Author's Notes: I do not own Once Upon A Time which is a show on ABC where people just trust a midwife they met in a diner. Thank you for the reads and reviews and follows. I haven't gotten back to anybody just yet, but 200! Woo hoo! Thanks again, please let me know what you think and happy reading!
Rumplestiltskin awoke with a start on the floor of his cottage.
He wasn't supposed to wake up.
He looked up to see Merlin sitting at his table, eating an apple.
"Good morning, sunshine."
"Merlin..."
"Good. You remember me."
"I haven't seen you in years."
"Did I miss anything?," he asked, taking a bite.
"Well, I am the Dark One now. I've lost my son, my wife-"
"To be fair, you did rip her heart out and crush it," said Merlin. He shrugged. "I'm just saying you may want to think about your life choices before you lament your tragedies."
"What do you want?"
"Obviously, to drag you out of your stupor," said Merlin. "Look at yourself. While you've been off in some kind of fantasy land, in the real world you've been lying in your own sick."
"I can't die."
"Yeah, well. I'm going to have to suggest doing something other than escaping your life."
"What the hell do you care?"
"Because I have plans for you, Rumplestiltskin and those plans do not involve you spending an eternity in a purple haze."
"The only thing I want is my son and I can't get to him. I had one chance and the pirate took that."
Merlin sat back. "I am so disappointed in you."
Though he wouldn't say it, Rumplestiltskin couldn't help but agree.
"You've said it yourself, but here's the proof before me. Without your son, you will turn to dust. Unfortunately, I can't have that." Merlin reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the Dark One's dagger.
"What are you doing with that?," asked Rumplestiltskin.
"I'm going to eat a steak. What do you think? I'm controlling the Dark One." He saw Rumplestiltskin's glare. "Yeah, sunshine, not your best hiding place."
"And what do you bid me do?," asked Rumplestiltskin, his voice dripping with contempt.
"Oh, don't worry, sunshine. I'll give it back to you."
"When will you do that?"
"After I find you something to do for the next three hundred years."
Emma looked at Merlin. "So, what's your plan?"
"You may not like it."
"I don't know if there's any of this that I like," said Emma.
Merlin walked into Greg's room. Emma followed.
"You can't be in here," the nurse protested.
"Do you know who I am?," asked Merlin.
"Yes."
"Then save yourself the trouble," he said, motioning for her to leave.
The nurse left. He turned to Greg.
"Now, do you know who I am?"
Greg moaned.
Merlin waved his hand.
"What? What just happened?," he asked.
"I have healed you," said Merlin. "Now, tell me who you are."
"What? I'm Greg Mendel."
"I'm not worried about your name," said Merlin. "Who are you and who are you working for?"
"I don't know-"
Merlin waved his hand again and Greg screamed.
"What did you do?," asked Emma.
"I un-healed him." He looked at Greg. "What I give, I can take away. Understand?"
Merlin waved his hand again. "Now, what did you do?"
Emma found his bag on a nearby table and started going through it. "There's a shipping receipt for an address here in Storybrooke."
Merlin looked at Greg. "Setting up shop, are we?" He leaned in. "Tell you what, why don't I have a look around and then maybe you'll be more likely to tell me what you really want."
Beatrice sat in her guest room at the Winter Castle and looked through the trunks the servants had brought up. There were dresses galore and books and jewels.
Without warning, the door opened and a sixteen year old Emma strode in, wearing a long blue dress with dirt at the hem. Her hair was a wreck and she looked as if she would rather be anywhere else as she flopped onto Beatrice's bed.
"You look different," said Beatrice.
She grimaced. "My mother says I have to learn to walk like a lady, whatever that means. She is such a hypocrite. When she was my age, she was living in the forest, fighting Black Knights."
Beatrice frowned. "Yeah, I think that mostly has to do with the Evil Queen that was trying to kill her."
"Whatever," said Emma. "My father is worse. He won't even let me go anywhere with the knights. What is the point in being a princess if all I get to do is be locked in a castle learning to dance?"
"I think that's pretty much in the princess job description," said Beatrice.
"Not for you," Emma whined. "You get to do magic and have actual tutors."
"I can't help the magic part, really."
