A/N: The lullaby in this chapter takes the tune of 'Safe and Sound' by Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars in most parts, sometimes the syllable count is a little off, and the lyrics are for the most part original.
Do not own Tales of the Abyss, or any lyrics from Safe and Sound that are pretty much the same as they are in the original song.
Chapter 37: Window to the Past
Alex opened her eyes and was almost blinded by how bright everything was.
She couldn't hear anything, she couldn't say anything, she could only see, and even then she couldn't turn her head to look around more. She was in the middle of what appeared to be a large courtyard; lined with beds of flowers in every colour, all encased by huge, pure white, marble walls and pillars that belonged to an even bigger manor. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and the grass in the courtyard was a vibrant, healthy green.
Wait a minute… Courtyard? Green?
What happened to Mt. Roneal and all its white, snowy glory? She remembered fighting the God-Generals, and then…an avalanche? Did she miss something? How was she suddenly here? Where was 'here', anyway?
And why was she suddenly so short?...
All at once, her other senses came back to her. She could hear birds chirping, two young girls laughing a little ways behind her, and the wind rushing by her ears as she ran across the courtyard.
Alex then realized that she had absolutely no control over what she was doing, she could only watch through her eyes what happened around her. She had to settle with not having any idea exactly who or what she was running from.
And then she tripped, falling into the grass with a quiet thud.
She looked up, and was faced with a small blonde boy, who looked to be about four or five years old. He had bright blue eyes, and was dressed like a young noble. He wore a light green collared jacket and a white dress shirt underneath it, and blue pants with long brown boots that ended at his knees.
But the best feature about the four-year-old Guy was something she was most definitely going to bug him for later on. Just seeing his hair made her want to laugh. Hysterically.
Was that...a bowl cut? Well, sort of. His bangs were parted to the sides in the middle of his forehead, but their was no better way to explain it. It was a good thing he changed it to the messy style he had now, though he probably would have had an easier time with the maids in the manor if he had kept that ridiculous haircut.
The younger Guy helped her to her feet, and then poked her shoulder with a smile on his face. "There, now you're it!"
"Nuh-uh! I twipped! It don' count, Guy!"
...And where did her experience with the fonic language suddenly go?
Clearly this was a memory of Hod, and if Guy was about four that would mean she was around the age of three, going on four, which explained the lack of experience in speaking.
Guy's smile vanished, "But-"
"No! You're still it 'cause I twipped!" Wow. Clearly she was a temperamental child.
"But there aren't any rules like that..." Guy's eyes began to water. This threw Alex off. She had never seen him cry in the manor, or even once on their journey.
She heard two pairs of footsteps approach from behind her, and her younger self turned to face the newcomers.
They were two young girls, one about fourteen or fifteen years old, with long blonde hair and thick bangs that fell over her forehead and the sides of her face. She had Guy's blue eyes, and wore a long, elegant, yellow dress. The other girl Alex recognized instantly, she had long auburn hair held back by a blue ribbon, hazel eyes, and wore a long blue dress. Standing before her was the twelve-year-old- Isabell she'd seen in her dreams.
"Mary!" Guy called as he ran to hug his older sister, his eyes still teary.
Mary sighed, "Honestly, Gailardia, whatever it is this time, I'm sure it's no reason to start crying again. What happened?"
"I tagged her but she says she's not it..."
Mary looked over at Isabell, who shook her head with a sigh. "Alexandra, please play nice."
"It don' count!"
As the two children went back to their bickering, Alex listened in awe. It was amazing how well they got along now compared to back then. Granted they, or rather Alex, still picked fights on occasion, but only jokingly. It was hard to believe that they had such difficulty playing nice. Just as she was thinking this, Isabell voiced her thoughts.
She sighed again, "They always argue like this...Or Alexandra always picks fights with him anyway. Do you think they'll ever get along?"
Mary smiled, almost knowingly, "I wouldn't be too worried about that. In fact, I would be willing to bet that they like each other more than they let on. It's a shame their difference in status would get in the way."
