This Is Not My Life Chapter 35 I'll Never Stop, a twilight fanfic

A/N: I'll actually just save it all for the bottom, eh?

Brother: You know what? Read it. Read the whole thing. It's the last chapter and you should get the whole experience. Just try to think of it as something one of your friends wrote. Not your sister. The sister that almost died making that pathetic excuse of a treehouse for the Calvin and Hobbes club. The sister that stuck ice in your diaper on that road trip. The sister who is actually really grateful you bothered to read this, but will never admit to your face.

Chapter 35: I'll Never Stop Being Thankful for You

(November 27th)

EPOV

"Yoo-hoo! We're here!" Renee called out as she stepped through the front door of my parent's house. Phil and Charlie were struggling with suitcases behind her and I rushed forward to help them as Bella and Lily came out of the kitchen where they had been hard at work baking for tomorrow with my mom.

"Nana! Baseball Phil! Papaw? Where's New Nana?" Lily rushed out in one breath, jumping into Renee's arms.

Charlie laughed breathlessly, setting down one of Renee's huge suitcases. "She's with her kids for Thanksgiving. Maybe we can all be together next year, but I didn't want to miss my first Thanksgiving with you, little one."

Lily shook her head at him exasperatedly. "Papaw. Little. Thing."

Bella walked over to Renee, brushing some flour off Lily's cheek. "Tone, Lily."

Lily nodded immediately as Bella embraced her mother briefly, missing Renee's eyebrows raise at the ease with which Bella quickly nipped Lily's attitude in the bud. Renee gave me a knowing smile as I shrugged, used to Bella's mothering way with Lily after the last two months. I'd kept my mouth shut about it, wanting her to realize it in her own time, but she'd figure it out sooner or later.

"How was your flight?" I asked no one in particular.

"Long," Phil groaned. "I need a nap."

"Oh goodness," Renee shook her head, her voice cracking into a yawn. "Don't even start talking about naps. There's much too much to do around here."

I shared a confused look with Bella as Renee set Lily down and began digging in her carry-on bag, emerging with multi-colored corn husks strung together. A lot of them.

"Phil, I'm going to need your help placing these above the doorways around the house. Edward, do you know where your father keeps his hammer and nails?"

I recovered quickly, not even sure why I was surprised at Renee's kooky decorations. She would never be the type to show up with something normal, like a pumpkin pie. But as things like that went, I could do much worse in the future mother-in-law department.

Just have to man up and ask the girl, Cullen.

"I'll go grab them for you, Renee," I smiled, shaking my head at my thoughts. It wasn't time yet. Not quite yet. But it was coming. Soon. I could feel it. My biggest problem was figuring out how to do it. Flipping the lights on in the garage, I knelt down and dug around in my dad's toolbox looking for a hammer.

"Hey, Edward," Bella's voice called out from the door, making me jump and hit my head on the shelf above me.

"Shit!" I cursed under my breath, rubbing the back of my head gingerly. "Yeah, baby?"

"Your mom says don't worry about the tools. Renee's just going to hang them up on the mistletoe hooks…Are you okay?"

Standing up, I walked over to her, still rubbing my head. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just knocked the shit out of my head on that shelf."

"Aw, poor Edward," she mock-pouted. "Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?"

I cocked my eyebrow at her, grinning. "I just remembered something else that's hurting…"

She shoved my shoulder, turning around and walking away. "Can't even take a break from the perviness for the holidays, dear?"

I caught up with her quickly, wrapping my arm around her waist. "You know, you only call me dear when you're especially exasperated with me."

Her lips twitched with a smile as we made our way back into the kitchen. "Then it's a wonder I call you anything else, ever."

"Oh, that looks beautiful, Emmett!" Renee exclaimed happily as he hung a string of corn husks along the top of the doorframe. "So we can all remember how important corn was to our ancestors! It's a very divine grain, you know."

Bella sighed heavily, smiling indulgently in her mother's direction. I squeezed her waist in support, knowing how much she had missed Renee. Lily came running forward, a string of corn bouncing around her neck.

"Nana let me have some for a necklace! Isn't that cool?" she grinned, a gaping hole where her front tooth had been up until two days ago.

"It looks great, Little Thing," Bella winked. "Do you want to get back to work on the pies with me or are you going to go play for a bit?"

Lily frowned thoughtfully, giving the matter serious consideration. "Play."

"Alright," Bella laughed. "Then, shoo, because I've got to get to work on the crusts now."

"Oh, Bella, let me help you with that," my mother chirped. "I might even trust you with my secret ingredient. My mother-in-law taught me."

Her offer was simple, but the undercurrent to her words was heard loud and clear. She and Renee couldn't have a conversation with us lately without making some little mention of in-laws, or future grandchildren, or the house that just opened up for sale two blocks away.

Lily must have gotten her subtlety from her grandmothers.

I reluctantly released Bella to let her walk over to the counter and resume her pie-making, leaning back against the wall to watch her work. Lily grabbed Renee by the hand, leading her out of the kitchen to play in the living room. Bella was working on chopping up pecans as my mom walked up beside her, setting a large bowl on the counter.

"Alright, so let me ask you, Bella…What do you normally use for your pie crusts?"

Bella shrugged. "The usual. Shortening, water, egg and flour. Little bit of salt."

My mom nodded excitedly, obviously eager to have a daughter to pass on her baking knowledge that would actually use it. "Alright, you take this bowl and work on the dry ingredients and I'll get to work on the wet mixture."

I chuckled at my mother's eagerness, pushing off the wall to check on Lily. She was teaching Renee how to make turkeys out of construction paper by outlining their hands, a mess of googly eyes and feathers and glue spread out around them. Emmett was still following instructions and hanging corn around the house while Charlie and Jasper watched Lily and Renee amusedly, Phil snoring on the window seat.

"Edward!" my mother's distressed voice shrieked through the house. I barely saw Charlie and Lily jump up from their seats before I tore down the hallway, running back into the kitchen. Bella was ashen and almost hyperventilating, her brown eyes big and full of tears as she backed herself as far away from my mother as possible, her hand clamped tightly over her mouth and nose.

"What happe-"

"Why does it smell like the bad house in here?" Lily cried out, running straight for the safety of Bella's arms. Bella's hands were shaking protectively around Lily's shoulders as she gasped and choked for air.

"Es…Esme…please…p-p-p-put it away…the v-v-vineg-"

She didn't have to finish before my mother picked up the bottle of vinegar I hadn't noticed before and a bowl of liquid, throwing them both into the garbage can and tossing the entire thing outside. She threw a towel on top of where the vinegar had clearly spilled, throwing that out as well after she sopped it up, straight onto the patio. She turned back to Bella with sorrowful eyes, her lip trembling.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I-"

Bella shook her head jerkily, still breathing quickly and clutching Lily tightly, whose face was wrinkled up in disgust. "N-n-no. I n-n-never m-m-mentioned it. T-t-to anyone." I wanted so badly to go to her, but something held me back, something in her eyes that conveyed her growing handle on the situation.

Her grasp on Lily slowly loosened as her breathing slowed. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she whispered, loud enough that we could all hear her in the stone silence in the kitchen. Lily nodded quickly, turning and wrapping her arms around Bella's waist.

"That smell's gross. I don't like that smell."

"I know," Bella said softly, running her fingers through Lily's hair. "I remember. But we're safe."

"We're home," Lily mumbled into Bella's legs, finishing the mantra for her. "We're here."

My mother approached them slowly, her face showing her remorse. "I really am so sorry. I had no idea."

Bella smiled weakly back at her, reaching her hand out to her, which my mother grasped thankfully. "No, Esme. I'm sorry. It's…I never told anyone about it. I'll explain later, if you'd like. I'm sorry about your recipe."

My mother sniffled and laughed, waving her off. "Oh, don't be, dear. My mother-in-law was an intolerable woman. She probably stole it from Martha Stewart or something anyway."

