DISCLAIMER: Take Eastman and Laird add TMNT's and what do you get? Lots of money – of which none are ours. So, with that said, we are broke and only own the freebies – Ramiela, Gabby, and Mindy.

CHAPTER 35 – Reflections.

Rama could only stare at the woman's back in complete shock and surprise. She saw something familiar in its pattern and wondered, but before she could take in any more of its design, Cassandra quickly lowered her blouse and turned back around to face her.

"Tell me, dear Ramiela," she began curtly, "do I remotely look like your mother, now?"

Gulping and quite embarrassed, Rama feebly shook her head no and shied just a little, averting her head in shame. She was still in shock over this woman with her obvious mutation and, therefore, she could only remain silent.

"Good," Cassie declared, "Now we have a healthier starting point." She studied the chastised warrior carefully and then softened her expression. "As I can safely assume, you are probably wondering how I came to be this way." Rama looked back at her with eyes slightly wide and nodded in affirmation. This encouraged Cassandra to continue. "Well, it began about fifty-four years ago…"

For the next thirty minutes, Cassie told Rama her life's story, how she was kidnapped as a child of six by Saki, raised in Japan and trained as ninja until she reached her sixteenth birthday. That was when she and a host of other fellow Foot ninja were moved to New York with Oruku. It was there that they began a campaign of crime and where, about a year later, when they crossed paths with the turtles.

When Cassie arrived at the part where she had beaten Raph on top of April's apartment, Rama could not help but look back over at him. He caught her gaze immediately. She noticed him shift a little, as if the memory was still a sore spot, yet she was surprised that was all he did. If it had been her Uncle Raphael, he would have done more than that; he would have either spouted some insult at Cassie or stormed out of the room. The fact that this Raph stood more at ease than he should have been told Rama that, to him, this was accepted history and nothing more. However, Raph narrowed his gaze at her as if she had stared long enough. She quickly turned her head back around to face Cassie, realizing how rude she was being. Yet, her mind was still on the fact that this woman had beaten the Raphael of this world. If he was anything like her uncle, how could that happen? Was Cassie that good and, if so, why didn't she defend herself earlier when her life was in jeopardy?

Then, Rama was riveted back to the conversation at hand when Cassie told about her renouncing of her position within the Foot. The girl stood there in shock to hear how Saki had reacted towards the woman. After having Cassie beaten and raped, he threw her into the same a cell with Splinter, who had been captured earlier. Cassandra then shared how the rat had helped her through that ordeal, giving her the will to continue on living. However, it didn't stop there. The story continued with Cassandra's removal and relocation just before Casey rescued the master. The woman shared how she was then forced into experiments with the mutagenic gel. As Rama listened, Cassie explained how her body changed over the course of ten years with each experiment. The girl soon came to understand how the woman had a 'shell' on her back. Rama also began to see how it was possible for her to conceive Gabby. It shocked her to learn how Raph's DNA was harvested earlier, collected to assist with Saki's evil endeavor to create an enhanced soldier. In fact, as she thought back to just a moment before, she recognized that it was his shell pattern on Cassie's back that she had recognized.

Yet, as the woman told how she had conceived Gabby, Rama couldn't help but feel sorry for her as well as for Raph. Still, the woman continued. She went on to tell Rama about how she gave Gabby up to the professor and how she had watched over them for the first ten years. Rama had to fight back a smile when Cassandra shared how she had disguised herself as a blind woman while living in Connecticut. During that time, she was coaching Gabby in voice, all the while performing on Broadway in the evenings. It seemed to hit a humorous chord within the kunoichi. She smiled a little at the woman's duplicity and wondered if even the professor was aware of it at the time. She then answered Rama's silent question when she shared about trying to convince Perry to give 'Gabriella' up.

"Gabriella," Rama thought, "what a pretty name and so much nicer than just 'Gabby'. She really should make people call her by her full name; Gabby just sounds so disrespectful!" Rama concluded silently.

