Sorry for the long delay, again. My computer has been working against me but I fixed the problem. (I got a new one.) So on with the story and thanks for waiting!

Chapter 37

"All right buddy, just try to keep everything together for me." Jeff spoke quietly into the phone. "Don't worry, we'll be careful. I'll talk to you soon." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Jessica asked.

"When did you wake up?"

"A few minutes ago. Is everything okay?"

"Everyone's fine. Shannon was just checking in."

"Is Matt angry?"

"He'll get over it. Don't worry."

"Yea but Jeff…"

"No, I don't want to hear another word about it. It's just you and me out here. Let's talk about something else."

"Okay. Are we there yet?" Her voice came across like a little kid and he laughed.

"Soon."

"Good because I think I need to stretch my legs."

"Well there's a place coming up soon where we can stop off and get some ice cream."

"Okay." They drove for a few minutes longer till eventually Jessica saw a small building come up. Jeff pulled into the parking lot. She waited at a picnic bench while Jeff went and got the ice cream.

"Here you go." He handed her an ice cream cone.

"Thank you." She took a lick. "Mmm, this is good."

"You know, we still haven't decided on any paint colors for the rooms."

"I think we should do the bedroom in pink." She teased.

"We are not making my bedroom pink!"

"I thought it was our room." She laughed.

"It won't be if you make it pink. You can have it to yourself."

"Oh really? So you wouldn't go in it?"

"No way." He said firmly.

"Even if I was lying on that nice comfy bed we just brought, wearing this cute little nighty I got at Saks?"

"What color is it?"

"Would you believe pink?" Jessica asked and he leaned over to kiss her.

"You know what you can make it any color you want as long as we're in together."

"So I can go with a lavender trim?"

"Pink and purple, you're kidding me right?" She didn't answer just kissed him again. "I think our ice cream is melting."

"Let it." She said not letting him go. He kissed her a few more times before finally pulling himself away.

"Let's hit the road."

"Do we have to?"

"Come on. It's less than an hour away. We'll get there, pitch the tent then the rest of the day is ours."

"You see it's that whole tent thing that keeps throwing me off."

"You'll be fine." He took what was left of her ice cream and threw it out before taking her hand and leading her back to the car. They drove for about forty-five minutes before Jeff pulled off again to the side of the road.

"This is it?" She asked as they got out of the car.

"Yup, we're here." He opened up the trunk and handed her her backpack and a sleeping bag before grabbing his own and the tent. "Okay now follow me."

"Wait I got to walk too?"

"Well we don't camp in the middle of the road."

"Where's a mall when you need one?" She muttered. "Okay, lead the way." Jessica started to follow him down the trail. They walked for awhile till eventually they came to a break in the trees and she saw water ahead. She was amazed when they stepped out onto the clearing. "Wow."

"Nice huh?" Jeff said as she looked around at their surroundings. From the lush green trees to the clear blue lake that she couldn't take her eyes off, everything gave her a calming feeling. "Pop used to take us here when we were kids. When I got older, I just used to come here alone to think."

"I never knew."

"Well, once I got into wrestling and I was on the road so much I didn't have the time so I stopped going."

"That's a shame. I can see why you like it." She said softly.

"Yea well, I'm glad I'm back and I'm glad you're here with me to do it." He put down his backpack and helped her do the same. "If you want you can spread out that sleeping bag and have a seat or you can take a look around. I'm just gonna set up the tent."

"Can I help?"

"Are you sure you want to? I mean I can do it myself."

"I thought I was getting the whole camping experience and I do believe that includes setting up a tent."

"Then come on over and hand me that pole." He told her. Knowing Jessica was never the handiest person, he took his time explaining everything to her and even though he could have had it done in half the time, they were enjoying themselves so much it didn't matter. Eventually, they were done and Jeff laid down the sleeping bag.

"So this is where we sleep." She said admiring their handy work.

"If you want or if the weather cooperates we can sleep outside, under the stars. We'll see but before we do anything let's see if we can find us some wood to start a fire." She followed him deeper into the woods. Jessica was amazed by all the sounds. There were noises everywhere but it wasn't the chaotic sounds she was used to. There were birds chirping, leaves rustling and echos of what she hoped were small animals.

"There aren't bears here are there?"

"No." He smiled at her. "They're not known for being in these parts. Don't worry."

"If you say so," she said and continued to follow him around. They made their way back to the campsite and dropped the wood they had gathered. "Okay, so this is the part where you show me how to rub two sticks together until we get a fire?"

"Possibly, if by two sticks you mean two matches." Jeff laughed showing them to her.

"Hey that's cheating!"

"What can I say? I'm not that one with nature." He struck the match and got the fire going. She came over and sat down next to him as they stared out at the lake.

"You know I hate to admit this, but I kind of like this." She admitted.

"I knew you would."