Isabell stared at the older girl in bewilderment for a few moments before looking back to Guy and Alex, as if looking for something that Mary saw and she didn't. The two were still fighting. "Not in your lifetime!" she laughed, looking back at Mary as if she were crazy. Alex couldn't help but think about how ironic that comment was. Because Mary had died, Isabell had been right. She wondered briefly if they would have started to like each other even if the Hod war had never happened. She was snapped out of her thoughts by Isabell's voice, "They can't even stay in the same room for ten minutes without fighting! There's no way they would ever be a couple!"
Had they really had such a hard time getting along? Alex found that surprising considering how well they'd gotten along in the manor. But now that she thought about it, it took a while for them to become friends after Guy first arrived in the manor.
Alex listened bemusedly as the two older girls formed a bet about whether or not Alex and Guy would one day be a couple as the two children in question continued to argue about their game only a few feet away. Before long, the two of them had dragged Mary and Isabell into the argument yet again, only to be laughed at by their sisters, much to their disliking.
The scene dissolved around Alex, and she found herself in a familiar room – a dark room, where the only source of light was that of a single candle on top of her father's desk.
She watched as her father read the letter held in his hands, a crease in his brow. The door creaked open behind them, and Alex turned to watch as her four-year-old self stood in the doorway, her small hand clutching the frame, the rest of her body remaining in the shadows.
The tension in the air was much thicker than Alex had remembered it from the last time she'd had this dream.
"Daddy?..."
Her father, who seemed to have not heard the door opening, looked away from the letter. "It's past midnight, Dearest. Why are you still awake at this hour?"
"I had a bad dream... I'm too scared to go back to bed..." A pregnant pause followed her words. "Daddy?"
"Yes, Dearest?" her father sighed.
"Can I stay with you for a while?"
He turned in his seat and looked at her for a moment before sighing once again, "Alright, but only if you promise to go back to bed shortly."
"I will."
Alex watched as the scene between her and her father played out. She understood now why he was so stressed. He had known about what was going to happen, any details they had at that time about what would one day be known as the Hod War must have been in that letter.
Once again, without warning, her surroundings changed, and she found herself in the center of pandemonium.
All around her were the sounds of people screaming, and swords meeting with flesh. Blood stained every wall and formed pools around innocent people's bodies everywhere she looked. Her vision was slightly blurred, and she could tell she must have been crying. If she could smell, she was sure the coppery scent of blood would be thick in the air.
She realized then that she was being carried. She looked up at the face of the woman carrying her and noticed that she looked almost exactly like Isabell, only her eyes were a deep chocolate brown and she wore her long, auburn hair in a braid.
The screams continued as her mother carried her through the madness, seeming to be looking for something, somehow managing to avoid the Kimlascan soldiers as she went. She managed to find an empty room and stayed there.
"Anastasia!" Her mother stopped as the name was called out, and when she turned she saw her father entering the room, a sword in his hand. "Where's Isabell?"
"I don't know!" her mother replied, her voice wavering, "I don't know. She left before everything started happening, I haven't seen her since!"
His green eyes showed fear, but he nodded, "I'll go look-"
Before he could finish his sentence, the door crashed open, and several Kimlascan soldiers entered. Her father prepared a fighting stance just as her mother screamed. The soldiers all ran for her father, who attempted to hold them off as her mother ran with Alex to the corner of the room.
Alex watched over her mother's shoulder as her father was slaughtered, and she started to cry. She screamed and struggled against her mother's hold as the older woman placed her down in the corner, covering her with her own body and trying to calm her down.
She had tears running down her face as she took a breath and started to sing in a shaky voice:
No monsters wait in the shadows this night
So, darling, don't be scared
You have no reason to cry tonight
The room started to fade as her mother tried to continue the song, only she was interrupted when one of the soldiers thrust his sword right through the back of her head, the tip of the blade coming out of her open mouth. Alex started to scream and cry louder as she was sprayed with her mother's blood as her body fell away from her onto the floor. She saw a flash of dark red hair before everything went dark.
And suddenly she was reliving the day Guy started at the manor with Pere once again. She was too shaken from just watching her parents' deaths to really pay attention, but she recalled how Guy was reluctant to be alone with her. Was that because of how they couldn't get along on Hod?