Finally, when Cassandra came to the part of the Professor's deteriorating health and Don's retrieval of Gabriella, she concluded with a brief statement about finally retiring from active duty.

"Even if I chose to, my dear, I wouldn't have been able to defend my self against you today." She looked hard at the young warrior. "It has been a while since I last sparred and at least three years since I last fought. I prefer a more sedate existence, if you know what I mean?" She cocked her head to one side and then narrowed her eyes. With a stern voice she then accused, "You, however, had a greater responsibility to check yourself, to be in control! There is no excuse for what you did, Ramiela, even if I were the personification of your mother." Cassie paused for a moment to let her words sink in.

Rama understood, now, why Gabby's mom had been allowed to partake in the tribunal and why the turtles were not hiding the fact of their ninjitsu from her. Cassie was one of them, if only by her personal history and by her mutation.

Then, with a voice that was soft and caring, the woman stated casually, "After your punishment is completed, I have asked Leo permission to acquire you for a day or two."

Rama's eyes went a little wide, still trying to access her mother's look-alike. Even with such a different life story, the woman still bore the spitting image of the girl's worst nightmare. "Ah, for what?" she asked with trepidation.

"Isn't it obvious?" Cassie stated evenly.

"Um, I'm still trying to process things, so I'm a little lost on why you would need me." Rama answered honestly.

Cassandra laughed as if she thought the girl's comment to be quite funny, "You destroy my shop and then wonder why I would need you? " Shaking her head and smiling, she explained derisively, "To help clean up the mess you made, that's why!"

Rama blushed, sighing in relief. She was not at all resistant to such a request and she knew beyond a doubt that she would have offered anyway – once things had settled down. Yet, she felt compelled to ask, "A-alone?"

"Of course not…I'll be there." Cassie smiled warmly at the girl.

That was not what Rama had meant but then, at this stage, it was a moot point. She nodded in acceptance, saying, "I could do no less than to assist you."

"You're absolutely correct about that, Ramiela!" Cassie said shortly and then asked,"Oh, and before I take my leave, there is one more thing." She cocked her head just a little in curiosity, "Considering how you behaved in my shop, I would like to know what your mother did to make you hate her so much?"

Rama gulped a little, as she really did not want to tell her. Just the memory of her mother was awful enough but then to tell about her with Shay's twin doing the listening seemed surreal. However, she was now convinced that Cassandra was not Shay. She also realized that Cassie did not have to share at all about herself, but she did. Not only that, but in this world, she was still an innocent, even with her past allegiance with the Foot. Besides, didn't Leo say that she had to answer any and all questions that Cassie would ask of her? Consequently, for the third time that day, Rama shared about her mother, Shay, and her own past. Not in as great a detail as she told the tribunal, but enough to reply to the question put to her. Once or twice while she talked, Rama noticed Cassandra wince ever so subtly, as if she were appalled that any parent would do such a thing to their own child. She had looked over at Leo and the others when Rama came to the part where Raph had executed Shay, yet – even then - her expression remained flat and unreadable.

When Rama finished, a stretch of silence filled the dojo. Cassie's eyes closed for a moment to mull over what she had just heard. Then, ever so subtly, she nodded a couple of times, as if she understood. Finally, she snapped her eyes opened and looked long and hard at the kunoichi. She bore her own gaze into the young warrior as if she wanted Rama to understand her without a moment of doubt. Then, Cassandra addressed her, "In life, Rama, we often do not have control over the things that happen to us. Yet, they happen. One thing that I took with me after my brief 'visit' with Master Splinter was this. 'It matters not what happens to you or how people treat you. What matters most is in how you react'. Remember that!"

She smiled once at the girl. Cassie noticed Leo straightening up just a bit as if in recognition of his old master's wise words. The woman then turned her focus back to the kunoichi, again, saying sternly, "You must get a hold of how you respond to life when it happens to you, even with regards to your mother. You were too young to control what she did to you then, but you do not have that excuse now! Make sure that similar experiences do not manipulate you, Kunoichi." Cassandra admonished.

