Skyscraper
You can take everything I have;
You can break everything I am;
Like I'm made of glass;
Like I'm made of paper.
Day Thirteen
Daraeh Elwood, District Five Female
Waking up is easier in the Arena. Quickly, I pack up my dwindling supplies and begin walking. Since the fire started the mist has let up, but with the smell of burning not that far from wherever I am and the chill that shouldn't exist alongside such a thing, I think I prefer the fog.
Since the flames my plan to build myself up to the point where I kill mercilessly has been... compromised. Whatever's in this fire isn't natural, or maybe whatever's in the mutts is counteracting with the flames. When on fire they change, and that's impeding on what I have to do each day. Have might be the wrong word to use, but I like to think that it's essential for me to commit to such deeds, especially since whenever I'm not doing anything all I can think about are the other tributes.
Sleeping is a problem, it's probably what makes waking up so much easier. I haven't got a connection with anyone else in this Arena, maybe Isaac but me and him never got along in the first place. The lack of such a relationship doesn't prevent myself from seeing them in my sleep. Cloe, lying in a pool of her own blood with me, the one wielding one of my knives. Or little Rhoena, cradling a broken leg as she tries to crawl away but I laugh joyously as I hack her to pieces.
I'm worried about my mental state. Such dreams aren't natural, not even for someone like me in the position I'm in. I shouldn't be scared about what I have to do to win, in fact it's what I've been preparing for, but I don't think it's working either way. Pretending it is is easier than facing the truth. As I turn the corner and see the lone creature, I swallow all that down and prepare myself for the next kill in a sequence of kills I can't fully remember.
They're only Capitol creations after all, I shouldn't feel anything so I try not to.
The second its lifeless eyes find mine, the fire ignites further and swallows it whole. I've seen it happen a few times but even so, it still gets to me each time. The feet are a blur as they sprint against the concrete, teeth gnash together as red blobs of liquid spray from its mouth. Reaching for the first knife, it connects instantly with its head just in time. The thing crashes into me but with my good arm I throw it over my shoulder and ignore the squelch that follows on impact
Solo, these warped mutts are easier to handle. In a pack, I can only imagine.
I shiver and try to hug my jacket tighter. The water absorbed into it over the days, added to the blood from wounds I've received and inflicted has manifested into a strange smell. I never cared for my appearance and even now, the fact that the Capitol might see me as some monster with disgusting hair and twisted features doesn't matter to me. But the smell is distracting.
Considering what I've had to do in this Arena when it comes to my own body, I close my eyes and shake my head. None of this is important. If they begin to think I care about how I'm presenting myself what does that say? I'm a hypocrite? It certainly seems so. For all my stubbornness, if I give in and allow some form of worry over the most superficial of things, then it just makes me one of them on another level. No matter what my motivations, that's the last thing I intend on becoming.
I miss Dimanine. Even Avalon and... Koder... before the two ruined everything. I've been alone for what feels a year and the lack of company is its own torture. Independence is one thing but loneliness is something else entirely. It's suffocating to know that no one else has my back, the next person I see will try to kill me and I've been preparing myself to kill... a teenager. The same kinds of people I used to see in Five everyday, those I'd either like or dislike, they're in here with me and I'm thinking about snuffing out their life...
I don't know why it's happening now of all times, but reality is sinking in. I can pretend and pretend that I'm something unbreakable and untouchable, that after this all I can relish in the grief of my actions if I make it out alive. But it's happening earlier than I intended and right now, a flaming mutt is the least of my worries.
Three tributes from Career districts, training against mutts won't even come close to the amount of training they've had over their lives. Isaac, from my own District. If I killed him there wouldn't be any point in returning to Five, people who kill their own aren't welcomed back into society. Then there's Rhoena, the broken girl who wouldn't stop crying. No matter how much I try to piece it together I can't think of any possible reasoning behind how she made it this far. Unless it was all a ruse, but such despair is hard to fake on that level. And Taylor, a girl I've never had any remote contact with but a girl all the same, with a life and friends and family.