She was mostly wondering this to try and take her mind off of what she just saw. But her mind had other ideas. As if deciding that blocking that memory was no longer an option since it had been repressed for so long, her mother's lullaby continued. But rather than the shaky voice she had started to sing with before, her voice was peaceful.
There's no danger, no need to stay aware
Take comfort in the soft glow of the moonlight
Suddenly she was walking through the main entrance of Fabre manor, heading toward the drawing room, when something caught her eye. She stopped and turned, heading toward a twelve-year-old Guy, who was standing in front of the pillar in front of the doorway, looking up at a brilliant sword with a pale blue, translucent blade hanging on the pillar, an expressionless look on his face.
She approached him, and he seemed so interested in the sword that he didn't even notice her.
"Father says it's a symbol of some great victory," Alex said to him, her voice brimming with pride. He finally turned his head to look at her, acknowledging that she was there. His facial expression didn't change, but she could see pain and bitterness in his eyes as she continued, rambling on about how proud her 'father' was about winning this battle and how happy she was that he did. When she finished, she looked at Guy, probably expecting him to be impressed by her knowledge on the matter, but instead Guy merely turned away from her and started to walk away, saying he had something he had to do.
As she watched the scene transpire, Alex couldn't help but think there was something very wrong with the picture.
Please close your eyes
The time to sleep is now
She was standing in the darkness beside Jade, Guy, and Tear as Isabell, then known as Garcia, approached their camp. It was the night they 'met', while they were evacuating the citizens from Engeve.
Of course, she knew now why she had looked so familiar.
It was a little frightening how Isabell had grown to look almost exactly like their mother, the only real differences being their clothes, eye colour, and how Isabell wore her hair in a ponytail rather than a braid.
I'm here tonight
No harm can reach you now
"…So Alexandra still doesn't remember?" Van was saying.
"You really think we should be eavesdropping?" Luke whispered.
"Shh! Van just said my name, I want to know why they're talking about me."
She felt like she was living through the shock of finding out he was from Hod once again as she listened to Guy and Van talk, and saw the look of surprise on Luke's face. She even felt the same sensation of time stopping as she and Luke heard the truth.
"Alex, please believe me," Isabell pleaded as Alex stared at her, having just been told that she was her sister. "It's been painful enough for me to have to go against the only family I have left; even more painful when I knew that you had no idea we're related." Isabell looked tortured. "You've been wondering why Guy seems to know me, right? Well this is why. We all knew each other in Hod."
Alex remembered how conflicted and confusing her thoughts were that night.
The sun will rise
And you and I'll be safe and sound
"Is there something you've been hiding from me?"
For a few moments Alex and Guy stared at each other. Tears were streaming silently down her face, and Guy looked both uncomfortable and guilty. He was struggling to say something, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly.
Finally, he closed his eyes and sighed, "I know I should have told you a long time ago-"
"But you didn't," Alex would have flinched at her own tone if she could, "And for the life of me I can't understand why! I mean, you've only had about ten years. And we've only seen each other every day!"
"I'm sorry…"
"I just don't get it," her voice cracked, and she covered her face with her hands.
She heard Guy take a deep breath and slowly step toward her.
"G-Guy?" she managed through her tears, and Alex knew even though she was still covering her face that Guy was now hugging her. It was strange not being able to feel anything.
For a few moments she heard and saw nothing.
"Guy?" she asked again, and as she placed both hands on his shoulders and gently pushed herself away from him Alex regained her sight, "What are you doing?"
"You looked like you needed a hug," Guy replied with a small, sad smile, allowing her to pull away. He frowned as he looked at her teary face before saying quietly, "I'm sorry I never told you the truth."
Her vision became blurry again as more tears started fall. She lowered her eyes, "I've been living a lie for sixteen years and you knew it," she said in a small voice, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"After I first saw you at the manor I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you wouldn't believe me. So I waited," he paused to wipe her tears away, he rested his hand on her cheek and pulled her face up so she was looking him in the eyes, "The years went by and you became more important to me. I was scared of what you would think; I was scared of losing you. I know it's not an excuse and I should have told you. I'm sorry."
