"Are you awake?"

"Hmm?" Cal asked his mind slipping out of a dreamy dozy state to becoming aware.

"I said," Gillian's voice got closer. "Are you awake?"

Cal suddenly felt her hand on his chest. Then her lips against his cheek. "You smell like mint," Cal told her.

"I just went to check on Lewis. He's still asleep."

"Mm," Cal murmured.

"So..."

"So what?"

"You know what," Gillian's voice dropped down into a murmur. Her fingers trailed over his stomach. She kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'm wondering if you're awake," she whispered. She pressed her body closer against him and started placing little kisses near his ear while her hand shifted lower and lower. "I can feel that you are."

"Ugh," Cal groaned. He turned over slightly. Gillian connected her mouth against his. "What a delightful way to be woken up."

"For once," Gillian added.

Cal kissed her deeply. "Mm hmm," he murmured. He placed a hand under her shirt, brushing over the soft skin of her back as he turned against her even more, pressing his body against hers so she turned over onto her back. He placed kisses under her chin. Gillian pushed his underwear down. "Straight to business then huh?"

"You know we're on a time limit."

"Doesn't mean we have to rush it," Cal told her gently. He kissed her deeply, slowly, so that when he pulled away again she was breathless.

"No," she whispered.

"No don't rush it or no don't stop?" Cal asked lightly.

"Um," Gillian responded while Cal buried his face into her neck, teasing her skin with his mouth.

And then they heard a noise that froze both of them.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Gillian groaned loudly, using the same complaint Cal had used last night when they had put Lewis to bed and started fooling around only to have Lewis start calling out. They had tried ignoring him but then he had started crying and Gillian had caved and gotten out of bed. She had promised him a rain check. And now it was raining on their rain check.

"It was always gonna be risky in the mornin'," Cal told her neutrally shifting away and onto his back again. Gillian rolled out of bed for the second time that morning. "I'm gonna have a cold showa." Gillian shot him an apologetic expression from the doorway.

PJ

"What's that!" Gillian pointed at him in accusation.

"What?" Cal stopped walking.

"That's your 'morning after' strut."

Cal gave her an amused expression as he started heading across the kitchen again. "My what?"

"You heard me," Gillian narrowed her eyes at him. "What were you doing in the shower?"

Cal thought about lying but she had clearly already guessed. He rolled his eyes dramatically instead, "Relievin' the pressure."

"Cal!"

"What? Is that not allowed?"

"It's just..."

"You can't tell me you neva."

"I don't!" Gillian said forcefully.

Cal pointed a finger. "Lie-a, lie-a." He got closer. "Do you play with yourself too? Cos that makes me feel funny inside. In a good way."

Gillian batted his finger away. "I don't."

That was the truth. "But..." Cal teased. Gillian's cheeks actually went a little red. "Not every day? Every week? Once a month? Once a year? Since we've been married?" Cal paused, seeing her answer. "Since we've been married. Really? When was that?"

"You're wrong," Gillian told him haughtily. "Since we've been together."

"That's a long time," Cal was impressed. His track record wasn't quite as good.

Gillian didn't respond, she gave Lewis another spoonful of what looked like mashed up peaches. The mush was a pale orange colour.

"You're allowed. I quite like the idea of that," Cal teased again. He took a seat, lounged back in it and swung his crossed ankles up to a chair next to him. He could see the sudden tense way she held her shoulders.

"I don't."

"Why not?" Cal was genuinely surprised, while realising he had stumbled into a sensitive conversation.

"Because you're enough for me. I would like to think I'm enough for you too."

"You are enough for me!" Cal gave her wide eyes. "It's just a bit frustratin' at the moment, you know." Lewis squealed. "At least he's in a good mood," Cal noted.

Gillian sighed. "I know exactly what you mean." She looked up at him with clear blue eyes. "It's becoming a problem isn't it?"

"Well, before Lewis we had sex very regularly and now that Lewis cramps our style, it's a lot less frequent."

"But it's becoming a problem isn't it?" Gillian asked again, more forcefully.

"If I agree, am I gonna sound like one of them husbands that's demandin' sex from their wives?"

"No, if you agree, then I know we're in the same boat and we can work out how we're going to fix it."

"You want to make a plan?"

"Yes."

"But our best sex is the spontaneous kind."

Gillian sighed. She gave Lewis the spoon and sat back in her chair. "I know. But what else are we going to do? I'm open to suggestions."

"Well, I agree," Cal answered her question. "It is becomin' a problem. For you as much as for me, by the look of it."

