Special thanks to SunflowerFran for keeping me and my writing in check. (:
girl
My eyes, stinging from abuse and crusted with mascara, lift and blink against the cold blast of the air conditioning. My skin pebbles and crawls, a fine layer of sweat, salt, and shame making me shift in discomfort. Dry lips part, and are brushed by a sandpapery tongue.
Hell is a place within me.
Arms that are weakened by dehydration lift me from the bed. Wobbly legs carry me into the bathroom. The person that stares back at me in the mirror is a nightmare. Matted hair frames a sickly face with dark slashes as eyes. I'm not her, but she is me.
Hot water beats down on me from above, calming the tremble in my limbs. Slowly, I work a bar of soap over my skin, eyes closing against the slippery wrongness that flares up within me. There's a fire at the base of my skull, pulsing down my spine, and coursing through the rest of my body. My insides ache, their singed remains revolting against the feeling.
Why now? I was doing just fine before. I would do anything not to feel this anymore. I would do anything to regain control of myself; of my emotions. I promised myself I wouldn't let him do this to me anymore; control me like this. Even now, I feel the ghost of his fingers on my skin, inside of me, wrapping around my throat, and delivering blow after blow to my quivering flesh.
My arms wrap around my middle as I drop to my knees in the tub. I had hoped the memories would be swept away by my dreams as I slept. That's how it used to work, in the beginning. No such luck, now. No, now I'm left kneeing here, a shell of a person mourning the intangible insides that were ripped from me.
I need to make this stop.
Tapping into the small well of inner strength that remains within me, I push myself up from the ground and out of the shower. Dressing quickly in my wrinkled clothes from last night, I snatch my discarded purse from the floor and fish out my phone. Fingers trembling, I tap out a quick text.
Will u come get me? I'm w Jess
The reply is instantaneous.
Be there in 5
Sighing in relief, I turn to Jess' white, princess vanity table and hastily begin removing the remnants of last night's make up. It comes away easily, leaving my eyes looking red and raw. It will have to do. Finger combing my hair flat, I jump up from my seat and dart quickly down the stairs.
Time to make my great escape.
It's the day after and Bella is feeling rough still. Who is the "he" that she is referring to? Who did she text?
I am so glad that you all are still on board with me through this long, angsty ride! I promise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, as well as answers to the many questions you all have had! See you all tomorrow with Chapter 36 (:
xo j