Darling, you've no need to worry
As the night grows dark
You know that I would not lie
She was talking with Guy about how they were going to confront the King and Duke during the Peace Treaty. She saw only flashes of these conversations, taking place in hotel rooms, in whispers when they managed to get away from the other on the Albiore, and wherever else they could talk secretly.
"What about you, 'Father'? Do you have anything to say?"
She was entirely too focused on staring the Duke down to even look at the others. She'd hardly even registered Natalia addressing her with confusion in her voice. She watched the Duke exchange a few words with Guy, furious that he wasn't saying anything about how he had deceived her for so many years.
When she announced the truth about her past, she paid no attention to the gasps and whispers from the others. When the Duke explained why he had taken her in, how the Score had ended up being the reason she had lived a lie for so many years, she relived the anger she had felt back then. Over the short time that had passed since the Peace Treaty she had tried to let that anger go, but in reality the only reason she was so successful in doing that before was due to everything that occurred since. The deaths of the Classes, Sync in the core and Ion really being a replica, Tear being contaminated by the miasma, and of course worrying about lowering the land... There was a lot more to distract her from her anger.
But she had still started to forget about that anger nonetheless. She had found one way of not having to think about how her life had been messed up.
Suddenly Alex was looking at herself in a full-length mirror in a hotel room, examining her red hair. The image seemed to morph into her current appearance, her hair going from red to brown, and her clothes changing. She still held her old clothes in her hands.
She turned away from the mirror and threw the old clothes into the small trash can in the corner of the room before leaving and closing the door behind her.
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when I'm too far
Alex was alone in a room of nothing but black. She couldn't hear anything but her own breath, and she could only see herself. Though she was a little happy about finally being able to control her own movements again.
"Dearest."
Alex turned to face the voice, and her breath caught in her throat when she did. Her parents were standing before her, her father standing behind her mother with his hands on her shoulders. They were both smiling at her, both sadly and proudly at the same time, and her mother had tears running down her face. They were both glowing faintly, but Alex paid no attention to that, nor did she notice the white light behind her parents.
Her mother spoke. "How you've grown… We're sorry we couldn't be there for your childhood. Your sister's as well."
She opened her arms to hug Alex, who was now crying as well. She started to slowly walk toward her mother, extending her own arms as she went, but as she got closer she began to glow slightly as well, though the light resonating from her was flickering at first. The closer she got to her parents, the less the light was flickering, and she slowed down, looking at her hands. Why were they glowing?
She looked up at her parents, hoping they could answer her unasked question, but they only looked sadly at her.
Somewhere in the darkness she heard her name being called, but it was faint, and she hardly registered it. She looked around for the person calling her name, but found no one, and when she looked back to her parents she saw they were starting to fade away, the white light behind them fading as well.
She panicked, she didn't want them to leave.
She went to call out for them, but her father shook his head. "It is not your time."
Alex was confused by this comment, but spoke anyway.
"I'm sorry...that I forgot about you."
The voice called her name again.
Please close your eyes
The time for sleep is now
Suddenly she was alone with Guy on the Albiore, talking. But she couldn't hear a word he was saying, and any response she had given was muffled and incomprehensible. Perhaps it was because she was so shaken about having just seen her parents. She still recognized the moment though as when Guy had asked her to go with him to Grand Chokmah.
She heard her name being called again, this time much clearer. It was Guy's voice, and he sounded scared for some reason. Her vision went black for a few moments before she was in the manor again. She wished her thoughts would stop jumping around, she was starting to get confused.
She watched a few different moments in the manor of Alex attempting to talk to Guy shortly after his arrival, but he had always used the same excuse to get away from her, saying he couldn't get too close to her because of his phobia.
She wondered if it was really because of how they didn't get along in Hod that he never wanted to talk to her. Or maybe it was some other reason.
I'm here tonight
No harm can reach you now
Alex was walking though one of the fields outside the manor when she spotted Guy relaxing alone a little ways away, about twelve years old at the time. She made her way over to him. They exchanged awkward hellos before she sat down. Guy was staring at her, as if wanting to ask her why she was there, while she stared straight ahead, probably trying desperately to think of something they could talk about.