Gillian's cheeks went a little red again. She nodded. Cal gave a slight smirk. How nice that his wife wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

"As for what to do? I dunno," Cal gave a slight shrug. "Kinda hard to dump Lewis on someone else when he hates bein' away from you for two minutes and screams bloody murda."

"How about during his afternoon nap? It's not spontaneous but..."

"It's betta than nothin'," Cal finished.

PJ

Doctor Adler noted Lewis's height down on his notes. "He's growing at a good rate."

Gillian felt the nervous flutter of butterflies in her stomach. It wasn't Lewis's height and weight she worried about but when Adler asked if Lewis was crawling or talking or feeding himself yet. It was these things that Lewis didn't have a grasp on. According to the books, Lewis should be able to move around on his stomach, pull himself up on furniture, feed himself with his hands and string together consonants into multiple syllabic strings. At nine months old he was supposed to be saying simple words like 'ma' and 'da'.

Physically, Lewis was fine; growing just how he should be. But mentally, Doctor Adler was not confident and Gillian wasn't sure. It made her want to cry but she held it together until she got out to the car. Once she was behind the driver's seat she felt the sting of tears she had been fighting back for weeks, maybe even months. Cal didn't like it when she cried. And he didn't like it when she worried so much and if she was being honest with herself, she had been trying to hold it all in. But screw it. She was upset and Cal made her feel better and it wasn't like she was trying to protect him by not crying in front of him. More than anything, she had been trying to convince herself that she was ok, that Lewis was ok, that everything was ok.

"All right darlin'?" Cal answered breezily. "How'd the doc go?"

"Lewis is fine."

"Are you cryin'?" His voice was suddenly low and serious. "What happened? Where are you? Want me to come and get you?"

"No, I'm ok, I'm just..."

"Docta Adla bein' hard on Lewis again?"

"He's not being hard on him," Gillian tried to counter, feeling the strangest desire to defend the paediatrician.

"Where are you sweetheart?" Cal asked again, gently, coaxing. "Are you home?"

"Not yet."

"Come here, to me," he spoke so softly Gillian found herself agreeing. Cal hung up on her, telling her he would see her soon, no room for argument. Gillian slipped her phone onto the passenger seat. She checked Lewis over her shoulder. He was gumming a plastic toy attached to his car seat with a length of cord. Gillian wiped her tears away as she pulled out of the doctor's car park.

Cal was in the lab analysing video with Ria when Gillian arrived. The last thing she wanted to do was announce to their entire staff that she was upset, so she took Lewis through to Cal's office and sent him a text to let him know she was there. He was slamming his office door closed a minute later. He walked right up to her, close, into her personal space. Gillian had long ago lost the urge to back up. Cal gave her a concerned study. "What'd Adla say then?"

"Lewis is slow to develop."

Cal waved the comment away. "He always says that. What about the rest of it?"

Gillian gave a half shrug. "He's tall enough, is putting on weight fine. His teeth look good."

"Well that's good," Cal gave her an optimistic expression, but it seemed a little forced around the edges. And Gillian didn't feel his enthusiasm. Cal suddenly slipped her hands into his and gave her fingers a squeeze. "The developmental stuff, it bothas you yeah?"

Gillian nodded. Brain damage in the back of her mind. Suddenly two of her least favourite words.

"We can always get a second opinion."

Gillian gave him raised eyebrows.

"Babies develop at their own rate. Em wouldn't say more than two words until she was two and now look at her!"

Gillian attempted a smile.

"But, you know, we can get anotha opinion if you don't like what Docta Adla has to say."

"You have a problem with what Doctor Adler has to say."

"He's a bit sanctimonious."

Gillian smiled slightly at his choice of word. "Sanctimonious? He's just doing his job. He's been with us from the start."

Doctor Adler was the paediatrician on call when Gillian was giving birth.

"But that doesn't mean he's the best kiddie docta eva," Cal countered.

Gillian suspected Cal was trying to make her laugh. She tried to shrug off the heavy feeling in her shoulders, just so she could stop Cal from giving her that worried expression. Cal's eyes shifted to questioning. "Up to you, luv. You wanna stick with him that's fine. Maybe I should come to the next check up."

"I would actually like that," Gillian half sighed.

"I would've come to this one."

"You're busy," Gillian pointed out. "And it was important for you to be here." She paused, realising. "In fact, you should really get back to it."

"It can wait."

"Actually it can't," she pulled out of his grip. "You need to focus. The trial is less than a month away. We can talk later."

"Leave Lewis," Cal told her quickly as she turned away to pick up his car seat.

