Thank you for the follow GabrielaTJ!

Another early post, because Darth Real Life is still clobbering me. Expect more posts one day early/late in the coming ten days.

Chapter 37: Power

Thrawn brought her breakfast in bed the next morning. They ate in silence and, when she was done, he pushed the hovertray aside, pulled up the sheet to cover her bare chest as she sat back against the headboard, handed her a fresh mug of caf and settled at her side. "If you have no objection, I will tell you now about one of the most distasteful aspects of my work," he said. "I understand that this is not pleasant early morning conversation, but it is a conversation we must have, and I would like to have it sooner rather than later."

Ayesha listened carefully as he explained the delicate balance of power, the intrigue and the rivalries that ruled everyday life in the Imperial Court. "Your master Nazmat Koch called the Court a swarm of mynocks the first time I met her here, and she was right. It is an apt description in more ways than one. Imperial... courtiers, for lack of a better word – this includes political advisors, senior Navy officers and wealthy businessmen and socialites such as Xizor – Imperial courtiers are always vying for more power, leeching it from one another and most importantly from His Majesty the Emperor. The only man in the entire Court who seems immune to this, and there again only up to a point, is Lord Vader. In his case, this would have to do with his mastery of the Force, the terror he instils in people and his special relationship to his master. With this single exception, everyone is constantly competing for more favour, more attention and ultimately more power."

"Are you like that?" she asked.

He gave a mirthless chuckle. "I wish I could say that I am not. Unfortunately, that would be a lie. However, I like to think that I am not as repugnant as Zaarin or Tigellinus." He paused for a moment. "You understand that this conversation must remain between us. Should a single word make its way back to the Palace, years of painstaking work will be undone."

"I'm not stupid, Thrawn," she said impatiently. "I never took much interest in Court life, even after I met you, because I assumed your work to be a straightforward Navy job, but I know when to keep my mouth shut. Don't treat me like a child."

Thrawn smiled and caressed her face. "You are right, of course. I always forget that this innocence you have is not to be confused with naivety, but I should know better. Another item we can add to your long list of contradictions." His eyes twinkled at her furious glare and he sat back to continue. "The upper echelons of the Navy are far from being exempt from the petty bickering of Court politics. The Grand Admirals are among the most power-hungry individuals in the Empire, and they did not necessarily attain that rank on sheer military talent. Tigellinus for instance has only a mediocre understanding of tactics and strategy, but he is a master politician and it was, and is, therefore in His Majesty's best interest to promote him to the Council of Twelve." Ayesha gave him a quizzical look. "His Majesty's mastery of political games has no rival, Ayoo'sha. He created the Council of Twelve in order to better control the Navy, but also to better control the men he appointed as Grand Admirals. He lets them fight among themselves over the crumbs of his power and, megalomaniac as they are, they believe that they have become nearly as powerful as him, without seeing that he can undo them as easily as he made them. It is a very clever way to channel their self-aggrandizing energy into fulfilling his will. Had he not found such a way to manipulate them, they would constantly be demanding for more."

Ayesha looked at him carefully for a moment. "That's why they don't know about your work in the Unknown Regions. The Emperor wants it a secret so that they can't make a grab for the territory you opened up."

Thrawn's lips twitched. "You may want to try your hand at Court politics, Ayoo'sha'nek. You are catching up fast and you would be quite formidable." The comment earned him another furious glare. "Yes, you are absolutely correct. A Grand Admiral with the military acumen of Zaarin would be a considerable threat if he were in control of the resources of the Empire of the Hand. A triumvirate such as the one harassing you last night, with Zaarin's military mind, Tigellinus's political connections and Pradeux's communication skills, would be virtually unstoppable, and this would not be in your or mine or anyone's best interests. They would seek to dominate the entire Galaxy instead of preparing against the threats that will come and face us from the Unknown Regions, and the consequences in the long run would be disastrous for all."

"It's the second time I hear you mention these threats," Ayesha said. "Are they really so terrifying for you to take them so seriously?"