Finally, she mentioned an experiment she had heard about in regards to fontech, and Guy looked at her with curiosity as she told him about it. He asked her a few questions about it, seeming to find the topic interesting, and she tried to explain it more with a little difficulty since she hadn't actually known much about it. But she was happy that she could finally talk to him without him making an excuse and leaving.
She remembered him saying something in the Meggiora Highlands Sephiroth. She pictured his smiling face and shining eyes when she remembered the words.
"Living in Kimlasca has opened my eyes to the wonders of fon machinery!"
Was it because of her mentioning a few projects that she really had no interest in that he got so into fontech? If so...she had created a monster. But it would explain why he was always talking her ear off about fon machinery at the manor when he got the chance. In fact she and Luke often had to pawn him off on each other so they wouldn't snap on him for going on for too long. Even some of the older maids would let him talk while they did their work, and Alex couldn't count how many times she'd seen him chatting happily about the wonders of fontech to Pere as he tended to the flowers.
She also realized that ever since that day, they'd gotten closer. Guy had finally let her past the barrier he'd had around himself since arriving at the manor. He'd been considerably more cheerful to everyone too in the coming years since he'd found a hobby.
Alex returned her attention to what was happening, just as she sat down next to Guy, but far enough from him that he didn't freak out. He looked at her for a moment.
"Miss Alexandra-"
"I told you to just call me Alex."
Guy's eye twitched slightly, and he turned his head away from her, muttering, "Such a butchering..."
She tilted her head, "I'm sorry?"
He looked back at her, startled that she had heard him, "Oh. It's nothing, I just think Alexandra sounds better."
There was a slight pause between them.
"Thanks, I guess. But I don't like it when people address me by my full name. It always feels a bit awkward to me when they do. Only Mother, Father, and Ramdas call me Alexandra."
He nodded slowly, "Okay... Then I guess I'll call you Alex."
"Thank-you."
The sun will rise
And you and I'll be safe and sound
"Here. Happy birthday."
He handed her the wrapped package before sitting down next to her in the same spot they had been in the previous memory, only they were a couple years older now. Guy appeared to be almost fifteen, and Alex had just turned fourteen.
They were on much better terms than they had been in the last memory; they had grown really close over the few years since the day Alex had mentioned fon technology to him. Only Luke was missing from the trio.
Alex unwrapped the package and a cute, stuffed rappig about the size of her head fell out. It had a brown ring around its eye and a single, large brown spot on its back.
"Sorry I didn't get you something better-"
"I will name him Steve!" Alex announced happily, lifting the rappig into the air and cutting across him. She was officially worse than Emperor Peony at naming rappigs, she had heard many tales from Jade about the Emperor's crazy pets.
It looked like Guy was resisting the urge to facepalm, "Steve? Seriously?"
"What's wrong with Steve?"
"What's right with Steve? You'll have to excuse me for thinking that I shouldn't let you even suggest a name for any child of mine, if I ever get over my phobia, that is."
"Hey! I think I would put a lot more thought and effort into naming an actual child! I wouldn't name any human Steve anyway," she paused and turned her head away from him, "I've actually always thought Isabell was a nice name, if I ever have a daughter..."
When she turned her head back to face him, she noticed that he was no longer smiling at her. His facial expression was one of shock. She couldn't blame him for that look now.
"What is it?"
"Nothing…" he replied, taking a moment to regain his composure, plastering a soft smile on his face, "It's just that that name is actually nice."
"Shut up," she heard herself laugh, "Alright, fine. If it means that much to you, I won't name him Steve…"
Guy merely smiled bemusedly at her as she started to think of more names.
"How about Bob?"
Guy raised an eyebrow at her, "Really?"
"Timothy?"
"That's...better, I guess."
"Yggdrasil?"
"...What?"
"Well, come on, Guy! Help me out here if you're so much better at this!"
Guy laughed, "Okay, okay. How about...Noah?"
Alex's view shifted down to the stuffed rappig in her hands for a moment, "Okay, so you are good at this. Noah it is."
Guy smirked a little at her, "I can't believe you're making such a big deal out of naming a stuffed animal."
"Excuse me? You're the one who wouldn't let me name him Steve!"