"What did I just say about you needing to focus?" Gillian asked him lightly.

Cal gave her a slight upturn of his lips: amusement. "You get him all day." He reached for her hands again. "Why don't you go home, alone. Have a bath. Read a book. Relax. Lewis and I can hang out for a few hours. He's a good excuse to go home early."

Gillian gave another slight smile. "An excuse for you or me?"

"You," Cal gave a facetious smile, his blue eyes sparkled. "That way, you'll know I can't possibly stay here until midnight."

"So tempting," Gillian sighed.

"Do it," Cal raised her hands and kissed the back of them. "I'll come home and expect to find you in the bath."

"You wish," Gillian shot at him. Cal grinned. Gillian put her arms around his shoulders, gave him a kiss and was comforted by the weight of his arms on her back. He gave her a squeeze and kissed her temple. Ok, that felt really good too. Gillian pulled away. "Ok."

Cal gave her a triumphant smile.

PJ

"Hi!" Kate opened the door with a smile. "Hi Lewis."

"I owe you one," Cal handed over the boy. He followed Kate into the house.

"And we'll be taking you up on it," Matthew told him. He was watching TV with Max on the floor in front of him.

"You're going to pick him up...?" Kate prompted.

"No late-a than eight," Cal told her, dropping Lewis's bag of supplies on the floor. Kate put Lewis down on the floor next to Max. Max eyed him up. Lewis, oblivious, put a fist in his mouth. "Just need a few hours to sort a few things out."

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, just getting ready for the trial," Cal lied easily.

"Oh yeah, when's that again?" Matthew asked him, prying his eyes away from the screen.

"Three weeks," Cal informed him. An awkward silence ensued. "All right then. Anytime," he meant the return babysitting. "Thanks again," he told Kate at the door. Then he raced home. Gillian better be in the damn bath. He was going to have to endure several hours of Hannah Montana with Gillian's nieces in exchange for three hours of Lewis free time.

The house was quiet when Cal stepped inside. He started his walk through in the living room, then moved on to the dining room and the kitchen. She wasn't in any of those rooms so Cal considered that a good start. He noted the kitchen was warm and smelt like baked cheese and there were dishes in the sink waiting to be stacked in the dishwasher.

"Cal!?"

Guest bathroom. The room with the bath in it. Cal made a bee line. He knocked and then pushed the door open to enter. Gillian looked up at him from a mound of bubbles. "Oh you are home."

"I am."

"Where's Lewis?"

"Kate's," Cal lowered the lid on the toilet seat and sat, stretching his ankles out in front of him. He wondered if there was any way this bathroom could be considered symbolic; could he suggest they had come full circle? The shattering news when they thought she hadn't been pregnant with Lewis, and now a difficult conversation about his developmental potential? Cal shrugged it off while Gillian gave him a deep frown.

"He's at Kate's?"

"Yep."

"My Kate?'

"How many Kate's do you know?" Cal asked genuinely interested to see if there was more than one significant in Gillian's life.

"Why is he at Kate's?"

"She's babysittin' so we can talk about him in peace."

Gillian looked as though she wanted to object. Her bubble coated hands appeared over the edge of the tub and she sat up higher in the water.

"Didn't wanna talk about him with him in the next room," Cal explained. "That's rude."

Gillian gave him an annoyed smile. "Are we going to continue the conversation from this afternoon?"

Cal nodded. Gillian watched him. "Oh you want me to go first?" Cal asked innocently. Gillian nodded solemnly. "I've said it before darlin' but I'll say it again." Because she seemed to be having a hard time getting a grip on it. "Lewis will develop at his own rate. It pisses me off that his docta keeps writin' him off. We don't know that he has brain damage from the birth. We can always get a second opinion. In the meantime, I'd ratha not let it plague us. And you gotta stop feelin' guilty. It's not your fault. These things happen; you're not to blame."

"I can't help it," tears welled up her eyes.

Cal suppressed a sigh. He had all the patience in the world for Gillian and Lewis, but he could feel the crawl of frustration creeping into his arms. He got up and moved so he was sitting on the cold floor next to the bath. He settled next to it so he was leaning against the side, facing her, one hand trailing in the warm water. She must have been in the bath for a while, otherwise it would be much hotter. "Sweetheart, look at me." Gillian wiped a tear away and fixed watery blue eyes on him. "What happened with Lewis durin' his birth, was an accident. It was not your fault." Gillian wiped another errant tear away. "Do I have to make you repeat it afta me or are you gonna believe me this time?"

Gillian gave a short laugh. "I'll believe you."