"Yeah," Emma snorted. She laughed. "Remember that time we were five and you made it rain for a week so we could have a moat?"
"No..."
Emma leaned up on her elbows. "Yeah, I heard our mothers talking. She said there was some spell, giving you memory problems."
"Yeah, that's one opinion."
"What? You've got another theory?"
"I think I'm in a coma."
"A what?"
"God, you guys don't really know anything here."
"Sorry, we can't all be as gifted scholars as you, Princess Beatrice." She turned on her side. "Speaking of which, I tried to invite your boy."
"My boy?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, he's not your boy, whatever. It seems that whatever he's doing at the university is too important to be interrupted, but he's sending his brother in his place. Sherrinford, not the other one."
Beatrice tried to process. "Sorry, I have a college-aged boyfriend?"
Emma eyed her. "Wow. That spell must be really bad. Do you remember Alexandra?"
"Alexandra?" Beatrice searched her mind. She only knew one. "Cinderella's kid?"
"So you do. Bad luck there. Anyway, my mom made me invite her so you can look forward to the part of the evening where her mom and your mom get into their usual thing. Still, if we didn't the party would be completely boring."
"Anyone else coming?," asked Beatrice.
"Princess Melody. Briar Rose, though, she's just been weird since her mom ran off with that warrior chick-"
"Sorry, who is Briar Rose?"
"Wow, you're missing that, too? Queen Aurora? Ran off with Mulan? All everybody in the whole realm talked about for months?"
"Whoa, Aurora did what?"
"Ran off!" Emma smiled. "Though I did hear your mom had an adventure with Mulan once."
"Eww," said Beatrice, recalling the story in her book. "It was totally not like that, though, if it was so what? Lots of people have experimental phases."
"Come on, your mom's whole life is an experimental phase."
"Hey!"
"I admire her. I could use an experimental phase myself. End up with a guy everybody hates and nobody tells you what to do ever again."
"Emma, this whole conversation is getting so beyond weird you have no idea..."
Emma sat all the way up. "In this other world Regina put in your head, who am I?"
"Who are you?"
"Yeah. Tell me. For fun."
"You're the Savior."
"Are we still best friends?"
"Not really." Emma looked concerned and Beatrice shrugged. "It would be weird. You're thirteen years older than me. You have a kid."
"I have a kid?," Emma asked with a sneer. "How old was I?"
"Eighteen. You kind of had him in jail."
"I was in jail?!," Emma squealed almost gleefully.
"Then you sort of reformed and became a bail bonds person, then sheriff."
"What? Like the Huntsman?" She leaned in. "Is it just me or does that guy have a really great butt?"
The door opened and Rumplestiltskin came in.
"You don't knock?," asked Emma.
"I don't need to knock, dearie. I know Beatrice isn't up to anything. I can't say the same for you."
Emma bounced up and gave Rumplestiltskin a hug he seemed to reciprocate.
"Oh, my God I need my iPhone," said Beatrice.
"Your what?," asked Emma.
"You know our Beatrice isn't feeling well," said Rumplestiltskin. "I came to make certain she was resting and instead I found you. Gossiping I take it? Or some chat about boys you're far too young for?"
"We're sixteen," said Emma.
"Get ready for bed," said Rumplestiltskin.
"It's barely eight," Emma moaned.
"Seriously, is that it?," asked Beatrice. "Time without TV is slow."
"I'll get in my night-clothes, I won't keep her up, I promise," said Emma.
"Fine," he relented. "I'll have the servants bring your supper up here."
He left.
Belle came out of the room.
"Any change?," asked Tamara.
"No." Belle looked at Neal. "Would you mind sitting with Rumple?"
"Sure," said Neal.
Neal got up and went inside.
"Are you getting something?," asked Regina. "Do you want me to go with you?"
"No, thank you," said Belle. "I'm just going to the restroom."
"I could sit with Beatrice for a while if you wanted to go home or get a nap," said Tamara.
"No, thank you, I'm fine," said Belle, walking off.
"It is painfully obvious you don't have children."
Tamara rolled her eyes. "Is there a reason you hate me?"
