The Emerald Graves were beautiful, but there was a sadness in the forest that permeated everything.

Thankfully, Solas had returned and was able to come with them and he was able to decipher most of the elven they saw. Sera, Cassandra, and Bull were not as impressed as Tessa and Dorian were.

It had been a three weeks since they left Skyhold and Tessa couldn't wait to return. Dealing with stupid Orlesians, bears, giants, and Red Templars have worn her out and she just wanted to go back and start planning for the operation at the Winter Palace.

One of the few things that kept her sane was the letters she had been receiving from a certain person at Skyhold.

Sitting next to the fire, she unfolded one of these letters. The Commander started all of his letters the same way. They were all concise and informative about what was happening at Skyhold, sounding very much like the military adviser he was. The ends were the parts that Tessa enjoyed the most. The end was short, sweet, and to the point. He always wished her well and said how he missed her and awaited her return and he never did it in more than one paragraph.

Most women Tessa knew-like Cassandra-would have given her strange looks for fawning over a simple few sentences and stuck up their noses at the short length, but they were more than that to the Inquisitor. She had to deal with everything that wasn't simple. She had to deal with conflict and distrust and she always had to make compromises and end battles.

The simplicity was a blessing. There were no hidden meanings. No games. Cullen was straightforward and his words weren't flowery or overdone. They rang more truthfully to Tessa on paper than the words she heard out of most peoples' mouths.

She wondered how he was doing. They never had a chance to talk after he laid everything out in front of her. She regretted not staying and waiting for him to wake up, but soon after she woke up herself, Cassandra was pounding on the door and yelling for her.

The Seeker oddly didn't ask about what happened; she must have just assumed that Tessa had succeeded in convincing Cullen to stay with the Inquisition.

Tessa wished she could manipulate and walk the Fade like Solas could, just so she could go and see how Cullen was faring. The Inquisitor sighed, flopping down to her back to look at the stars through the tree branches above her. A soft breeze ran through the leaves, causing a whispering sound to play along with the music of the crickets and the sounds of the forest.

To be honest, Tessa was just groping in the dark when it came to her relationship with Cullen. She didn't know how to read signs or when a certain touch was too much or too little. She never had the opportunity to feel like this in Ostwick and was just acting on instinct. She remembered the shocked look on Cullen's face when she told him of her inexperience. He had only smiled and gave her a bewildered look.

"And here I was thinking that people threw themselves at your feet wherever you went."

Surely he was joking.

Tessa had kissed boys-and some girls-before and there was some awkward groping at times, but she never had a serious relationship in her life.

Cullen was different from anything she had ever experienced and she worried constantly. What if she said or did the wrong thing? What if she pushed him too far the night he told her about Ferelden?

She looked at the letter she had clutched in her hands. Maybe she was overthinking things.

The ride back to Skyhold the next day was long and tedious, just like the rest of their journey from the graves.

Tessa refused to ride at a trotting pace when Skyhold's gates came into view and she kicked Clover into a canter. She seemed to be racing the setting sunlight as she made her way across the bridge.

Once she was in the keep, she looked up toward the stairs to the main hall and she couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face at the sight of her three advisers waiting for her, particularly the one in the middle.

The Inquisitor quickly handed her reins to one of the stable workers and she started to make her way up the stairs. Her advisers greeted her and she nodded at them in return. Tessa was hyper aware of the nobles waiting to speak to her in the main hall. She couldn't miss their poofy hats and ridiculous masks as they peeked out the massive doors to get a glimpse of her. She stepped close to Josephine. "Josie, please tell me they don't expect me to talk to them at this time of night."

The sun was almost completely below the horizon, barely giving them enough light to see. Josephine smiled knowingly. "I have informed them that you have been away for some time and would like to rest. We can deal with them tomorrow."

Tessa almost hugged her. "You're a blessing. And let's make sure that happens after our meeting tomorrow, I'd rather be in a good mood when I tell you all what I've found."

"Of course, your Worship," Leliana answered, nodding.

The Ambassador and Spymaster started to walk into the main hall and Tessa barely managed to stop Cullen by pulling on the back of his cloak. "Dinner in my quarters?" she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

His scar quirked in the way she loved as he smirked back at her. "Of course."

Irritation formed in Tessa's gut when they had to go their separate ways because of the nobles. He was pretending to go back to his quarters and she had to get through the swarm of heckling men and women in order to get to hers.