"I know and I realize that." Rama admitted morosely, gulping as she looked away in shame.

Nodding her head and smiling just a little, Cassandra stepped forward to stand right in front of Ramiela. She gently took the girl's chin in her hand to encourage her to look at her. Softly, she remarked, "Yes, I know you do. Your repentance is quite noticeable – and I accept your contrition." Then Cassie, just as gently, released Rama's chin and stepped back one stride. She gave her a short bowed before saying, "Arigato gozaimasu no chui". Then she took her leave. (Thank you for your attention)

As Cassandra passed Leo, she cocked an eyebrow at him and stated, "She's all yours!" However, just before she left the dojo and as she walked by Raph, Cassandra leaned in and whispered to him as she smiled, "Heard about your new nickname – 'Ganpa Spungebob'!" Then, snickering to herself, Cassie made for the stairs, taking the steps two at a time while leaving a rather grumpy Raphael in her wake.

Touched by Cassie's attempt of encouraging her, Rama's heart still sank when the woman handed the remaining part of the tribunal back over to Leo.

Now was the time for judgment and sentencing.

The kunoichi braced her resolve. Rama still didn't know what to expect from the clan. Though she was ready to accept her punishment, that didn't necessarily mean she would find it easy to accomplish. About the only hope that she seemed to have was that it wasn't going to require seppuku, not where she would be helping Cassandra clean up her battered shop afterwards.

"Then, again, seppuku just might be easier than being alone with her." Rama thought to herself, "even with her different life and her kind advice, she still looks far too much like Shay for my liking."

Once again, Leo and the others took their position in front of Rama. She straightened up as much as was possible, expecting no leniency from them and not wanting any either. If anything, Rama desired punishment for what she did. At the very least, she felt it would be cathartic and therapeutic a just payment for her blatant lack of self-control.

With as stern a look as she had ever received from him, Leo announced, "Ramiela, you are charged and found guilty for breaking the truce with the clan, for harming an innocent as well as others in the clan itself. You are also charged for acting inappropriately, based on your training and status, as well as bringing much dishonor to all of us, including yourself."

Rama felt her insides twist from Leo's words. Yes, indeed, this Leo was very much like her own sensei with how he conducted clan affairs. Nevertheless, she stood her ground and awaited the verdict. She was determined that whatever it would take, she would restore honor to the clan as well as to herself. Though she desperately wanted to fidget because she was so nervous, Rama stood as still as she could at strict attention.

"Where you lacked self-control and acted impulsively, you are hereby sentenced to spend the next two and a half days here in the dojo in complete isolation from the rest of the clan. You will spend that time in meditation. You are also prohibited from working out or doing any type of katas. Instead, your time will be used in reflection upon this day's events and only that." He briefly noticed Rama's eyes flick quickly over at Devon, prompting, "You will be monitored, so I suggest you be mindful of your thoughts!" The kunoichi quickly resumed her attention to the matter at hand. Leo smiled to himself as he could feel the anticipated loss in Rama, where Devon would be absent from her. Maybe that would be the catalyst for the girl to work hard at exercising self-control. She would definitely miss him; that much Leo could tell. Then, he continued with the sentencing, "You will be allowed only three breaks each day, two at fifteen minutes each while the third break will be for thirty minutes. Also, you will be allowed four hours of sleep each night." Leo paused slightly, pursing his lips a little, as he focused on his student's emotional state. Then, he nodded, "You will be given only one meal per day, but unlimited water, of which both will be provided."

Rama felt an almost giddy sense of relief flood through her at Leo's words. Partial banishment was bad enough, but at least it wasn't full blown banishment - or worse. However, for just a flicker of a moment she felt a brief warning from Devon, as if what she was feeling should be the last thing she should be doing right now. Then, to bring it all into focus why he would attempt such an effort to warn her, especially during a tribunal, Rama saw Leo stiffen ever so slightly.