"I wouldn't say hate. I don't know you well enough." Regina put her paper down and eyed Tamara. "Belle is one of the few people I would trust with my son and that's why. You aren't even on the list."
"And why's that?"
"You underestimate that woman. She was a prisoner in my castle and she never played her trump card."
Tamara rolled her eyes. "And what was her trump card?"
"She was pregnant with that girl. If she had told me, I would have gladly handed over anything for Rumplestiltskin's child. Most people would do anything to get out of my dungeon. Some have made worse bargains for less. She never did. She angered me at first, but when I became a mother, I finally understood. I respect her for it. So don't think you're going to be able to smooth over what you said to her earlier with some pathetic offer to help."
"It must be a sick world you come from."
"And what sort of world do you come from where you think you can take my son?"
"And you wonder why Neal and I want to get away from all this crap. You're threatened by me."
Regina smirked. "I would laugh if that wasn't so pathetic." She leaned forward. "You don't want to try me, dear."
"What are we doing here?," Rumplestiltskin demanded as he and Merlin materialized.
Merlin glanced back at him as they approached the manor house. "On occasion, people ask for my help. The trouble is, I don't really do house calls."
"Oh, you don't?"
"Not for the general public, my help is reserved for a special few."
"And what did I do to become so special?," asked Rumplestiltskin.
"It's not what you've done, it's what you're going to do."
Rumplestiltskin followed Merlin to the entrance of the home. A servant let them in and went to get the master.
"The lord here is a baronet," said Merlin. "He would like to be a higher rank, even married one incredibly stupid girl to get her dowry to buy a title. I mean, really stupid. She asked her servants for lizard's milk. Not once, not twice but every bloody morning."
"And why are you telling me this?"
Merlin eyed him. "You haven't been around the nobles much, have you? I mean, the only time you've stepped in a castle is to burn it down and I can't imagine you spent a lot of time chatting."
"Your point?"
"The art of the deal involves knowing what your adversary wants. Once you know what they want, you can predict what they're going to do. How many deals do you think you'll have to make to get to the Land Without Magic?"
"And what does this baronet have to do with getting to the Land Without Magic?"
"Nothing, but I'm the one holding the dagger, sunshine."
"My Lord Merlin," said the baronet as he entered.
"Ah, Lord Melchett," said Merlin.
Melchett looked at Rumplestiltskin. "And your friend?"
"Don't mind him," said Merlin. "He's the Dark One."
"Oh."
"Now, I've explained to the Dark One a bit about your problem and he is going to help you."
"I am?," asked Rumplestiltskin.
"Yes, our baronet needs a new rank..." said Merlin. "It's too bad there's not some nobleman out there in need of being removed. Yes, just too bad, some Duke perhaps..."
"I don't want anyone to die," said Melchett.
"Look, did you come to play or not?," asked Merlin. "Because I am trying to do something here and I really can't have people wasting my time."
"What about my time?," asked Rumplestiltskin.
"You have three hundred years, sunshine. I don't really care what you do between now and then so long as you keep yourself off dangerous conscious altering roots."
"What happens in three hundred years?"
"Not telling," said Merlin. He paused. "Though I do need you to get a nicer house."
"Excuse me?"
"Well, it's a step up from your hut, but it's too small and in a bad neighborhood. I know a nice quiet place in the mountains."
"I'm not moving."
"I have the dagger, remember?," asked Merlin. "Besides, the fresh air will be good for you. So, why don't you think of a title you would like to obtain?"
"The Duke of the Frontlands," said Rumplestiltskin.
"Oh, look he hasn't completely rotted his brain," said Merlin. He looked back at Melchett. "You can be Duke of the Frontlands."
"I don't know how to repay you-"
"Well, the price is for the Dark One to think of." Merlin turned. "Try to think of something."
"Gold?"
Merlin rolled his eyes. "Use your imagination. I find it's often a good idea to ask for what someone would least like to give."
"His firstborn child."
Merlin paused. "Well, that got dark quickly, then again, you are the Dark One. Alright, Melchett, your firstborn child for a dukedom. What say you?"
Melchett paused and Rumplestiltskin found his contempt for the man grew unimaginably in a matter of seconds.
Even more when he agreed.
