AN: Haha! Hey, guys! Did we all have an awesome Christmas? I would like to admit my lameness-I fell asleep so early that I skipped the actual partying and drinking. Ah well. I always did like the New Years Party better. :))
: Oh, well, I'd like to say that in my story, Mihawk's got a lot of depth. We'll see how he progresses. XD Haha, Sanji's complaints actually reflected mine because I had a similar experience. Using him as a tool for venting was fun. Oh, and sword fight? Hmm... That idea sells. XD
Voquo: Oh, were you having a rough time? I'm glad to know I lightened up your day. :) Sanji's interactions with Mihawk were fun to write about, so when I made the omake, I was really enjoying myself. :)) To Barcelona! ...But before we get to Sanji and Mihawk, let's head to the main character's ADORABLE little brother. :D
AlzheaXei: Try and count the number of times that he mentioned Ace in this chapter. HAHA. Then, in future chapters, record the number of times Luffy will mention the name "Ace." :)) Stuffing his brain cells with Ace? The process is just beginning. Yes, whether in this AU story or in the anime, Zoro will always be a MAJOR dick to Sanji. Wow, you were reading about beautiful Barcelona? WHAT a coincidence. :)) Well, Sanji can try and castrate Krieg. Let's see if he can. XD
Purplechicken21: -eats the cookie- Thanks! (even if I know I got fat this Christmas. HAHA. XD) Let us both rally behind Sanji. -still has the machine gun-
heavensentskysky: Thanks! XD
Tropicall: And here's some MOOAAA! HAHA. XD French!Mihawk is fun to use. :DD Sanji going French was fun, too! XD Luffy's inauguration? It's getting there! Except, to be a member, though... Ah. I'll just place it down in the next chapter. :)) SUSPENSE.
Whiteinu1: Oh, if only Zoro could do that without getting into any sort of trouble from his three friends. XD
AND SINCE I'm LATE in giving this to you guy on Christmas day, I'll make it up to you by saying Merry Christmas in different languages... through the characters available! XD Yosh! Let's begin!
Ace: (British style) Happy Christmas!
Luffy: (Portuguese) Feliz Natal!
Usopp and Zoro: (Japanese) Meri Kurisumasu!
Nami: (American style) Merry Christmas!
Sanji and Mihawk: (French) Joyeaux Noël!
Robin: (Spanish) Feliz Navidad.
Shanks: Blimey! Ace already got English style... Ah, bloody hell! Italian for me! Buon Natale!
Marco: I guess I have no choice... huh? Well... -Canadian accent- Merry Christmas, eh.
And from me, in Filipino: Maligayang Pasko! :D
Juzo: HAPPY NEW YEARS! -gets shot by Marco- x_x
And, now... to the chapter. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years, guys. XD
Twenty Second Bite ~ Monkey D. Luffy
R.P. King: HI
xxwhite_firexx: Hey, what's up? :)
R.P. King: lol, i cAm3 h0Me fr0m $ch00l 2Day n iM dnOE w/ My hW…
R.P. King: am b0r3D N0w…:/
xxwhite_firexx: Really? At least you're done. I'm still doing my homework. It's just online research, haha.
R.P. King: 0k :o m i boD3rInG u?
xxwhite_firexx: No, not at all. :) How was school, by the way? The usual? What about the guy with the funny nose? Is he still giving you a hard time?
R.P. King: n0 :)) iM 3atiNg GUm cLas5 $o i w0nt 5leep
R.P. King: h3 didnt catch m3 yet!111! :)))
xxwhite_firexx: Nice one! The last time I ate gum in class was during first year. Never got caught. XD What else happened in your school today?
R.P. King: i dUnN0 y but Th3r3 l0ts 0F fiGHtnG $ch00L…
R.P. King: it L0okz fUn bUT I D0nt LIK3 mY fr31ndz 2 b3 PckD on DDDD:
xxwhite_firexx: What? How did that happen?
R.P. King: i dUNn0
R.P. King: my fr13nDz k33p t3LLinG m3 BuT I aLWayZ 4g3T
R.P. King: _ i d0NT r3m3Mb3r aLL!1111~~
xxwhite_firexx: :)) Just stay out of trouble, alright? I don't want you to get involved.
R.P. King: :o 0k
R.P. King: but A buCnH 0f bULllyz caM3 2 b3aT m3 uP 2day
R.P. King: IM n0t Inv0lv3d rYt?
xxwhite_firexx: Wait, what? Seriously?