And I've been practicing to kill these people?
Koder's death brought about the idea I had to be what the Capitol wanted of me, and accepting it was easy at the time but now... thinking about it. What was I thinking?
With all this raging inside my head, I still manage to see the feet of the next mutt. This time though, I don't bring up the knife. I've tried to see Fortune's face, or Callista's, or any of the others when I kill them. This time, I can't do that. Not even for a career.
I quickly look over my shoulder as the thing picks up speed, a switch being flicked on inside whatever brain it might have. Between two houses that are yet to fall to the Arena, a large fence stands with white points that contrast against the dark.
I smell the mutt before I see it again, and barely missing its extended arm, I dart forwards and sprint for the fence. Everyone within this Arena appears behind my eyes, everyone I've been training myself to kill. For the first time in a while, the thought of doing sends a stab of pain inside my body and I pump my legs faster.
If I don't kill this mutt I've broken the cycle I created. The first thing I didn't kill, trying to teach myself that murder isn't as hard as it's cracked up to be. Weighing my options, if the situation doesn't require such a fight, fleeing isn't bad. I have to accept that I can't just kill someone without any emotion. That's not what the human body is programmed to do. For all my faults, I'm still a human girl, with thoughts and feelings. And those thoughts and feelings, no matter how hard I try to keep them at bay, are what will stop me from being some merciless monster.
I scramble up the fence, faster than I remember being and with a new found passion in my strength. A weight's been taken off my shoulders, for the first time in a long time I feel like a person.
I'm done pretending such an action will be easy, there's no point trying to train myself to be numb to murder because that's impossible. I was deluded to believe it wasn't. If I kill, it'll be because my own life was on the line, in a fight I didn't incite. I won't go blundering in like some beast set on killing their way out, I'll do what I have to do for my own survival. But I won't pretend it won't hurt me, because it will.
And for once I'm fine with the idea of crying, of feeling hurt. Because it only reminds me that I am who I am. Something I struggled to be. It was never going to work if I held it all back, I've finally found the balance. To be who I really am, pain is something I have to embrace. It makes me who I am.
Rhoena Selfridge, District Seven Female
It doesn't seem right, feeling this good about myself. That's not what the Games were designed for, they were created so people like me fall apart even more. I've seen it happen, Dash a prime example of how someone already broken shatters into nothing.
But in a sick twist as the days have flown by, I've become a stronger person.
Truthfully every time Taylor hugs me a little flash of remembrance, of pain stirs inside and I feel like spiders are crawling all over my skin. Though I've learnt through Scout and through Taylor that it's okay for comfort, for someone to protect you and care for you. Scars like the ones I've received aren't something that will ever go but they're healing, bit by bit there's a light somewhere inside of me that's taking control and I'm accepting it.
I just hope what I did resulted in something happening at home that makes up for all the pain. If there's the tiniest chance of him hurting someone else even though I confessed... I blink and shake my head, no- no that's not a possibility. The District is safer, as safe as a District can be considering where we live.
"You okay Rhoena?" Taylor says, a hint of discomfort in her voice. The blood has stopped but the bruises have swollen and smothered an entire eye. It's painful to look at but Taylor seems to push through it and I have to grant her the peace knowing I'm here for her. She protected me after all, saved me even. If it wasn't for her... well, I think of Scout and know what could have happened.
"I'm fine," I pick up the bottle of water we received earlier today and hand it over. "You should have some, keep up your strength."
She chuckles and I look down and smile at the warmth inside my stomach. Despite the destination of where we're headed, these little moments of bliss are something I shouldn't fear. It'll only devastate me, tear a hole in what we've built together if I focus too much on what's going to happen to either one of us, or both, in the near future.
