? She's the master of improvisation when things look bleak … there has to be some angle she's getting ready to play …
Buffy did manage to finally finagle one arm free from a slayer, but it looked more like the slayer had just let it go instead of Buffy's fighting prowess liberating her. Only one slayer still held onto her, and it looked like if she let go Buffy would keel over onto the floor. I thought for sure she had to be playing this up, trying to look weak and helpless in hopes that Eve would have some level of mercy on her so that she could break away, but what she did next with her hand proved to me that I was wrong. She did nothing but look at me with watery eyes. Her free hand covered her stomach, still not showing even the slightest signs of the new life we had created together that I had just learned of, and I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was about to say what she thought would be her last goodbye.
"Don't you dare … Buffy get up," I yelled as I felt the muscles in my arm stretch painfully as I frantically tried to get loose of my captors to try and help her, "Don't you dare give up!"
"I'm sorry Angel. There's nothing I can do ..."
"Of course there is … remember! Strong is fighting," I screamed at her, pain ripping through me at the thought that our roles were now reversed and I had to be the one to convince her to keep fighting for her own life. To keep fighting for the life of our child.
"Yes, you're right … and I need you to remember that yourself," she tried to bolster me with a voice that skipped under the weight of her emotion, showing just how terrified she was under her calm and accepting surface.
"What makes you think I can keep going without you? Knowing what I'm about to lose …"
"Do not give up just because we're gone! You've continued on after my death before, you can do it again. Connor's still alive, you hear me! You haven't lost everything yet! Fight for him! Dawn is still out in our world … I'm trusting you to look after her now!"
"I'll keep fighting if you do! Please …" I screeched at her as I saw Eve sharpening the blade out of the corner of my eye, "please Buffy … try. Just try."
"Angel, listen to me … you have to find a way to get up and stop her. Even if we die here and now, we can't let her destroy everything. I promise you this … in whatever afterlife I was in before … it was incomplete. It was peace and fulfillment, but it wasn't totally whole. I got the feeling that I just had to wait for … something else, someone else, and then it would be perfect. You and me? If we can't be together in life, you can damn well bet that we'll be together in death. I know you don't believe it but …" she spoke as quickly as she could, trying to get it all out as fast as possible before she was literally cut short, "you'll end up the same place I do. If nothing else … if you trust that I deserve to be happy then you need to trust that I'll only be at peace if your soul is there with me. Do you trust me?"
"I do, but you can't talk like this … just FIGHT" I cracked out in a broken voice.
"I need you to fight for me. I need you to fight for us, so that one way or another we can have an eternity together. There will be nothing at all if she gets her way …,"
"BUFFY PLEASE!" I yelled at her, my fear for her turning in to anger at her acquiescence to her impending death.
"Forever, Angel, you have to save it. I can't do it; I'm so sorry that it's going to happen like this. But you have to save our forever. That's the whole point. I love you …"
"I love you too, that's why I need you to keep ..." but she never got to hear the rest of what I had to say before her head flew cleanly from her shoulders in an instant.
We were so wrapped up in each other that neither of us noticed that Eve had finished sharpening my sword, or that she clearly thought we'd had enough time and said enough of a goodbye for her taste. All the breath left my body as I watched Buffy's head roll away and her torso fall forward.
"No … no … Buf- oh god," I croaked in shock as Eve slowly stepped closer to me, "BUFFY NO!"
"It's time to go Angel," Eve stated plainly as she aimed my own sword at me.
"Go where?" I asked in a daze of shock.
No … I'll do what she asked … my only chance to get her back now is the save everything …
But how can I when my heart is disintegrating in my chest and I feel like I'm losing my mind?
I have to go out fighting … for her.
Time to go crazy.