Klaus dragged his feet till the living room. He wanted to get away from that basement without looking back. He would send someone to remove the corpse of the dead wolf and clean up the place. Despite his bitter memories, it would always be the place where he and Caroline spent precious time together.
It was too soon for him to process everything; he had all the time in the world to get to grips with his feelings. And his loneliness.
Elijah had offered to stay with him for the night, but Klaus declined the offer. He was not a little boy any more. He needed time to think and his elder brother respected his wish.
He realized he still carried the blood bag Caroline had offered him before leaving. That is all I can give you right now. Those words were engraved in his memory and played over and over again like a broken record.
The craving for blood was so intense now that he no longer feared he would turn into a beast. It made him move with an urgency absent from his moves for almost a month. He didn't care; there was no one around to witness his frantic effort to quench his thirst.
He could drink from the bag; his shirt was already ruined, a few more drops wouldn't matter. Still, he forced himself to search for a glass and pour the liquid slowly and carefully. He needed to prove to himself that he was still in control.
You're pathetic, my friend. He almost laughed at himself for pretending to be the same man as before. Nothing was the same, even this room seemed to have shrunk and suffocated him.
He sat on his favorite chair and sipped the blood from the expensive glass. When the precious liquid touched his throat, a welcome bliss took his mind off of all the worries. For a few moments, he let the blood soothe his trembling body.
His eyes slowly turned to amber as if an inner fire had just been lit. He was still in human form, just his senses were heightened even more now. His body ached all over; it felt like a dried piece of leather that screeched when touched. His feet weighed like lead and he didn't have the will to go to his own room.
He closed his eyes, emptied his mind of any thoughts and focussed on healing. The blood now flowed through his veins, restoring his strength. He must have forgotten its taste, cause this glass of blood tasted like nectar. He was sure it was nothing special, its only real value lay in the fact that she gave it to him.
Why are you tormenting me even now? Why can't you leave me in peace? He pleaded the image of the pretty blonde vampire, his only companion now.
Suddenly, he realized that he didn't know what to do with his time. What do I do when I am home? he asked himself. It was as if someone had erased his memories of his previous life.
He looked around in the hope of getting some clues from the familiar place. He could relax drawing, but he didn't like the idea. It was certain he would end up drawing the angelic face that haunted him in his wake and in his sleep. That would do no good to his fragile self control.
He could read a good book, but he had no desire to travel to someone else's world. He could go for a walk, but everything here in Mystic Falls would remind him of her. He could go away for a while... the thought didn't seem that bad.
After he emptied the blood bag, he felt strength return to his limbs. He congratulated himself for resisting to drink Caroline's blood. Even though he wanted that so badly that he would kill for it, he could not afford to reduce her to a blood bag.
Yeah, that will make you Original of the year. He sighed, hating himself for turning into a sentimental fool.
They say time is the best healer for broken hearts. He didn't want to heal, he didn't want to forget her. He needed her to feel the same way he did, but he was powerless. Only she had the power to give her heart to whomever she loved.
Klaus was not one to brood and lay idly to shed tears of disappointment. He quickly removed his clothes and tossed them by the bed side. He needed a shower more than anything right now.
The hot water on his skin had a purifying effect. He feared the stench from the wolf's corpse had clinged on his skin and would never leave him. He stood there, his hands on the wall supporting his weight. Rivulets of water traced his back, the drops falling to the ground only to be replaced by identical ones.
The running water reminded him of his life. It passed him by, washing away the dirt from his deeds. It left no visible traces on his body, but every passing moment left its scar on his old soul. He had learned to ignore his emotions, because it was the only way he knew how to remain strong against his enemies.
These last days he found out, to his great surprise, that he could be strong without shutting down his emotions, if given the right motivation. That motivation came in the form of a beautiful person, with a heart large as the sky.
It hurt to think of her. It was like someone twisted a dagger inside his heart. He wasn't sure what more could he do to convince her to give him a chance. He had spared her friends for going against him, he had opened up to her revealing more than even his siblings knew about him.
