A/N: pure CxL goodness for the fans out there! :D

notadreamyetnotanightmare: yes, it definitely DID brighten my day again :) thank you!

my sexy russian: i like to see when people get so engrossed with my story that they start ranting about how they feel, but don't worry too much about it :P i know how everything is going to go, so chill, alright? i think you're getting a bit too uptight o_o i mean, dimitri did seem like a bit of an asshole in the previous chapters, but his actions in the next few chapters is going to change your mind (hopefully).

mina81: yeah, i just recalled that. don't worry, either way, im not letting rose get pregnant.

Christian took another deep breath, this time to steel himself against Lissa's reactions. She was pale, and looked as if she wanted to dive under the blankets for cover – against him, which made his heart clench in sorrow – and he felt his determination deserting him rapidly. He had not even said a single word yet, but she was already acting as if he was a murderer of some sort out to kill her. "Are you sure?" he asked gently, "I can always come back another time, since you're not looking too good – "

"No, Christian," Lissa swung her head from side to side vigorously, her French braid preventing her normally long hair from moving along. "I'm fine. Just. . . say it."

He hesitated, not understanding why she was making it sound as if he was declaring her death parole or something along that line. Did she really detest sex that much? No, that couldn't be, he thought, since she didn't even know for certain what he was about to discuss with her, but whatever optimism he had managed to scrounge up that Lissa would agree to his terms flew out of the proverbial open window.

He cleared his throat and forced his mouth into motion. "I've never been in a relationship before, Lissa. At least not a serious one, because I'm afraid of being tied down. I don't like being the pillar of support; being the one that someone always comes to for solace or comfort. I dread taking on responsibilities. It's just. . . me."

Lissa was looking at him with those magnificent green eyes of hers, but they were wide and somber and there was sadness lurking in its depths. She nodded slightly, blinking furiously. Was she crying? God, Christian ached to wrap his arms around her, to kiss her tears away and feel her cuddling into his side, but he gritted his teeth and kept himself in check.

Trying for a weak smile, Christian continued. "But I'm willing to try it with you, Lissa. I don't know what I'm feeling for you right now, but I have never felt anything as intense as this before, and it both scares the shit outta me and makes me want to make the giant leap into the unknown." His smile widened a little when Lissa tilted her head at him questioningly, as if not truly comprehending what he was saying.

Her eyelashes fluttered once, then twice, as if in confusion. A few short seconds later, she asked. Very quietly. "Are you. . . asking me to be your girlfriend?" The gradually growing speckle of hope in her eloquent eyes almost undid him.

Christian submitted to the urge to reach for her hand, giving her a light squeeze. "Yes." His voice came out hoarse, and he grinned when pure delight spread across Lissa's face at his confirmation.

She all but threw herself at him with what sounded like a choked cry, her head buried in the crook of his neck, her arms around his neck. Her tears came out in earnest now, and her little body convulsed with each ragged inhalation.

Christian patted her back lightly, his heart clenching with such powerful emotion that it felt as if it was expanding to accommodate it. He didn't know why she was crying, but he waited patiently and silently as she sobbed on and on, because he had a hunch that the moment her tears subsided enough for her to speak coherently, she would explain.

And she did.

"Oh, C-Christian," Lissa sobbed, bunching up the material of his T-shirt with her palms, "I thought y-you were going t-to tell me that we weren't going to work out, and – and that – " She sniffed a few times in succession, cutting off her words halfway and Christian wordlessly handed over some pieces of tissue paper which she accepted with a slightly embarrassed smile. After blowing her nose delicately, she peered over the side of her bed to where the rubbish bin was, as if calculating her chances of managing to nail it from where she was seated.

"I'll throw it away," Christian offered.

Lissa bit down on her lower lip, glancing back and forth between the wadded ball of tissue in her hands to Christian, who was looking amused. She knew it was ridiculous, but she didn't want Christian to see the imperfect side of her, much less touch it. "It's fine," she said haltingly, looking away, struck by a bout of shyness. "I need a little bit of exercise to loosen my legs anyway – "

A wistful sigh. "Lissa, do you honestly think that I'm going to be revolted by a small thing like that?" Christian stretched out his hand towards her, palm upwards. "If we're going to be in a relationship, Lissa, we have to be more open with each other." His expression softened and he lowered his voice. "I signed on for the whole package, and not just for the flawless side of you."

And if Lissa wasn't so sure that she was already in love with Christian, she would have fallen for him right that instant.

Tears sprang to her eyes again at his sentimental words, and Christian smiled kindly, replacing the soiled tissue with a new one, which she used to dab at her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered to him, knowing fully well that those two words couldn't even begin to describe how grateful she was.

"Are we still at that stage of pleasantries?" Christian teased affably after disposing of the tissue, seeing that she was close to losing it totally. "I thought we were way over that point by now."

Lissa's lips tilted up on one side, but in a rueful manner. "I guess I'm still in shock," she admitted, interlacing her fingers together in front of her stomach. "I never expected this to happen, though I was definitely hoping for it. . ."

Christian laughed, folding himself back onto the chair, and they lapsed into a companionable silence as they both just stared into each other's eyes. God, he could easily get lost in her beautiful, expressive eyes. . .

Lissa smiled then, and it was so contagious that Christian did too. "As much as I like all this silent communication," she said, her eyes sparkling, "is there something else you would like to talk about?"

Christian thought it over, then nodded. "Yeah, I think you didn't explain to me why you were so upset just now. Not entirely, at least."