"Pretty sure that fire's getting closer, we'll have to move again later today," she sighs, taking the bottle and swallowing the tiniest of sips. "Sorry," she adds.
I shake my head and look over my shoulder at the distant smoke smothering the air. The grey has nearly merged with the black clouds hanging over our heads, even with the lightning and fire acting as a light there's still an unnatural darkness amongst this Arena. If anything the rain helps, each drop's like a tiny slap to the face. It brings me round when I feel like falling asleep.
"It's good to be moving anyway, we have water which should keep our strength up. Walking's good. Considering..."
"Yeah, don't want to let that fire grow too close."
Her features twist for a second. It's barely noticeable but there's a flash between discomfort and... something familiar in her one good eye. I can't pinpoint it but when she looks up and smiles, it happens again and then stops. Taylor brushes some of her hair behind an ear and passes the bottle back over to me.
"You sure you're okay?"
Better question is, is she? I keep my mouth shut and nod, allowing my lips to show the smallest of smiles. I won't let myself grow unhappy again but I worry for Taylor, after everything she's been through when all she does is try to protect me and put the danger onto herself, it can't be easy. She pretends like she's so much older than she really is, but a teenage girl doesn't deserve the burden she carries. Maybe I'm not a burden, I saved her once before too, but in a fight it's usually Taylor there to take the beating and it just worries me, the scars on her face might not be the only scars she has. I know about mental scars, too much even.
The flash in her eye. It could be the start of something. She has a kill to her name, I wouldn't blame her. Dash is still there lurking in my dreams. I'm just used to keeping such things at bay to enable myself to sleep.
"The fire's getting closer. We really should go." The urgency in her voice snaps me back to it and quickly, almost like it's been rehearsed a thousand times, the small shelter we set up is packed away in mere seconds and we start walking. Taylor takes the lead with me just behind her, hand ready to be grabbed in case of danger. Behind me the roaring is loud, like the thunder. I've never seen many fires but I feel the heat wafting through the air and attacking me already.
Taylor wipes her forehead. She must be feeling it also, surely they wouldn't just burn us though. To kill us by fire when the numbers are so low, that takes away the prospect of another fight and after the amount of fights I've been in and witnessed, it seems they like them. My knowledge on the Games isn't extensive, even with first hand experience there's more to it than I know. But death by fire when the victor is just round the corner... the flames behind me don't worry me as much as they should.
"You should try running."
The other tributes do though.
The single voice snaps Taylor out of whatever trance she's in. When she's leading us somewhere the role of leader overwhelms everything else and her senses heighten. The second we see Callista behind us, the fire blazing further down the very street we're on, Taylor grabs the knife from her belt and raises it in front of her.
"What are you doing here?" her voice cracks slightly but she keeps her strength. Callista looks worse than either of us, even Taylor. Her skin has been stretched across her bones, the veins throbbing blue. She steps again with a limp and Taylor pulls me back instinctively. There's a sense of fear growing but it doesn't match the intensity of what we felt the last time we saw her. Callista's weak, maybe even dying. Without Lance, I don't see her as some sort of foe. The state she's in, I almost pity her.
"Funny meeting you again," she laughs weakly and coughs blood up. Her body convulses slightly and she limps forwards again. "Thought I'd be angry next time I saw you, considering what you did to Lance. If anything it's good to see you. No one really thought you had a chance you know, especially you."
Her eyes meet mine and she smiles. There's no hidden intention I can sense, just a plain smile similar to Taylor's. Callista is right after all. I doubt anyone thought I'd make it out the bloodbath. Yet here I am in the final seven with a girl from Twelve. Two of the most unlikely getting closer to the finale.
"I'm not here to stop you or kill you or anything of the sort. I was just running from the fire, or limping, whatever you wanna call it. Hard to run when your body's failing," she scoffs and shakes on the spot again.
Taylor steps backwards but there's hesitation as she raises the knife.
"I already killed one career... I can... kill you."
