Aaaaaaaaye, Fun news! So, turns out the next chapter and this one go together super well, because I'm a monster, and so I wrote chapter 39 up too, so I can post 38 later tonight. I might get 39 up later tonight or early tomorrow morning too, but I want to finish 40 before I post it, and I might just wait until tomorrow night to post because I'm an ass and I wanna make you guys wait, like an ass. Buuuuut here is 37, it IS centered on Chris, so if you aren't down for some Chris/Peter feel free to skip, it's only vaguely plot important, everything important implied here will be made clear next chapter, so this is skippable, just join us later for 38!

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Maybe Allison could still see them, he figured. But by the time Chris was out of his truck and walking quickly to follow his daughter to the hospital door, Dean, Sam, and Scott seemed to have all but disappeared. Ms. McCall even lagged behind them by a significant distance, only just in front of Allison before she'd decided to hold the door for him. He gave a sweet smile at her patient impatience, taking support of the door. "Go see your friend, Sweetie." He insisted as she waited for him to come in.

"You don't mind?" She seemed surprised. He shook his head, and nodded after Scott's mom.

"I'm sure you're worried, go on. I'll be up." She ran off.

Honestly though, he had lied. They didn't seem like great friends. She seemed to only bother with the kid because of her new friends. He didn't even really care to follow her. Dean said he was alright. That was really the limit of how much he cared. Knowing Derek Hale was probably up there, him keeping his distance was probably best. He wasn't sure how much he believed Stiles did or didn't know, but no matter what his presence would be… awkward.

He sighed. He shouldn't go. He should go back out to the car. He wouldn't want to see him. He wouldn't want anything. Not anymore. Besides, with everything going on, seeing him was the last thing Chris needed. It wouldn't help. It wasn't comforting. It wasn't good to see him. It was as good as staring at a charred corpse. If anything it was him mocking himself. Reminding himself that there wasn't even a grave to visit. Just a body rotting away in a room. But still, the busy but empty feeling halls drew him in. Reminded him of the living tombstone pointlessly stuck in the long term care wing. Hissed the nurse's words back at him from years ago. "He gets so few visitors… I'll just let you see him…"

Before he knew he'd even decided, the elevator was dinging open. He went to the desk. A different woman, but the same words… The same fake pitying smile. The same dimly lit room. Oh god… The same gut wrenching feeling, ripping through him like a knife as he tried to give a smile for show. He walked towards the bed, slow and stiff as the nurse pulled the door closed and "gave them some space". He didn't know what to do, what to say when he knew no one could listen…

"Peter…" He said as if it was hello, not bothering to sit. A million things suddenly shouted to be said in his mind. His lungs hurt to know he couldn't bring himself to say most of them. "As he even visited you?" He said with the weakest spite. He scoffed at himself, figuring he shouldn't "upset" him. "For all I know, he could have. The nurse wouldn't tell me. Why would she? Who am I?" He looked down at the bed, trying to keep steady. Apologize. He thought to himself. But for what? What sin should he confess first? What sins would a corpse even care to hear. Apologize! Was all that came again, like thunder through his brain and lightning through his soul, and it just poured out. "I'm sorry…" His broken voice took him by surprise and down the flood gates fell. "Peter, I'm so sorry..." He sobbed, still unable to look at him, fist grabbing the blanket beside Peter's leg. "This is all my fault, Peter… This is all my fau-. God, I wish you were here, I wish you could hear me, I wish this had never happened…" Chris got to his knees, resting his head against the mattress, sobs shaking through him so hard he imagined his words must have been unintelligible. "Peter, I miss you so much… I miss you so fucking much… I should've been there for you, I….." He choked on the shuddering of his words as his sobs only got worse. "...should've stayed." He realized what he'd said once he said it, all that it mean, how terrible it sounded. He didn't bother with taking it back. It might have been a passing thought, but he was still terrible enough to think it, and he deserved to know he meant it. He didn't deserve the redemption of taking it back. He collected himself enough to stand, realizing Allison wouldn't be a lot longer, and that he needed time alone to get it together. As it was it took all he had to not sob as he all but stormed out, never once having glanced to the stormy glare that watched his every move and heard his every word.