He slumps down over the table, his hand still gripping his wine glass. Gently I shake his shoulders but he doesn't wake. He certainly won't miss my company so I get up from my seat and make my way across the dance floor. People flutter to my side so I greet them with a kind word, a joke, a burst of laughter, a smile- the same old dull routine, the same insincerity. I walk beyond it all heading for a table on the far side of the room.

Johanna Mason, the newest victor, sits alone at her table. Maybe it is her winning personality or maybe it's because I am too much of an attraction but she has mostly been left alone all night- at her own victory dinner.

I had been impressed by her in the games- her act had even fooled me at first- but as the games drew on snippets of her true self began to show through- the strength she really possessed, her humour, all the chinks in her armour. I found myself hoping she would win so I could meet her because her lies reflect my own. Both of us have to hide who we truly are in order to survive. Maybe she will understand.

"I reckon us actors should stick together," I say, pulling up a chair to join her at the table.

"You? An actor?" she scoffs.

I lean right in towards her ear, "Yeah," I whisper, "I'm not really this pretty- it's just an act."

"See, that's funny," she says, "I thought you were playing the part of a brainless moron."

I can't help but laugh, she looks so serious. "You want to dance?"

"No, I think I've had enough of creeps for tonight, thanks." Something about the way she says it makes alarm bells ring in my head. Out the corner of my vision I see Blasius stood against the wall, watching us. He is looking particularly annoyed tonight. I hope I haven't done something to displease him. He doesn't usually shadow me anymore, not now he knows I will get on with my job. So if he is here that can only mean one thing…

"What did you say to him?"

She shrinks back slightly but when she speaks her voice has grown tougher, more aggressive than before, "I told him he could go to hell and you can do the same."

She turns away from me. I lean in again, I want her to know that I understand. "See that guy over there," I tell her, nodding towards the passed-out drunk who is still sprawled across the table, "That's my date for tonight."

"Great. Go screw your corpse then."

That wasn't really the reaction I was expecting. I thought we might be able to bond over the experience but I guess Johanna Mason isn't the bonding type.

I get to my feet. "Fine. Whatever. I'm Finnick by the way."

I am halfway across the room when she calls to me, "Hey, Odair, you want to ditch this party?"

I look across to the guy I am supposed to be escorting tonight. He may be dead to the world but I doubt I can just abandon him without facing some sort of consequence.

"We can bring him with us," Johanna says, "Why not- he'd probably kill for a two-for-one. You got somewhere you're meant to take him?"

"Yeah. You got a car waiting for you?"

"Car, mentors, escort- don't worry, though, I can ditch them just like I can ditch this party."

"Alright," I say. "I'll meet you outside in five minutes."

I go back to my table and awkwardly lift the man's head. He gains some consciousness and I manage to persuade him to get to his feet. I tell him that we are going home. Half dozing, he mutters something about the Games, and then collapses his full weight onto my shoulders. I drag him to the elevator and we go down to the ground floor and out to the front of the building.

Johanna is waiting for us, leant against a limousine, two drinks in her hands- fussy cocktails in blue and green. "Thought we might like something for the ride."

She opens the door and I shove the guy inside, sliding across the seat after him. Johanna squeezes in on the end, struggling to shut the car door while holding the drinks. I reach into the guy's jacket pocket for his wallet so I can read off the address for the driver.

Johanna hands me the green drink and I sip the toxic liquid. It burns all the way down my throat.

"So what's the name of this douche?" she asks.

I look in the wallet again. "Drusus Blume"

"Blooming drunk, more like." She cackles, taking a huge gulp of her drink. "So how many times do they make you do this?" It is such a casual question. It almost makes the whole situation feel normal.

I shrug. "As many as they can."

"You must be great in bed."

"I wouldn't know. My mind checks out when my body checks in."

"Always?"

"Always."

She laughs again. "You should try doing it for fun sometime. Maybe you'd appreciate it a bit more."

She presses buttons all over the car until she finds the one for the sunroof. When it's open she stands up, sticking her head out into the night, cheering loudly to anyone that will listen. I begin to wonder if Johanna Mason is completely sane.

"Come on!" she says, grabbing hold of my hand.

"I can't," I say, "Someone will see." That's the last thing I want- more news stories, more speculation about my love life. It is good to escape it all for a bit.