R.P. King: yAh :0
R.P. King: th3r3s Di$ r3alLy Nic3 gUY wh0 H3lpD me!111! :DDDD
R.P. King: nd h3s r3aLlY sTr0nG!11!~ :DDDDDDDDDD
R.P. King: h3 b3aT A BUllY w/ 1 pAwNch!1111~~~~ :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
R.P. King: FaLC0n pAWnCH!111! :))))))))))))))
xxwhite_firexx: Wow! Haha, what a coincidence! I had to help someone today since there were a few guys in my school who were being complete assholes to him and his batch.
xxwhite_firexx: :)) Are we from the same school or something?
R.P. King: LOL
R.P. King: i CnT t3lL u ThT :))))
xxwhite_firexx: Haha. XD Well, stay out of trouble, alright?
R.P. King: : o 0k
R.P. ^_^ GUe$$ WHAT?11111!
xxwhite_firexx: What? :)
R.P. King: di$mi$aL tIM3, mY Cla55mAt3$ 5aiD tHeiR mAKinG a fAnCluB 4 d GuY wh0 H3lpd m3 nd tH3y wNAt mE 2 B Pre5id3nt!111 5hulD i?
xxwhite_firexx: Why not? Sounds like fun! :) I'm sure this person will be happy.
xxwhite_firexx: Lucky! I wouldn't mind having my own fan club to support me.
R.P. King: ^_^
R.P. King: huh… text langugae is tiring!11! imma stop nao
R.P. King: my friend from sogeking who lives in the philipines taght it 2 me, so i wanted 2 try!
xxwhite_firexx: :))
R.P. King: im hungry nao :o
xxwhite_firexx: :)) Nice. Why don't you grab something to eat?
R.P. King: im grabbng my mouse :o
Xxwhite_firexx: :))
I scratched my head in wonder. How would grabbing my mouse feed me? It wasn't food, was it?
I ended up sniffing my mouse. It didn't smell like food, so it definitely wasn't food. I groaned at the feeling of my stomach. Maybe xxwhite_firexx wanted me to grab something else.
I tapped on the keyboard, "brb." Maybe I could let xxwhite_firexx finish his homework first, and while he did that, I could grab something else to eat. My tummy wasn't happy at all.
When I arrived at my kitchen, I pulled the fridge door open and peeked in, seeing a pitcher of water, a box of baking soda and an egg. There was also a carton of milk on the side. I took the milk carton, rattled it gently and checked the date like Uncle Ben would always tell me to do. May seven—wasn't that yesterday? Next, I picked up the egg, holding it close. It had a funny smell—a really, really funny smell.
I cracked the egg and watched the mess splatter on the floor before getting a better sniff of it. Yup, it had a 'bad food' smell. I gathered up the wet and sticky ooze which was caught between my fingers and rinsed it from my hands at the sink. While washing, I began to pout. No food, only water—would I survive the night?
I thought about it. Maybe I wouldn't be this hungry if that Belly guy hadn't jumped on me today. If only I could do that food-catching-tray-move from the first Spider Man movie. How did he do it, anyway? I wanted to learn it because it looked useful, except instead of using a tray, I'd just catch the food with my mouth. That would be cooler.
I groaned while collapsing on my bed, lying down behind my laptop. My stomach began to hurt even more. I just remembered—I forgot to do the groceries. Maybe I should call Shanks, but what if he's busy drinking? I should call Uncle Ben instead.
I buried my head between my pillows. I didn't know that living by myself would be this hard. Sure, it was fun at first, but I was used to having my old caretaker, Dadan, make my dinner. I missed her, but Shanks couldn't always afford to pay for Dadan's monthly wages, so I had to say goodbye to her.
I missed grandpa, too—even if he was mean to me sometimes. Like, there was this one time when he bought me an ice cream bowl, and I was so happy, but then he threw it away after I had one spoon. He said it wasn't healthy, but I thought that throwing away ice cream like that was unhealthier.
I whimpered. That was a terrible memory! The thought of that made my stomach ache more.
I closed my eyes for a moment. I always believed that if I'd dream, I could do anything. I could ride my flying pirate ship and sail through the skies, have awesome powers, and I could even stretch like rubber. Most importantly, in my dreams, I could always eat.