"It's so peaceful. It's like you can just get away from everything here. There's no fighting, no arguing or no stalker waiting to attack. It's just us. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For taking me here, for always seeming to know what I need. I couldn't figure out how I was ever going to go a day without being bombarded by everything going on and then you step in and here we are. But mostly, for being you. Three years ago I thought my life was over. Two years ago I was struggling to just go outside and here I am, really outside and living again. Losing you was the worst thing that's ever happened to me but maybe we needed it to get where we are now. All the distractions, Meg, Shane…" She paused shuddering.

"Go ahead."

"I can't. I'm trying to be all meaningful and tell you that it's going to be okay. That I'm going to be okay. I keep saying that I don't want to focus on what's happened but I seem to be the one who always brings it up. It hurts to even say his name yet I can't get him out of my head. You would think that out here, with all these beautiful surroundings and you by my side, I would be able to forget."

"You're not supposed to." Jeff told her. "Honey this trip wasn't about escaping. It's not about taking everything that just happened and washing it all away. It's about having some time and a place where you can deal with what's happened without more piling on you. Trying to forget everything isn't going to help you. You've tried that method and so far it hasn't worked out to well for you has it?"

"No." She admitted.

"What Shane did, what's going on now, you have to learn to accept it."

"How do you accept someone raping you? How do you accept someone trying to kill you?"

"Maybe I'm not using the right word. I'm not expecting you to say okay it happened and just move on. That's not what I mean. I just want you to heal baby. I want to see that spark in your eyes, and that smile on your face. Not just for fleeting moments but for real. I can't tell you how because I just don't know but I'm willing to try anything except letting you block it out like it never happened. There will always be someone reminding you of Shane and until this new case is resolved there will be situations that you're going to have to face. We just have to figure out how to make it hurt less."

Jessica let a tear roll down her face. This was not what she thought it would be. Never in her wildest imagination did she think that Jeff was bringing her to face everything that she went through. What she had thought was going to be a vacation, Jeff had planned to be almost a therapy section.

"We can talk about anything you want to talk about. If you want to talk about the kidnapping, the rape, the accident anything, you go ahead. Just tell me how you're feeling, not what you think I want to hear but how you're really feeling."

"I'm scared."

"Okay, why?"

"I don't think it's ever going to stop. I know everyone keeps telling me it will but so far I haven't seen any signs. I mean I don't wake up screaming anymore but that doesn't mean I don't still have nightmares about it about him."

"You do?" He looked at her surprised.

"Last night when we went to bed, even though I was in your arms he still popped into my head and that scares me. It's like there's no escape and now with the new threats, I just don't know how it's going to get any better. How am I supposed to lead a new life if he keeps getting back in there?"

"But Shane's…"

"In a mental institution." She finished for him. "Yes, I know but you know him as well as I do and he is fully capable of being behind this."

"So you don't think it's someone else?"

"No but I wish it was. I've already experienced Shane doing what I thought was his worst. It's the thought that he could do more that scares me. He's already taken me, raped me, he's even shot me. So far the only thing he hasn't done is kill me, or kill someone I love. What else could he have planned for me?"

"You know Miller was right. We don't know for sure that its him. It would be hard for even Shane to pull it off."

"So you think it's somebody else too?" She asked.

"Yea." Jeff lied. There was a nagging voice inside of his head yelling at him that he was wrong but he had to think about what was best for Jessica. She had already said that it would be easier for her if it was someone else so maybe it was best that he went along with it for now. "Shane really is locked up."

"So it's just me and my head not willing to let it go." Jessica said disappointed with herself.

"Babe, I'm not going to tell you what to think. You have to figure that out for yourself.

"I know." She sighed. "Somehow."

Jessica stood up and walked towards the edge of the lake. There were so many thoughts racing through her mind that she didn't know where to start. Everyone seemed to be expecting a lot from her, even Jeff. Dealing with everything was something she had never expected to do. It would have been much easier for her to just suppress it like she has always done. But what good did that do, she reminded herself. She had locked away her entire childhood but had that made her any happier? There was just too much to deal with and the thought of even attempting it overwhelmed her. She looked back and saw Jeff watching her.

"Walk with me?" She asked stretching out her hand. He didn't say anything just walked over to her and draped his arm around her pulling her closer to him as they slowly moved around the lake.

"It's a lot isn't it?" He asked her. Even with everything going on, she knew at least Jeff understood her. "I'm here for you babe."

And maybe that was all she needed, realizing what was going to make it different this time. All along everyone kept telling her she wasn't alone. Last night, he had confirmed that she had a family. This morning they had all proved it but being here with Jeff, with him practically being able to read her mind, affirmed that no matter what she wasn't alone. She didn't have to go through this herself, and the more she dealt with everything, the more he would be there with her. If Jeff believed in her and Matt, Amy, and everyone else believed in her, then maybe with their support she could finally start believing in herself