Thank the Maker, there was a tub full of hot water already prepared in her room and Tessa quickly indulged in that pleasure. As much as she loved traveling Thedas and learning about the places and the people, she always missed warm baths.

She left her hair loose and falling in damp waves down her back as she dressed in a simple blouse and leggings, leaving her feet bare.

Now, Tessa waited patiently for Cullen and her dinner to arrive. She pulled out the stack of reports she had written over the past three weeks and started to separate them.

Two platters were brought up by the elf that had helped Tessa in Haven and Tessa beamed at the girl. "How are you today, Marie?"

As always, the elf jumped when she was directly addressed. "I-I'm fine, my Lady."

Tessa had decided to get to know Marie more after first meeting her in Haven, but the elf always avoided her somehow. The elf only became more skittish after Tessa became the Inquisitor. "How are things with your co-workers? Are you all treated well?"

Marie always seemed surprised to be treated this way, which made Tessa sad. She knew many elves in the Circle at Ostwick and she was close friends with many of them. Caylea, her best friend at Ostwick, was an elf. Tessa inwardly deflated inside, like she did whenever she thought about her friends from Ostwick.

"Yes, ma'am," Marie finally said with a shy grin. Tessa grinned back and both women jumped when the sound of the door closing and heavy footsteps sounded from the stairway.

"Goodnight, my Lady," Marie quickly said, hurrying toward the stairs and narrowly avoiding running into the Commander.

Cullen stared after the elf in bewilderment before looking back at Tessa.

Tessa could immediately tell there was something different by just looking at him. He seemed healthier and the paleness that had accompanied him when she last saw him was nonexistent.

"Hello," she said quietly, standing up.

Cullen quickly strode toward her and Tessa gasped when he suddenly wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her. She sighed into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. They pulled away from each other and Tessa couldn't stop grinning as he rested his forehead against hers. "I missed you," he said quietly.

"I missed you too." She gave him another peck. "Your letters helped, by the way. They kept me sane."

Cullen stood straight and arched a brow down at her. Tessa released her grip from around his neck and rested her hands on his chest instead. "And what almost caused the great Inquisitor to go insane? The reports you sent back didn't indicate any—"

"Orlesians are a pain in the arse and I think Dorian and Bull are fighting."

"I can get the Orlesians being a pain, but…wait, what?"

Tessa blinked up at him in surprise. Oh shite, she wasn't supposed to let anyone know. "Dorian and Bull are…ahem, what was for dinner?"

Cullen shook his head, laughing through his nose. "That's an odd pairing, don't you think?"

Tessa rolled her eyes before studying him appreciatively, thankful that he at least took off his armor before dining with her. He normally didn't in the past. "I'm fine with it. I don't think anyone else knows. I could just tell…and the way Sera was trying not to laugh when they bickered kind of gave me a clue."

Cullen shook his head and allowed himself to be dragged toward her desk. "That elf knows too much."

Tessa giggled, sat down at the desk, and promptly dug into her dinner. He did the same. They ate in a comfortable silence, enjoying the roar of the fire and the peace. "How have you been feeling?" she asked, looking across at him.

The fork Cullen was bringing to his lips halted in midair and he set it down. "Better, I think you were right about not sleeping. I've been…trying. I want to try to get better without relying on your magic or any other means."

Tessa reached across and held his free hand. He didn't have his gloves either and Tessa was glad he kept those off. "I'm glad you're feeling better," she said quietly, wishing she could tell him how worried she was.

His hand was warm and calloused, like she thought it would be. They were littered with light scars from years of training. They finished their dinner like that, hand in hand, and Tessa's heart fluttered the whole time. His thumb would occasionally run across her knuckles and her stomach would flop with the action.

After they finished, Tessa guided him over to the couch and they sat—well, he sat while she curled into his side-reading a book from Tessa's collection. She would make an affirmative noise whenever she wanted him to turn the page and they read in a comfortable silence for what seemed like hours.

Tessa's mind wandered as she played with a fraying string on his shirt. She remembered telling him of her past romantic experiences—not the groping but the other things—and she wondered about his past. He was too good of a kisser to be inexperienced.

"Cullen?"

"Hm?"

She sat up a little and bit her lip before blurting out, "How many women have you been with before me?"

His eyes widened and Tessa immediately knew that she had made a grave mistake.

"I'm sorry! I was just curious and—"

"Two."