"Alright then," said Merlin after they left. "Dark One, I command thee to make Melchett the Duke of the Frontlands and then buy a nice castle in the mountains."
"And how am I to do that?"
"You're clever. You'll figure something out."
"Anything else?," Rumplestiltskin sneered.
"Yes, why don't you go spin straw into gold?"
Beatrice awoke in her bed.
In the castle.
In the Enchanted Forest.
If this was a dream, she really wished it would sort itself out.
She got into her trunk and put on one of the outfits that didn't require two people to help her get into. She went into the hall where she ran smack into Snow White.
Looking a little older and a lot more pregnant.
"Beatrice," she said with a smile. "I hope Emma didn't keep you up all night. Your father wanted you to get some rest."
Emma had kept her up almost until sunrise. It turned out Enchanted Forest teenage Emma could go on forever about boys and had even regaled Beatrice with a somewhat traumatic tale about how she had made out with Pinocchio.
"I was wondering if you could help me," said Snow White. "We've had some cancellations for the ball and I wondered if you knew anyone. Your mother mentioned you knew a Time Lord? He might be interesting."
"Oh, right, that would be the Doctor from the Land of Gallifrey. Yeah, definitely invite him and you know, Lord and Lady Grantham and Lady Mary, Lady Edith and Lady Sybil. Oh, don't forget Matthew Crawley. Amelia Pond. Rory. Sherlock Holmes, Doctor Watson. Yeah, you should definitely invite all those people."
"Anyone else?"
"You know what? Martha Jones and Mickey Smith because those two don't get enough appreciation."
"Hating on them?," asked Snow White.
"Yeah, so invite all those people and maybe I can get this sorted out."
Snow White eyed her. "Are you certain you got enough rest?"
Beatrice didn't get a chance to answer because twin boys came barreling down the hall with wooden swords, crashing into them.
"Boys!," Snow White shouted, chasing after them. "What have I told you?"
Beatrice shook her head. "This is so weird..."
She walked out to the gardens in an attempt to get away from the screaming children.
"Beatrice?," asked Rumplestiltskin. "What are you doing out here without your cloak?"
He waved his hands and a white fur cloak appeared. He draped it over her shoulders.
"Something's wrong," said Beatrice.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?," asked Rumplestiltskin. "Tell me what it is and I'll fix it for you."
"I'm not sure you can."
"I'll try."
"It's this weird hallucination thing."
"The Queen's Curse?"
"Yeah, sure, if that's what you want to call it... anyway, so if this is all my subconscious, what's with all the weird stuff going on? Like why am I at Emma's ball? Why is Snow White pregnant-"
"That's more a question for your mother."
"No, no, no, we're not even having that discussion," said Beatrice. "I mean, why are there all these weird subplots? Also, there should have been a Dalek or a Cyberman in here by now."
"This is not a dream, Beatrice."
"Yeah, but like am I going to be a police officer in the seventies? Or what if I've been dead since the plane crashed? Is that even what happened? Because I sort of gave up in the middle of that show and the internet confused me."
Rumplestiltskin stared at her.
She knew that look.
"What has Regina put in your head?," he asked.
"That's the other thing," said Beatrice. "See, the Regina I know, doesn't have a really great imagination. Her whole idea for revenge was to just have everyone hang out in Maine. Okay, they were unhappy, but lots of people are unhappy. I would have had people doing crazy stuff, like have Mary Margaret robbing liquor stores and have Archie be a compulsive gambler or something. So how could she have come up with the sixteen years worth of stuff stuck in my brain?"
"The Queen can be resourceful when she wants to be."
"Okay, let's try the fractured universe theory."
"The what?"
"Hey, what I know is already consistent with the chaotic inflation theory," said Beatrice.
"The what?"
"See, the multiverse is stretching, but in some places it stops stretching and there's a bubble universe. Different bubbles have spontaneous breaking resulting in different physical constants, which is why that whole Land Without Color even exists."
Rumplestiltskin motioned at a bench. "I'm going to sit down."
"So, everything that happens in the universe is the result of a choice. Every choice creates a different time line. Now, the only thing is whether your doppelgänger is somewhere in Hilbert space or actually occupying different physical space. So somehow I am in some universe where the Dark Curse never happened, but where's sideways me? Is she back in my universe? Has she crashed my car? Does she even know how to use my iPad? Oh, God, she doesn't know the lock screen code. What if everything gets deleted?"
