A/N: Filler chap.
thanks ladyroo88 for beta help and andtototoo for looking it over for me.
Disclaimer: i don't own degrassi.

Chapter 35

It had taken her a week to get the hang of things after arriving at Western U. Having had previous experience to guide her, she had gone to seek help from the therapist that her family doctor had recommended. She had promised her mom that she would not neglect her health this time. It was the least she could do to lessen some of their worries considering how supporting her parents had been.

Paige believed herself to be an average student and though she had accepted that she wasn't cut out for Banting, she still considered herself to be a hard worker. She had explained everything that had happened to her at Banting and everything that had happened thereafter to her therapist Shelly, who after listening to her story, had concluded that Paige suffered from Panic Disorder.

Paige hated these episodes because how unexpected they were and how helpless they used to make her feel. "You are not alone in this Paige…" Shelly had explained, "…an approximate five percent of population suffers from this condition and even a greater one that suffers from anxiety disorders."

After their first long appointment, Paige was able to understand her condition that had started at Banting. Shelly had elucidated that her attacks could have been partially responsible for her poor academic performance at Banting and might have affected other aspects of her life. Shelly had further suggested to Paige that her constant need to be in control of situations and the resultant anxiety might be due to her 'Obsessive compulsive personality' and she wanted Paige to come for regular sessions so they could work on techniques of relaxation and behavioral therapy.

"Hey Marco." Paige had said in a cheery voice as soon as Marco answered his phone.

"Hey Paige, how is it going?" Marco asked from the other end.

"Great. We just got our first test result back in Stats, guess who got an 'A'?"

"I don't know, Heather Sinclair?"
Marco giggled.

'That's what I'd said to Alex but she deserved it for the way she'd acted on thanksgiving dinner… she would've been so proud right now...'
Paige's mind had drifted away.

It had been exactly a month since she had moved to London and still they hadn't received any news of Alex.

"Hello? Paige? You still there?"
Marco inquired.

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"Did you tell your 'rents yet? They'd be so proud."

"No I haven't had time; I'll call them later tonight."

"Okay, so what else?"

"Well I had my second therapy appointment yesterday."

"Good Paige, how'd it go?"

"...you know, just trying to figure out things and stuff. BTW, any news about Alex?"

"I wouldn't call it news but I went to see her mom again and …"

"What Marco? What did Emily say?" Paige asked eagerly.

"Well she didn't really say anything but I just felt something…"

"Marco, please, tell me before I get a heart attack…"

"Alex's mom seemed… content."
Marco said as he thought of the correct word.

"Content?"

"Yeah, like she knew Alex was safe."

"But she didn't say where Alex was?"

"I don't think she's gonna tell us Paige. Look on the bright side though, at least we know she's okay wherever she is, and maybe one day she'll come back to us."

"You think so?" Paige asked gloomily.

"Yes. I'm sure. Now stop worrying. You should go out and celebrate your grade, seriously, go party or something…"
Marco tried to cheer Paige up.

"Okay, let me know if you find out anything ok?"

"I will, bye Paige."

Marco hung up the phone. His friend finally had things looking up for her. She had gotten another chance to be everything she had dreamt of becoming. He felt proud of her but was concerned for her at the same time. She was already seeing a therapist and he believed that the last thing Paige needed were additional worries in her life. Marco knew that Paige's parents were worried about her for the same reasons that troubled him. Paige's search for Alex was becoming an obsession of hers and he believed that she could compromise everything for Alex; exactly the way she had just recently walked out of her dream life.

'If there was anything he could do to protect Paige, he was gonna do it.' He thought to himself.

Marco was sure that Alex was never coming back. Not after how they had treated her. However, if she were ever to come back, he promised himself that he would be the first one to apologize to her. The guilt of how he had called Alex lazy and how she had vanished afterwards was a regret he had to live with but seeing Paige suffer this way was something that was becoming unbearable to him. After struggling with his conscience for a while, he decided that from then onwards, he would avoid talking about Alex completely. The relief that he had experienced after talking to Alex's mom was very much similar to what he had heard in Paige's voice just now but unfortunately, it had to be the last news of Alex that he had delivered to Paige.

Paige quickly texted Marco on her way to the library as she walked out of the business math class. Her class schedule, though she was enjoying immensely, had completely taken over her life. Between the hectic routine of lectures, the numerous assignments, the quizzes, and her struggle to have a social life, Paige hadn't gotten time to call Marco at all this whole month. She knew that Marco was also getting used to her stalling behavior, as she had been equally neglectful the two months before this. She was surprised herself as she had never thought that making a simple phone call to Marco would become such a valuable commodity between them. However, she hadn't completely neglected her promise and had texted Marco whenever she had time.

Paige knew that it must have been easier this way for Marco too as he hadn't complained. Their little 'texting rendezvous' were working well for both of them. She would text "im ok luv u, P" and would get a similar, but better phrased response from Marco. During their last phone conversations, Marco had joked about how Paige's texting vocabulary was very similar to her brother's and annoyed him just as much.

In the past three months, every time when Paige had tried to ask Marco about Alex, she had received a dodging reply from Marco. Paige had sensed that it was either that Marco felt guilty that he hadn't succeeded in his search to find Alex or that he had completely lost hope of finding her. After her continued grueling of Marco for another two months and his persistent avoidance of any discussion about Alex, Paige finally decided to call it off. There wasn't much Marco could do or she knew he would have done it already. Truth was that Paige knew there wasn't much anyone could do except to hope that Alex would one day walk back into their lives.

After six months of therapy and countless justifications that Paige had given herself, she finally convinced herself that she was ready to move on and close the chapter of Alex.

Alex had swiftly walked out of the lecture hall. No one else had given it a second thought but Paige knew there was something wrong. It was unlike Alex to walk out like that. Alex always preferred to speak up her mind and last night was a not so pleasant reminder of just that.

Paige stood in the lecture hall and mulled for a while if she should go after Alex but then decided against it. Paige knew that she herself was the cause of Alex's disturbed behavior. Although Paige wasn't sure what had suddenly gotten Alex angry, the irate Alex she had just witnessed was completely different from the tranquil Alex she had met two month ago. The whole incidence had only confirmed that Marco was rightfully worried. Her mere presence was enough to ruffle up Alex's harmonious self.

'She could not be a hindrance in Alex's success again. She could never forgive herself for such a thing.' Paige declared to herself.

"Alex was doing well", Marco had told her, "She was happy without us around her Paige."

Paige only hoped that she hadn't already caused any irreparable damage. She regretted hiding everything from Marco now. She knew that she should've told him a lot sooner that she'd met Alex. She wasn't even sure then why she'd hidden it. The reason she had given herself was that she didn't want people to worry for her; mostly she didn't want to burden her parents, but she now knew that it was her selfishness why she'd hidden Alex from everyone. She had met Alex after such a long time and she wasn't yet ready to share Alex with anyone. She couldn't blame Marco for hiding the truth about Alex either because she understood now that he was only protecting Alex. He only wanted what was best for Alex; which was exactly what she had to do now. This was her last chance to rectify all the wrong she had done to Alex in the past.

'If steering away form Alex was all it took for her to fix things, if that meant that Alex could be happy, she was going to do it.'

TBC

Reference: Caldwell, P. (2005). Anxiety Disorders. Your personal health series. Key Porter Books.