Awakening

Chapter 24

Judas?

May, 201-; Senior Year – Prom Week

Chris Hargensen, Sue Snell

"I've always tried to be faithful. I know deep down that God has a plan for me, and I've tried to be what I think he wants me to be. It's so hard, though. Sometimes I have doubts that this… this test is part of something. Sometimes I think that I'm being punished for who – or what I am. Over and over again, things have gone wrong for me. People hate me. I know that they hate and always have. It feels as if everything I've been through has been a test of my faith and devotion, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. Now things actually seem to be going my way. I think Prom might actually be a turning point for me. I think I understand now. I think I'm ready to become what I was meant to be. I will NOT be afraid. I will NOT cry. I will NOT let the others hurt me.

I will become what I was meant to be. I WILL be myself and I WILL be confident.

I know I'm ready! I know that [the remainder is illegible.]"

- Except from Carrie White's diary dated two days prior to the Prom.

"I wish the two of you would just hug it out and be done with it," Tina Blake said with an exasperated sigh and she leaned against the locker next to Sue Snell's. "You've been friends for, like, forever. This isn't right."

It was a warm, late spring afternoon, and the sun cast long shadows through the hallway. Under normal circumstances, Sue would be happy just to be alive. Today however, things were far from normal. For starters, was she was thoroughly beat. A couple of weeks ago – seemingly in another lifetime – Sue had volunteered to help the prom committee decorate. Both Tina and Norma Watson had nagged her relentlessly to sign up, and she eventually caved in to their demands. It seemed like a wonderful idea at the time, especially given how the student council had been pushing the It's your prom theme during the semester. Of course, when she had originally agreed to stay after class and hang stars and streamers from the gym's ceiling, she was actually planning on attending the prom. That was where most of her problems originated.

Things sure can change in an instant, can't they? Sue thought as she absentmindedly wiped glitter off of her jeans. I was going to go, wasn't I? All of us, together, were planning on having the best prom ever. We were supposed to meet up at Tina's and the after party was going to be at the Hargensen's. It was meant to be one last, big fling before graduation and college. We were all going to have a blast. Everything was set. I've spent the past three years fantasizing about having the perfect prom. I had my dress picked out and the most amazing date I could ever hope for.

"I'm not angry," Sue said. Her voiced seemed much louder in the nearly vacant hallway. It wasn't the first time Tina had suggested that she and Chris make up, and Sue figured it wouldn't be the last. She bit her lower lip as another twinge shot through her stomach. She suspected that it was probably stress related, but something in the back of her mind seemed to disagree.

It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to chalk her queasiness up to stress. Sue's assurances weren't entirely true; she was angry. She was angry at Chris and Tina and all of the others for creating a situation that put her between a rock and a hard place. She was angry at Carrie for her continuous and unending victimhood and unwillingness to change. Above all, she was furious with herself for being a part of the whole mess. Sue knew that she responsible for her choices, and that had she been more mature, things would be different. Ever since elementary school, Sue had deferred to the will of her clique. It was incredibly important for her to belong and everything she did was done with that in mind. Sue was always aware that the wrong word or action could result in her eating lunch alone in the bathroom. Each day was a tight-rope walk, and she never knew when the wind would blow and knock her off. It was terrifying, but as long as she kept her wits about her and didn't screw up too badly, she knew she could count on her friends.

Friends? Are they really my friends? Chris pretty much told me off yesterday, and given what Frieda told me…

'She really hates you,' Frieda Jason had told her. 'If half of what Rhonda told Marie was true, she's really gone off of the deep end. I don't even feel comfortable repeating some of what they say she said.'

Sue shook her head as if trying to rid herself of the thought. Frieda wasn't the only one to clue her into what Chris was saying. Heather McKenna had mentioned in passing that Hargensen was still fuming, and Helen Shyres, in spite of herself, had let on that something was going on. There was a chance that it might very well be nothing, but Sue's gut told her otherwise. If Chris was angry enough, anything could be possible.

We are friends. We've got to be friends, right? We were supposed to be in this together. Best friends forever…

She had tried to ignore the uncertainty she felt as she chatted with Tina, but suspected she was tipping her hand. Earlier on that afternoon, Sue had seen Chris sneak into the gym and pull Tina off to the side. She wasn't sure if that was how Chris found out, or if she had known beforehand. Someone – anyone – could have called or texted her at some point.