Tessa stopped mid-rambling and she stared at him. "What?"

A small smirk quirked at his lips as he set the book aside. "I've only had two other relationships. The first was an initiate I trained with before we took our vows and we didn't really do anything. She was stationed somewhere in Orlais and I was sent to Ferelden and that was the end of it. And there was a woman at the Kirkwall Circle that worked in the kitchens and we were...together for a while before everything happened." He leaned toward her and asked, "Why did you want to know, really?"

Tessa started to pull at the ends of her hair. "I really was just curious," she mumbled, feeling foolish.

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her lips, instantly pushing the feeling away. "I believe it's fair since you told me about your past."

"Or lack thereof," Tessa snorted.

The Commander quirked a brow. "Which is still surprising to me."

Tessa rolled her eyes. "Hardly. I already told you I have the romantic finesse of a horse."

"Then I have the romantic finesse of a nug," he said, deadpan.

Tessa couldn't stop the laughter even if she wanted to. She tried to cover up her mouth as she laughed harder. It was funny because the first thing that came to mind was a nug with curly blond hair on its head. A snort suddenly escaped as she laughed and she felt her face flush in mortification.

"Did you just snort?" he laughed.

"No, and it's not funny," she managed to squeak out between laughs.

"I think it's adorable."

She finally managed to calm down and moved so that her head was on his lap and her feet were propped up on the other armrest of the couch. She grinned when she felt his fingers gently running through her hair. He continued reading while she dozed off for a while. After she woke up, the memory of what they spoke of the night before she left returned. "Cullen, there was something I was wondering about from…that night," her voice trailed off as her courage failed her.

He stiffened beneath her. "What is it?"

"You mentioned that you liked a mage…" He was completely stiff now and Tessa now knew she absolutely had made a grave mistake and she stared at the ceiling to avoid his eyes. "You don't have to answer. I'm sorry I—"

"Her name was Solona Amell. Everyone loved her. It was a one sided infatuation that never had a chance of growing," he said quietly. He started to twirl a soft curl between his fingers again.

Tessa bit her lip and started to play with the sleeve of his shirt to avoid looking at him. Well, she proved her finesse yet again by asking about a time she knew was painful for him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

Cullen gently tugged on her hair. "Don't be. I had good times there…they're just overshadowed by the Blight. You can talk to me about it."

All of Tessa's doubts suddenly came to surface. "I just…I feel like I pushed you that night. You had already told me so much and then I just had to go and ask you to go into detail and—"

"And the nightmares have not been as horrible since then."

Tessa finally had the courage to look him in the eye. His gaze met hers evenly. "I used to not sleep because of the nightmares. The lyrium had kept them at bay until I stopped taking it. They became more vivid after I stopped." He reached down and grabbed her hand, twining their fingers together. "I wanted to thank you…when you came to see me…" he trailed off, looking into the fire.

"If there's anything you…" he sighed, releasing her fingers to rub the back of his head. "This sounded much better in my head."

Tessa's heart fluttered. She actually helped him? "I guess you weren't lying when you said you were feeling better."

He grinned for a moment before letting out a sigh. "It's not always that bad. The pain comes and goes. Sometimes I feel as if I'm back there…" He shook his head. "I should not have pushed myself so far that day."

Tessa grabbed his hand again. "I'm just glad you're alright."

Cullen stared down at their hands. "I've never told anyone what truly happened to me at Ferelden's Circle. I was…not myself after that. I was angry. For years, that anger blinded me. I'm not proud of the man that made me."

He gently untangled himself from her and he stepped toward the door to her balcony. He opened it and stepped out, letting in the fresh, spring air.

Tessa stood and followed him, shivering a little as her bare feet touched the cold stone outside.

He rested his hands on the railing. "The way I saw mages…I'm not sure I would have cared about you, and the thought of that sickens me," he whispered.

Turning toward her again, he reached out and took her hand. "Now I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened. It's a start."

Tessa's heart leapt into her throat and she could feel tears forming in her eyes. "For what it's worth, I like who you are now."

"Even after…?

"Well, you told me everything and I'm still holding your hand," she said softly, grinning up at him.

His expression softened and a smile slowly came to his lips. Tessa couldn't put a name to that expression and she wouldn't mind seeing it more often.

"That you are," he said, resting his forehead against hers.

Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, standing up on the tips of her toes.

She was glad to be home.