A/N: Thoughts. So many thoughts.
She's digging in the bottom of the closest for a pair of shoes. "I could've sworn I saw them earlier." Finally she spots them but as she reaches back she brushes against one of his jackets and something falls out of the pocket. Picking up the piece of paper, she gently unfolds it.
My beautiful Fern,
I sit here beside you while you sleep, but you're not where you should be.- No. You're in a hospital bed, unconscious and have been for the past 10 days now. You don't know how bad I want to hear your voice right now; to see those beautiful eyes of yours. The doctor has been very optimistic with the progress that you've been making since you got here. I'm trying to remain calm and positive but, Baby, I don't know if I'm strong enough. I don't know if I'll be able to give you everything you need once you wake up. I'm trying to stay strong, Lord knows I am but it's so hard without you. The nights that I'm at home and not here, I lie awake on the couch, because there is absolutely no way that I could sleep in our room, in our bed, without you. So I just lie there, thinking of you and our past….of our future and all the possibilities. I've learned many things while basically being without you for these days and that is that a world without Kensi Marie Blye is a world that I don't want to live in. You, Princess, are my everything and I don't know if I've ever told you that, but you can bet you're beautiful ass that once you wake up I will tell you and show you just how much you mean to me every single day. (This is the part where I wiggle my eyebrows.) Another thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is our job. I know that you have reservations about giving up being an agent, but I can guarantee you that you are so much more than this job, Kens. You aren't the job, Baby. And I know you probably don't want to hear that right now, but I've spent the better part of a week without you because of said job. I've spent most of my life thinking the same thing. That my identity was found only in my job, but one beautiful day something changed in me; that something was you. You showed me that life is so much more than a job. Let me put it this way; the way you feel about your job is the exact same way I feel about you and our life together. Without it, I don't know who I am. I've come so close to losing you so many times that I'm getting closer and closer to quitting. Only problem is is that you don't want to leave. So of course I'm staying in. Where you go, I go. I don't want to keep putting pressure on you and trying to talk you into doing something that you don't want to do, but if we keep staying in this line of work….Kensi, I can't lose you. I can't. So I'll do this for you. I'll wait for you. And when you're ready, I'll be right there next to you when we turn in our badges and guns. Because no matter how much longer you want to stay in, I'll be right there next to you, watching your six and being the best partner that you both need and deserve. And every night when we go home I will hold you tight, never taking advantage of the time we have together. So please, Baby, just wake up, because I can't live without you.
She's sitting on the floor, tears in her eyes, shoes forgotten. Going over the words again and again. You showed me that life is so much more than my job. The way you feel about your job is the exact same way I feel about you and our life together. Without it, I don't know who I am. "The way I feel about my job is the way he feels about me and our life together?"
"Baby, are you rea-…." He walks into their bedroom and stops in his tracks at the sight of his fiancée, sitting on the floor, crying.
She looks up, meeting his blue eyes when more tears begin to fall. "You think I care more about my job than I do Us?"
He quickly makes his way over to her, sitting down in front of her. "No…well maybe a little."
Leaning towards him, she captures his lips with hers. When she pulls back, she places her forehead on his. "Baby, I love you, but you couldn't be more wrong."
Slowly standing up, she makes her way towards her nightstand where her phone sits. She picks it up and makes her way back to him, handing it to him. "Here."
Taking the phone from her, he sees her note section pulled up.
I finally get it. I finally get why you've been wanting us to get out so badly. I'm sitting here in your hospital room, watching you sleep and I can't help but think about what just happened. The doctor said that you had a ruptured spleen causing internal bleeding and if we hadn't got here in time you would've been gone. I now realize what you must have went through after the crash. Before we got rescued I thought that that was the end. There I was, sitting in the middle of the desert, cradling your unconscious body, thinking about how I was never going to get to hear your voice again, see those ocean blue eyes of yours, make love to you…or to tell you that I love you so much it hurts. I know you're laying right here but it physically hurts me knowing how we left things and how I came so close to losing you. I hate myself for letting our conversation in the parking garage escalate so quickly. We were both on edge and I think part of the reason I got so angry is that I couldn't find the words to describe how I was feeling. First off, I want you to know that I want to have kids with you, of course I want to have kids with you. But seeing what Mosley was going through with her son and how it affected her just made all those doubts I had about if we had kids come to the surface. I know I should've just talk to you about it, everything was happening so fast and it just…I didn't know what to say, but I told once and I'll tell you again. Martin Deeks, you are my world; my everything. The day I met you was the day that my hazy future became clear. Most of my life I pictured myself becoming a decorated agent, working my way up to maybe becoming the Director of NCIS one day, thinking that that would be enough for me. That as long as I had my job, I would be perfectly content. Well, what I didn't plan on doing was falling so in love with someone that it would make me want to give up all those dreams and pursue things that I never knew I wanted. I never thought of myself walking down the aisle to become someone's wife, going to soccer practices and dance recitals, or having Sunday morning cuddle sessions in bed….that is unitl I met you. After having time to think about where you were coming from and after what we just went through, I find myself getting closer and closer to hanging up my gun and badge. Because you and me, that's what I want. I want to grow old and gray with you. I want to have kids with you and watch you attempt to say no to our daughter. Most of all I WANT YOU. So when you wake up be ready to talk, because we are going to figure this out. Kensi Blye Guarantee.
Placing her phone on the ground, he grabs her hands and slowly pulls her up with him. He locks his lips with hers and they are soon lost in a passionate kiss. When air becomes scarce they pull back.
He gives her a suggestive grin as he starts placing kisses along her jaw and down her neck. "Maybe we should skip it."
She threads her fingers through his hair, tilting her head to give him more access. "Deeks, it's the rehearsal. I'm pretty sure the bride and groom have to be there."
Making his way back up to her mouth, he gives her a peck on the lips. "Fine. But Nell is so aggressive. Did you see that she scheduled when we could go to the restroom?"
She nods her head knowing exactly what he's talking about, but she is their wedding planner and her Maid of Honor, so what can she do. "I know! She's acting exactly like Monica circa Phoebe's wedding."
"That's who she reminds me of!" He snaps his fingers, having an aha moment.
She laughs as she goes back into the closest to retrieve the forgotten pair of shoes and puts them on. Walking back up to him, she smiles. "Babe, it's only going to be a few hours and then after that we can come back here," she runs her finger seductively down his chest, "and spend the rest of the night doing whatever we want."
He's left in awe because this woman; this beautiful, amazing woman is going to officially be his wife in lest than 24 hours. And he's never been happier in his entire life, but he knows that tomorrow's going to change that. Grabbing her hand he places another kiss on her lips. "Alright, wifey. Let's get this party started."
She smiles into the kiss, she can't help it. She's so deliriously happy, because she's finally getting what she never knew she always wanted. "Let's do it, hubby."