She still had Noah somewhere in her room back in Baticul, and she made a mental note to collect it along with some other things before going to Grand Chokmah.
Then she suddenly remembered that she had missed Guy's birthday with all that had happened. He was twenty-one now and she hadn't even noticed! She would have to find a way to make up for that.
"What's that one do?"
She was side-tracked from her thoughts when a new scene played out. They were in Guy and Pere's room this time, Alex was sitting on Guy's bed while he sat at the table in the middle of the room, playing around with a small fon machine.
As he went into a long-winded explanation, Alex knew that she wasn't really paying attention to a word he said. She would never admit it, but she did sometimes like watching him talk about fontech, just because of how happy he looked when he did. She was happy he had something to be so passionate about.
You'll be just fine
Suddenly she was in the abandoned factory standing next to Natalia as she and Luke argued about whether or not they would become part of the group. She was paying no attention to the argument, and saw only the disappointed look on Guy's face before she was staring at the ground. Alex knew that he would quickly get over her breaking her promise, but she still felt awful receiving that look from him.
She saw quick flashes of their journey after that. The whole struggle of the Zao Ruins when they went to get Ion from the God-Generals, Luke pulling his sword on Tear in Chesedonia, and later Guy shoving Luke over because of the curse slot.
Soon she was watching as the group made their way through the Deo Pass.
"Hey, random question. Do you ever have those moments where you'll be thinking about something that some people may find weird or dark or whatever, and then you stop and think, 'Oh wait, what if someone can hear my thoughts right now?'"
Alex remembered asking this question even after months had passed. It was shortly after a still-long-haired Luke had made an obnoxious comment about Ion, and Alex had tried to change the subject. More to keep everyone entertained than anything else, since they were all still upset about the comment Luke had made, and worried about Akzeriuth on top of that.
Guy gave her a confused look and Jade chuckled a little in front of them.
"You know," Guy replied, shifting his gaze to Jade's back, "I've had those moments a lot more often since meeting Jade."
Alex laughed, "Yeah, I can get that."
Everyone except for Jade all turned their heads to look at them, expressions somewhere between confusion and entertainment.
"Wh-what?" Alex asked, "Did we say something weird?"
"If anyone said something weird, it was you," Guy said as Alex rolled her eyes, "Why did you ask anyway?"
"Well excuse me for trying to keep us entertained. This trip would go a lot faster if we talked more rather than walking in complete silence all the time, you know. I hate to sound like Luke, but it gets boring."
"Hey!"
The scenery changed yet again, and the group was taking a break, still in the Deo Pass. The majority of them were watching as Tear scolded Luke about something.
"Amazing," Alex suddenly said.
"What is?" Natalia asked.
"We've been dealing with Luke for years and had no success with him, and then Tear comes along and in a mere few weeks she's got him whipped! How did she do that?"
Natalia didn't look too pleased with the topic. She was probably jealous, since back then she thought her engagement was to the Luke currently being scolded, and not to Asch.
Guy laughed, "Yeah, I wondered the same thing when I met her too. I wouldn't bring it up around Tear though. She doesn't like it."
"Why?" she heard herself ask, and her head turned to face him, "What would she even do if I did bring it up?"
"Well... I don't know what she would do to you, but she hugged me..." he replied, shuddering at the memory.
She started laughing, and Alex couldn't see anything for a few moments as her past-self had closed her eyes because she was laughing so hard.
"It's not funny!"
"Alright," Alex replied, opening her eyes again. Her vision was slightly blurred from tears of mirth, but they were wiped away before long, "Okay, I'm sorry."
"I don't think you have the right to laugh at Luke about being whipped anyway, Guy," Anise shrugged, "You seem to be the same way with Alex."
Guy forced a laugh, "Well yeah, I am her servant, Anise."
"That's true," Ion said, "But it doesn't seem like that has anything to do with it."
"What are you talking about?" Alex asked.
"Our relationship is the same as the one I have with Luke," Guy said.
"Oh?" Anise asked slyly, "I haven't seen you flirt with Luke..."
Jade let out a laugh as Guy started to blush and glared a little at the girl.
"We're not flirting!" Guy protested, "Besides, I have a phobia remember? How would that ever work?"