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone. Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me...
The verses lingered in his mind, making him feel like they were written for him. He, the mighty Niklaus Mikaelson, begging to hear those three simple words.
He touched his chest, where the dagger wound was now almost healed. It shouldn't hurt anymore, but it did. For a moment, he wondered what would happen if Freya hadn't been there to save him.
What a peculiar girl she was. He was used to people helping him out of fear or compulsion. A hint of love may even guide his siblings' help, though things were never that simple between them. Freya however, had no reason to help him. He had saved her in the past, so what? It was a decision he made on the spot, he didn't really expect to be paid back.
If she hadn't been there, he would have been possessed by the spirit of the ancient witch. He would have power beyond his enemies, but he would forever lose Caroline. He even tried to kill her while under the control of the black soul of the vengeful witch.
He didn't know if Freya had teamed up with Elijah for her own benefit. Something told him that Elijah was just as surprised by her presence as he was. It would be safe to assume that the only thing he was sure of after the events of that day was that he had gained a friend.
Of course, many years ago he thought Stefan was his friend too, but look at them now. Betrayal had become such a constant in his life that he half expected it from other people and didn't hesitate to do it himself.
The water had gone ice cold now and he stepped out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist, not caring to wipe away the drops of water still glistening over his muscular chest. He was exhausted now as if something had drained his life power. He flashed to his king size bed and laid down over the covers.
He had missed the feeling of the soft bed under him. Yet, he would still prefer to be down at the basement, over that old mattress. Because he just had to turn his head to look at the sleeping beauty that had stolen his heart.
Once again, his thoughts ran to her. What should he do? He had decided to give her time, but how much time was sufficient for him not to go crazy?
Thoughts of forbidden happiness tortured him, till he was finally asleep, alone in his bed, sprawled like a helpless victim.
Caroline was exhausted when the car stopped in front of her house. The familiar sight made her want to cry, but she kept up the facade till she was alone in her room.
Liz took her car keys and hurried to open her daughter's door. Normally Caroline would object since she was no longer young and fragile. Tonight she lacked the energy to do so.
She could tell her mother was trying to be strong for both of them. Caroline realized that from the day she was captured, Liz had been all alone, imagining the worst for her daughter. She had Klaus to lean on in her darkest moments, Liz had no one.
She stepped out of the car and hugged her mother. She never thought it possible that her mother, who was raised with hatred for vampires, would choose to help Klaus of all people. Deep down in her heart she knew Liz only did it because of her, but she didn't want to dwell on that.
"It's all over, mom. Don't worry, I'm here and I'm OK." she said, the usual enthusiasm absent from her voice. It is only natural to be tired, Caroline justified herself.
Liz hugged her daughter tightly, breathing in her delicate scent. Her baby daughter was finally home and that was all that mattered. She needed to blame someone for the pain her Caroline had endured for almost a month. There was an easy prey, but Liz couldn't turn a blind eye to the sacrifices the Original had made to keep Caroline safe.
It didn't matter if he did it out of love. It didn't matter if Liz didn't approve this kind of relationship. It didn't matter if Caroline was still oblivious to her own feelings. She was grateful she had her daughter back.
"I'm grateful you're here, honey." She caressed Caroline's hair, knowing full well she hated being pampered like when she was young.
The two women said no more and entered the house in silence. They went in the kitchen, where Caroline set at her usual spot at the table. Liz took a blood bag from the special compartment in the fridge and poured it into Caroline's favorite cup.
Caroline took the cup from her mother's hand and drank a bit, without really thinking of what she was doing. Even though she was hungry, she had refused to drink his blood the last time he offered, the blood didn't sit well with her stomach.
"What's wrong, Caroline? Are you feeling OK?" Her mother rushed to her side, worry evident in her drawn face.
