Hello all! And now to continue with Threshold! This will be in Iggy's POV.
Not too much to say here for... deadly and obvious reasons... but please enjoy! I own nothing.
Threshold
Chapter 35: Big Brother
It's been a nightmare. Nothing but a nightmare for me since everything started. Lemmy's still trying to return to things before, to us abusing him, to him being invisible, to us acting like our own flesh and blood doesn't matter anymore!
I knew he was used to it but... was this what I had wanted? No, that... that makes no sense... nothing's making sense to me anymore.
Me and him, we have talked since then. A lot. But even though things are coming to the surface, others... aren't. I know it isn't. It can't be, not with Lemmy still feeling like he has to die to make us happy and the rest of us so scattered and lost... we can barely trust each other or ourselves.
I learned about my scar on my head and what caused it. It must've been eating him up inside but he couldn't talk to me before...I had to wonder, if he had, would I have listened? Would I have cared?
I wanted him dead for so long for some reason, but I was scared to let him go... I don't understand why I wanted him to die... why him? He never did anything wrong but protect me as much as he could! And I hurt him... I broke him and he's scared.
He's afraid of me...
Ludwig tried to get through to him and so did Roy and our father. Our father... the main bastard who caused Lemmy so much pain, and who almost took my life... who almost took away all our lives, in a sense. Even with all of us finally showing him affection, is it too late?
We owe him his life... we took all 17 years of his life away and half the time he never did anything wrong!
Could he truly get back what we stole so creully from him? And if so, what will it cost him? Cost us?
Earlier today, I felt sick when Lemmy went to speak to Junior. Like something was being taken away and I couldn't do anything about it. But why would that matter? He was going to see Junior... my littliest sibling...
Walking back to my room, my head had been pounding. By the time I reached my room, it felt like I was going to throw up almost a month's worth of food and my legs were wobbling beyond belief.
After that, its... its something I truly cannot explain.
I heard a voice. It was something like the one in my nightmare but this time, I could actually feel something grabbing ahold of me. It sounded like... like me, but off.
I couldn't strike it, and my scepter was missing somewhere in my room. I felt something slowly stabbing in my side and I screamed. Then I was being thrown about my room like a rag doll, and I know I threw up something.
I struggle to stand, and each time, that stinging pain follows suit, and I'm being flung about the room once again. I don't know how long that goes on for but I know I can't take much more...
Trying to figure out exactly WHAT I was dealing with, I managed to steal a glance of... me?!
That thing... it looked exactly like me, but almost 20 times my size and... black. Not black red or blue black. It was like I had stared into my own pure darkness.
"Who... who are you..." I couldn't believe that thing was me... but why me?! What does that thing have to do with me?!
It smiles at me, its teeth coated in something red... I assumed it was blood but from what? I didn't want to know. But I can tell something else.
It knows my true desire to kill my brother. Whatever it is... it wants me to hurt them all... I want to hurt them all...
I don't understand myself at all anymore. This feeling inside me, it's not what I want to feel... I hate it.
But that's what scares me right now! The sheer thought that out of all my siblings, Lemmy and Junior, even Ludwig in particular, I want to kill them all! I feel something inside me wanting to hurt them but I can't understand why when none of them did anything to me!
Its... that thing... it wants me to kill... NO! I'm not going to let... whatever the hell it is beat me!
Suddenly, it got bright... so warm and bright and then it just... vanished. The black creature thing was gone but I was in a lot of trouble.
I don't remember much after that part, if anything else had happened. I was bleeding in my room and I couldn't find the strength to move. I'm scared for their sake and for my own.
I wish Lemmy was here but at the same time, I'm glad he isn't. I don't want to hurt him, not after I destroyed him for almost 11 years. Did I blame him for my accident? No... I never will.
He was scared then, too. He never left my side, even when Dad banned him to come near me. He stayed with me, tried to help me smile, wanting me to get better so he could apologize...
Lemmy's always been there to talk to me, to listen, to protect me and to make me laugh... he was my brother and he kept his own unhappiness hidden just to see me smile... why... I don't... understand that.
Then there's Junior. Me and him never really talked a lot, but that kid... as much as he drives me crazy touching all my things and inventions, I... I can't see life without him. He doesn't want to cause trouble. He just wanted to feel loved. I wonder if I ever showed him that... I barely showed Lemmy any love as my brother...
Ludwig's my oldest brother, and the smartest in the family, although I'd never admit it to him. He always... had a strange... I guess attitude when it came to us, but he would take any blow coming our way if it meant we'd be safe.
Roy is so complicated to figure out. Its like... literally trying to find a hay in the needlestack. Its deadly trying to pry open Roy's shields and walls. He hates being seen as weak. He's always so tough and standoffish, but... he shows his ways of caring too... he wants to protect us in his own way.
I think I'm beginning to see that now. I mean, I... thought so.
Is that what being a big brother means, Lemmy... sacrificing your own life for the sake of the others... keep your pain secret and make sure they can't tell what's wrong...
Even when he was on the brink of death more times than I can count, even when I turned my back on him, Lemmy still wanted to keep me safe over his own well being...
I couldn't figure out why that whole thought came to my mind. But it made me open my eyes and realize something I failed to notice before.
I guess I'm a big brother too... Wendy and Morton and Larry... they're siblings I have to keep safe... but its not from the Mario brothers or other royals or anything like that.
I have to keep my family safe from ME. That thing was ME. I want to make them suffer but I don't know why and without Mom, I just... I truly am a lost koopa...
Its getting kinda... cold. I curl into a ball and wait, the pain starting to numb a tiny bit. I don't know what specifically I'm feeling right this second, but for once it's not fear or confusion or hatred. Its like... contentment.
I know I'd rather die than ever hurt Lemmy or anyone else. My family... they've done nothing but love me and care for me, no matter how emotionless and cruel I act. Even my father... he hurt me, but he was scared too... he had always cared about me.
I love them all... and I finally get that. It was such a simple answer... but why it took so long to find out, I'll never know.
What I do know is that I've caused Lemmy more pain and suffering than I stopped to realize, and I guess I got what was coming to me.
I hear something somewhat faint in the background. I don't know what, but I'm too tired to really pay attention.
"L-Lemmy... Lemmy..." I wish he was here to make the pain stop... I wish I'd never done what I had, I wish... I wish this could just go away...
But nothing ever works like that, right Lemmy? Nothing can simply go away, no matter how badly you want it to.
"IGGY!" Its him, isn't it. I think its Lemmy...
I finally allow that contentment to fill me and it feels nice... I like this feeling.
Lemmy... thank you. I don't know why I'm thinking this, but I know its because of you I finally understand a little.
So thank you... and I'm sorry... for everything I've done.
And complete! Other than being another hard-ish chapter to write, I think it came out okay... but that's up to you all to decide.
Please leave your reviews, ideas, advice, all the good stuff, and see you all!
Until next chapter!