"They are more terrifying than you can imagine, Ayoo'sha, and I truly hope that you will never have to find out exactly how terrifying they are. However, this is an entire new conversation, and unless you insist, I would rather focus on the matter at hand." She nodded. "Returning to this infamous triumvirate and the Council of Twelve, you need to understand that I do not hold much favour with them. Zaarin in particular is envious of my tactical and strategic skills, he hates me for being an alien, and the fact that you have chosen me over him despite the fact that he outranks me and that he is human has added to his insane jealousy. As for Tigellinus, he is also a human supremacist of the worst sort. He may have been all compliments yesterday, but you and I both saw right through it, and, because he was recently inducted in the Order of the Canted Circle, he probably perceives my upcoming induction as a great affront. Do not be fooled by the fact that he has a better control over his libido than Zaarin. Given a chance, he would force you to his bed in a heartbeat, if nothing else to take what he believes is his by right of rank and race."

There was a silence. "So that's what has you worried," Ayesha said. "You're concerned that they're going to hurt me to get to you."

"I am concerned that they will hurt you, period," Thrawn corrected. "And if the sculptures you created for the final exhibition of your fellowship are anything to go by, they have already tried. I fear however that you may have given them yet another incentive to cause you harm by... by rubbing in their collective face the fact that you are giving me what you have constantly denied them."

"Well, I wish them luck if they think a woman would ever choose them for their good looks and charm," she muttered. "They're really as disgusting as Utapau rock-vultures. All they miss is the ugly leathery head." Thrawn went to speak but she raised her hand. "I'll deal with that poodoo if and when it happens again, and I promise I won't go looking for it or incite more. What I'd like to know is why Lord Vader took such pleasure in provoking them. I swear I heard him laugh at the look on their faces."

Thrawn smiled. "As I remember telling you once, Lord Vader has a soft spot for you, Ayoo'sha, if any such thing can ever be said of that man. I had a private meeting with him in his palace yesterday in the morning, and I was more than a little surprised to see your Japor woodcarving inside his meditation chamber. I believe he wanted the triumvirate to know that you are under his protection."

She studied his face for a moment. "Your legendary crispness is failing you, Admiral," she finally said. "There's something more to this." Thrawn shrugged casually but she felt him tense up a little. "You should tell me. If we're going to be having arguments about this stuff, I should know what's going on. It wasn't a pleasant conversation we had last night, you know."

"No," he sighed. "It was not." She was still looking at him inquisitively. "Very well, if you must know, I also participate in these political games. I need power and the support of those in power in order to achieve my goals. In this context, I have chosen to ally myself with Lord Vader."

"Really?" she asked with genuine surprise. "I thought you didn't like him. You told me that he's... unbalanced, I think it was the word you used."

"He is unbalanced," Thrawn said, "although given his personal history that should not be unexpected. But he is also intelligent and brave, and he is a powerful ally. Zaarin and Tigellinus have been trying to push him aside, even though the idea is simply laughable, and he enjoys, shall we say, teasing them. I, on the other hand, always understood that he has a unique place at His Majesty's side, and I know how to make my relationship with him work in my own interest." He hesitated, then added, "I also happen to know something about him that no one else does, which gives me a distinct advantage."

He remained silent for a few seconds. "What is it?" Ayesha asked. "This isn't just some state secret. You almost seem embarrassed."

"It is a state secret, but I am also a little embarrassed, or at least somewhat uneasy. I do not want you to... to misinterpret what I will say." He took a deep breath. "Since the Battle of Yavin, Lord Vader has been obsessed with the Rebel pilot who destroyed the Death Star. I recently found out that the young man's name is Luke Skywalker."

She clapped both hands over her mouth. "The baby lived?" she spluttered. "Padmé's baby lived? He thought he killed her. He thought he killed them both."

"So it seems, Ayoo'sha. Or at least so Lord Vader believes. He says that he can sense the boy's presence in the Force, and that he can thus identify him as his son."

The bed sheet fell off her as she pulled her knees to her chest. "This is so sad," she whispered. "This is so awfully sad. That poor man..." She abruptly turned her gaze to Thrawn. "You're using it against him," she said angrily. "I told you the memories he shared with me, and now you're using that to... to manipulate him."

"I do not manipulate Lord Vader," Thrawn said coolly. "Nobody does. However, having this information does give me, shall we say, a bargaining chip in my alliance with him. I can help him find his son." His tone softened. "I did not betray your trust, Ayoo'sha. I am not throwing his past in his face. As a matter of fact, I have never told him that you shared his story with me, although it is quite obvious that he is aware of it nevertheless. But I need something to bargain with in order to ally myself with him. I am of no use to him when he believes I am merely leading a mapping expedition in the Unknown Regions."

