The moment he got back to his room, Renzou plopped down on his bed and buried his face into his pillow. It was Friday. He should be rejoicing over the fact that the week was almost over, but they still had morning classes tomorrow, and even worse, he was still dealing with the aftermath his actions had triggered the other day.
Ever since he had snapped at Yukio in the middle of class, the rest of their friends had finally clued in on the fact that things weren't well between them. That meant that, since then, they hadn't been able to let go of the issue. Renzou understood their concern, he really did, but that didn't mean he appreciated it. Things between him and Yukio were over. He'd decided on that after he'd found out Yukio had been lying to him for years, and his determination had only grown since that day. Of course, he'd tried to keep up pretenses for a while, for the sake of their friends, but Renzou's temper had gotten the best of him. He was still mad at himself for letting that happen. It was usually easy for him to bury his emotions and keep his true thoughts at bay, but seeing Yukio wearing that accursed uniform for the first time had rattled him.
Now, he couldn't escape Konekomaru's knowing looks, Bon's pointed frowns, and Rin's questioning eyes.
At least he was able to avoid Yukio. Renzou was grateful that they no longer shared a dorm, and glad that they only had to attend Anti-Demon Pharmacology twice a week. He only had to endure facing Yukio then, and as awkward as that had been so far, Renzou was hanging on to the hope that this would all blown over soon enough.
If it doesn't, this year's gonna suck, he thought bitterly.
Renzou's fingers began to dig into his sheets. He felt frustrated. There was enough going on in his life. He didn't need this, too, dragging him down. Not for the first time, he wished he had never come to True Cross Academy…
The sound of his phone ringing interrupted Renzou's somber thoughts.
An irritated groan escaped him. Renzou considered letting it ring, but he reluctantly rolled to his side and reached for his phone. His heart sank down to his stomach the moment he saw the name on the screen.
Okumura Yukio.
Renzou stared at his phone for a moment and wondered if he had fallen asleep already.
Are ya freakin' kiddin' me?
Why was Yukio calling him again?
Renzou's jaw set and he jabbed the ignore button angrily before throwing his phone to the side. He curled back into his bed in a foul mood.
A minute later, his phone began to vibrate in short bursts. Renzou ignored it for the entirety of two minutes and then his curiosity got the better of him. He read the text messages that had arrived with a blank look on his face.
[Ren-kun, I'm going to be at the cafe nearby the dorms at 5 PM. The roof is purple and you can most likely see it from the dorm building. You can't miss it.]
[If you could meet me there, I would greatly appreciate it.]
So Yukio wanted to meet with him…
This was the second time Yukio had reached out to him like this. Renzou frowned at his phone and tried not to let the ache in his chest rule his actions again.
"Why do ya keep doin' this…?" he muttered quietly to himself as he stared down at his phone. He let the screen go dark and then flipped his phone shut. Unable to help himself, he got up from his bed and headed to his window. He spotted the building Yukio had mentioned right away. Renzou wondered if the other was already there, waiting for him. Was he really expecting Renzou to show up?
A small part of him felt tempted. A part of him wondered what Yukio planned to say to him. The other's last attempt to talk to him had been laughable. The stiff, formal tone he'd taken had reminded him of the last few letters they had exchanged. Thinking back on it now made Renzou feel tired. He didn't want to keep relieving these moments, these feelings. He'd had enough.
Renzou let his gaze drop with a sigh, and as he slipped back into bed, he willed himself to sleep and to forget.
Yukio's fingers tapped on the surface of the table in a quick and agitated pace. He glanced at the clock again for what seemed like the thousandth time and saw the numbers change.
6:47
He pressed his lips together in a thin line and looked down at the coffee in front of him which had long since turned cold. The time of "he could just be running late" had passed and Yukio was aware that he'd been ignored. Ren-kun didn't want to meet with him. He didn't want to work this out at all. Ren-kun really wanted to give up on this.
There was the distinct sound of Styrofoam ripping and he looked down to see the cold coffee spilling out over the table from a hole his fingers had made. A waitress hurried over with napkins before Yukio could even register what happened. After a small bit of fussing and reassuring the waitress that the coffee had been cold, and thus he'd not been burned, he made his way out of the shop. His pace was quick yet aimless. He felt a multitude of emotions in his chest. Anger, hurt, helplessness, and determination.
He couldn't let it end like this. He wouldn't let it end like this.
Yukio was thankful that his pants had been black so the coffee stain didn't show as he found purpose in his step and headed straight for the boys dorm.
It was about seven in the evening when he arrived. The sun had set and Yukio tried not to knock too hard on Ren-kun's door even though his fists were shaking. Time passed all too slowly as he waited for the door to open, and when it finally did, he forced himself not to look as nervous as he felt.
"…Yukio." Renzou stared at Yukio blankly, too surprised to show any other sort of emotion. He couldn't believe the other had actually come by to see him.
"What are ya doin' here?" he asked quietly.