Bella laughed brokenly back at her, a few stray tears falling from her eyes as she picked Lily up, rocking her back and forth. "Well, for the record, you're the best mother-in-law I could ask for…I'll be back…I just…I just need a minute." She walked quickly, not even pausing when she reached her hand down and grabbed mine, pulling me with her out of the kitchen into the living room.

She stopped once we reached the room, looking up at me as if completely lost. I pulled her to the couch, settling Lily across both of our laps so I could wrap my arms around both of them. Bella snuggled into my chest, speaking softly.

"We used it to clean. Everything. The bathrooms, the kitchen, the floors…the whole house, it always smelled like vinegar…Are you really okay, Lily?"

"Yeah," Lily answered automatically. "I just…I hate that smell. It scared me. It makes me sad."

"I know. Me, too. But I think we actually did pretty good just now. We snapped out of it, just you and me," Bella encouraged, and I could hear the pride for Lily in her voice. I was really proud of her. She hadn't let herself become lost in her memories. She'd stayed present, calmed down on her own, still able to give comfort to Lily. My girl was fucking amazing. "And we'll still have a good Thanksgiving. We'll just let Nana handle the pies, okay?"

"Okay," Lily nodded, nuzzling the crook of my elbow as Bella covered her in a throw blanket sitting beside her. I felt like there was something I should be doing to help us get back to where we'd been just moments before, when everyone was laughing and getting ready for the holiday.

"Tell me what I can do," I whispered. "Please."

"Just hold us. I just want to stay where I know I'm safe," she whispered back, her hand resting on Lily's cheek as Lily nodded.

"Daddy always feels safe," she agreed softly, sending pangs through my chest. We stayed that way for over an hour, Lily dozing off at some point as the tension in Bella's body slowly relaxed, her sweet kisses periodically over my heart the only clue she was even still awake. We simply sat together, letting the somber moment pass in its own time, watching the snow fall outside the window as I held my girls close to my heart.

Everyone either holed themselves away in another part of the house or left entirely, because the whole house was completely silent while we sat in the living room together. When Lily finally woke up, she stretched out like a little kitten, her distress from earlier seemingly forgotten as soon as she saw the snow outside.

"Can we make a snowman?" she asked excitedly, jumping off of our laps and bouncing from foot to foot.

I looked to Bella, who had a small grin on her face. "I don't think I can remember the last time I made a snowman…But we have to bundle up!"

Lily nodded quickly, disappearing from the room and shouting for my mother's help. I kept my arm locked around Bella's shoulder, watching her closely.

"Are you sure you're alright, love?"

She nodded, her eyes open and honest. "I really am. It…it was so different this time. I mean, I smelled it, and I automatically felt like I was being sucked back…there…but I knew that I wasn't. It felt like two parts of my brain were fighting each other or something. Like…smelling it makes me feel scared, even though I know intuitively that there's nothing scary about vinegar. I knew I was in your mom's kitchen, that you were here somewhere, that he's gone…I don't think I know how to explain it."

"No, you are," I argued. "You know that's the first one where it was all you. I wanted to help you, but you just had this look in your eye like you needed to be the one to come out of it, like I couldn't do anything that time…Something told me to wait and see."

She smiled beautifully, her eyes lighting with that spark I fell in love with as she cupped my cheek in her warm palm. "Thank you for that. For letting me do it myself. I know how hard it is for you to not swoop in and protect me from everything. Lily, too…I feel kind of invincible right now. I'm totally ready to kick your ass in a snowman contest."

I scoffed, playfully pushing her hand away. "You don't stand a chance, Swan. Bring it."

She grinned, standing up to head upstairs and change. "So full of yourself. We shall see, Mr. Cullen."

Fuck, I love it when she calls me that.

"Care to make this interesting?" I wagered, a plan forming in my mind.

"I'm listening," she smirked.

"Impartial judge to decide the best snowman. Winner decides the prize. You game?"

"You're going down, Cullen!" she called out before she shut the door to her old room in my face.

If you let me, baby.

We made our way back downstairs to the kitchen, where our families seemed to be making their presence known again. Rose and Alice had returned from wherever they had been earlier and I was grateful none of them mentioned the incident. I did catch Charlie's concerned look and gave him a nod, silently letting him know I'd talk to him about it later and that everything was alright now.

"Why are you guys dressed like Eskimos?" Emmett asked suspiciously, already sticking his enormous feet into his boots.

"We're gonna make a snowman!" Lily announced, muffled through her scarf. My mom had her wrapped in a coat, hat, mittens, scarf, snow pants and snow boots. She looked like a giant, pink, fuzzy marshmallow.

"Yes!" Emmett grinned, pumping his fist in the air.

"We're going to have a snowman competition. How does boys against girls sound?" Bella smiled, her eyes on Lily. Lily grinned, running out of the kitchen at top speed.

"I'm gonna get clothes for our snowman. I mean, girl! I wanna make a snowgirl!" she shouted as she pounded up the stairs.

"That's some dirty fighting there, Swan," I mumbled under my breath in her ear. "Don't think I'm going to let you win just because you've got a cute kid on your team."

She smiled wickedly at me, teasing her fingers up my chest and into my hair. "Nothing dirty about it, Cullen. Me and my cute kid are gonna kick your ass."

"Go, Bella!" Alice shouted from the kitchen table as she and Rose clapped. My mom and Renee were working on the pies again, but I noticed with relief that Renee was only sipping on wine, not actually handling any of the food. Bella blushed as she realized people were watching us, namely her father.

"Whatever," Emmett scoffed. "Don't get cocky, Swan. I'm not gonna let you use your feminine wiles to distract Eddie here. Who's judging this thing?"

"I will," Jasper smiled, slipping his boots on. "And I say…One hour to create and decorate the snowman, using only materials already in the house and shed. Uh…no feminine wiles to distract. I declare winner. What's the prize?"

"To be determined by the winning team," I answered, not really sure how my plan would work if we were doing teams. No way was I sharing what I had in mind with Emmett. "Each member of the team gets to decide his own."

"Or her own," Bella corrected smugly.

"Family!" my dad shouted as he burst in the door, looking a bit worse for wear. His shirt was half un-tucked, his hair resembling mine. His forehead was a little sweaty, despite the cold weather outside. "I have returned!"

"Dad?" I approached cautiously. "Have you been drinking?"

"No," he answered seriously. "But I will be soon."

Turning to my mother, he pulled a can out of his coat pocket. "Woman…do you know what I had to go through to find this can of cranberry sauce for you? I, your brave husband, scoured the jagged terrain of Seattle, using my keen hunting skills to find the last known can of whole-berry, unsweetened, organic cranberry sauce for you, my wife."

He walked toward her, holding the can in the air like a trophy. "I navigated through the treacherous aisles of the evil that is Trader Joes on the day before Thanksgiving to find this for you. I fought through riotous crowds, old crotchety women with more coupons than sense and other desperate, brave hunters such as myself, emerging victorious to bring this home to you. You may thank me now."

"Oh my God, this is totally where you get it," Bella muttered quietly, shaking as she tried to keep from laughing.

"Carlisle," my mother whimpered, her face red with contained laughter. "I meant to call you…I found the cranberry sauce behind a can of corn in the pantry. We, uh…we don't need it. But…thank you," she tried to say sweetly.

"Throw it out," he demanded immediately. "Toss it into the garbage. You will use this can of cranberry sauce, woman, so help me God."

Bella doubled over as the entire room dissolved into laughter, except for my dad, who was seriously looking on the counter for the offending dish. He picked up the bottle of cooking wine my mother had beside the stove and took a huge swig of it, holding the can in front of her face.

"It will be used. Or I'm banning Thanksgiving for the rest of our lives."

She broke into hysterical laughter, taking the can from him and patting his cheek gently. "I'll use it, dear. The children are about to go outside and have a snowman contest. Would you care to help Jasper judge?"