I think she already knew. Chris would have gone ballistic when she first found out Tommy was taking Carrie. She seemed far too calm. There's no going back now, I guess. Even if we might have patched things up before, I don't think that's an option at this point.

Maybe it's for the best. Maybe I should move on and forget them. Frieda said she'd be there for me. That's something, right?

Sue seldom argued with anyone, let alone made a habit of getting into heated shouting matches. Like all teens, she occasionally had disagreements with her friends – including Chris. Typically, they were short and apologies were almost instantaneous. As far as Sue was concerned, being right wasn't worth wrecking her friendship or torpedoing her social standing. The fight she had with Chris – and as far as Sue was concerned, it was a full-blown fight – changed things irrevocably. This wasn't just a spat over something stupid like a boy or ditched hang-out session. No apologies were forthcoming, and Sue hadn't received so much as a solitary text message from Chris. There was real anger and something intangible died. It was almost as if Sue could smell the bridge she was standing on start to smolder.

Hypocrite. You don't give a shit about Carrie White, Chris's words rang through Sue's head. If you think that anyone is buying your Joan of Arc routine, you're sadly mistaken.

Every syllable felt like a physical blow. Sue could imagine the ground falling out from beneath her feet. Everything she had worked for was evaporating right before her eyes. Sure, she had good grades and was pretty, but what did that matter if she was all alone? Being a part of things defined her and gave her a purpose. She had a group and an identity. Sue hadn't slept much the night after she and Chris fought, and she spent most of the following day on edge and shaken.

What if I lose the rest of my friends over this? I know that it's important to have principles, but is it worth being ostracized? Chris will talk to the rest of the group and I'll probably end up being cut off. I know the Twins and Vicky will definitely side with her. Tina will probably try to mend fences, but I know she'll back Chris. I don't know about Heather or Helen. How did it come to this? Aren't friends supposed to be able to overlook this sort of thing? Aren't we friends?

"Were," she muttered under her breath. Tina either didn't notice or didn't care.

We were friends. We were always supposed to be friends, weren't we? Best friends forever, right? I guess I've known in the back of my mind that things would change, but I never thought it would be so sudden – or that I'd be the one who changed. I loved Chris and the others, but things are different now. I guess I should have seen it coming. Maybe it is my fault. Maybe I'm just not happy being who I am anymore. I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror. I'm not the person I know I should be. I screwed up. I got myself into a mess and I couldn't figure out how to make things right.

"I'm not the one who's angry, Teen," Sue repeated, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "I also don't have anything to apologize for."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"I don't get it," Tina said as she stretched and stifled a yawn. "I can understand not walking out with Chris during detention because you didn't want to miss out on the prom, but why the hell would you turn around and… and…"

"Because I felt bad about what we did – what we've done in the past," Sue said, cutting Tina off. Tina hadn't blown up at her the way Chris had, but she still seemed incapable of comprehending why Sue had done what she had – even after having had it explained to her three times.

It didn't surprise Sue that there would be plenty of blowback and awkwardness after her fight with Chris Hargensen, and it surprised her even less that people were taken aback by her decision to have Tommy escort Carrie White to the prom in her place. Ever since word had gotten out, she had been subjected to an almost nonstop barrage of questions and snide comments. Sue knew all too well that word travelled quickly in high school, and that once started, it was next to impossible to stop a juicy rumor. Sue didn't have a clue as to who might have spread the word. At this point, she figured it didn't really matter. What she did know for certain was that she was the one who people were whispering about. She was the one people were staring at.

It isn't fun being on this side of the rumor mill, is it? Sue asked herself rhetorically. How many times have I laughed at other people? How many times have I passed on some bit of gossip without even thinking about how it might hurt someone?

Too many times. Far too many. I might not have started all of them, but I did my part. I've hurt people doing this - gossiping and spreading rumors. I never really understood how it felt to be on the other side of things.

It made Sue feel extremely uncomfortable. Growing up, she had become used to being the center of positive attention. In the past, whenever people spoke of her, it was always because of something good; she was popular and did well at school. Only on rare occasions did anyone actually say anything malicious about her – and more often than not, whoever did so was set straight fairly quickly by her friends. In a way, it was almost as if she had become...

It's like I'm becoming Carrie. This must be what it feels like to be her; to feel all of those sets of eyes bore into you. I was a part of that. I stared. I laughed. I was no better than any of the others.