"You could, but you won't."
Callista walks forwards again, maybe three more steps away from reaching Taylor. Neither girl does anything, they just stare at each other. Her eyes flicker back to me and she smiles once more, then back at Taylor.
"Those things that try to eat you, they do weird things when set alight. The fire messes with them. Now I'll be off, but we'll meet again. Probably," she shrugs her shoulders and closes the gap. Taylor flinches but lowers the knife as Callista carries on walking. We watch her, the heat building up and up, as she turns the corner and disappears.
"Why didn't she try to hurt us?" Taylor asks. I open my mouth to answer but she doesn't give me the chance. Taylor stumbles forwards again, snapped back into that leadership state of hers.
Taylor's fine, as far as I can tell anyway. All I can really think about right now is Callista, on the verge of death. And then my chances.
If all the tributes are like her... it makes the possibility of me winning even more likely.
As bad as that might be, really, winning is all I try to think about now. Even if I know what that means for Taylor, victory's closer than I thought possible. I can see home, I can actually picture it. And for once that image doesn't scare me.
Isaac Heller, District Five Male
My leg hooks on a single branch sticking out from the hedge. The thorns dig deep into my trouser leg and as I pull away the point pierces into my skin. Ignoring it though, I continue scrambling around without any real direction, pushing my hands through the biting wind and icy rainwater as it bombards me from above. The muddy ground is growing muddier, the cold colder, everything's getting worse.
Somehow as I stumble around blindly, thorns and branches attacking each and every inch of my body, I find peace in it all. This is my punishment for what I did. After Eden, I knew that no matter what my brain told itself nothing would ever be right again. It was easier to imagine pushing the guilt away and fighting through to victory than it is actually doing it.
The second Eden's face lit up the sky I knew that it was over for me. All the feelings of guilt, anger and sadness at what I'd done exploded out of me at the same time the weather reached breaking point. It's been impossible to find sleep in this punishment, nowhere to relax when I don't know where I am. From the mansion these hedges seemed frightening but nothing to worry about, the maze looked small in comparison to everything else.
But being here, similar to the weather, it's almost like the Gamemakers have purposely brought everything to a level unimaginable. I want to believe in that pride and courage I felt yesterday without Eden and the days before with her, but I can't anymore, not when it feels like the world is crumbling around me, dragging me down to whatever hell lies after death.
If there is an afterlife, I hope I receive exactly what I'm owed. People like me, even if we try to pretend we aren't who we really are, it all comes back to us. We don't deserve pity.
I bite down on my tongue as a blast of lightning pelts the ground just in front of me. The thin ray sends me toppling backwards and as my mouth fills up with blood, I see a tiny slither of a branch crawling through the mud towards me. As it grows closer I push upwards and sprint through the tiny sparks of fire. The maze walls are taller than before, towering over me like the ones surrounding the Cornucopia. With the final seven, I thought that maybe I could at least go out in a fight with a tribute. I don't deserve my wishes to be true, not after what I did to protect Eden – well, what I didn't do – but it sounds better to be killed by a human rather than the Arena itself.
It seems even the Gamemakers don't want that, they can't feel any sense of remorse over putting Eden in here and having her killed, she was nothing to them, but it's fun to torment me and make my mind believe I am the cause. If it is just that, well it's working. Because I know that it is my fault and I don't even care if it isn't. Someone or something killed her, but it's the fact I wasn't there to at least try to protect her that got her killed in the first place.
Or the fact I wanted to go down that blasted hallway. Even now I remember the fear on her face as she looked at the light swaying and flickering on and off. She didn't want to go down there but I dragged her along anyway. Why must I always think nothing will happen to me, such foolish ignorance, then the worst things do?
Of course I don't deserve to be killed by someone still alive who actually deserves to have made it this far. I'm worse than Fortune and Callista, Woven, Katri, all of them. Even Brazen, he was so childishly naïve. It wasn't his fault everything was a competition. I was mentally sound enough to understand what I've been doing yet I still went through with it.