She gulped nervously.

Easily sensing her relief, Leo added, his face grim as he narrowed his eyes at her, "Do not be so relieved, Kunoichi. Once your time of solitary is complete, I will be intensifying your training to ensure that you never behave in this fashion again. Trust me on this one, Ramiela, you will not find it enjoyable in the least. In fact you might even look forward to helping Cassandra if only to get away from me." Leo smile tightly as he finished.

Rama swallowed nervously for she knew how bad her own sensei could be. Therefore, she didn't have any doubts at all that this Leo could bring a whole new definition to the words 'torture through training'. She knew it would not be easy on her, but she also realized that she had to find a way to begin acting more correctly in the sort of situations as what she found herself in today. Cassie was correct, after all. How one responded or reacted to the things that happened to you was paramount to anything else. This particular weakness of hers, where it concerned her mother, could not be allowed to rule her life. Though her Sensei at home had been slowly working on this with her, he, too, would often berate her for not taking control of her memories rather than letting her memories control her. Basically, she just couldn't take in the complete picture and it was this which tripped her up today.

Yet, the more she thought about it, the more she was confident that if this Leo could help her, then it would be worth it how he punished her. At the very least, Rama hoped that would be so. Even though she did not have any idea what methods he had in mind to use for that part of her training, she would welcome it gladly. Still, her mind and imagination wanted to play out different scenarios, but she pushed that temptation back. The last thing she needed was to freak her self out before there was a need to.

Then, she bowed slightly and softly said, " Hai, Sensei."

"As a side-note, Ramiela, your crime has had some very serious fall-out in our clan. Your actions have compromised Mindy's training. Gabby is now more adamant than before about not training her daughter. Also, if you had killed Cassandra while in the blood rage, you would not be having things so easy." Leo paused, "and the chances of getting you back home might have been lost for who knows how long."

Rama flinched in spite of her desire not to, for she knew it was true. She had all she could do to fight back her tears.

"The only reason why I haven't demanded more from you is because you were unaware of our rules and because of your obvious post traumatic response. I cannot fault you for feeling about your mother the way that you do. However, I can find fault with your response. Both your ignorance of our rules and how you respond to things will be amended soon. The fact that you acknowledged your own crimes and regretted what you did as well as shared your personal demons with us influenced your punishment." With that said, Leo pivoted on his heels and headed for the stairs with the others in close formation behind him.

Rama desperately wanted to call out to Devon to hear words of comfort from him. Yet, she knew it would have been inappropriate and would probably earn her an additional day in the dojo as a result. Consequently, she sank thankfully, yet remorsefully, to the floor and into a lotus position. Soon, she began the long hours of her sentence-imposed meditation.

……………

Devon waited until he was upstairs in his bedroom before he gave into his feelings of despair. As his shoulders slumped, he wearily leaned against the door after he closed it, shaking his head in sadness. After learning what Rama's own mother had put her through, he now knew that it would take the kunoichi some time to accept Cassandra, despite the differences. While Cassie was confronting Rama, Devon had wanted nothing more than to reach out and offer some mental comfort to his love. Yet, he knew that Leo would not permit it. In fact, he felt a subtle warning from his uncle as he had thought about aiding Ramiela. It wasn't a harsh warning, but just a 'mind your business' warning. Then, Devon wondered silently how Rama would deal with her fear when forced to work with Cassie in cleaning up the store. Maybe he could ask to participate, yet at the same time, he knew that Leo would want Rama to face her 'fear' on her own. She was, after all, a future jonin – like him. Devon smiled a little remembering Rama's obvious surprise to see him in that position next to his Father. "Maybe I should have told her about that earlier? Oh well, at least now she knows," he said ruefully to himself.

Suddenly, there was a gentle tapping on the bedroom door. Devon startled just a bit, caught unaware and somewhat surprised. He turned sharply around and immediately sensed his father. As he opened the door, Raph smiled a little, knowing the emotions playing out in his son. "Can I come in?" he asked softly.