"I've never seen Chris this upset before," Tina continued. "She feels like you betrayed her. She was actually crying."

Like Tina, Sue had seen Chris at her worst, and understood that there was usually a fair amount of theatrics involved in her outbursts. Sure, there were moments of sincere emotion and plenty of genuine tears, but there were more than a few instances that were for show. A lot of what she typically did when worked up was for effect and she wasn't averse to turning on the waterworks when she thought it was to her advantage. It was manipulative and underhanded, but Sue was more than willing to overlook it. After all, she and Chris were best friends, and best friends didn't begrudge each other their flaws. Things were different now, and what Sue had viewed as a simple personality quirk took on a darker, more unpleasant color.

She's manipulating Tina. She's been manipulating me, too. I've seen her jerk around some of the other, less popular girls in our grade just like this. Chris would dangle acceptance in front of them and use the risk of upsetting her to force them to do what she wanted them to do. That's exactly what she's been doing to me all along.

Sue winced as a sour taste rose up from the pit of her stomach. Realization came suddenly, but not unexpectedly. Part of her was already aware of her behavior and how it affected others.

The hell of it is that I'm really no better than Chris. I've done the exact same thing. If I wanted something from someone, I'd smile and chat with them as if I really cared what they thought. I knew I was popular and that they'd give me the benefit of the doubt. I've led people on and cut them loose when I no longer needed to pretend. I did that to Carrie back in middle school. I acted as if I really wanted to be her friend, but ditched her as soon as my real friends showed up.

Am I any better? Don't I want to be better? Do I really want to be the sort of stuck-up snob who'd use people without hesitation? Shouldn't I expect better of myself? Do I want my kids to grow up to be like that?

Do I want my kids to be like Chris?

Tina had paused for a moment, apparently waiting to see what the effect that last bit of information had on Sue before plunging ahead.

"I can understand why she was upset. We're her friends and she was probably counting on us to back her up. Yeah, it probably wasn't a great idea to mouth off to Desjardin, and maybe she shouldn't have ditched detention, but once she did, we definitely should have walked out with her. I mean, we were all involved, right? Chris was pissed off at me, too. She actually yelled at me! She's never yelled at me before!"

"I know," Sue gently shut her locker and shouldered her backpack. She briefly contemplated pointing out the fact that none of the others seemed to share Tina's sense of after-the-fact solidarity, but thought better of it. "I just… I just think what we did was wrong. We went too far."

"Uh huh."

"Chris and I will either work it out, or we won't," the words felt empty on Sue's tongue. They probably wouldn't be working anything out. Tina stared at her for an extended heartbeat before deciding to examine the linoleum tiles at her feet.

She knew without a doubt that there would be problems; that certain classmates of hers that she always considered to be friends of hers would pull away. What she wasn't prepared for was how difficult it would be to tell who was still a friend and who wasn't. Tina was still seemed to be friendly towards her, but there was a sense of hesitation that set off alarm bells in Sue's head.

"And neither of you really care about those of us caught in the middle," Tina crossed her arms as she looked up and favored Sue with her most melodramatic pout. Tina seldom failed to mention her status as collateral damage in any disagreement. "Seriously though, you really did hurt her."

"Yeah, well, she wasn't exactly trying to make amends the last time we spoke," Sue tried to keep her growing frustration from giving her voice an edge. "I don't exactly appreciate being called a hypocrite."

"Chris is just being Chris. This isn't the first time she's lost it and said things she didn't mean. You know she'll come around," Tina said matter-of-factly. "Just give her a chance to cool down. She'll probably get over what you did. Eventually."

"I didn't do anything wrong."

"Look at it from Chris's point of view. She's barred from going to the prom – which we both know she's been obsessing over since, like, kindergarten – and she all of a sudden finds out that the girl responsible for her getting banned is going with her best friend's boyfriend. How would you feel?"

Chris got herself banned; Sue thought but decided not to say aloud. Other than being her usual self, Carrie didn't do anything to deserve what we did.

"I-I'm not going to change my mind about this. We screwed up – I screwed up – and I needed to make things right. I-I had to apologize and this was the only meaningful thing I could think of. I don't regret doing it, and I know Tommy supports me on this. Chris is just going to have to accept that. You understand, right? We really messed up, Tina."