"Fine," he nodded, holding up the bottle of sherry. "But I'm taking this with me."

"Yes, dear," she replied, wiping the tears from her eyes and shaking her head. He stomped back out the door, followed by Charlie and Phil after they grabbed a six-pack out of the fridge. Lily came back into the kitchen, her arms full of clothes and accessories.

"I'm ready!"

"Let's do this," Bella grinned, pecking me on the cheek before walking out the door with Lily.

"I think I'm gonna want bragging rights," Emmett groaned as he pushed a huge amount of snow onto the base of our snowman. "Like a week of being called 'The King,' or some shit. What're you gonna pick?"

"Not telling," I huffed, adding my own pile of snow on top of Emmett's mound. "Shouldn't this be rounder?"

"Can't rush perfection, Ed. Whaddya mean you're not telling?"

"Exactly that, Em. Not telling. As in not telling you," I sighed, trying to round out of the bottom of our snowman. Glancing over at Bella and Lily's creation, I frowned at the very clear form of a snowman already put together. "I think we need to rethink this world's largest snowman plan. We only have twenty minutes left."

"You dirty son-of-a-bitch. You're planning somethin' raunchy for a kiddie snowman contest, dude. That's just wrong…And you're wrong. This snowman's gonna be fucking epic. They'll be able to see it from space and shit."

"It just looks like a pile of snow. The girls are already starting to put clothes on theirs…And lower your fucking voice, will you? I already told you I'm not telling you shit," I snapped, stepping back to gauge our progress. "This is not working, man."

He too stepped back, scratching his head with his big, mitten-covered paw. "We may have been overly ambitious…Well, shit. Whaddya wanna do now?"

I frowned, shrugging. "I don't kn-" I was stopped by a snowball whacking me right in the side of the face. Glaring at Emmett, I barely had time to duck behind the snowman-turned-fort as he threw another one straight for my head. I packed a ball quickly in my gloves, jumping up quickly and landing one square in his chest.

He raised his arms up toward the sky, his fists clenched tight. "Snowball fiiiiiiight!"

"Bella and Lily win by default! Contest over! Every man for himself!" Jasper shouted, running forward and tossing a snowball at me, narrowly missing my leg.

"Hey! Quit ganging up on my man!" Bella yelled. "C'mon, Lily!"

The air was whirling with snowballs flying back and forth across the backyard. Lily defected to Emmett's side, leaving Bella and me on our own.

"I'm gonna remember this at Christmas, Lilybug!" I called out from behind the tree where we were hiding. "See if you get any presents from me!"

"I don't care, Daddy! Uncle Emmie says Santa will bring me lots!" she shouted back. "I'm gonna win you!"

All during this fight, my dad, Charlie and Phil were watching while they drank beer and cheap wine. Alice, Rose and Renee were watching from inside, sipping hot chocolate, probably spiked with Kahlua or Bailey's. My mother was braving the elements to take pictures of it all, per usual, always eager to add to her family albums.

We were at a standoff of OK Corral proportions. Jasper, Emmett and Lily behind the fort, Bella and I behind a large oak at the beginning of the tree line. As if she was in my head, Bella began whistling the theme from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

"We need a strategy," I whispered, grinning down at her.

"I have an idea," she began, the wheels in her mind working while she began putting together a pile of snowballs. "You take off your coat-"

"I already don't like this," I interrupted, shutting up when she raised her eyebrow at me. I'd seen her give that look to Lily plenty of times and it apparently worked on me, too.

"You take off your coat and we fill it with snowballs. I take my coat off and do the same, but stay behind you as we run out. You throw from your coat while we charge them and when we reach them, I'll come out from behind you and dump the snow onto them."

"Except," I pointed out carefully. "We're going to be getting snowballs thrown at us with no coats on. We'll freeze."

She chewed on her lips as she thought. "Well, technically, you'll be the one getting hit with the snowballs. I'll be behind you, so it'll be fine. Let's do this."

I gaped at her, shaking my head when I caught her mischievous smirk. "So the knight must be sacrificed to save his lady love?"

She shrugged, her smile breaking through. "Whatever you have to tell yourself, babe. I just don't want to get cold…Besides, you didn't ask me what I wanted for my prize. From the snowman contest?"

"Let me guess…you want me to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital dying of hypothermia?" I asked dryly.

She shook her head coyly, leaning forward as she looked up at me through her eyelashes.

Feminine wiles, Cullen! Look away! Look away!

"I want to let Lily spend the night here. And I want to take you home and warm you up. All. Night. Long," she whispered, darting her tongue out to wet her lips.

I fucking love feminine wiles.

"Are you okay with that?" I asked, trying to mask the hope in my voice. I'd been working 'round the clock to get these three days off for Thanksgiving and we hadn't had time alone since…I couldn't remember, which was a pretty bad sign. "What about your mom and Charlie?"

"My mom is exhausted from her flight and will probably pass out after dinner. Our dads are already half in the bag and it's not even five. We can be back over here tomorrow morning before anyone even wakes up. I miss you," she finished softly.

Cradling her face in my hands, she closed her eyes and hummed. "Bella, I have missed you so much. I swear to you, as soon as this residency's up, we're going on a vacation. A couple of days for the three of us and a couple of days just for you and me. And when we get back, I'll start up in my dad's old office and I will never be home later than six o'clock again."

She opened her eyes, always so loving and understanding. So much more than I could ever deserve. "I know, Edward. We'll be fine. There are much worse things…So, tonight?"

"Absolutely. Can we go now?" I grinned.

"First, we need to finish this fight," she smiled back, unzipping her coat to fill it with snow.

"You two better get back in this game or we're gonna smoke you!" Emmett yelled. We armed ourselves quickly, Bella hidden behind me.

"One…two…now!"

We ran forward and as I had predicted, I was pelted with a barrage of snowballs, cringing as some of Emmett's iceballs made contact with my unprotected chest. I did my best to give back just as good, grinning when I caught Jasper right in the forehead. Lily's snowballs missed far and wide so I spared her from most of my onslaught, but Bella didn't have any such mercy.

She dumped the contents of her coat on top of all three of them, making sure to pour some down the inside of Emmett's and Jasper's coats. It got to the point where we weren't even bothering to form the snow before tossing it, instead just grabbing handfuls and chucking them at each other.

"Alright, alright! I think it's time to call it a draw. Edward, Bella, get your coats on before you freeze!" my mom shouted out over the roar of the battle.

"Five more minutes, Mom," Bella squealed as Lily tackled her, landing on top of her.

"Make a snow angel," Lily ordered, flopping off of Bella to lie beside her, sliding her arms and legs across the snow. I didn't give Bella a chance, given that I could see her teeth chattering. I didn't really relish the idea of her spending Thanksgiving in the hospital with hypothermia, either.

I yanked her up, shaking my head. "No way, my mom's right. It's time to go and warm up."

Her eyes widened as she blushed. "Edward, we can't leave yet!"

Laughing, I grabbed her hand as I pulled Lily up with my other. "Who's the perv now? I meant inside, here, and warm up. But if you're in that much of a rush…"

She narrowed her eyes at me, scowling amusedly. "Keep making fun," she sing-songed in warning.

"Where're you guys going?" Lily piped up.

I answered her, but looked at my mom who was giving me a curious look. "Bella and I thought you might like to have a sleepover with Nana tonight."

"But I thought we're all gonna have a sleepover tonight already?" she asked, looking between Bella and myself confusedly.

"Oh, he meant a special sleepover," my mother jumped in, saving me. "No parents allowed, only Nanas and Papaws. What do you think?"

As soon as my mom said the word 'special,' Lily was sold. Her face lit up as she walked over to my mom. "Can we have hot chocolate now? With marshmallows?"

"Is there any other way?" my mother joked, guiding her inside, but not before winking at me once. Wrapping my arm around Bella to try and bring us both some warmth, we left Emmett and Jasper wrestling in the snow behind us, our dads cheering them on.