"Please let me in." Yukio's tone was as tense as his jaw. "I would rather discuss this privately since you seem loathe to do so in public."
Renzou's eyes narrowed at the jab.
"I ain't fond of the idea of talkin' with ya privately either," he said, standing his ground.
"Why not?!" Yukio's voice raised slightly in volume but he quickly hushed it with his next words. "Don't you want to fix things? I thought we were friends, Ren-kun. We've been through too much for you to shut me out like this."
Renzou stared at Yukio incredulously.
"Friends…?" The pink-haired teen smiled tightly as he shook his head. "Are ya seriously, actually listenin' to yourself?" Renzou scoffed. "Don't ya freakin' pin this on me. The one who shut the other out first was you, and ya know it," he snapped. His hand tightened around the doorknob, and he considered shutting the door right then, but a fire had lit up inside of him already, and if Yukio was going to continue to insist on going through with this, then Renzou wasn't going to avoid it any longer. He stepped aside and let the other walk inside.
"Get in."
Yukio's anger tamed slightly as he stepped over the threshold. He turned to face him and once the door was closed, he started speaking. His tone was softer than it was in the hall. "Look, I'm aware of my own mistakes and I'm willing to make it up to you. I know I've been busy and I know that's no excuse and I'm sorry. So please, let's just talk about this. Stop pushing me away."
Renzou looked at Yukio with a blank expression. The ball of anger inside of him continued to grow and grow as he listened to the other speak.
"Is that all?" he asked tonelessly. "That all you've got to say?"
Yukio's eyes widened in slight shock and, again, Renzou had caught him off-guard. He opened his mouth for a moment before frowning. "Ren-kun… I… What else do you want me to say? I apologized and I want to fix our friendship."
Renzou let out a humorless snort. "It's a little too late for that." The pink-haired teen slipped his hands into his pocket and smiled thinly. "Ya really think this is just about ya ditchin' me, don't ya?" The more he stared at the other, the more Renzou's resentment for him grew. How could Yukio be so clueless? How could he not realize what it was that was bothering him?
Renzou was tired of waiting for the other to own up for his mistakes.
"That ain't it at all," he told him flatly. "What I'm pissed about is the fact that you've been keepin' secrets from me. You've been doin' it for years. And not once since we met up did ya think to talk to me about it all. Some friendship we've got," he spat bitterly. Clenching his jaw, Renzou went on before the other could speak.
"Ya know, for a while I thought we could fix things too. When we met the other day at the fountain, I… I wanted things to go back to the way they were too. But let's be real. There's no way that's ever goin' to happen. Whatever we had back then was a thing of the past. We're different people now."
Renzou own words pained him despite the anger that was driving him to speak. He swallowed thickly, forcing himself to continue. He couldn't back out now. Not anymore. As he stared straight into Yukio's eyes, Renzou steeled his heart and said the words he knew had to be said.
"Let's just call it quits."
The steel in Renzou's heart was like a knife to Yukio's chest. He had been lying, and he'd known it. But before, he thought it was out of necessity. Before, he thought that his friend didn't know of the Order… But afterwards? It was all about Nii-san. He still couldn't tell Renzou the whole story. It would endanger his brother… But… He didn't want to lose his only friend.
"I refuse to accept that!" Yukio kept the eye contact. There was an almost desperate tilt to his tone and his arm moved sharply at his side as if to mirror his distress. "Yes, I lied, but I had my reasons! If you'll just…" let me explain? Tell Ren-kun that you're the son of Satan? That your older brother inherited the demonic blue flames? "If you'll just listen, I'm sure we can come to an understanding. Please, Ren-kun. Don't end it like this."
"Don't—call me that." Renzou's voice shook. The familiar nickname caused an ache in his chest that he didn't know how to deal with. Renzou tried to hold on to his anger, to his disappointment, but instead it was exhaustion that hit him. Yukio's pleas fell on deaf ears.
"Just, quit it already," he murmured. "Nothin' ya say's gonna change my mind. I'm tired of this, okay?" Renzou rubbed a hand through his face. He broke eye contact with Yukio and instead focused his gaze on the ground.
"Just… leave, Yukio. Please."
Yukio stood there, his heart twisting in his chest in such a painful manner that it took all his resistance not to whimper out loud. Ren-kun had been his friend. His only friend. His best friend. And now, through fault of his own, he'd lost him. And it was for good. There was no going back from this. He looked down at the floor because looking at his face where the pink locks were in his field of vision just made everything harder.
"I see." Was he speaking? Yukio felt like he wasn't in total control of his body. "Then I'll just be on my way. I'm sorry to have troubled you." There was a broke sort of monotone that carried his words. He turned to the door and opened it. "Good night," he whispered. Yukio walked out into the hallway and shut the door behind him. For a moment, he didn't know where to go but the autopilot that seemed to have taken over his brain now controlled his legs as he began walking down to the exit.
It's over...?