I started to imagine everything. There were thirty-two ounce steaks, roast beef, sirloin, prime rib, a few T-Bones, grilled pork chops, chicken tenders, turkey legs, lamb kebabs, pastrami, roast pork, meat balls, barbecued bulgogi, and everything else that I could ask for in an all-meat buffet. There were even sidings like mashed potatoes, mozzarella sticks, nachos, squid rings, rice, all kinds of sauces, Cream of mushroom soup, chicken wings, French fries, steak and chili fries, risotto, different types of pasta, spring rolls, pizza, sushi, and a lot more. I also imagined that at the very center, there was that magical soda fountain that I've always dreamt of ever since I was a kid. All I needed to think of now was the dessert.
Uh-oh, dreaming got me even hungrier. I opened my eyes, sighed and pouted again. Stupid Belly-guy! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Good thing Ace got to beat him up.
Hold on! I remembered someone important—Ace! I immediately sat up and then checked my cellphone's contacts. He was the very first person on my list.
Oh yeah! He gave me his number! I could call him for help, but what if he's busy? Then again, he said I could call him for anything and if I'd need help, right? Maybe if I was lucky, he wouldn't be busy, and so I could ask him if he could cook dinner for me. If he wanted, he could ask me for anything in return—because I learned that nothing's for free in this world, and it wasn't like he was family or anything.
So, I was ready to press the call button, but just as I was about to, I could hear ringing. The beat was moving up and down repeatedly. It sounded so nice and cheerful, a sound that I've always loved ever since I was little. That sound could only be the signal for one person.
"The Ice Cream Man!" My head swung towards my laptop screen. The Ice Cream Man was Skype-ing me!
I immediately hit the answer button. "One chocolate fudge and vanilla sundae with extra chocolate syrup, chocolate and rainbow sprinkles, nuts, brownie bits, wafer sticks, buttercups, cookies, mochi, New York cheese cake, extra whipped cream, an extra scoop of both vanilla and chocolate ice cream—and maybe even cookie dough flavored ice cream—and no cherries, please? On a large candy cone? I also want one root beer float on the side, please!"
"Goddammit, Luffy. I'm not the fucking Ice Cream Man." Oh, it's just Kidd.
The video finished loading, and then I saw Kidd's face on screen. I took note of his surroundings, but the one thing that caught my eye was the fridge at the back.
So, Kidd was working for the Ice Cream Man! "Hi, Kidd! Can I have some ice cream? I'll pay you back sometime!"
Kidd rolled his eyes. "No, I don't have any ice cream—"Boo, I guess he ran out of ice cream, "—Did you even eat dinner yet, Luffy?"
"Nope!" I replied cheerily.
"Oi, Kidd! Is Luffy online?" Someone else from the back yelled. That sounded like Urogue.
"Yeah, I got him!" Kidd shouted towards the side.
"Did he eat dinner?" Urogue asked.
"Nah, he didn't!"
"Whaa—at? Luffy's starving? Luffy, give me your address, okay?" I thought that was Bonney I heard!
"Pay up, Apoo. I told you he'd be starving at the city," I guessed that that was Apoo who grumbled as Drake spoke, "Kidd! Point him over to my side! I'm still playing!"
"Yeah, yeah, Drake-tos." The view changed, and I felt so jumpy. All my friends were there!
Drake was playing God of War II, Bonney was eating while flipping through the delivery pages, Apoo was going through his wallet, and Urogue was busy lifting weights. From the corner, I could see Killer silently waving hi. "Hi, guys!" I grinned, waving back.
"Ruff-ri!" Bonney was munching, "Frib bro mrumbor!"
"Huh? My lumber?" I tilted my head, "I don't have any lumber!"
Bonney swallowed a large bite of her burger. "There's a Five Star Burger branch at Grand Line City, and you do know that I have connections! Just give me your address and phone number, and you can pay me back the next time you get over here."
"Thanks, Bonney!" I smiled. At least dinner's solved, I thought while giving my address and phone number. This meant that I didn't have to bother Ace, and that was a good thing, right?
Kidd reappeared, sitting directly behind the screen. "So, Luffy, how's life over there at Grand Line?"
"A little hard, but it's really fun!" I smiled, stretching and then relaxing myself at a comfortable position. I had my head on my pillows and my laptop on my stomach.
Drake managed to pause from his game. "We heard from Kidd about everything. How's your friends there?"
"Waaa! He replaced us?" Bonney ended up hugging Urogue who was in the process of lifting something huge.
"Oi! Oi! Oi! Bonney!" Urogue seemed to be wobbling while Bonney continued to lean on him.
"Bonney, shut the fuck up and stop crying. He never said that!" Kidd shot towards Bonney who gave him the "I'm-like-a-four-year old-with-a-big-boo-boo" face.