"Oh, that is so much better," Bella sighed, settling into my side in front of the fire. We were all warming up with hot chocolate after changing into dry clothes, snuggling under a blanket while Lily prepared to perform 'Lily Time' for us. It was something she and Bella had created to help fill me in on the days when I worked from before dawn to night and could barely keep my eyes open to drive home.

It had now taken on a life of its own. Lily's performances were nightly, even on days like today when I wasn't working. She used props, practiced in her room during the day; sometimes it was just her telling a story, with no mention of her day at all. Either way, I ate it up, because I knew the day would come when she'd barely tell me 'fine' when I asked her how her day was. Even if some nights, Bella had to remind me of that fact.

"When's the pizza gonna be here?" Emmett barked, rubbing his stomach as if he'd never eaten before.

"Pizza?" Bella asked, confused.

"Cullen family tradition. My mom works so hard on Thanksgiving for two days straight, that we order pizza the night before and the men clean up," I explained, rolling my eyes as she nodded approvingly.

"Nice," she grinned.

"And I won't eat again until lunch tomorrow when the turkey's served," Emmett announced proudly. "Gotta make sure there's plenty of room for seconds and dessert."

"Okay, okay, I'm ready," Lily announced, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention. She caught herself, her eyes jumping straight to me and Bella. "I mean, excuse me. Sorry."

"It's okay, Lily," Bella smiled sweetly back. "Thank you for remembering without being told."

Lily beamed with pride, picking up her turkey to display to the room. Clearing her throat dramatically, she began. "Okay. It's Lily Time! Today, I'm gonna show you my turkey and tell you about corn and my snowgirl.

"This is my turkey. It's really my hand and Bella taught me how to make it."

I nudged Bella, eyeing her questioningly.

"Google," she whispered, making me chuckle as Lily continued.

"This is my corn necklace and it's not really a necklace but I made it my necklace. Um…corn is really old and the Pigrins and Indians ate it for Thanksgiving everyday…And today I made a snowgirl with Mommy and we beat Daddy and Uncle Emmie. And for my prize I wanna TV for my room."

"No," Bella and I answered in a bored tone in unison.

Lily had been told no for this before, so it wasn't exactly a shock to her. "Can I pick a movie to watch for sleepover tonight?"

"Of course you can," my mom smiled. "But I'm afraid I…lost your Little Mermaid movies. So anything but those."

Lily frowned, looking around the room. "Well…I guess we can watch Beauty and the Beast. But maybe I can find them. I'll go look. Lily Time's over!" She scampered over to the entertainment center and began digging through the movies.

"What do you want to do, love? Stick around for dinner or grab something for ourselves?" I asked before kissing Bella's temple.

She sighed, turning to rest her chin on my shoulder. "I don't know. It's so warm in here. Can we go after dinner? Pizza sounds good."

"It does," I agreed, just as the doorbell rang. Emmett ran to the door and returned quickly with a stack of pies.

"Alright. Pizza time."

After dinner, I was about to go find Bella to leave when Emmett stopped me.

"Hey bro, can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

"Outside?" I asked incredulously. "It's freezing, man. Can't we talk in here?"

He shook his head. "Nah, man. I need some privacy."

Concerned, I nodded. "Alright. Let's go."

He pointed me on, turning to walk out of the living room. "You go ahead. I'll be right there."

Almost ten minutes later, he finally appeared with a confused-looking Charlie, Jasper, and our dad in tow.

"Emmett?" I asked. "What's going on?"

He raised his hand up, shaking his head. "Everybody get comfortable."

We all found seats on the freezing patio furniture, warming our hands around the Chimnea after he lit it. We sat patiently, waiting for him to explain himself. I was starting to get kind of worried.

"Alright, look. We're here to talk to you about baby B."

"No, we're not," Charlie interrupted automatically. "I'm here 'cause you said you had beer. If you don't, I'm goin' back in where it's warm."

"Okay, okay," Emmett muttered, walking over to a cooler by the back door and pulling out a case of beer. "There…So, Edward. When're you gonna marry her?"

My eyebrows shot to my hairline as I realized he was being serious. I was freezing my balls off because he was trying to butt his nose into my relationship.

"Are you kidding me, Em? I'm fucking freezing out here so you can get in my business? I hate to tell you, but the first person to know about it will be Bella, not you."

He narrowed his eyes at me, not intimidated by my sharp tone. "So have you got a ring? Asked Charlie yet?"

"Consider my permission granted," Charlie said gruffly. "Can we go in?"

"Why exactly are we here?" Jasper interrupted, motioning between himself and my dad.

"To pass on our knowledge and marriage advice to our brother and son here so he can keep B happy. I will kick your ass if you make my sister cry," Emmett said firmly.

I just stared at him. "That's your advice? That sounds more like a threat. A completely unnecessary one."

He ignored me, turning to Jazz. "Jasper? Anything you'd like to add?"

"Yeah," Jazz nodded, taking a deep swig of his beer. "Never listen to anything Emmett says, and you'll be married forever."

My dad snorted beer out of his nose as he chuckled, almost falling over onto Charlie. "Always go get the cranberry sauce," he snickered, making Charlie guffaw.

"Don't look at me," Charlie shook his head. "Divorced for twenty years. I'm the last person to ask for advice. But I think Jasper's probably on the right track," he choked out through his laughs.

Emmett was completely undeterred by their amusement, looking at me with something close to pain in his eyes. "Does it still happen a lot? Does she get scared like that a lot?"

Everyone's laughs cut off abruptly as I finally realized the cause of Emmett's seemingly ridiculous concern. Facing them all, especially he and Charlie, I shook my head. "No, man. I think that's the first time something's happened like that outside of Siobhan's in weeks. And Emmett, you've got to believe me when I say that today was…it was a fucking stellar achievement on her part. She told me all about it. I mean, she was able to talk out her feelings afterward, she explained what set her off, she didn't black out…She's really okay, man. I promise. My girl's strong."

Emmett nodded, his eyes fixed on the beer in his hand. "I know she is, I just…I wanted to make sure she's okay. That she's happy."

"I'd like to think she is," I said with a small smile. "And I plan on spending the rest of my life keeping her that way. You're free to kick my ass anytime I don't, though."

"As if I needed your permission," he scoffed, rubbing his nose suspiciously and standing. "Alright, fine. It's fucking cold and I'm satisfied. I'm going in."

Jasper and my dad jumped up immediately, but Charlie remained in his seat, so I stayed put as well, waiting him out. He obviously had something to say. Once we were alone, he nodded to himself, taking a drink of his beer.

"I meant what I said before. Whenever you decide to do it, you've got my permission, if that matters to you at all," he mumbled quickly.

I blinked at him in shock before I recovered myself. "Of course it does, Charlie. I…thank you. That means the world to me. I'd planned on asking you soon, I'm just still working on a good idea on how to ask."

He smiled a small smile, looking wistfully down at the ground. "Do yourself a favor. You can kill yourself trying to figure out all the perfect little everythings that you think she deserves and needs, but…try to think of who you're asking, not the where or the how. That's probably the best I've got." He stood, clapping me on the shoulder as he passed.

I remained, leaning my elbows on my knees as I contemplated his words, analyzing them. Not considering the ideal setting I thought a proposal should have or the way I would phrase my words to convey my feelings, I focused simply on Bella.

Staring out into the backyard as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, a slow smile came across my face as his words hit home.

Wandering back inside, I began searching through the downstairs trying to find Bella so we could leave. I followed the giggles and snickers to my mother's room, where Rose, Alice, my mom and Bella were sitting on the bed.

"Edward!" Bella exclaimed as she ran over to me, her eyes bright with red cheeks. "Hi!"

"Um…hi. What are you guys doing in here?" I asked slowly, wondering why my girl was talking so loudly and why the women on the bed were still laughing.