Caroline knew her mother took care of the blood supply, but she couldn't help but wince at the taste of the blood. It was like ash and water, lacking that subtle taste she remembered. It would sustain her, but for the first time in a long while she felt disgusted at the life giving liquid. She needed it though, so she said nothing.
"It's nothing really, mom. I just missed being home." It was not the whole truth, but it was not a lie. Liz could see it, but she didn't press the matter. Caroline appreciated the silent understanding from her mother's side.
"You must be exhausted. Go to your room, honey." Liz knew her daughter wanted nothing better than to go to her own sanctuary. "If you need anything, call me."
She kissed her daughter's brow and wished her goodnight. This night would be difficult for Caroline, but she was finally home. It may take her a little to adjust to the life she'd left behind, but she would not be alone. They needed to talk, but it could wait a few more days.
"Goodnight, mom. Dont worry, I'll be fine." She could say I'm fine, but they were both adults and knew better.
Caroline walked up the stairs in normal pace. Somehow she feared being alone in her room. This was the place she felt safer than anywhere in the world. Almost.
She closed the door and leaned for a few moments on it. I have my old life back. Everything will be OK. She kept repeating it with the hope that in the end she would feel better.
Yes, she had her old life back. It must be her exhaustion and her bad mood, cause her old life seemed so empty right now. She chased away the doubts; it was not the right moment for serious evaluations.
She needed a shower so badly; she needed to wash away the stink of death and betrayal. She was surprised to realize she was still wearing his jacket. Ever since he gave it to her that night so long ago, she hadn't taken it off.
It was too cold in that damn place. That is all there is to it. She removed the jacket and let it fall on the floor. Her once beautiful sundress followed the jacket in the pile near her feet. Then she removed the watch from his wrist.
Damn it, is there anything else on me that belongs to him? She felt so frustrated, without really knowing why. She kept avoiding saying his name, as if this way the memory of him being so close to her, was less offending. She decided she would return the items as soon as she felt better.
She stepped into the shower and let the hot water cleanse her body and soul. She missed the sweet vanilla scent of her shampoo. She applied it twice, till her long hair felt finally clean. She kept staying under the hot water, indulging herself in this small but essential luxury.
Caroline couldn't tell the exact moment she realized she was crying. Why was she crying? She was finally safe, in her room. From the moment she had woken up in that filthy basement, she had dreamed of being back home. She had made it in one piece; this called for celebration, not tears.
She felt like she had lost something precious. She had lost her innocence. Ever since she became a vampire, she had faced death and sorrow to last her for a lifetime. Yet, she was optimist and had overcome all those obstacles. Now, for the first time she opened her eyes. She didn't like what she saw.
She had come too close to evil and her heart had been scorched. Even though he was still the monster they accused him of being, he had been caught in a game of revenge, making her a target too. Evil was no longer a nameless black cloud that hovered over those who did not have a pure heart. It had many faces and it came in all flavours.
Caroline found herself on the opposite side of the gang. Even if her friends' schemes were only meant to save her, she got a taste of the result of their intent to kill. Seeing it from his point of view, they were just enemies, no better than him.
Her tears kept mixing with the water from the shower. but she didn't stop. It was liberating, all those pent up emotions would make her burst if she didn't let them out. She had no one to talk to, not anymore.
She always knew that Bonnie and Elena would be there for her. In their own way her friends were faithful to their oath to keep her safe. She couldn't explain why she felt so betrayed. Yes, they had tried to kill him, but why would that upset her so much? She was no innocent when it came to conspiring to take him down.
It was inhuman to condemn him to eternal torture in that hell hole. There is no other reason. At least none she was determined to admit at that moment.
Caroline was tired of feeling so torn apart. She was strong now; she could take care of herself. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in her favorite towel. She wrapped another towel around her damp hair.
When she entered the room, she felt like she had never left. A look at the mirror opposite her made her see the change. Apart from the dark circles under her eyes, she seemed like haunted.
Nothing a good beauty mask can't fix. Her determination to overcome this weird world of unexplored feelings gave her strength to move on. She wore her favorite pajamas and then dried her hair rather carelessly.