"I still don't like it. He's in terrible pain and you should at least respect that. Why do you need this alliance so badly that you would... I'm not sure what to call it, that you would meddle in his private affairs."

"Ayoo'sha, let me first clarify that Lord Vader's private affairs are not private when the future of the Empire is at stake," Thrawn said coldly. "In any case however, I also need power and allies in Court. If I do not remind His Majesty of my presence and role, he might give in to his own speciesism and be rid of me to hand over my project in the Unknown Regions to someone who would make a mess of it."

She stared at him. "You're really arrogant, you know. You seem totally convinced that no one can run that project but you."

"No one can. I am not saying this to brag, but I assure you that no one can match my skill with tactics and strategy. Furthermore, I have been working in the Unknown Regions for decades, both with the CEDF and with the Imperial Navy. Such knowledge cannot be replaced at the drop of a hat."

There was a long silence. "Why do you want to be inducted in the Order of the Canted Circle?" she asked suddenly.

He shrugged. "It is a society that influences developments from the sidelines. They help maintain order in the Galaxy and they can provide me with some of the means I need to achieve my goals. I want to join them for the same reasons I chose to join Lord Vader. They are a source of power."

She sighed and hugged her knees tighter. "You really like power, don't you?"

"That is neither here nor there, Ayoo'sha. What matters is not so much if I like power, but if I need it and how much of it I need. Knowing what I am up against, both here in Court and out in the Unknown Regions, I need quite some power not only to survive but also to move forward. However, I am not a megalomaniac like Zaarin. I do not seek power for power's sake."

There was another silence. "But you're ambitious," she said.

"I am," he replied evenly. "I am ambitious, arrogant and proud. Rumour has it that I can also be rather crisp," he added with a twitch of his lips before becoming serious again. "I plan carefully my every move and I seek to out-think and outwit my opponents, and when they cannot be salvaged I seek to destroy them. I can be quite ruthless when I find it necessary. But, to come back to the reason I wanted to have this conversation with you, you should know that I am nothing of all this when it comes to you, and truth be told I do not know how to handle that very well."

She gave him a puzzled look. He smiled. "Ayoo'sha, there is a part of me that I have been trying to silence all my life. I focused exclusively on my work and my career, and I eschewed bonds of love and friendship as weaknesses that would stand in my path. I stifled that part of me as a Chiss, I strangled it as an Imperial and I had persuaded myself that it was dead. That you brought it back to life is one of your greatest gifts to me. You are making me a better man, even though I still have a long way to go, and for that I am grateful." He reached to caress her cheek. "I convinced myself, misguidedly I may add, that I could shelter you forever from the ugliness of Court politics. There is this purity about you, this clarity of the morning sunlight, that I do not wish to see tainted by these machinations. And," he added a little hesitantly, "I was afraid that you would think less of me if you perceived me as another participant in this game of intrigue, and seeing your reaction today, it appears that my fear was justified. I should have known that you would see right through my half-truths, and when push came to shove, I handled it very poorly and I made a fool of myself. I apologized already for my unacceptable behaviour last night. I also apologize for what essentially amounts to a small deception about who I am and what I do. I know how much you value openness and honesty, and I truly wish that I had the luxury to be as selfless as you are. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Now I can only hope that you will forgive me."

Ayesha was still hugging her knees as he sat back against the headboard. She suddenly moved to face him and straddled his outstretched legs. Her hand went to the Japor snippet engraved with a flame that was hanging around his neck. "You're not going to become like them, are you?" she asked uncertainly. "You're not going to become one of those powerful men who get drunk on their own power and who will do whatever it takes to obtain more."

Thrawn smiled. "I may well have become one of those men, Ayoo'sha, but then you came along. The risk that I go down that path is null as long as I have you by my side. Even if I wanted to, I know that you would not let me."

She continued scrutinizing his face, so lost in thought that she didn't notice that his fingers were crawling up her waist. "Stop that," she snapped. "We're talking seriously here. Don't you ever think of anything else?"

His smile widened. "I often think of a great many other things, Ayoo'sha'nek. But it is difficult to think of anything else when you are sitting naked on my lap."

She looked down at her body, as if remembering that she was wearing no nightclothes. "Okay," she said with a grin. "You may have a point after all."