"Nothing," she answered quickly. Too quickly.

"O-kaay. Where's Lily?"

"She went to bed with Nana. I mean Renee. I mean my mom," she blurted out in one breath, dissolving into giggles as the other women cackled loudly.

I raised my eyebrow as something hidden behind Rose's back caught my eye. Walking around Bella, I held my hand out expectantly, rolling my eyes when Rose tried to play innocent.

"Give it to me, Rose. How much have you guys had?"

"What are you talkin' 'bout, Eddie?" she asked, her face red and her eyes glassy.

"Good heavens, Edward. Like you have any room to talk. Bella and I have peeled you and your father off the ground more than once. Loosen up. Learn to have a little fun," my mother chided, sounding surprisingly lucid.

"How much have you had?" I asked her pointedly.

"Oh, none. It's much more fun to watch them. Besides, if Lily needs me…" she shrugged, watching Alice attempt to take a drink from their bottle behind Rose's back and failing miserably as she fell over.

"But Bella, your medication…" I eyed her worriedly, trying to check her pupils and slyly take her pulse as I grabbed her wrist.

"Oh no, it's okay," she said seriously, holding her arm out limply. "I just didn't take it today. It's fine. I didn't have very much, I swear."

Amused more than anything, I sighed. "And how much is not very much, dear?"

She snorted, covering her mouth with her hand in embarrassment. "Dear. You called me dear. You must be exsapr-exarserb-you must be irritated with me."

"I'm not irritated," I laughed. "I'm just wondering if you want to stay the night here now."

Her eyes widened as she shook her head quickly. "No! No. I wanna go home with you. I wanna go have all the sex."

Rose and Alice howled on the bed, falling on top of each other as my mom struggled to maintain her composure. Clearing her throat, she gestured to the door. "Well, it sounds like you have things to do. She only had a couple of shots; she's just a bit of a lightweight, apparently."

Bella didn't even catch my mother's innuendo, only addressing her last comment. "I didn't used to be. I used to be able to drink the boys under the table on the Rez. I dunno what happened."

"Rose and Alice happened," I answered, guiding her out of the room, waving goodbye over my shoulder to the rest of them. "Let's get you a water to take with, alright? How are you feeling? Do you think you might be sick?"

"Oh, Edward," she groaned, pulling away from me to get a bottle of water out of the fridge and grabbing a piece of pizza as well. "I had two shots and had the giggles. I'm not even drunk. I'm just…happy."

"Happy, huh?" I smiled, leaning against the counter, watching her eat, giving her time to sober up. "Do I even want to know what you four were cackling about back there?"

She shook her head, grinning. "No way."

I studied her closely, glad to see she wasn't swaying anymore and seemed calmer. "So…are you too happy to stay awake in the car ride home?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, that fiery glint I recognized and craved shining in her eyes. "I don't know. Is there something to stay awake for?"

I heard the challenge in her words as they caused her desired effect. Stalking toward her, I smirked as I saw her eyes widen and her throat swallow. Taking her hand, I ran it down my chest, pushing it against the front of my jeans.

"Do you feel that?" I whispered. "Ever since you told me you wanted to go back to our house tonight alone, I've been walking around with that. At this rate, we'll be lucky to make it home before I bury myself inside of you. Is that enough of a reason to stay awake?"

Her breath had picked up, a flush spreading across her chest. "I think I'm wide awake now."

The car ride home was probably the longest one of my life. Bella didn't help matters by teasing me with her hands and soft kisses at stoplights. By the time I pulled in front of the house, I was ready to snap. Throwing the car into park, I immediately reached across the seat to kiss her. She moaned into my mouth as her hands began to roam, her body melting into mine the best the gear shift and the center console would allow. Finally growing sick of the awkward maneuvering, I wrenched myself back.

"Don't move," I ordered.

Running around to her side of the car, I pulled her out, not expecting her to grab me by my collar and kiss me again right then. Before I knew what was happening, her legs were wrapped around my waist as I pinned her against the car, my hands trying to find purchase inside of her coat. A car passing by honked loudly.

"Woo-hoo! Yeah!" Some idiot yelled out into the frigid night air, forcing me to remember our surroundings.

Not even taking a second to breathe, I didn't bother to set Bella back down on the ground as I walked up the steps to the brownstone, her kisses on my neck making unlocking the door really difficult in the best possible way. I finally got it open and went inside, pushing her against it to close it.

"Want you. Now," she gasped when I ground against her, desperate for relief.

"Fuck," I cursed, frustrated at how many layers of clothing separating us. Setting her back down on her feet, I kept kissing her as I walked us toward the stairs, pushing her coat off of her shoulders while she did the same to me. I lost my shirt and my belt next, followed by her sweater and boots. A trail of clothes leading to the stairs was left behind us as I kicked off my own shoes and socks. I wanted to take off her jeans, but I couldn't tear my hands away from her chest, feeling her breasts beneath my hands as if for the first time.

I bumped into a table, twisting us around to keep moving toward the stairs, almost crying with happiness when she pushed down my jeans and boxers in one sweep. I wrestled with them around my ankles momentarily, hopping a bit as I kept moving toward her. She continued to back away toward the stairs, smiling as she reached behind her back to unsnap her bra. She tossed it at me, reaching for the button on her jeans when I caught up with her. Pushing her hand away, I took over where her hand had left off.

"You're taking away all my fun, Beautiful. Are we really going to run up the stairs completely naked?"

She stood still as I pushed her jeans down, nipping at my neck. "I don't think we're going to make it up the stairs tonight, Edward," she whispered into my ear. She backed away, leaning against the wall as I knelt to pull her jeans off the rest of the way, my heart beating out of my chest in anticipation. I started to snake my hands up her legs to find her center and ready her, but she shook her head, pulling on my hands until I was standing again. "No. Please. I need you now."

If there was one thing I couldn't handle, it was when she begged me like that. It didn't hurt that she looking fucking amazing standing completely naked before me, the house completely silent except for us, still unlit and dark from our rush to undress each other.

I lifted her up by the waist, her legs wrapping around mine as I positioned myself and pushed into her, my eyes rolling back in my head as her slick heat took me in.

"Jesus fucking Christ shit," I groaned incoherently. "This isn't going to be gentle, baby."

"Oh my God," she moaned out as I pulled back and slammed into her again and again, feeding off the sound of her cries, the feel of her nails digging into my skin.

"You know what I want, baby. I need to hear you."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," she chanted, progressively growing louder and louder. "Don't stop. Please don't stop."

"No way am I fucking stopping," I grunted, feeling the change inside of her as I found that spot, the one that made her completely lose it. "Shiit, I can feel you. Christ, you feel so good wrapped around me."

Her only response was to kiss me stupid while I swallowed her moans like air to a drowning man.

"Is this what you want? For me to fuck you just like this?" I ground out, my teeth clenched in an effort to not come right then and there, her lips and teeth unrelenting against any skin she could reach. Trying to calm myself, I changed the tempo, thrusting in and out of her deep and slow as her back slid up and down the wall. "Or do you want it like this? Tell me, Isabella."

"God," she whimpered, winding her fingers into my hair so tightly it hurt, sending spasms of pleasure straight to my groin. "Harder, please, harder!"

Jesus. I would break her back if I fucked her as hard as I wanted to right now. Slipping out of her for a painful minute, I pulled us away from the wall and sat on the stairs, leaning back and holding her so she was sitting on top of my thighs. She slid her wetness forward, not needing any encouragement from me to continue, tightening around me almost immediately.

"Oh my God," she cried. "Edward!"

She looked fucking radiant above me, her eyes closed and her head thrown back with one palm on top of my chest as the other clawed at the wall. When she came, I embraced her thin waist with my hands, sitting up to take control and moving her up and down my cock as she continued to clench around me. Her breaths were still choppy when she opened her eyes, looking straight into mine as she held my face in her hands, the atmosphere shifting instantly from desperate need to raw emotion.