If anyone saw her right now, they wouldn't believe she had been through hell. She was determined to forget the bad things that happened to her. When she was done, she went straight to her bed. She might be eighteen years old, but she allowed herself to jump over the bed and land on it as if she was eleven.
Her eyes fell to the nightstand and she saw her diary. For a moment she thought her mother had taken it out of the drawer and she was ready to cry in exasperation at her indiscretion. Then she remembered that Bonnie had come to her room to get a precious personal object. She also realized that that object still remained in the basement, where Bonnie had left it during her spell.
That drawing had been the cause of many troubles for her and Tyler. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to through it away of tear it apart. It was his first gift and she liked it too much to destroy it. Either way, it was a harmless drawing, why would anyone bother with it?
If it was a meaningless thing, then why did you choose it as your important object? Why do you miss it even now?
The voice was once again ignored. Caroline needed to justify to no one about wanting to keep what was hers.
She didn't have the strength to write in her diary, though she had so much to tell. She put it back in its place, closing the drawer carefully.
She was amazed at seeing herself react in such a calm and controlled manner. She felt chaotic inside, ready to burst because of those unexplainable steamy emotions.
I'll do it tomorrow, she promised herself. turning the lights off.
She got under the covers and turned to lean on her left side. Even in the darkness, she could see the contours of her desk, her laptop left half-opened.
She had so much to sort out that her mind wandered from thought to thought, from memory to memory till she drifted to sleep. It was an uneasy sleep, full of weird dreams that woke her up abruptly.
"Klaus!" She couldn't believe her ears when she heard her voice calling his name. She still expected him to rush to her side and hold her in his embrace to calm her down.
She had been so careful to avoid saying his name. Now she knew she was just being stupid. Even if she didn't say it, her thoughts still lingered on him.
All those days and nights in the dark basement, she was accustomed to lying on her left side and looking across the room at his sleeping form. Even if he was almost as powerless as she was in that basement, she still counted on him to chase the fears away. To her great annoyance, he always managed to do just that.
Did I thank him for protecting me? The last moments before they parted ways, were just a blur to her. She was sure she had thanked him, but it felt like it was still too little. Well, I'll thank him properly some other time.
Caroline was determined to move on with her life. She needed to think of her future, to protect her heart. She was strong now.
Despite her decision to be strong, her body betrayed her. Sleep still attacked her tired limbs and mind and she knew she would soon lose this battle. That was actually a blessing.
As her mind wandered in a thousand directions, a forgotten melody lingered in her subconscience.
And if I bleed, I bleed knowing you don't care
And if I sleep, just to dream of you
And wake without you there
Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me...
A few blocks away, another young girl was having trouble sleeping. Bonnie was craving for some blessed forgetfulness, but she was still wide awake.
She kept playing in her mind's eyes the events of that remarkable day. She had failed to save her friend and take Klaus down. Even though Caroline was safe, she would not forget the way she looked at her when she realized what she meant to do with Klaus.
I just wanted the best for you, Care. She knew it wasn't that simple. They were no longer children, the world was no longer black and white.
She was pissed at herself for not recognizing the threat that Freya posed to her and her friends. Now that it was over, she realized the signs were all there.
When they were practising together, Freya kept disrupting the contact between them. Bonnie was too self-centered then and thought she was just weak. She should have seen the look in the other woman's eyes. Those eyes held the determination of someone ready to do anything to achieve their goal.
Her goal was to help Klaus. They knew it all along, but they failed to understand the extent to which the other witch would go to save her ally. She was dying to know the story behind those two. Something told her Freya was there on her own accord. She proved to be a tough cookie, and if it weren't for her wounded pride, Bonnie would congratulate her.
Even though everyone got out of this mess only with their ego bruised, she felt uneasy. She remembered the visions she had when she held those beautiful drawings. She needed to talk with Caroline first thing in the morning.