Belle walked up to them with a smile. "What are you two doing out here? Rumple, she could have frozen to death two days ago, why are you letting her stay out here?"
"Beatrice was just telling me some things..."
Beatrice's jaw dropped. "That stupid Sideways Beatrice! What if she breaks my sonic screwdriver remote?"
Belle looked at Rumplestiltskin. "Sideways Beatrice?"
Rumplestiltskin shook his head.
"We should go inside," said Belle. "What about a nice cup of tea?"
"Tea? I don't like tea." She paused. "I haven't had any coffee today or yesterday or the day before that."
"What's coffee?," asked Belle.
"So, where's the caffeine withdrawal headache that should have me writhing on the ground by now? I'm not really here. Sorry, one second."
Beatrice walked off.
"Rumple..." Belle implored as she followed.
Belle and Rumplestiltskin found Beatrice just as she punched her hand through one of the castle's smaller windows.
"Ow! That was not a good idea!"
She blinked.
"Beatrice!," Belle shouted,
Blinking, Beatrice awoke again to the hospital room's fluorescent lights as Belle held her arms.
"Beatrice," said Belle, her eyes full of water.
Then the pain started again, making her cry out.
"It hurts..." she couldn't help but whine.
"Well, of course it hurts," she heard, blinking again to see Rumplestiltskin. "You put your hand through a window!"
Beatrice turned to see Gold.
"What hurts, sweetheart?," asked Gold.
It wasn't just the hand, which really was not a good idea, but it was everything. Everything.
"I know, baby, hang on," said Belle, kissing her on the forehead.
"Wow, it must be bad," said Beatrice.
"Why?," she heard the echo of two Belles say.
"You only call me baby when it's bad..." she said, half-conscious as she slumped against her mother.
"Nothing I can't fix," said Rumplestiltskin.
She felt herself slipping away.
"No, Beatrice, hang on!," said Belle. "Beatrice!"
She blinked again to see herself in the garden, Rumplestiltskin doing some magic over the hand she had not brilliantly stuck through a window.
"Why did you do that to yourself?," asked Belle.
She looked at Belle and Rumplestiltskin's befuddled expressions.
"It totally would have worked on Doctor Who."
"Well, who is he?," asked Mary Margaret as they arrived outside the abandoned cannery.
"That's what we're trying to find out," said Emma.
David picked up the bolt cutters and walked to the door.
"Big lock for someone who just drove into town," he remarked.
David opened the lock and they went inside. Emma flipped on the light to see all manner of electronics and a table with straps and wires.
"What the hell is this place?," asked Emma.
"Someone's idea of fun," said Merlin.
"Someone's building a torture chamber in Storybrooke?," asked Mary Margaret.
"It would appear so," said David.
"This guy just got to town," said Emma, heading to a counter with a laptop. "Someone else must have been here, getting this place set up."
"Well, how long has Storybrooke been watched?," asked Mary Margaret.
Emma opened the laptop and put her spyware tool in. "Whoa..."
"What is it?," asked David.
Mary Margaret and David looked over her shoulder.
"There's files on all of us," said Emma.
"Is there one on Beatrice?," asked Mary Margaret.
"Yeah," said Emma.
She opened the file and pages of information opened up. Emma scrolled back.
"Hers goes really far back," said Emma. "To when she was in New York. God, her report cards are in there, pictures, her birth certificate. And the weather report? Someone's been stalking her."
"This is crazy," said Mary Margaret.
"Merlin, you should look at this," said Emma.
"I'm looking for something else," said Merlin. He waved his hand and opened a metal case. He pulled out a Ziploc with a syringe inside.
"What is that?," asked David.
"Well, I'm guessing it's whatever's in Beatrice."
"You think she was poisoned?," asked Mary Margaret.
He opened the Ziploc.
"How do you know it's what's in her?," asked Emma.
Merlin sniffed. "Because her blood is the only reason to keep the syringe."
"Yeah, you're going to have to explain that blood magic thing to me again," said Emma, getting up to walk over.