Tina shrugged her shoulders and made a noncommittal noise. Sue didn't really expect her to express sympathy for Carrie or actively speak out against Chris, but the apparent lack of any guilt made her feel uncomfortable. What they had done that Friday had been far worse than any of the teasing or mean-spirited jokes they've subjected her to over the years. Sue liked Tina, or at least the Tina she had grown up with – the Tina she had known before the tampon incident. That Tina had been sensitive and gentle, and in spite of being a little catty from time to time, always had a sense of right and wrong. The fact that that Tina was gone – or perhaps never existed in the first place – hit Sue like a ton of bricks. What was even worse was the realization that perhaps she knew all along and simply didn't care.

I benefitted from it. I liked being popular. Being popular seemed to make everything so much easier. I didn't have to worry about rumors or gossip and I always had at least one friend in each of my classes. Things were good. I'm not surprised that I refused to see it. I was one of them. What was it that the other students called us? Ultras? Whatever it was, I was one of them. I was their friend and they were always nice to me. It makes perfect sense that I wouldn't want to rock the boat. Who would? I mean, I did speak up every now and then when they picked on Norma or Frieda; they were friends of mine after all. I never really did say anything when they bullied someone I didn't care about, though. I didn't think it was worth it to ruin my friendship – or my place in the social order – to go to bat for someone like Holly Marshall or…

Or Carrie White.

"Shit. I still can't believe you talked Tommy into going along with it, and with Carrie White of all people?"

"It's the right thing to do. As I said, Tommy's with me on this. He was more than willing to volunteer."

He loves me. That's why he agreed. He loves me.

"Is Carrie White really worth jeopardizing your friendship with Chris? Is she really worth any of this?"

Sue mulled over what she would say, but couldn't come up with anything that didn't sound hypocritical. In a sense, Chris was right. She was being a hypocrite. She had told herself over and over again that it was the right thing to do. No matter how much she repeated it, Sue couldn't honesty deny that it was as much about making her feel better as it was about apologizing to Carrie. Maybe, on a darker, subconscious level, she even intended to hurt Chris a little by doing so.

"Hey, Tina!" Norma called from down the hallway with excessive cheerfulness. Tina cringed in response. "Hey! Did you finish printing up those ballots yet?"

"No, not yet," Tina replied sullenly. Although Sue genuinely liked Norma, she had to admit that she could be intolerably bossy. Given some of her other friends' personality quirks, a little bossiness didn't seem too terrible.

"I'd really appreciate it if you could finish them. Ms. Geer wants them on her desk before she leaves at 6."

"Oooh Kay," Tina groaned. She gently patted Sue on the shoulder as she passed by. "Duty calls. See ya, Suze."

That same, odd detached feeling crept up from Sue's stomach as she watched the brunette go. It felt as if she had just bumped into a complete stranger. All familiarity between the two seemed to be gone. It was unusual for Tina to say goodbye without a hug, but Sue suspected that there would probably be few of those in the future. Her chest tightened and her eyes burned as she fought back tears. This split of theirs might be for the best, but it didn't make it any more pleasant. It's never easy to give up on friends – even those you had major doubts with.

I'm not going to cry. Not here! Sue silently commanded herself as she gnawed on her lower lip. Not over this! Not again! I will not give-

"Y'know, uh, if you don't have anything better to do that night, I'm having some people over afterwards." Norma nervously tapped her acrylic nails against the clipboard she held to her chest. "It probably won't be as exciting as their after party, but I just wanted to let you know you're welcome to come. It'd be nice to spend some time with you, before we all go off to college."

In spite of the hitch in her throat, Sue couldn't help but smile at the invitation. Norma was her friend after all, and it wasn't too out of the ordinary for friends to extend invitations to each other. In the past, Norma would frequently ask her to come over or go out somewhere, and for a while, Sue would happily accept. As time marched on, and the Chris and the other girls took on larger roles in her life, she'd find excuses not to hang out with Norma.

She's still my friend. She's still there for me, after everything, Sue mused as a mixture of relief, happiness and guilt swirled around inside of her. I never thought of her as a BFF, but she's always been there. I've just been too blind and stuck up to see it.

"Sure, "Sue said with genuine gratitude. "I'd love to."