"I love you," she moaned, tilting my face up to kiss me. I snaked my arms around her back, one hand fisted in her wild mess of waves and the other flat against her skin as I kept guiding her over me. There was no urgency in our movements as fucking morphed into love-making, the rush to find completion replaced by the connection humming between us, the connection I only had with her, would only ever have with her. Only she could bring me to my knees with a look, a smile, a kiss.

"I love you," I groaned as I spilled into her suddenly, the sensation making me almost dizzy. I clutched her sweaty body close to mine, trying to calm my breathing while she lightly scratched my scalp with her fingernails. "Mmm. I love you so much, Bella."

I held her there on the stairs for minutes, maybe hours, just relishing the uninterrupted closeness with her, the absence of rush or responsibility. She pulled back after a while, opening her eyes lazily as she smiled. "What would you have picked?"

I shook my head at her, really not able to keep up with the way her mind worked sometimes. "Picked for what?"

"If you won. What would you have picked for your prize?"

I grinned, standing with her in my arms. As I walked up the stairs, I answered her.

"Let me show you."

. . . . . .

BPOV

(November 28th)

"Go, go, go, go…Yeeeeees!" Emmett's shouts could be heard through the house and probably all throughout Queen Anne as he cheered his team on, the football game blaring as he, all the rest of the men and Rose watched the big Thanksgiving Day game.

"Now this is the hard part," Esme muttered. "Tearing the lot of them away from the TV long enough to come eat lunch. If there's one thing that competes against food with Emmett, it's sports."

I laughed, helping her and Alice set the last of the dinner dishes on the formal dining table. "I don't know how many Thanksgiving dinners I had with Charlie and Billy in front of the TV."

"Watch the master at work," she winked, grabbing a pumpkin pie off the table before walking out into the living room. Seconds later, she was followed by everyone, Emmett practically stalking her with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Edward kissed me briefly, looking around the room. "Where's Lily?"

"With my mom," I grimaced. "Something about 'preparing for the feast.'"

His eyebrows rose as he bit his lip, the same thing he always did when my mom did something especially strange. He was adjusting much better than I ever thought he would, I had to give him credit for that. But neither of us was prepared for Renee entering the dining room in a tan deerskin dress decorated with a beaded collar, Lily trailing behind her wearing her cornhusk necklace and dark feathers poking out of the top of her pigtails.

Esme almost dropped the dish in her hands as she took in Renee's appearance, her eyes wide.

"Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!" Renee beamed to the room. "Sorry if we're late. Lily was helping me prepare for the feast."

Everyone murmured their greetings back to her as they walked numbly to the table.

"Mom?" I questioned tentatively, not really sure I wanted to know the answer. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Oh, Bella! Did I not tell you, honey? On my last spiritual journey I spent some time with the Iroquois and I learned so much from them in regards to the tradition of Thanksgiving. I was so grateful for the Cullen's inclusion of us in their traditions, I wanted to contribute as well," she smiled sweetly.

There was a very real possibility I whimpered as Edward guided me to a seat between him and Lily. Everyone found a seat as Renee remained standing, her hands held before her.

"If you don't mind, Esme, I'd like to say the prayer."

Esme nodded absently, swallowing her glass of wine in one swallow.

Renee took a moment to compose herself, drawing her arms into her chest to 'gather her chi.' "Today we have gathered and we see that the cycles of life continue. We have been…" She continued on for several minutes, thanking the Earth Mother, the Waters, the Fish, the Plants…by the time she reached the Four Winds, I thought Emmett was going to dive into the turkey headfirst. Lily listened enraptured as my mother finished, giving her thanks to the Creator, motioning for everyone to speak in chorus with her as she said her last, "Now our minds are one."

Everyone waited with bated breath, trying to make sure that she was really done before relaxing. When she sat, some of us clapped, I heard a couple of hushed 'Amens,' and I was pretty sure my dad wished Phil the best of luck in the future.

Carlisle was reaching for the carving knife when Esme cleared her throat, raising her eyebrow at him.

"I'd still like to do our tradition, dear. Let's let everyone say what they're thankful for."

"Mom!" Emmett cried, looking close to tears as he gazed longingly at the food in front of him. "You're killing me here! It's the same every year. You and dad are thankful for the family and you want another grandbaby. Me and Rose work on it daily, trust me. Alice is thankful for Jasper and he's thankful for her. Rose is thankful for me and I'm really frickin' thankful for her, 'cause she had me sit Drew Brees on my Fantasy league today and start Peyton Manning instead and I just won a hundred bucks. Edward's thankful for Lily and Lily's thankful for everything on the planet. Please, Mother, I am begging you…Feed me. Feed me before I die."

Esme stared blankly at him before gesturing to me.

"But you've forgotten about our newest members, dear. Shouldn't they get to express what they're thankful for?"

Charlie and I shook our heads in unison, neither of us wanting the attention. Renee smiled so sweetly, I began to wonder how I would be able to tell when she began losing her mind as she aged.

"I've already said my thanks, Esme. I don't want to keep Emmett from his food. He's a growing boy."

"Renee, I have always loved you," Emmett swore, his eyes serious and thankful.

Edward sighed next to me heavily as he saw his mother caving in to Emmett's puppy dog eyes, standing up and pushing his chair back slowly.

"Two minutes, Em. I have one more person to be thankful for this year."

Emmett glared at him until he turned his eyes to me, immediately softening. He smiled, grumbling good-naturedly. "Two minutes."

"Thanks," Edward sneered, rolling his eyes. He looked down to Charlie, Renee, and Phil, winked at Lily and rested his eyes on me.

"I'm as thankful as ever for my family, especially our newest members, Renee, Phil, and Charlie...but I don't have the right words to express my thanks for my Bella, she's the one that's good at that."

Everyone chuckled as I tried to sink into my seat. He gave me a playful wink before continuing, his eyes trained on me.

"I can never and will never be thankful for the circumstances that brought her into our lives, my life, Lily's life, but...because nothing can change the past, I can only say...I'm thankful for you, and I'll never stop. For your strength and your courage, your kindness and your compassion, your love and your light, and the fact you've deemed me worthy to receive even an inch of it.

"I'm thankful our family is finally complete," he finished, smiling and reaching over to brush Lily's cheek, giving me a quick kiss on the forehead before sitting down. As everyone began serving themselves, the last of his words reverberated in my head. I couldn't help but disagree slightly.

As far as he and I went, I was completely happy. We could stay as were forever and I would still be happy. But as I looked at Lily, it felt like there was something missing from us.

"Whatsa matter, Bella?"

I don't want you to call me Bella anymore.

Plastering on a smile, I shook my head. "Not a thing, Little Thing."

Giggling, she returned to her carefully crafted mountain of mashed potatoes, a plan forming in my head to fix it. Soon.

After lunch, no one wanted to move as we sat in a tryptophan-induced coma, the leftovers taunting us to try for thirds. I probably could have slept at the table if Alice hadn't jumped up, clapping.

"Time to turn on the Christmas carols!"

She had to be kidding.

"Alice, it's still Thanksgiving. You don't start Christmas stuff until the day after Thanksgiving," I argued.

"Says who?" she scoffed. "The meal's over, it's time to start having Christmas fun. Besides, it's Lily's favorite holiday. She's in charge of decorating the cookies and gingerbread house."

"Ooh! I love the gingerbread house! Can we, Bella? Please?" Lily pled, her face full of excitement.

Like I can say no to that face.

"Alright, kiddo," I grinned. "Lead the way."

She squealed, pulling me up from my chair and dragging me into the kitchen.

"So are we doing gingerbread house or cookies first?" I asked.

"Um…I think we should let the walls and stuff cook and then cook cookies," she said firmly.

"Let's get to work then," I nodded, pulling out bowls and ingredients for us to start. Some of the family filtered through to clean up dishes, some went off to take naps, and some, meaning Alice, began decorating the house with garland and mistletoe.