He opened the syringe and took a sniff. "Very interesting."
"What is?"
"I know where she is," said Merlin.
"What do you mean where she is?," asked David. "She's in the hospital."
"Her body is, but her soul is in a netherworld."
"Like from the Sleeping Curse?," asked Mary Margaret.
"Not quite. This netherworld was originally designed to be a curse world for one's enemies, to expose weaknesses, to learn secrets."
"Originally?," asked David.
"Someone took ownership of it, made it his own personal paradise or purgatory depending on his mood. The herb in this syringe transports one's mind there."
"So how do we wake her?," asked Mary Margaret.
"Excuse me."
Rumplestiltskin nailed the curtains into the wall of his new castle.
"I think your interior design needs some work," said Merlin.
He grimaced. "Is that to be your next command, Master? To redecorate?"
Merlin looked around at the empty hall. "Well, I think you have time for that."
"Three hundred years," said Rumplestiltskin.
"I trust you shall find a way to pass the time. How did you come out with Melchett's firstborn?"
"I found a farmer and his wife who longed for a child. She'll be better off, I don't even think the Duchess noticed I had taken her."
"As I said, not very smart. I've brought you something."
Rumplestiltskin turned to see the dagger.
"All yours," said Merlin putting it down on the table.
"You think I have a reason to stay here?," he asked as he came down off the ladder.
"I think some time away from that world has allowed you to realize what you knew all along: it was a lie. You are too smart to be truly happy in it."
Rumplestiltskin snorted. "Well, aren't I lucky?"
"Now, would you like to know where to find the Seer who told you your future back during the Ogres' War?," asked Merlin. "Perhaps you would like to know what else she has seen."
"Where is she?"
"Everything has a price, Rumplestiltskin and my price for this is that you not return to your little world."
"And why would I want to do that?"
"Because there are better things planned."
Gold's phone rang. Belle looked up at him.
"It's Merlin."
"Well, answer it."
Gold picked up the phone. "Yes?"
"So, sunshine, remember that little world I had to drag you out of?"
"I'm afraid I don't."
"You know, the happy little one you made for yourself to wallow in after you murdered your tramp wife?"
Gold walked away from Belle into the waiting room. "And why bring this up now?"
"Well, I happen to be staring at the empty syringe of your favorite consciousness-altering plant that someone must have injected into Beatrice."
"Did you make a counter-potion?," asked Gold.
"I don't have a counter-potion. I don't have the counter agents because they were in the part of the realm you helped destroy. You know the only way to get out of there. The question is, do you still have a way to get in, sunshine?"
"The deal?"
"Deal rescinded. Obviously, as I suspect you may have broken it anyway."
Gold hung up wordlessly.
"Sweetheart, there is something I must do."
Belle looked back "What is it?"
He waved one hand over the other and a vial of sparkling purple potion appeared in his hand.
"Rumple, why do you have that?," Belle asked in alarm, getting up from the bed. "You told me that was dangerous."
"It is."
"Then what are you doing with it?"
"This potion is made from a plant, it sends you to a netherworld."
"Like the one from the sleeping curse?"
"Not quite. This world is far more pleasant and far more deceptive."
"What do you mean deceptive?"
"It's a place I went when I didn't want to think about the things I had lost. I took all the things I held most precious and left them there."
"You mean Bae?"
"And you and the life I robbed you of. I fear Beatrice is wandering among my imaginings."
"So, are you going to use that to make a potion to get Beatrice back?"
"There's no counter potion, Belle. There's only one way out and I need to go show her."
Belle shook her head. "Rumple, no-"
"It's the only way, sweetheart." He kissed her. "Try not to worry. I'll have her back to you soon."
He sat down and drank from the vial.
The ball finally arrived. Beatrice sat in her room, getting ready with her mother's help.
"Sweetheart?," asked Belle, standing behind her at the vanity. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, just great."
"What's wrong?"
"You know, I'm just a little bummed about my entire life being a lie, but mostly Doctor Who," said Beatrice. "What if Doctor Who's still real and I miss an episode? Next year's the fiftieth anniversary."
"I am sure Papa will set everything right and you'll feel differently once he has."