Devon didn't say anything but nodded, opening the door wider so his father could step inside. Raph assessed his son for a moment; neither of them saying anything at first. Then, Raph rested a hand on Devon's shoulder, saying encouragingly, " Don't feel bad for her, Dev, Rama's accepted it. Besides, she doesn't really want our pity. Did ya feel that spark from her when Leo asked if she should be let off just because she felt repentant? You know as well as I do, she wouldn't respect any of us then." Raph added, "Dev, she grew up in a ninja clan so she knows what to expect."

His son replied, "I know. It's just - how could her own mother do that to her?" He sat down on the edge of his bed, truly affected by what he heard from her only moments earlier.

Raph joined him, putting a comforting arm around Devon's shoulders, saying, "I don't know and from what Rama shared a while ago, her mother's not around to answer that question. Yet, it seems like poetic justice, to me. Where Cassie was sent years ago to kill us and doing what she did to me, then to have her twin in Rama's world be 'offed' by my other self," Raph grinned reflectively, "it's just poetic, that's all I can say."

"You – don't like Cassie?" Devon asked, somewhat surprised.

"Like her? Well, let's just say that I've learned to tolerate her. When I learned of her true identity three years ago, it took some getting used to. She's Gabby's mom, so – I sort of have to accept her, now don't I?" He looked at his son and then entreated, "As a future jonin, though, Ramiela knew what to expect, Dev. Yet, as our future jonin you did real well yourself. I'm proud of you." Raph reflected back to when he and his son were at constant odds, due mainly to his failed marriage to Rahab. Her constant fights with him and the bickering that followed kept him away more often than he would have liked. This, of course, made things quite difficult between himself and his son

Devon gave a small smile for the compliment from his dad, "Thanks, that means a lot to me."

Raph grinned, "Thought it would!"

One of the things that Rama seemed to notice right off the bat was the silence in the dojo. While she would workout during previous times, she had never really paid much attention to how quiet it was. Yet, now it seemed to press down around her, giving her a subtle feeling of suffocating. Even though she knew the rest of the family was somewhere upstairs, in or out of the house, and going about their business, for the life of her she couldn't hear them. In her own home and even in the privacy of her bedroom, she could at least hear the rest of her family moving around. She could hear conversations taking place between her loved ones, with the occasional battle among her cousins, or even the faint noise from the television in the living room. However, here she was completely cut off from everyone and everything. Not even a squeak from the upper floorboards! It was certain that when Mike had this house built, he had it built very well.

Still, Rama longed to reach out just to sense the other members of the clan, just so she knew that the family had not abandoned her. Although she felt the loneliness, she knew that her thoughts were supposed to be turned inward and not outward. If Leo was monitoring her, with either the cameras or his own senses - and it was probably true with both - then he would know she was not obeying the dictates of her punishment. Rama was fully aware that she was in enough trouble as it was, so she concentrated to keep her mind focused on what she had to do and not on what she wanted to do.

While Rama was fully aware that meditation was useful, she easily recalled how long a twenty-four hour stint of meditating was. It had not been more than two months since her sensei in the other world had assigned her that task, either. She remembered how difficult it was, at first; balking at the idea where she was so tired and hungry. She was never one for long periods of meditation to begin with, and that assignment only drove home the point. However, she did have to admit the time spent meditating had been interesting – and beneficial as a result.

After the first ten hours, Rama looked up and soon realized that not even a clock graced the walls of the dojo. This only meant that she would have to use her mental aspects about time to keep track of her break and sleeping periods. When this truth finally sank in, Rama was suddenly very much aware of how long her punishment was going to be. Without anything else around to distract her and with only meditation to occupy her time, she knew her stint in the dojo was going to be excruciatingly long.

Sighing, she decided to put everything she could into her self-introspection and reflection. "Maybe, in that way, time will fly by faster," she thought to herself, remembering a similar experience with her last long stretch of meditation.

