AN: This one's short, but the quality should make up for it.

Some crooks are out in the night, stealing something and mugging one another. But their merriment is cut short by the appearance of a grim cloud, which promptly rains down madly. Their heads drenched, they curse and whine. One of them puts on a puzzled face.

"Is the rain…black?"

Another crook stops running his foul mouth to stare agape at the wetness on his fingers. "Here…this drop is yellow!"

A third, charming fellow scratches his head in bewilderment.

"Just what is…? Aw, shit! It's Batman!"

The rain is indeed Batman.

"Do you want to hold my hand?"

"Yes, please."

"Do you know what I see?"

"There is a man hurtling through space."

"Exactly. He is dead, frozen."

"But within him lurks a seed of life."

"As he hurtles through the cold emptiness for eons, there will eventually come a time for him to land."

"He will land on a planet, in a way."

"Upon entry he will be no more. His body is shattered on impact."

"It dissolves, you should say. It dissolves and all its little parts separate to start anew and fill the planet with life, all sorts of animals and trees, microscopic creatures and deadly infections."

"This man is the origin of all life."

"What a ridiculous story."

"No denying that. But aren't the stars beautiful in the sky?"

"You can't see the stars."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't see them."

"I guess that makes sense."

"It's all so ridiculous. I don't feel real."

"I wish everything would let go of me."

"So you could float freely through the world?"

"No, so I could finally be free of it all and never see my reflection again."

"You can run from anything in the world but yourself. Never yourself."

"I wonder what I would think of myself if I could watch my life again."

"From outside my skull for once."

"But then I wonder why the plants are so pretty."

"And why they are trampled so easily."

"Life is so fragile. But at the same time it is invincible. No matter how many are ended, crushed, torn; in the big picture, nothing changes. The chain continues, larger than anything we could ever dream of, more pointless than everything."

"But mostly I don't care."

"I'm so scared right now."

"Why?"

"I'm seeing the man again."

"And?"

"Ah! The man! It's Batman!"

"Of course."

"Batman is the source of all life!"

"Of course."

"What the hell do you mean? Of course?"

"Who do you think you are?"

"I'm…"

Batman opens his eyes to the vastness of space. And he tries to scream in the silent abyss. Then he freezes over and hurtles through the darkness.

"-MAN!"

Catwoman looks up at Batman quizzically. "What?"

"Dunno. Anyway, Robin's in this sensory deprivation tank. Just because."

She winces. "Damn, that's creepy."

Talia comes. He does not shrink but she spanks him anyway.

"Why would you let her do that to you?" And not me, her silence seems to add, being a particularly expressive silence.

There is a long pause before Batman speaks. "Because I deserve it."

SHE STROKES HIS FACE GENTLY. "Hey, Batman. Hey." She strokes his face gently. Stroke, stroke.

"The city seems so far away." He is atop a gargoyle now.

"Are you okay, Batman?"

"No." He is silent, pouting.

"You never let me spank you like that," Selina says suddenly.

"You're not my mother," he growls.

"What?"

"Nothing," he growls, a little lower this time. "Where are your sunglasses?"

"What?"

"That's it," he says, standing up and nearly toppling over due to a sudden gust of wind. "I'm going home to cry in Talia's lap." He hesitates a second, scowling. "I mean brood," he adds with a growl and then he is gone.

"I'm thinking of getting a god for hire," Batman says confidently.

The Mad Hatter sips his tea calmly while Maxie's cup titters. "What is that?"

Batman shrugs, smiling. "I don't really know, I've just heard good things."

The Hatter nods; stops nodding; raises an eyebrow. "From who?"

Batman smirks. "Reputable sources." He sips his tea.

Maxie Zeus raises a shaking cup to his lips. "So…which god would this be?"

"I've got a good feeling about…" Batman puts down his cup, spreads out his fingers. "Cernunnos!"

He promptly gets a helping of boiling tea in the face. Maxie Zeus runs sobbing away. Even before he has left their sight, a figure steps out of the garden maze. It is Cernunnos, the horned one.

"Whoo-eee," says Batman. "Would you look at that? Didn't take long, did it? Man, I love being rich."

The tall figure stops at the edge of the maze. It is a tall man with drooping shoulders, somehow cast in shadow despite the burning sun, his horns looping extravagantly into the air.

"Hey, Cernunnos," Batman starts. "Say something cool! Like, I dunno, "worship me, fools!" or something."

Way across town the Scarecrow twitches, for reasons unknown to him. Batman and the Mad Hatter are perfectly aware of the reason for their twitching, however. Their hands are missing, open wrists leaking onto the clean white table.

"Aw, damn," Batman complains. "You wouldn't know nothing about this here, would ya, Cernunnos?"

Cernunnos still stands silent at the edge of the maze, but he is wearing an outrageous new necklace.

"Ah, didn't think so," Batman continues.

A bouquet falls from Ivy's hand, roots and all. She shrieks, her gaze passing between Batman and the god. "What? Was I not good enough for you?"

Batman waves his spewing stubs in protest and puts on a shit-eating grin, teeth gleaming in the sunshine. "Ivy, please. It's not what it looks like."