Why did I make it this far over the others who have died?
Before I can muster up an answer, my feet slip from under me and I fall with a squelch in the mud. My eyes barely get a second to look up at the cast of grey clouds, closing down as they almost seem to lower in the sky, before I'm blinded by the rain.
The thing making it undrinkable starts to burn before I let my eyes close for a second. As far as I can remember it was never like that, but like with everything there's always something ready to be made worse about it.
I wipe at my eyes and spit out water. My backpack fell from my shoulders a while ago, it must have done. Only now do I realise this, without a cushion to protect me from falling I feel a throbbing in my shoulders and a tiny stab of pain in my side.
More rain pelts my entire body whilst I try to push myself up. The hedges are no support, when my fingers barely brush past them I feel a branch snag out and encircle my wrist. A yelp breaks from my throat before I can stop it, the knife is still hooked to my belt and quickly I manage to cut right through it. The thing dies, or at least stops moving, and falls to the ground. Another gust of wind nearly sends me toppling backwards again but I can't fall over for a second time, even if I know I don't deserve this the actual thought of just giving up and dying, I'm scared of doing that.
I feel something tickle my arm, sliding up my sleeve. My other hand immediately starts slapping it but at the first sign of pain I try to grab onto the branch covered with thorns and pull it away. Nothing works as they cut through my fingers. I feel tears in my eyes from the pain but I continue to try and pull at them as I feel every part of my body growing tighter and tighter as more extend and grab onto me.
The rain gets into my eyes again as I squirm out of one branch's target, the burning added to the stinging across every single crevice of my body makes me shout with pain. The knife falls to the mud with a splash and somehow I'm stupid enough to feel myself kick it under the hedge as I thrash around some more.
I know what's happening. What I've done and what my fate is in the next few minutes. I continue to pull and twist everything my hands can get to, even though I see the flesh hanging like ribbons and blood trickling down my torn up arms, I continue to no avail to free myself.
Nothing works, with no weapon I can't do a thing to save myself.
Slowly they pull me inwards, towards the mesh of thorns growing thicker the deeper I look. A glint of silver catches my eye at the last second, but even if I could try it's far too late. Eden, Woven, Katri, Brazen. They all appear one last time, for one last moment of peace I try to tell myself they're in a better place. Even if I don't deserve to see them again, maybe I will anyway.
Everything grows dark as my body explodes with the intensity of a fire, every thorn like a knife stabbing me as I sink deeper and deeper.
Then it all cuts off, numbs down to nothing and I know... I know I'm gone. Finally, there's nothing left to fight for anymore, I can move on in peace.
Skyscraper by Demi Lovato
Isaac Heller, District Five Male
richard25, Isaac is probably the one tribute who had changed the most. I knew when he was in his alliance that he would be the one to make it the furthest, at first I didn't know how far because with someone like him there was only going to be so much I could do. But with Brazen and the big reality check he suffered from, I finally realised what I could do with him. Then came along Eden and I really began to find who he was and where he was headed. After Eden's death though there was nothing else left for him, he went out at the best possible time. Thanks for submitting him!
Author's Note: There's a poll up on my profile, it's been there for a few days so I'll take down Isaac as one of the options and post the results alongside the next chapter.
Speaking of next chapter, things are finally reaching the end. The next chapter will lead on into the finale and then we'll have the victor. I'm happy with my final six. All of them are here for a reason and it's going to be sad to see five of them go very soon.
Question time!
Stand out POV and why?
Who do you want in the final three, who do you think will make it?
Favourite tribute from the final six and why?
Anyone in the final six you never saw making it this far?
Next chapter might be early because it's a big one and I'm excited to write it. Also, just in case you weren't aware information regarding my new SYOT is up on my profile as is the prologue to the story which has now been published. Go check it out if you're interested :)