She slumps down on the seat next to me. "Why'd you choose this?" She picks up one of Drusus' arms and lets in flop down onto his chest in disgust. He is middle-aged and paunchy. Probably a business man. I know the type- too engrossed in work to look for love, likes the status of being seen with a victor, and desperately needs the relief of a sexual encounter, even if he has to pay for it. I'd guess he has never done this before and that's why he got so nervous that he drunk himself into oblivion.

"They were going to kill my family if I didn't."

She bites her lip. Has she got family too? Did she sign a death sentence by saying no to Blasius?

The car pulls up outside a tall set of apartments. Johanna whistles as she looks up at it. "Looks like Drusus is doing alright for himself."

She helps me drag him out the car and the guard opens the door for us. The apartment is 11C. I have been to enough Capitol buildings to know this will be on the 11th floor so I drag Drusus towards the elevator and Johanna slips in after us.

I don't know exactly what we are going to do when we reach the apartment. Put Drusus to bed, I guess. But then what? Johanna must have had some idea when she asked me if I wanted to leave the party with her. I think of the two cocktails. Maybe she intends for us to drink ourselves silly. I don't know. I haven't got her figured out yet. I can hardly believe I have come here with her. I don't even know her, not really, although I've spent the last few weeks watching her on a television screen.

When we reach the apartment I take the key from Drusus' pocket and hand it to Johanna so she can open the door while I support Drusus. Once inside it only takes a second to see that the place is large, decadent and ridiculous. Everything a home in the Capitol should be. I carry him through to the bedroom and throw him down on the bed. He lands face down, his arms and legs splayed at awkward angles.

"What now?" I ask, looking at Johanna.

"We should at least make it look as though he got what he paid for," she crawls across the bed and starts removing his clothes.

"Johanna!" I hiss.

"Finnick!" she says back, mocking my tone. "I'm just trying to keep you out of trouble."

She takes off his jacket, then his tie, his shirt, then his socks, his trousers, everything right down to his underwear. I turn towards the door, half expecting someone to come in and tell us off. But, of course, no one does.

She wrinkles her nose, "Wow, you're lucky you got out of this one." She throws a blanket over the top of him then begins roaming round the room. She grabs a box of tissues from a side table and begins scrunching them up and throwing them around like confetti. "Got to make it look realistic." She blows her nose on a couple and tucks them inside the bed. Something about this makes my skin crawl. It is just so blatant. She has absolutely no embarrassment. "There!" she says happily, throwing her arms open to present me with her masterpiece. "Now let's have some fun."

She clicks a switch and some music begins to blare out of hidden speakers. My eyes dart towards the bed. "What if he wakes up?"

"Then we'll give him another drink."

She sings along to the music and hops around the room, moving items from off the shelves, tossing them carelessly at the walls. She throws open the wardrobe and plucks bizarre outfits from the rails, wrapping them around her shoulders. She chucks a shiny dressing gown in my direction. "Put that on!"

"But-"

"Christ Finnick, at least try and have some fun for a change."

Maybe she's right. Maybe I have been taking things too seriously. I slip off my shirt and put the robe on over my bare chest. I wrap the tie around my head and wear it as a band doing some prattish moves along to the music. I don't really feel like I'm having fun yet but at least I'm getting into the spirit of it. Johanna puts on a military jacket over her dress and sits a hat with dog's ears on top of her head, the ears hanging down her front.

She runs over to me, flouncing her arms all around her. "Tonight, Finnick, I am going to make you look simply gorgeous!" She pushes me into a chair and begins smearing powders and creams over my face. She moves my body into strange positions and makes comments about my face being too symmetrical to be considered beautiful and that sea green eyes were sooo last season! I instantly recognise the prep teams of the Hunger Games and I play along by twisting my face into bizarre shapes while she marvels at her fantastic work. "I'm a genius!" she declares, pulling me to my feet and forcing me to spin around. I raise my arms above my head, as I have seen some of the girls do, and coo over how clever she is.

She grabs the front of my dressing gown, pulling me towards her, "Want another drink?" she asks.

"Sure."

She releases my gown and we chase each other into the kitchen, laughing like maniacs. We begin raiding Drusus' cupboards until we find the liquor. Johanna fills two tumblers with alcohol and shoves one into my chest with such force half of it spills all over me.