"Aww, come on!" Anise said, "I think it's sweet! Alex falling in love with one of her servants, and then the whole phobia thing is a great obstacle for you to overcome! It's like something right out of a romantic novel!"
Alex face-palmed.
More scenes played out, and Alex watched as Akzeriuth was destroyed, felt a jolt of guilt as she watched John sink into the mantle once again. She watched, not being able to do or say anything, as Luke found out he was a replica, and then Guy attempting to comfort her as she had a mini-freak out about Asch being her 'real brother' in Yulia City. If only she could go back to that time and tell herself that that was nothing compared to what was to come.
She heard herself ask why Guy hadn't freaked out about all the fontech in Yulia City, to which he replied that he hadn't really noticed, and that he was more focused on the fact that they were suddenly underneath the planet's crust and what had happened to Akzeriuth to think about the fontech.
"It's driving you crazy, isn't it?"
"…Yeah."
You're safe tonight
She watched as the drunk man from Port Belkend made his advances on her, and Guy pulled his sword on the man. It was still surprising to see him do something like that. She listened as the two of them argued about whether or not what he did was necessary, and wished that there was some way she could have just erased that whole incident from the past.
The following week went by as if it was being fast-forwarded, and she found herself wanting to take back everything she had said to him in Aramis Spring, and hating how they had ignored each other for days afterward.
Then she was having that snowball fight with Anise and the kids in the plaza in Keterburg, though her heart wasn't really in it at the time. She noticed Guy walking by the plaza and stopping to watch with Ion for a bit as she went to throw a snowball, she froze mid-throw before she made eye contact with him and he moved on. Before she knew it she was on the ground in Theor Forest as Guy and Luke held off the soldier that had tried to attack her after she tripped. She remembered how she'd wanted to thank Guy and just make up then and there, but the curse slot had gotten in the way.
She was happy again when they made up in Grand Chokmah, after everyone found out Guy was from Hod and she had tackled him to the ground.
Then suddenly she was walking through the Zao Ruins Sephiroth with Jade, Anise, and Guy walking in front of her.
"Ohhh..." Anise whined, "We've been walking forever! Why aren't we there yet?"
"Well," Guy sighed, he looked slightly annoyed with all the walking as well, "It seems like we've been walking more because we're actually going deeper into the ruins than we did before..."
Anise pouted, "I can't stand this! Colonel, could you carry me on the way out of this place?"
Her puppy dog eyes had no effect on him, "I'm afraid not. But I believe I heard Guy say he would be willing to carry you."
Though Alex was watching the scenes through her past-self's eyes, she would have raised an eyebrow at Jade had she been able to. She was certain her past-self was already doing that anyway though.
"Really?" Anise asked. Alex could practically hear the grin on her face, "Guy, you would really - wait, you can't, can you?"
"Well, as much as I'd like to..."
Anise sighed, "Fine, I guess there's not much you can do about your 'special condition'."
Alex coughed to hide her laugh.
"'Special condition' huh?" Guy asked with a small smile, "Well, maybe I just need a special lady to condition me."
The others stopped walking and looked at him as if to ask, 'Really?' and then slowly shifted their gazes to Alex, their expressions staying the same.
"There is no way I am being connected to that line," Alex deadpanned.
"So I care about you! ... Is that so bad?"
Before she could even get used to suddenly being in front of Sheridan's town hall, she was suddenly in Tataroo Valley, after Guy had just saved Anise from falling to her death.
"I...care...about you too."
"Does that mean you're going to tell me what's been bothering you?"
The scene started to fade again as she let out a quiet laugh.
"No, I don't think so. Not now anyway."
The group was taking a break in the flower bed atop Tataroo Valley, and Alex was off on her own, watching the others and looking at the flowers. For a while all she could hear was the sound of the ocean and the others talking, and in Luke and Tear's case, arguing, before-
"Here."
She looked up and saw Guy standing before her, holding out a plate with a small piece of cake on it.
"Thanks..." she said, taking it from him, "Where did-?"
"Tear made it in Sheridan, apparently. She said Tamara gave her the recipe. It's pretty good, and you don't look like you've been eating properly lately."