Cal swam his hand through the water to her arm, satisfying his need to touch her in some way while they were in the same room. He trailed fingers along her skin. "Are you gonna stop beatin' yourself up about it?"

Gillian nodded.

"You're gonna move forward from here?"

Gillian nodded again.

"For Lewis's sake?'

Gillian nodded vigorously.

"You know, no one's gonna come and take Lewis away from us."

Gillian froze.

Cal watched her carefully. "You're a good mutha and there is no one to change their minds on this. Lewis is ours. He's here to stay."

A lone tear tracked its way down her cheek. They both knew exactly what he was talking about. Sophie. Gillian carried around her own set of past hurts. Not her ex-husband, interestingly, but her ex-daughter. That one still haunted her. And in that moment she understood and Cal didn't have to say anything more on the subject. He could empathise with her pain but they both knew she had to let it go now. Soothe it with a new balm. A balm called Lewis.

"Need anymore convincin'?"

Gillian shook her head.

"You wouldn't lie to me would you?" Cal asked innocently.

Gillian shook her head vigorously.

"Good girl," Cal gave her arm a gentle squeeze. Her face had told him 'yes' as well. "All right then, if that's outta the way. What do you want to do about Docta Adla?"

"Stay with him. He's been with Lewis from the start and that actually gives me some comfort."

"And if he starts yammerin' on about Lewis's milestones?"

"Try not to worry about it."

Cal fixed her with a firm expression.

"Don't worry about it," Gillian corrected.

Cal gave her a smile. "Great. Two for two. What about the developmental stuff?"

"I don't know what to say about that," Gillian admitted meekly.

"You're worried?" Gillian nodded. "I worry too," Cal admitted. "But I'd like to give the little guy the benefit of the doubt."

"I want that," Gillian agreed.

"We'll spend extra time with him, encouragin' him to talk and crawl around and stuff," Cal suggested at a guess. "If he needs extra help at school we'll make sure he gets it."

Gillian nodded.

"Now, I have to ask you one more thing."

Gillian's expression turned into pensive curiosity. Cal took a second to gather his thoughts. This was going to be a tough one. "You've been cryin' a lot lately and I know some of it's because you've had a baby and there are hormones involved and all that. But I worry. Is it somethin' more? Somethin' out of your control?"

Gillian was surprised by his words. He could see that on her face. And then he caught a glimmer of something in her eye that told him she understood even as she asked, "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talkin' about," Cal watched her face carefully. There was that little glimmer again. "Are you simply worried about Lewis? Or are you inexplicably tired, emotional, 'down'." He hooked his fingers into rabbit ears. It didn't cease to amuse him that he couldn't actually say the words.

Gillian watched him impassively for a second. Then her expression almost seemed resigned. "I just worry about Lewis."

"And you feel guilty," Cal pounced despite himself. No matter what, talking about depression, his mother's, his, Gillian's, made him uncomfortable beyond belief. Guilt he could deal with. Depression scared him out of his skin.

"Of course I feel guilty," Gillian agreed softly. "If my blood pressure hadn't dropped, the cord wouldn't have collapse and Lewis..."

"That was completely out of your control," Cal jumped in, relieved to see she was talking about the truth. "We don't know why your blood pressure dropped. It was just one of those things."

"But if it hadn't..."

"Considerin' it could have been so much worse," Cal paused to make sure she understood the full impact. He could have been killed and missed the birth completely. Lewis could have died. Gillian could have died. And that was just the worst case scenario.

"That's true," Gillian agreed quietly. There was a moment's silence. Cal swam his fingers through the water again, suspecting it had gotten even colder. "I never used to be this insecure."

"Well, havin' kids will do that to you," Cal noted.

"I envy you though."

Cal raised his eyebrows at her; pure amusement.

"For having another kid."

Cal hesitated. "Is that because I have two kids and you only have one?"

Gillian gave a little twitch of an amused smile. "No. Because you're always so sure of what you're doing."

Cal shook his head. "I don't know what I'm doin'. I'm just guessin' based on a past experience."

"At least you have that."

"You worry too much," Cal announced. A chicken started clucking from behind him. He turned, startled.

Gillian laughed. "That's my fifteen minute warning to get out of the bath before dinner is ready."

Cal got up and reached for a towel to dry off his dripping hand.

"When is Lewis coming back?" Gillian asked pulling the plug.

"I said I'd go pick him up in a few hours."

Gillian nodded. "So, is this kind of like date night?"

Cal held out her towel for her. He gave her a brilliant grin and Gillian smiled in return.