"I sense jealousy." Apoo smirked. Kidd threw a dirty sock at Apoo who managed to dodge this, and the sock ended up landing on Drake's head just when he started to play again.
"F-Fuck!" Drake jumped from his seat, the control flying. Then, from the screen, I saw Kratos getting killed by some big guy with lightning bolts.
"You're Dead," the words flashed.
"Oh my fucking Zeus—Eustass C. Kidd!" Haha—whenever Drake was mad, I always thought that he looked like he was going to turn into a giant dinosaur and chew on Kidd's head!
"Zeus don't play no games, motherfucker." Kidd raised two middle fingers, and then "Dino Mode" Drake tackled him right after.
"Go get him, Drake-y!" Bonney cheered.
"Kidd, hit him where it hurts—and then get mymoney back for me!" Apoo quickly added.
"Guys, guys! I'm still carrying this!" Urogue was wobbling like jelly when Kidd and Drake slammed themselves against him by accident. I laughed, suddenly wishing that I could join in. Fighting Kidd and Drake together was fun, you know!
I glanced at Killer, next. He was reading a book which covered his face. Even until now, I've never seen Killer's face. "Hey, Killer! What 'cha reading?" I asked.
The fighting stopped. Everyone paused from what they were doing and looked at Killer. Killer lowered the book, his face behind his favorite hockey mask this time. He must have come home from hockey practice or something.
If you're all wondering why we were staring at Killer like that, it's because he's doing something—and that could mean a lot of things!
Killler's the new guy in our group. At first, he was really quiet and he wouldn't do much, but Kidd and I thought of keeping him around anyway since no one would hang out with him at school. I thought he was just getting used to East Blue. Kidd thought that he's mute which was why he doesn't speak.
So, for a long time, we kept him with us. We didn't know his real name, how his voice sounded or how his face looked. He'd just stay by our side, and even if we asked him stuff, he'd either nod or shake his head.
"Do you think he's an alien?" I asked Kidd once.
"Aliens don't exist, Luffy." Kidd pushed my shoulder.
I laughed. "But, he makes me think of one 'cause I think he's cool." Kidd didn't agree with me. He said that aliens would have brains sticking out of their heads, and they wouldn't wear hockey masks everyday.
One time, it was summer and we were all bored. That was when we noticed Killer. He was looking at the distance.
"Hey, dude. What 'cha looking at?" Drake then stood by Killer's side, peering at the same view. Because we were all so bored, we ended up doing this together. Then, from there, we saw a man posting a "Help Wanted" sign at the beach's shake shack.
"Guys, I know what we can do!" Kidd, being our leader, jumped up, "We'll earn some cash, and then we'll use the money right after for some fun time!"
"Milkshakes? Yummy!" Bonney's eyes twinkled. Killer looked at us now, and to our surprise, he nodded.
Urogue snapped his fingers. "Guys," he said, "I think that's what this guy was trying to tell us!"
"Great idea, uhh—you!" Apoo patted Killer on the back, "Thanks!"
We didn't have a real name for him, but from that point on, we decided to name him "Killer" since he killed boredom. He even watched over all of us, and gave us the best ideas when we didn't know what to do.
Now, Drake walked to Killer's side, blinking. "Hey, Killer! You're looking at the strategy guide?" Killer looked at him and nodded. Drake blinked again and picked up the book, reading the entire page. "Holy shit—this strategy might actually work!" Killer nodded again as Drake rushed to his seat, dropping the strategy guide and handling the controller. Zeus died after a while. I laughed at this—Killer just did it again!
"Atta go, Killer!" Kidd grinned as Killer retreated towards the window, "Well, as you can see," he turned to me, "Thing's are pretty normal around here. What happened to you today?"
"Oh, well, there were a bunch of guys at school who attacked me during lunch," I mentioned.
"What? Did you beat them up?" he asked.
"Nope! Someone else did!" Then, I told everyone the entire thing. Most of them were pissed, but Kidd was the one who had the "Ace-senpai' looks so pissed-off" look. I didn't feel bad about it anymore since dinner was coming soon, so I tried to make them feel better.
"Oi, Luffy! You can't hide behind some junior forever!" Apoo said. Was he talking about Ace?
"Yeah, Luffy. You're the only one who can beat me to a pulp, so don't go humiliating yourself over there, got that?" Kidd said while crossing his arms.
"O—kay!" I saluted with a smile.
"We believe in you, Luffy!" Urogue added while pausing from his weights.
"Hey, guys! Killer's looking at something again—Hey! Isn't that the new yogurt place?" Drake pointed at Killer who was reading some newspaper ad which was on the table. Sometimes, I thought that Drake could understand mute language.