We lay spread out on the sofas, sipping at our drinks and telling ridiculous stories. I tell her about the time a sea turtle swam off with my hat. The clock says it's 3am but I don't even feel tired. Maybe the tablets still haven't worn off after mentoring in the games or maybe it's just because I know that if I give in to tiredness this night will come to an end and I will have to go back to normality.

"That was quite the stunt you pulled in the arena," I tell her.

"They were just brainless."

"It took some guts."

"No guts, no glory." She says. "It's hard to leave that behind, to be honest. I still haven't adjusted back to the real world. Guess that jerk found that out the hard way," she holds her fist in her hand rubbing her reddened knuckles soothingly. No wonder Blasius was looking so unimpressed earlier. I make a mental note never to get on the wrong side of Johanna Mason.

She slides off her sofa and scoots up next to me, her shoulder pushed against mine. She pours some of her drink into my glass and I gulp it down.

"What's Drusus going to think when he wakes up?" I ask.

"Hopefully that the pair of you had a great night."

"I'm glad I got to spend it with you instead."

Johanna snorts, "I didn't realise you were such a woman."

"Well someone has to be," I tease her.

She turns her face towards me, her eyes searching my face for something. I can feel her breath on my cheek. "You should try doing it for fun- at least once."

Slowly, ever so slowly, she leans in and presses her lips against mine. At first I want to move away, to bolt from this all too familiar contact, but she holds me there and keeps kissing until I begin to feel it- The softness of her lips, the sensation of them moving against my own. I never wanted to feel it before and now that I do it doesn't seem so bad.

She pulls away. "You're not going to cry are you?" I think that's her way of making sure I am alright. Checking she isn't just another one of them forcing me into something I don't want to do.

I shake my head. "It's just for fun, right?" I don't want her to think it is anything more than that. It can never be more. Maybe she will show me it is alright to be with someone- that it doesn't always have to be on the Capitol's terms- but I know I will never be able to love her. I can't love anyone. I can never have something that means anything but at least this means they don't own me completely. I deserve this-a real chance of a first time- a chance to try and understand what it is really about. Anyway, it's not like I can go back to where I was before.

"Yeah." She says, "That and I'm hoping that hot bod of yours is going to help me forget the arena."

I let her guide the way. She teases me and makes light of the situation with jokes and barbs. I try my best to keep my mind in the room. I try and enjoy what is happening- the sensation of our bodies together- but I find it impossible. My mechanisms are so fine-tuned now that I can't break away from them. I act on auto-pilot, repeating the same old routines.

"You still with me?" she whispers into my ear.

"Of course," I lie. My mind doesn't need to be there for my mouth to chunter out appropriate responses to their inane questions.

I know she has done this before, her confidence betrays it. She finds her way round my body with ease. It isn't loving or soft or caring but frank and open and that is enough. It is a mutual agreement where we can both use each other for our own ends. I guess sometimes you just need to feel close to someone else.

At times my mind fades in again and I feel whispers of what is going on but it doesn't last long and the minute it is gone I question whether it actually happened. It is as if the two halves of myself are struggling to combine again. I can't let that happen, though, not really. I depend upon them being separate to help me cope.

I get through it, though, and the main thing is, despite not really being there, when it is over I don't feel ashamed of it, or embarrassed, or hurt. If anything, things feel a little lighter.

I slump back on the sofa watching as Johanna pulls her clothes back on. "Don't think of me," she tells me, "I won't be thinking of you. And if you do I am going to kick your arse!" She sticks her tongue out at me and heads for the door.

"Don't you want my number?" I ask her.

"Please, like I would ever phone you. The only reason anyone has for chatting to you is so they can have a good gawp at you."

I smile. Well it's certainly true in the Capitol.

"Stop smiling like that," she says, "Anyone would think you were happy."

And she goes. That's it. No goodbye, nothing.

I stay on the sofa for a while trying to collect my thoughts but when the clock strikes four thirty I know I had better be heading off. I put on my trousers, socks and shoes then head into the bedroom to retrieve my shirt. Drusus is still fast asleep. His room looks a state but I can't be bothered to straighten it. Hopefully he would just think it was part of the party. If only he knew.

It is almost another half an hour before I get home and when I do the phone is ringing.

"Hello?"

"Finnick? It's Hydra. I really need you to do me a favour." She sounds worried.

"What is it?"

"If anyone asks, I was with you tonight. OK?"

"OK."

Then she hangs up the phone.