Still, she could not help but grump a little bit, "I have a feeling the world could end and I'd never know it, not with being down here!"

Sighing, she closed her eyes and tried to relax once more.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yeah, this is a calmer chapter than what preceded it. However, things are going to get interesting from here on out! Therefore, just to make sure that the authorities at fan fiction are appeased, chapter 38 will be rated R…we're erring on the side of caution with that rating and giving you, the reader, a fair warning about the change. This means, if you do not have Reinbeauchaser on your author alert mode, check the R section of this site. It will be the only chapter rated as such, but once rated R, it has to stay there. Last thing we want to have happened is to get the story yanked! Quite possibly, we might be reacting too carefully. Well, feedback is always welcomed. Just go to 'submit review', type your comments, click the 'submit review' button…you know the drill. :0)

RAMICA'S COMMENTS:

Teddybear888: Rama now understands that Cassie isn't Shay but the similarities between them makes it difficult for her. As for emotions sometimes some good 'raw' emotions can make for a good chapter. A gratitude for your insight.

Ace1413: Rama getting her dues. What dues are those might I ask? Is it being put in her place perhaps? If so well rama often gets put in her place but it is very difficult keeping her there. Ah, well the main thing is you enjoyed. A gratitude for your insight.

Sailor Vegeta: I think we have had quite enough reaction from Rama thank you. I'm sure the clan would agree with me on that point. They might also point out that Rama can handle a bit of pressure being turned on for her behaviour. What is that saying? If you don't like fires, don't play with matches or something to that effect. A gratitude for your insight.

REINBEAUCHASER'S COMMENTS:

TEADYBEAR888 – Ah, well, it was the 'ya'll' that made me think of 'Tax-as'. New 'Awlans' and jazz – my daughter's favorite combo! :0) Hey, regarding Dev – he's in love and the soft side of him is coming out. Need to read Rahab to understand from whom he gets it! Believe it or not, Raph in that story was a softy when it came to his ladylove, Rahab. Until they parted ways, that is. As far as Rama is concerned, she's going to get more than she bargained for – much to Leo's chagrin. Look for some temperature readings along the way in the next couple of chapters! We may have to up the rating a bit, too. Hmm… Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing. Be blessed.

KATIE: Wow, what a compliment! Thanks. Buslady and I AIM now and then, so I know of whom you speak! She's a pretty neat gal. Loves her Raphies! LOL Yes, sometimes TV sucks, but I do have to say that they're trying to put out more quality programming. Alias. CSI, LOST, I love Enterprise, Smallville ( can't believe we watch that teen soap opera, but it's well written, so…), Extreme Home Makeover (best reality show there is, in my humble opinion). Anyway, you need to seriously do up your own story! Have someone beta read it for you if you're a little unsure. Either way, thanks for reading and reviewing. Be blessed.

ACE1413: Say hey, there, how you've been? Long time, eh? Wow, I checked on your faan ficttion handle (need to spell it differently in order for it to show up here) and couldn't believe you're not registered anymore. What gives? Anyway, yes, lots have been happening. Not sure how far behind you were with this story or if it was completely new for you, but there are quite a few more chapters to go before we tag 'The End' onto this. So, buckle up and enjoy the ride! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Be blessed.

SAILOR VEGETA: Now ya know who this 'guest' is! Cassie is no pushover and would want a confrontation of sorts. Only fair, all things considering. Now you also know how Cassie is a mutant. To be honest, Ramica and I are so far ahead of this point with chapters written already, that I rather forgot that Cassie explains things in this chapter. LOL Yeah, bright only describes the sun that is now shining outside, after many days of near constant raining. Very unusual weather for southern California! :0) Anyway, I've been on rides myself where I was the focus of someone's displeasure. Not a comfortable ride! Credit Ramica for the translation as she has books on said topic. If it weren't for her, I'd be forced to use the 'free translations' on line, and I've discovered they're pretty lame. Either way, glad to be loved – gives me warm fuzzies! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Be blessed.