After a few more moments of chatting, Sue said goodbye and headed out into the warm, comforting sun. Tommy was still at practice so she decided to get something to drink and swing by the CVS drugstore on Main. Her stomach was still acting up, and she figured it wouldn't hurt to have some Pepto Bismal on hand. Besides, she didn't really feel like heading home. There were far too many things swimming around in her head that needed to be worked out, and the last thing she really wanted to face was another round of questions from her folks.

They mean well and they've been supportive, but I can't help thinking that they're convinced I've gone nuts or something. I can't fault them for that, though, after nagging them about prom nonstop for the past couple of years. Mom said she was proud of me, but that look in her eyes….

Yep. They definitely think I've lost it. I'm surprised she and dad didn't decide to have me committed when I told them what I was planning.

Downtown Chamberlain was abuzz with activity. Countless teens and tweens, most with backpacks slung over their shoulders, strolled along the sidewalk and darted in and out of the shops lining the street. The inherent cheerfulness of the scene brightened Sue's mood to the point where she was almost able to forget her troubles – almost. She was just about to round the corner from Main Street to Memorial when a familiar voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Give me the bag, you freak!" Chris. Sue's heart sank as she imagined what was going on.

"I'm not afraid of you!" It sounded like Carrie, but Sue knew it couldn't be her. There was no way on earth she'd be brave enough to actually shout at Chris. "There's nothing more you can do to me! I am NOT afraid of you!"

Sue's heart pounded in her chest as she crept closer. Her stomach, which was upset to begin with, was doing queasy summersaults as she edged towards the corner of the building separating her from the confrontation.

"Let's get one thing straight: I don't give a fuck whether you're afraid of me or not." Chris had lowered her voice until it was barely audible from where Sue hid.

"You aren't actually going to go through with it, are you?" A voice that might have belonged to either Nikki or Lizzi Wilson interjected. Without seeing who was speaking, it was impossible for Sue to know which one it was. "Think about how you'll look."

"Think about how Tommy will look!" The other Wilson said. "Do you really want to humiliate him? You will just by being seen in public together."

Carrie said something that Sue couldn't make out. Whatever it was was greeted by a volley of cruel, derisive laughter.

"Oh, don't worry!" Chris said blithely. "We'll have all summer to play together. Although, I doubt you'll feel much like showing your face in public at that point."

There was another round of jeers followed by the sound of rapidly departing footsteps. Sue leaned back against the cool, shaded brickwork and closed her eyes. This wasn't good. It was one thing to know that Chris had it in for her, but it was another thing entirely to see someone else paying the price for her decision –especially someone as fragile as Carrie.

Carrie didn't ask for this, did she? It was stupid of me to assume that they wouldn't keep on tormenting her. Chris was bound to find out about it sooner or later, and it was foolish to think that they wouldn't make the connection. I should have known that they'd-

"Hey, Suze!" With her eyes shut and her mind elsewhere, Sue didn't hear Chris approach. Involuntarily, she pressed herself up against the wall she had been leaning on.

"I would ask you if you were out shopping for the prom, but we both know the answer to that!" Chris's voice was soft and acidic. Vicky Hanscome and both of the Wilson's stood nearby, their arms were folded across their chests and scowls were etched on their faces. Helen Shyres and Heather McKenna hung back a bit. Sue couldn't be certain, but it looked as if they were far from comfortable with where the situation was heading. "Wow. This feels familiar, doesn't it? Weren't we just having this conversation?"

"Chris…"

"Y'know, as a prom gift, you could treat Carrie to a mani-pedi," Chris continued. "Personal hygiene isn't exactly her strong suit, and you wouldn't want Tommy to risk catching some sort of fungus from her. Speaking of which, is he comfortable with you whoring him out like this?"

Heather and Helen visibly cringed. Vicky opened and closed her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't make up her mind to do so. Instead she took a step backwards.

"Of course, I'm guessing that you think you've got Tommy whipped enough that he won't step outta line, right?" Someone unfamiliar with Chris might have been confused enough to think that she sounded sympathetic at that point. Sue, however, knew better. "It's a pity that you didn't see the way he was flirting with Emily before baseball practice this afternoon. He was all over her, kinda like how the two of you are before gym."

Sue desperately wanted to say something back; something that would hurt Chris and shut her up. Her mind, however, failed to cooperate. Every negative thought that she had harbored about Chris – and several she wasn't even fully aware of – crystallized in her mind at that moment. The words that they had exchanged during their last encounter were seemed juvenile in comparison to this. She knew that there would be no reconciliation this time. That bridge had been reduced to ashes and soot. Sue's chest tightened and it felt as though her heart was thudding so hard that it would pulverize itself.