"Who made cookies?" Lily asked as she slathered icing on top of the cooled sugar cookies.

"Uh…we did, Silly Lily," I answered, shaking my head at her.

"No. I mean, who made the first cookies? How did they know? And why'd they make the rule you can't have 'em for breakfast?"

I blinked at her in shock a few times, trying to come up with an answer.

"I have no idea who made the first cookies. My guess is that somebody was experimenting, the same way you and I do when we're making a new recipe, and they got lucky with cookies. I'm pretty sure parents made the rule about no cookies for breakfast. We don't want our kids' teeth to fall out."

"But I love it when my teeth fall out!" she exclaimed, proudly pointing to her gap. "The tooth fairy gave me a dollar quarter!"

"Uh…right. But the tooth fairy only gives dollar quarters for teeth that fall out from loose teeth. She, um, doesn't give money for cavity teeth," I explained awkwardly.

"Ooohhh," she marveled, nodding as if what I said made any sense at all. Her expression changed as she frowned thoughtfully. "How do you know?"

"Experience," I lied. "I had a tooth pulled once and tried to stick it under my pillow, but she wouldn't take it."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Bella," she sighed sympathetically, patting my hand.

Esme wandered into the kitchen, smiling warmly with what looked like tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay, Esme?" I questioned, concerned.

"Oh, I'm fine, dear," she waved off. "Edward was looking for you."

"I've been in the kitchen all day. He knows that," I laughed. "Where is he?"

"I'm not sure. You might check outside," she gestured to the back yard, where sure enough Edward was sitting in the porch swing in the gazebo.

Confused, I wiped my hands of the icing and sprinkles and slipped on my coat, intent on figuring out what he was thinking. It was under twenty degrees outside.

"Hey," I called out as I made my way through the snow to him. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."

"There you are," he smiled. "I wanted to show you something."

"O-kaaay," I drawled out slowly, walking into his embrace, letting him turn me to face the yard. We stood there in silence for a minute until I grew impatient. "Couldn't you have shown me snow from inside?"

He chuckled, kissing my head. "You don't think it's beautiful? Look around you, the trees in the background, a wide open yard all around. You should see it in spring. My mom's garden is blooming with her roses and the wildflowers sprout along the treeline."

"It is beautiful," I conceded. "Let's come back and see it in the spring. When it's warm."

"That's fine," he replied nonchalantly. "I just wanted to show you the place where I'm getting married."

I burst out laughing in his arms. "Wow! Well, congratulations. When does this joyous occasion occur?"

He snorted into my hair, tightening his arms around me. "Spring, of course. I thought I made that clear."

I shook my head at him, leaning further into his chest. "Sounds like you've got this all planned out. You just need a fiancé."

He loosened his arms around me, turning me around to face him, holding my hand in his. His crooked smile in place, he snapped his fingers as if a sudden thought struck him.

"I knew I was forgetting something."

Keeping my hand in his, he went down on one knee as my heart tried to escape out of my chest. I was trapped in his gaze, his eyes full of love and hope.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I love you. I promise to love you, every part of you, for as long as you live and will let me. You've become everything to me, everything to Lily, and I know what I'm asking of you to take this next step. But I told you once I would wait until we were solid and sure and just right to ask you. And I believe that time is now.

"Marry me, Bella."

Tears were streaming down my face as he watched me, unconcerned with my silence, because he already knew the answer.

"Stupid right," I mumbled, sniffling. His lips twitched, but he remained on his knee, my hand in his as he lightly rubbed over my for now bare ring finger. Looking him straight in the eye, I tried to keep my voice as strong as I could due to my tears.

"Yes, Edward. I will marry you."

He stood immediately, hugging me tightly. When he pulled back, his eyes were the brightest green I'd ever seen them. "That was our first hug engaged," he whispered, in awe.

"We're about to kiss for the first time engaged," he breathed, his eyes dancing all over my face as if he were trying to memorize everything about this moment. I did the same, keeping my eyes open as he leaned in, not closing them until the last possible second when his lips met mine.

I lost touch with all reality as his lips moved against mine, something unbelievably amazing about kissing him with the knowledge that he was going to be my husband. I could have kissed him forever, trading control of our movements as we took turns possessing each other as intimately as I'd ever felt.

When we finally stopped for breath, I gasped as he did, our foreheads touching until something glittering on my finger distracted me. That had not been there before he kissed me. I would have noticed a diamond solitaire. I was sure of it.

"How?..."

He winked at me, that cocky, crooked smile in full force.

"Ninja. Stealth."

"Aww. Look. You just made your first bad joke. Engaged," I snarked, smirking as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"I can think of something else I'd like to do for the first time engaged," he threatened playfully, waggling his eyebrows at me.

I shook my head at him in amused disbelief. "This has got to be the perviest proposal ever."

"Proposal's over, love. It's too late now. You said yes. You're stuck with me," he grinned proudly, lifting my hand to kiss my ring finger. He rubbed it absentmindedly, his eyes searching mine. "You're going to be my wife."

All the air rushed out of my lungs as I heard that word leave his lips for the first time. "You're going to be my husband. And…" I trailed off, saying the words in my head first before gathering the courage to say them aloud.

"What?" he asked, his eyes creased in concern.

I blinked back tears, smiling so wide my cheeks hurt. "And I need to go ask someone a very important question." I grabbed his hand to pull him toward the house, stomping through the snow as fast as possible. I could see Lily watching us through the window, sitting on the counter with Esme standing behind her and wiping tears away.

I burst through the door, releasing Edward's hand to walk over to Lily as Esme stepped away. Lily's eyes were wide, a little bit confused and a lot a bit hopeful. Blinking at her once, I waited for her to blink back before I picked her up off the counter to stand in front of me. I knelt down, holding her hands as her tiny little fingers played with my ring.

"Lily? Daddy just asked me to marry him," I whispered, waiting for her to take her eyes off the ring to look at me. "It's called a proposal."

"Pro-po-sal," she repeated back slowly, nodding.

"And I said yes," I continued, keeping her eyes locked on mine. "But I have a proposal, too. For you."

She looked confused, so I hurried on.

"Lily," I whispered, clearing my throat. In a stronger voice, I tried again. "Lily Autumn Cullen. I love you so much. I've loved you since the first minute I saw you and heard your laugh. I love you when you want ice cream for dinner and cookies for breakfast, when you smile at me and tell me you love me, when you scream at me and tell me I'm not your favorite person right now…You once asked me how I love you and I told you that I love you like a Bella loves her Little Thing…Can you ask me again?"

"What do you love me like?" she asked immediately, practically demanding.

I smiled a bit at her, trying to keep the tears at bay for just a few more seconds.

"I love you like a Mommy loves her daughter…Lily, my Little Thing, my giggle monster, my daughter…Will you please let me be your Mommy?"

"I don't have to wait until you get married?" she whispered hopefully. I shook my head once, my eyes wide as I waited for her answer. At that moment, nothing else existed in that room except for her and me.

"Yeeeess!" she squealed as she tackled me, sending us both to the ground, just like our first meeting. "You're my mommy! You're my mommy!"

Laughing, I pushed off the ground, standing with her in my arms. Edward was still standing where I'd left him, his eyes glassy and his chest heaving with emotion.

"C'mere," I smiled. "Come have our first family hug engaged."

He choked out a laugh, the action pushing a few tears out of his eyes. Crossing over to us in two strides, he wrapped his arms around us and squeezed the breath out of me in a hug comparable to Emmett. Laughing sobs escaped my chest until Lily made her protests known.

"Daddy. Leggo."

He loosened his hold around us slightly, enough for her to squiggle out of my arms.

"Do I get a ring, too?" she asked, her eyes trained on my hand in Edward's.

We both laughed, shaking our heads at her.