Lissa laughed, swatted at his shoulder with her hand playfully. "Like hearing how I'll be as lost as a boat drifting in the vast ocean without you, huh?"

An unrepentant grin. "You can put it that way."

"Jerk." Lissa's smile faded off her lips, and she reclined back against her propped pillow, folding her arms. "What I was trying to say before. . . I was afraid that you were about to tell me that we would be better off not seeing each other anymore. You looked very nervous and unsettled when you walked in, so I just thought that. . . I guess I was jumping to conclusions, because I really enjoy spending time with you, Christian, and I don't want to lose you. And, and, and – " she gulped, feeling tears burning at the back of her eyes – again. Why was she suddenly so emotional?

"Hush, Lissa," Christian whispered, cupping her chin gently and urging her to look up at him. She complied, unable to deny this wonderful man – her man, her mind crowed in triumph – of anything. "I'm not leaving you, not now, and hopefully, not ever." His fingers traced the outline of her cheeks, down to the side of her mouth where he wiped away the drying path of her previously shed tears with the pad of his callused thumb with a tenderness that made it hard for her to breath.

Their gazes found each other and locked, the negligible distance between them pulsing with awareness. "I'm going to kiss you now, Lissa," he murmured, staring at her lips. "If you don't want me to do so, tell me now or. . ."

Lissa didn't trust herself to speak, so she just nodded her permission. Anticipation built and crested within her as Christian drew nearer, giving her plenty of time to back away if she wanted to, but she had no such intentions. She wanted to taste the man that had stolen her heart, the man that drove her crazy with need.

And finally, mercifully, their lips met and Lissa closed her eyes, reveling in the tiny fireworks flowering in her mind, the soft lushness of Christian's lips against hers and the undiluted sweetness of the kiss. He was being infinitely gentle, giving her time, showing her the ropes as he nibbled on her upper lip and sucked on her lower lip as if he guessed – correctly – that she didn't have much experience and needed some encouragement.

Warmth burst into life in her chest, and she hardly registered that she had dove her hands into his hair until she felt his scalp beneath her fingertips. Lissa kissed him back with a fervor that surprised her as her boldness grew with the intoxicating effects of her rising desire, and Christian muttered words of admiration against her lips. By tacit agreement, they broke apart long enough for them to catch a breather and for Christian to shift himself onto the edge of her bed, the only barrier being the bed frame preventing them from full-out contact now removed.

A part of Christian's acknowledged that they were playing with fire and that he should take the initiative by pulling back – he wanted to take it slow with Lissa, didn't he? – but he was too touch-hungry to give a damn any longer.

His lips traversed down her jawline, leaving a trail of fire behind with his teasing kisses. Lissa threw her head back in abandon, her back arching. "Christian," Lissa gasped, and her breathless voice was the sweetest of entreaties, driving him wild, spurring him on further.

"The things you do to me, Lissa. . ." he groaned, running his moist lips over her collarbone as she tried to squirm free and get closer at the same time.

"No," she whispered back, "what you do to me."

He lifted his head and kissed her again, a slow and sexy and sensual kiss that promised a night of wicked and passionate loving. Lissa's was still reeling from the wantonness of her reactions, her heart pounding crazily when Christian pushed himself off her bed, his hair mussed up by her hands. There was a rueful edge to his smile when he saw her look of protest. "As much as I would like for that to continue, I want to take it slow. I want to do you right, Lissa."

"I'm sure you can do me right," she complained without thought, then felt heat creep up her face when she realized how naughty it sounded. "Th-That's not what I meant – " Flustered and mortified, she smothered her face with her pillow in hopes of disappearing into a wisp of smoke.

"I know." There was a smile in his voice. A moment later, his strong fingers pried the pillow free from her hands and he was grinning down at her. "There's no need to be shy with me, sweetheart."

"I can't help it," Lissa said, snatching back the pillow that rightfully belonged to hers, "this is all new to me, and it will take me awhile to adjust to all of this."

"Take all the time you need," Christian said, and he looked almost sorry about what he said. "But don't take too long." He added a second later.

Lissa blinked, trying to figure out his contradicting words when Christian's phone started ringing, and he casted her an apologetic look before picking it up.

"Yeah, Dimitri?" Glancing at Lissa, he put some distance between them and lowered his voice so that she couldn't hear what he was saying. Lissa didn't try to eavesdrop – being in a relationship with him meant that she had to trust him, and she believed that Christian won't keep anything important from her.

A minute later, he walked back to her bedside, his conversation over the phone almost done. "Alright, sure thing. I'll take charge of the training today. Yeah, just make it quick, okay?" Christian hung up. "I have to go now, lessons begin in fifteen minutes."

Lissa felt a twinge of jealousy for his job, then told herself that it was ridiculous. Christian couldn't possibly spend all his time with her, and she just had to deal with it. "Okay," she said, but the disappointment was clear in her voice.

Christian bent down and kissed her. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he promised, and with another kiss, he left the room.

Lissa listened intently for the sound of the front door shutting which told her that Christian was well and truly gone. Then, she pulled and hugged her legs together and started counting down the minutes till she could be with him again.

That told her more than anything else that she had fallen deeply and most probably, permanently in love with Christian.

Inevitably, that also got her wondering how much it would hurt if he left her. She had not felt anything even remotely similar for Joel that she did for Christian, and despite that, when Joel had dumped her without an explanation, she had taken years to get over it.

If Christian did that, she had no idea whether she would ever get over him, whether she would have the strength to carry on with life.

And that scared her more than anything else.