"I actually feel sorry for him. I know I wouldn't want to be forced into escorting someone against my will. I'm almost tempted to ask what did he do to deserve it, but I'm not really sure he had to do anything to provoke you. You seem to think it's cool to stab people in the back, dontcha?"

"Shut up, Chris!" It wasn't much of a comeback, but it was the best she could come up with at the moment.

"Struck a nerve, did I? Maybe Tommy isn't the one with roving eyes," Chris's icy blue eyes glittered with sadistic glee. "Oh, I get it! You're hooking up with someone behind his back! Is it George Dawson? I would have thought you'd have set your sights higher. Although, I'm betting that you're counting on Frieda having a meltdown when finds out. She'll be crushed."

"I would never do that, and you know it!"

"I never thought you'd betray me, either. Here we are, though." For the first time, Chris's voice conveyed something other than sardonic anger. Sue couldn't put her finger on it, but it almost sounded like she was genuinely sad. "I trusted you, Sue."

"Right, Chris. It's everyone else's fault except yours," Sue's mouth felt as if it was stuffed with sawdust and her legs felt like rubber. "It's Carrie's fault that you – that we – got detention. It's my fault that you're banned from prom. Yeah, you're the victim. Grow up."

"You were my best friend! I've always been there for you, Sue! I cared about you! I loved you, and this is how you-"

"You have no idea what friendship is. You've only ever cared about yourself. We're all just-just accessories to you; something to make you look more important than you really are. You don't care about any of us!" Sue gestured at the other girls standing nearby. "Not me. Not Tina. No one."

"Chris?" Vicky took another unsteady step backwards. Helen and Heather again exchanged worried glances. The twins silently closed ranks around Hargensen. If she had been in a more rational state of mind, Sue probably wouldn't have been too surprised by this. Nikki and Lizzi always seemed to be willing to go along with Chris regardless of what she had in mind.

"You're making a huge mistake, Sue." Chris's voice went up an octave or two, and her breathing quickened. "Stop and think about what you're doing."

"My biggest mistake was listening to you. I was wrong about you, Chris. I'm only sorry I didn't see you for what you really are sooner. "

"You backstabbing bitch!" Chris gasped. Her face was flushed and her fists clenched. "I can't believe... I… Judas!"

"You did this yourself, Chris."

"You're the one who-"

"I didn't do anything wrong," Sue said as she struggled keep her voice even and calm. "You screwed up, Chris. I was – we were – just stupid enough to go along with you. It was your fault and yours alone. Excuse me."

"You'll regret this, both of you," Chris hissed as she slipped past.

Both of us? Does she mean Tommy?

Sue half expected to be pushed or tripped. Nothing happened, though, and she started to pick up speed. She could feel the other girls' eyes boring into her as she fled. The only thing on her mind was to put as much space between herself and her former friends as possible. A dull ache started to throb at the base of her Sternum and her eyes swam with tears. Underneath it all, she felt something she didn't expect; relief. She had spent so long trying to fit in that she almost lost sight of what she really cared about.

Free. I'm actually free, Sue thought as she crossed Main Street and threaded her way around a throng of middle schoolers. I'm scared, but I know I at least said what I had to say. I'll deal with the fall out later. My real friends will be there for me. Tommy will be there. Those are the people I should have focused on.

"You and the freak deserve each other!" Chris shouted after her from almost out of earshot. "Next time you see her, tell your girl I called you a Judas. She'll appreciate it."

Notes: Sorry for the delay. This is a follow up of sorts to "The World According to Chris" and takes place after Chris finds out about Carrie's prom invite but before she and Billy decide on what to do.

I kind of wanted to expand on Sue and Chris's relationship falling apart and give a little background for Hargensen's anger. Chris and Sue confronted each other in the book (and remake) but it seemed a little anticlimactic and I was curious about how Chris would react once she found out about Sue's decision to send Tommy with Carrie. There was supposed to be a scene in the remake where the Ultras confront Sue, and I was disappointed that it ended up getting cut.

Next up will be Freak? and Hope and Fear?

Hope and Fear will be formatted a little different. Instead of being one long chapter, it'll be short POV pieces about some of the main characters and will overlap with Loyal?.