She looked down at the cake, trying to ignore the last bit of that sentence.
"So you got away from Anise then?"
Guy laughed, "Yeah. With some help from Ion."
She looked up from her cake and noticed that once again Tear was giving Luke the silent treatment, much to his distaste. He looked upset that she was ignoring him.
"What did he do this time?" she asked Guy, not looking away from them.
"He made a big deal about how surprising it was that Tear baked a cake."
"...Moron."
Guy laughed, "Yeah, he's not exactly the brightest is he?"
"Yeah..." there was a pregnant pause between them that even making fun of Luke couldn't fill, and Alex had to think of something to say, "Sheridan has a capacity core shop, right? I still need to get a new one." Alex remembered how her sword and capacity core were taken away when she was being held in Baticul and she had to get new ones.
"Oh, yeah that's right," Guy said, suddenly pulling something out of his pocket. A shiny new capacity core hanging from some blue string, very similar to the one she'd had before then.
Alex's eyes widened a little as he handed it to her, "You didn't have to-"
"Don't worry about it," he interrupted, holding up a hand, "You needed one."
The sun will shine
"Wait!" Anise cried, spinning to look at Alex and Guy as they made their way through Mt. Zaleho, "You guys are moving in together?"
There was a pause as everyone turned to look at them, and they froze on the spot.
"Well?" Anise asked, her eyes sparkling.
"U-um, well-"
"Does this mean you two are finally dating?" Anise asked with a giggle, "Congratulations, Guy! I guess you really are over your phobia!"
"N-no!" he protested, "We're not dating. I just thought that-"
"If you aren't a couple," Natalia crossed her arms, looking unimpressed. Alex still didn't understand why that was. "Then why would you be moving in together? It seems inappropriate."
"So Guy got you to defect to Malkuth, huh?" Luke asked.
Alex felt like facepalming, "Luke, I'm going to give you a second to think about that question before I point out how ridiculously stupid it was."
"R-right. I keep forgetting you're actually from Malkuth..."
"I'm happy for you two!" Mieu squeaked suddenly, hopping up and down on beside Luke.
"Th-thanks, Mieu..." Guy said uncertainly, "Could we drop this for now and maybe get moving again? I don't want to stay in here any longer than we have to."
Then she was in Mt. Roneal again, being carried by Guy. She was happy that he really was starting to get over his phobia. When she thought about it, that broken ankle really wasn't such a bad thing...Though things would have gone much smoother for everybody had the two of them not fallen off the side of the mountain in the first place. She still had no idea what was going on.
And surely you'll be safe and sound
She heard Guy call her name once more, and the scene before her changed once again into Guy asking her to live with him.
As the scene continued, she began to hear the others' voices as well. They all sounded panicked for some reason.
Before she even had time to wonder why they sounded so panicked, she felt an incredible pain in her side that forced her thoughts out of her mind. The scene around her shattered, and she was left alone in darkness.
She lay there on her back, her head slightly levitated, not knowing how she had even gotten into that position. The pain dulled, but was now spread throughout her entire body rather than just the side. Her head was swimming - she was sure that if she could see in the darkness, her vision would be extremely blurry.
The voices of her friends continued to echo around her.
She vaguely realized something warm and damp was flowing down her side, where the pain was the most intense. She tried to move her arm to feel it and find out what it was, but the limb was far too heavy. She managed to raise it a couple inches into the air before it fell limply next to her side again. The pain was beginning to subside, and with it, any sense of awareness that Alex still had.
She closed her eyes and took a deep, staggering breath.
Was this death? She didn't want to die… There was still so much in her life she had wanted to do, so much she'd had to look forward to.
She heard Guy's voice calling her name once again, much clearer this time, more desperate. She imagined his face, and Isabell's as well. What would their reactions be if she died?
She forced her heavy eyelids to open again, and this time she saw a lot of white, accompanied with the blurred outlines of who she was sure were her friends. She was sure that was Guy's hair she was seeing over her head anyway.
She tried to move her body again, but to no avail. She didn't want to die here. She couldn't die here. Not like this.
Not when she was finally going to live her own life.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far, particularly my repeat reviewers! You guys keep me going!