"Yogurt?" Bonney jumped up, excited.
"Hey, cool! We can bring Luffy over there this summer to make him feel better!" Kidd snapped his fingers, "Plus, working there can be our part-time job for this summer!"
"Aww! I wanna work part time there with you guys, too!" I sighed, remembering my last summer job with them at this burger joint. Urogue would stop me and Bonney from eating all the food, Kidd and Drake would have a fight at the kitchen, Apoo would switch music from time to time, Killer would be standing by the drive-thru while wearing a cow costume and even Hawkins would get his extra cash by playing with his magic cards for any customer who'd go to him. Hey, wait a second—
I blinked, counting all of my friends before realizing that someone was missing. "Guys, where's Hawkins?" No wonder it was so quiet! I wasn't hearing any strange riddles!
"Oh, Hawkins?" Kidd blinked, "Poor guy's sick again, so he couldn't come to school today. He told me to say 'hi' to you, anyway."
I beamed. "Tell him I said 'hi,' too!"
"Drake, where's your stereo?" Apoo yelled.
"Shut it!" I heard Drake yell, "I'm playing Modern Warfare 2 this time!"
"God," Kidd rolled his eyes.
Kidd signed off after we did a lot of talking. He left his adaptor back at his place, and he was already running out of battery power for his Macbook. Drake could have lent him his charger, but he didn't because he was still pissed at Kidd who pulled the plug of the PS3.
"It was getting too damn noisy," Kidd complained to me while rubbing his temple.
Before he logged off, Kidd asked when I'd come and visit East Blue. "Once you come over, we've got a lot to do," he promised.
"Uh-huh, and you can owe me for the take-out, too!" Bonney added. Haha—that rhymed!
My dinner arrived minutes ago, and while I was eating, I felt homesick or whatever they called it. I never starved this much at East Blue. My friends and I would eat out a lot, and I loved eating with them—especially at Bonney's place since Mrs. Jewelry would make the best dinner for all of us.
While chomping on my cheeseburger with portobello mushrooms, I returned to my Yahoo! Messenger window. I bet xxwhite_firexx was done with his homework by now.
R.P. King: im back!11! :DDDDD
No reply. I ate nine more cheeseburgers before checkingif he responded yet. He didn't.
R.P. King: hello? DDDDDDDD:
I waited a little while longer before giving up and then grabbing my phone to call Uncle Ben, so I could ask him about my groceries. "Hello, Uncle Ben? It's me, Luffy!" I greeted when he finally picked up.
That was weird. I told him to wait. He didn't log out, but his status was "Idle" now. He didn't even leave one "brb" or "g2g!" I bit my lip, getting all worried even if I didn't know why I should.
What happened to him?
~*~ Omake ~*~
Earlier that night…
Ace: -sighs- Another day, another set of homework for me to do. Let's get to work and—
-Yahoo! Messenger Instant Message tone heard-
Ace: Oh! Who could that be?
silverhairstud: 'Sup? We still good for the weekend?
Ace: What the—? Who is this?
silverhairstud: Was able to get some time off work. Can't wait to see you.
Ace: …
silverhairstud: We have the place reserved for ourselves this weekend.
silverhairstud: Just you, me, and a lot of food and drinking.
silverhairstud: Hope you can stay all night like I can—if you know what I mean.
silverhairstud: And, I'm bringing my cat because I know you just love that cat.
Ace: . . . Oh!
xxwhite_firexx: Smoker! That you, hot stuff? I didn't know you cared! :)
silverhairstud: …
silverhairstud: Fuck.
silverhairstud has signed out. (5/7/2009 6:39 PM)
AN: I'd just like to say... The chat between Ace and Luffy was my CHANCE to write stupidly and be forgiven for it. XD Heads up to the Filipinos who're reading this! You know what kind of text language I'm referring to... :))) (Just saying, I DON'T text like that. I cringe at the thought.)
Dammit, Kidd! You have bad timing! He was JUST about to have a conversation with his OLDER BROTHER! Haha. XD Not bothering Ace was NOT a good thing, Luffy! Not a good thing for us! Other than that, I just love Luffy's friends from East Blue-particularly Killer. :))
Oh NOEZ! What happened to Ace? Don't tell me Sanji was too late and Ace just got a HEAD SHOT behind screen from the Krieg Family. Oh dears. :(
And on a final note... Lesson learned, Smoker: CHECK the username before typing stuff down. XDDD