"Maybe we could get you a necklace," I bartered, thinking of my grandmother's locket in my jewelry box at home. She wrinkled her nose a bit, but nodded anyway, her expression slowly growing excited again.

"Now I get to tell everybody!" she shrieked, taking off for the kitchen door.

"Wait!" Esme cried out, freezing Lily in her tracks. "Dear, let's let them tell everyone. Come, you and I will go join everybody in the living room and we'll act extra surprised."

"You knew," I said, eyeing her suspiciously and trying to hide my smile. "Before, when you came in here, you knew."

She beamed at me, walking over to stroke my cheek. "It was sort of necessary, given that you're wearing my mother's ring. And it looks beautiful on you."

I gasped, looking down at the ring, then back to her and then to Edward, who almost looked like he was blushing.

"Um…I kind of wanted to marry my Nana Lizzie when I was a little boy. She told me no, obviously, almost broke my heart, but…she said I could have her ring to give to the right girl one day when I found her…" he trailed off, looking down at the ring on my hand nostalgically, giving it a small kiss before raising his eyes to meet mine.

"You beautiful, beautiful man," I whispered, pushing onto my tiptoes to kiss him. I faintly registered Esme's voice saying…something…but I was too wrapped up in him to understand it. His arms were around me like a steel cage, almost crushing me to him. As our kiss slowed to small pecks in between gasps for air, I couldn't help but smile. "I'm so glad Nana Lizzie turned you down. I would have missed the chance to become Mrs. Cullen."

In a flash he had me up on the counter, his hands woven into my hair as he gazed at me with fire in his eyes. "Mrs. Cullen," he whispered in awe. "That sounds so fucking amazing."

I knew that look in his eye. It was the look he got when I came out of the shower in nothing but a towel. It was the look he got when he caught me dancing in the kitchen. That look led to many, many good things, none of which could happen right now. Not in a house full of people that we had news to tell.

"Well…" I began, looking away in thought. "I might actually just hyphenate. Or maybe you could hyphenate. Or maybe we could just hyphenate the kids'-"

I was cut off by his growl against my lips as he consumed my mouth, my plan to make him laugh completely backfiring as he set my body ablaze with his roaming hands. Every whimper of protest I gave to try and pull away was only met with more pressure, more domination.

"Edward," I panted, muffled by his lips. "Your fami-"

"Dr. and Mrs. Cullen," he said forcefully, his eyes full of light and happiness. "And you're not hyphenating the kids' names. I'm not putting our children through twelve years of role-call hell."

I smiled, nodding thoughtfully. "Bella Cullen. I guess I could get used to it…Just out of curiosity, how many children are we not putting through twelve years of role-call hell?"

He framed my face with his hands, rubbing his thumb on my bottom lip. "If we never have another child that's fine. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about at least one more. After my residency's up, after we've had a little bit of time to enjoy just being married to each other, practice a lot in the meantime…"

"Perv," I laughed. "But I think that sounds like a great plan…Are you ready?"

"Are you?" he countered. "Ten bucks says Alice already has our wedding planned."

"Well, that's not fair," I sniffed. "You just backed me into a corner to lose ten bucks."

Grinning, he stepped back, picking me up by the waist off the counter to set me on my feet. Sighing heavily, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"We're going to wish we'd worn earplugs," he muttered under his breath as we walked down the hall.

Everyone was lazing about, the TV humming in the background. Esme had Lily pinned to her lap, trying to keep her from sliding off as she vibrated with excitement. As soon as she saw us in the doorway, she screamed out, "Daddy and Mommy are getting married!"

Oh, he was so right about those earplugs.

"Oh my God! I'll bring your notebook tomorrow. It has everything you need," Alice sang, running over to give us a hug. I elbowed Edward as he motioned for money with his hand, shaking my head at Alice's questioning look. Rose hugged Edward and me quickly before stepping aside for Esme ane Renee, who were squealing something awful. Carlisle's smiling face was the last thing I saw before I was swooped up by Emmett. I was dizzy by the time Emmett stopped swinging me around, only to be passed to Jasper for a very un-Jasper-like hug of the same fashion. I hadn't realized I had been passed down a line of sorts until I was dropped right in front of Charlie, clinging to his arms as I waited for the room to stop spinning.

"You okay there, Bells?" he asked amusedly as he patted my back.

I stood up straight and nodded, smiling brightly at him. "I'm perfect, Dad."

"You always have been," he swallowed thickly. "Glad you found a man that knows it."

"Dad…" I shook my head, blushing. I was a long way off from perfect.

"Don't argue with your old man," he said sternly, his mustache twitching in amusement.

"Whatever you say, Chief," I saluted him, turning toward the sound of Lily's continuing squeals. Edward had picked her up and she was still bouncing in his arms. Laughing, he gave up trying to hold her and she hopped her way over to me.

"Mommy…Mommy…Mommy," she punctuated each jump.

"Lily…Lily…Lily," I hopped right back, meeting her halfway before we crashed onto the couch together.

"I'm so excited," she grinned, turned sideways like I was to face me head on. "When are we going to get married?"

"In the springtime," I smiled back. "We're going to get married in the backyard here. Will you be my flower girl?"

Her eyes widened to saucers as she nodded emphatically. "I always wanted to be in a wedding!"

"You're going to be in a wedding?" Edward asked, feigning surprise as he slid onto the couch behind me. "Whose wedding?"

"Mine!" Lily cried out happily, making us both laugh.

I hummed as Edward wrapped an arm around my waist, his other hand reached out for Lily. The noise around us slowly faded away and I peeked over the back of the couch to see Esme slowly guiding everyone out, winking at me once before closing the door. I settled more against Edward's chest as I watched the fireplace fizzle and crackle, trying to wrap my head around the craziness of the day. How we'd come to this point, against so many odds and overcome them all. Things would never be completely easy and simple, just as they weren't now, but they were as close to perfect as I'd ever need.

As I listened to Lily chatter away about the wedding and babies and ponies carrying rings, I squeezed Edward's arm around my middle, smiling when I felt him kiss my hair absentmindedly as he nodded and shook his head to Lily's ramblings. After all this time, after everything that had happened, here I was.

Because this…this is my life.

The End

Monster A/N: Thank you for reading my story. I've never had the courage to try and write anything before and all 13,000 reviews I received up until this point have given me the encouragement to continue, even the mean ones. Thank you to everyone who embraced and enjoyed the story.

EdwardsBloodType: Thank you for pushing me to explore the plot bunny in my head and put it down in writing. Thank you for beta'ing for me for as long as you did, through some monster chapters.

Bellamarie117: Thank you for taking over and doing an amazing job combing through my words and helping them to make sense. I loved your comments most of all, which sometimes made me laugh and sometimes made me cry (in a totally good way). And for not killing me when I sent you 10k word chapters on Saturday nights.

Fantasy Mother: You've become a very good friend and I appreciate your opinions, thoughts, brainstorms, criticisms, and distractions when I want to do anything but pictures of RP aren't too bad either. Are you packed yet?

Songster: Thank you for all your professional advice throughout the story. You were so generous with your time and thorough in your answers. I had fun chatting with you in between times, too.

D Pattinson: See ^. :-) You were always so helpful, even when I sent you a question in the wee hours of the night. Thank you for all your help.

Monamour: Thanks for all the hard work you put into making the FGB auction a success. Your organization and efforts made it all happen. To everyone who bid, you raised over a thousand dollars for children's cancer research with Team Isakassees. Thank you all for your generosity.

Thanks to SparklingTwilight and ms_ambrosia for the banners they made for the story. Jersey, if I could figure out how to download the fucking thing onto my computer, I'd totally be using it, I swear.

Again, to all my readers, thank you. You'll note that I'm not marking this story 'complete' yet, and that's because I've got a two-part epilogue still to come. The first part will be up in two weeks, the second…I'm not sure, probably about a week after that.

I appreciate your patience for the epis. School's out, baby's crawling…you get the idea.