Beatrice turned around. "Am I still a complete social outcast?"
Belle hesitated. "I wouldn't say complete."
"Right, if I had friends, I would know it wasn't real."
"No one understands you yet, that's all. Papa and I haven't raised you as most people think daughters should be raised in this land."
"Also, there's that whole Dark Princess thing. So glad I got to hang on to that."
Belle helped her stand up and look at herself in the mirror. The dress was elaborate, a delicate lavender with gold trim she suspected was the same gold string she was used to. The skirt seemed to be layer after layer of tulle. She had on her usual pendant and Belle had fixed her hair down, though it usually wasn't the way she said, but Beatrice wasn't a usual girl.
"You are going to be the most beautiful girl at the ball," said Belle.
"Ladies," said Rumplestiltskin, entering, "may I escort you?"
They made their way downstairs. Beatrice spotted Cinderella and a not baby Alexandra with her. She caught a glare off the elder princess as she walked past.
"Oh, get a grip, I've already had this argument with you," Beatrice snapped. "So over it."
Rumplestiltskin smirked as they walked over to Snow White.
"Beatrice, you look beautiful," said Snow White, giving her a hug. "I'm so sorry, though, I couldn't find any of the people you mentioned for the guest list."
"That is disappointing," said Beatrice.
"It's almost your turn," Belle said excitedly.
"My turn? For what?"
"To be introduced," said Belle. She gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You will be wonderful."
She looked at Rumplestiltskin. "You guys aren't coming?"
"I trust you can walk down stairs by yourself?," he asked.
"Well, I don't," said Beatrice. "Have you seen this dress? And the shoes?"
Then it was too late. The page called out her name.
"Princess Beatrice, Heiress to the Far North Kingdom."
Beatrice looked down the grand staircase as the menagerie of royal guests turned. There were the looks of fear, but they were mixed with admiration, wonder and even a couple of smiles. Regardless, all eyes were on her.
"Don't fall," she muttered under her breath. "Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall."
She stopped her incantation as she finally arrived at the ballroom floor.
A man approached her. He was a little awkward, very tall. "Princess Beatrice?"
"Yeah?"
He frowned at her. "Has it been that long? Sherrinford."
"Right, Sherrinford," she said, recalling Emma mentioning the name. "You're the guy who is brothers with the other guy."
"I suppose I am. My brothers are sorry they couldn't attend. They know full well it was you that suggested Princess Emma invite them and they didn't come anyway. As usual."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure they're busy..."
"You know how they are."
"Not really. Would you mind elaborating?"
He looked at her curiously. Before he could formulate an answer, the trumpets sounded and the guests once again turned their attention to the grand staircase as Charming led Emma down as they applauded. It was then that Beatrice noticed Belle and Rumplestiltskin had disappeared from her view.
The orchestra began to play music as Charming and Emma began to dance. That was quickly interrupted by a scream, followed by another. Remembering an episode in the second series of Doctor Who, Beatrice briefly held out hope the party was about to be invaded by Cybermen.
Then it was pirates.
And Hook.
"Oh, come on. Are you serious?!," Beatrice said, involuntarily stomping her foot as the other guests ran.
"Guards!," shouted Charming.
The guards entered and began sword fighting Hook's gang of pirates. Charming stepped forward and began fighting. Emma dropped back which Beatrice thought was odd, but maybe Sideways Emma was weird like that.
Beatrice felt someone grab her.
Then a hook.
"Are you serious?!," she shouted at Hook. "You can't be serious! He is so going to rip your heart out! And I don't know what else! None of it's good!"
Gold shook his head, looking down to see a dragon skin coat, reptilian skin and claws.
"Rumple, are you alright?"
He looked up to see Belle in a gold gown, staring at him with worried eyes, not unlike the ones he had just left.
"Rumple?"
"Belle..." He squeezed her hand. "I'm fine, sweetheart. Where's Beatrice?"
"She's at the ball, Rumple. Are you sure you're alright?"
He tried to draw on the borrowed memories of this world to get up to speed. They had led her to the staircase and watched her walk down. Then he had excused himself with a headache, the result of his real self replacing the self he left in this world.
"Yes," he said. "I need to speak to her."
"It's her very first ball, Rumple. Can't you let her have a bit of fun? Those dance lessons will all be for nought."
"Dance lessons?," he asked.
They heard the music stop, then a commotion and screams.
"That's the ball, Rumple," she said in concern.
Gold flew out the door, Belle wasn't far behind as they met a pregnant Snow White leading a herd of children out of the chaos.
"Boys, help your sisters."
"What's happened?," asked Gold.
"Pirates," she said, grabbing a sword.
"Where's Beatrice?," asked Belle.
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure, it was so chaotic-"
Gold ignored her, tearing back down the hall. Belle was close behind him, carrying a sword.
"Belle, stay behind, sweetheart."
"I'm not just going to stand here while my daughter's in danger!"
Why was it even his imaginary Belle liked to argue with him?
"You're the clumsiest woman alive! You shouldn't run with a sword!"
"Dad!," Beatrice screamed. "Dad!"
Gold tried to hurry, but it was difficult with the crowd of party guests running against them. They arrived at the balcony just as the pirates were leaving.
"Beatrice!"
They arrived at the ballroom. Charming's arm was bleeding. Belle raced for some table linens to help him.
"Who was it?," Gold demanded. "Where did they go?"
"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "Some pirate in black leather with a hook."
"That cur..." Gold seethed. "I thought I had killed him here."
Charming looked around. "Emma? Emma!"
"We have to find them," said Belle.
"No," said Gold. "I have to find her."
He stalked out and saw Belle following him.
"You're still following me."
"Has our daughter still been kidnapped by a pirate who hates you? Yes, I'm still following you."
Emma and Merlin walked in the hospital room.
"Gold, wake up," said Emma.
"He can't," said Neal.
"What do you mean he can't?," asked Emma.
"He's gone after her," Belle said quietly.
Emma looked at Merlin.
"To the netherworld," he added as he went to hold Belle's hand.
Emma nodded. "That world. It belongs to Gold, doesn't it?"
"Indeed it does."
Emma stepped closer. "I'm sorry, Belle, but I have to ask you about something."
"What?"
She opened the folder of the things she had printed out. "The man we think attacked Beatrice, he had an address he shipped to here in Storybrooke. We found all of this and a lot more on the computer there."
Belle took it, hesitating to have her hand leave Beatrice's arm.
"This is all about her..." Belle said, thumbing through. "This is her whole life. Whoever this was, spied on us, her whole life?"
"Yeah," said Emma. "I've got a picture of the man. Do you maybe recognize him?"
Belle looked at the driver's license photo and gasped. "That's Owen."
"You got a last name?"
"Owen Flynn," said Belle. "We went to dinner once while I was still cursed. He asked me all sorts of questions about Beatrice's father..."
"The one Beatrice threw zombie powder on," said Neal.
Emma looked at Neal. "What?"
"She was with August. The guy tried to get her to come with him using some B.S. story about how Belle was in the hospital. August fought the guy, but Beatrice froze him with this zombie powder."
"Zombie powder? You're serious?," asked Emma.
"It's from a kingdom in our land," said Belle. "It just freezes an enemy for months or years even if it's strong enough. Why didn't she ever say anything?"
Neal shrugged. "You didn't really believe her back then."
Belle shook her head. "She didn't trust him. I thought she was overreacting. Oh, gods, what did I do?"
"Hey, Belle, don't beat yourself up. You didn't know," said Neal.
Emma finished up and left, running into Regina.
"Are you still here?," asked Emma.
"I came back," said Regina. "Did anything turn up with that man?"
"Yeah," said Emma. "Belle knows him by another name. Owen Flynn. They went to dinner once."
Emma watched Regina's face fell.
"What?," asked Emma. "Do you know him?"
Regina looked around at the waiting room. "This is not an appropriate venue."
"Then let's go somewhere that is."
Regina nodded. They walked and ran into Tamara.
"Oh, hey, Emma," said Tamara. "Could we talk?"
"Now is not a good time," said Emma.
"Do you know when would be?"
"Yeah, when I'm not running an investigation and Neal's baby sister is not in the hospital. That would be a good time."
Regina smiled icily at Tamara as she and Emma left.