Chapter 41
Disclaimer: Just because I own copies of them, doesn't mean I own the originals.
0x0x0x0
Harry watched a red-eyed Hermione step into Grimmauld's kitchen, and then blink in surprise at him.
"What time did you get up?" she asked.
"Too early," replied Harry. "Do you want anything?"
"You don't have to."
"Right, then," said Harry, standing up and walking to the stove.
"You don't have to make me anything," repeated Hermione.
"You're right, I don't," said Harry. "Doesn't mean I don't want to, though."
"Alright," said Hermione. She watched as Harry began making breakfast. Luna stumbled in around the same time, making her way to Hermione and then flopping down on Hermione's lap. She then began to gently snore.
Hermione looked like she had no idea what to do.
"Nothing to be done about it," said Harry, turning back to the stove.
"Laugh it up," said Hermione. "I'll get something embarrassing on you and Etna."
"Sure you will," said Etna, stepping into the kitchen. "When she wakes up, tell Luna she needs to be quieter when she sleepwalks."
Hermione glared at Etna, but only until Harry put breakfast in front of her.
"Thank you," she said, pushing some of Luna's hair out of the way as she began to eat breakfast single-handed.
"I take it visiting your parents went badly?" asked Etna.
"They had divorce papers waiting."
"It's not your fault," said Harry.
"I know that. And my father, Narcissa, and Luna have all said as much."
"Good," replied Harry. "But you need to keep hearing it until you believe it."
"And just how does that work?" asked Hermione.
"Because if you hear something often enough, good or bad, you'll start to believe it," replied Harry.
"And I suppose you've had plenty of experience with that?" grumbled Hermione. Her eyes went wide as she realized what she'd said, and immediately blurted "I'm sorry!"
"It's alright," said Harry. "You're not at your best. And to answer your question, yeah, I have. Vernon and Petunia were of the opinion that everything bad that happened was my fault. Whether it was the bacon being burned, Dudley's grades, or Vernon not getting a promotion. Generally in conjunction with my freakishness, abnormalities, or because everything was always my fault."
"Harry, you know I'm really good at hiding bodies, right?" asked Etna.
"They aren't worth the trouble," replied Harry.
"You sure? It wouldn't actually take that long."
Harry glared.
"Can I at least vandalize some property and maybe cut some brake lines?"
"No, because they'll blame me, and I don't need muggle police chasing after me."
"Fine."
Harry spread out breakfast for the others, even Luna, whom Hermione moved to a separate chair. In response, Luna slumped onto Hermione's shoulder, and went back to snoring.
Hermione glanced at her shoulder, and then made a face.
"What?" asked Etna.
"She's drooling on my shoulder," said Hermione.
"It's punishment for moving," replied Etna, not looking up from her food.
"Probably," said Hermione. "Harry, you're going with Narcissa to the Ministry?"
Harry nodded.
"I'm going to abuse your brother," said Etna.
Hermione sighed, only for Luna to poke her in the side.
"Don' sigh, i's not ladylike," mumbled Luna, before shifting and moving her head further into Hermione's shoulder.
"Alright, I know you're awake," said Hermione.
"But I'm comfortable," replied Luna.
"I'll tickle you," warned Hermione.
"I'm up, I'm up," said Luna, bolting upright. She blinked at the plate that Harry had placed directly in front of her. "Oh! Breakfast! Thank you, Harry."
"You're welcome," said Harry.
0x0x0x0
Sirius and Narcissa arrived dressed in clothing that may as well have had the word "opulent" written in block letters using gold and surrounded by diamonds. Harry paid it little mind, although Hermione was agog.
"Never make me wear that," she said.
"I will, as circumstances dictate," replied Narcissa. She glanced at Harry. He was dressed a little muggle for her tastes. Black pants, black shoes, and a button-down silk shirt. She didn't see his wand anywhere on him, and therefore suspected it was hidden. For the first time, however, she saw him in short sleeves and the massive scar on his right arm.
She was polite enough not to stare.
Sirius was not.
"The basilisk?" he asked, pointing at it.
Harry nodded.
"I apologize on behalf of the Malfoy family," said Narcissa. "Lucius was a... Sirius, what was your colorful comment on him?"
"A twat."
"Yes, that will do."
Harry smirked.
"Let's get this dog and pony show on the road," said Sirius.
"Uncouth as ever, Sirius, but true enough. Mister Potter?"
Harry nodded, and followed them into the floo, calling out "Fudge's Office."
"Well, you two," began Etna. "Want to go help me injure Draco and teach Alessa how to play with knives?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, but nodded. Luna quickly joined them.
0x0x0x0
The Ministry was a madhouse.
Reporters were everywhere, Aurors were everywhere, and the laypeople of the Ministry itself were everywhere, all of them expecting Sirius Black, Narcissa Malfoy, and Harry Potter.
It was to their immense disappointment that the celebrities arrived chatting with the Minister himself via his private floo.
An even dozen Aurors were scattered around the room. While the trial wasn't open to the public due to security risks, reporters were invited, and were seated in a gallery with three aurors at the back and three more at the front.
"Not mucking around, are they?" asked Sirius, more to himself than anyone else.
"Not after the last trial," replied Narcissa.
Sirius nodded.
"Mister Black, if you would come to the floor?" asked one of the other Aurors. Sirius nodded, and followed the Auror to the chair in the center of the floor. No chains sprang from the chair, although Sirius sat, straight-backed, as though they would at any time.
Cornelius split off from Narcissa and Harry, heading up the steps onto the Judge's bench. A portly man in a suit missing a fair amount of his hair walked up to Narcissa. He seemed, to Harry, the antithesis of jovial. His face looked like someone had taken an iron to it, and pressed out all the wrinkles, as though the face was a parody of a human face, an ugly rubber mask found in a pound store. Harry wondered if it was the equivalent of a magical face lift, or if the man had just never made any facial expressions in his entire life.
"Mr. Whitaker," said Narcissa simply.
"Mrs. Malfoy," replied Mr. Whitaker with a small nod. He turned to look at Harry. "Mr. Potter."
Harry nodded, unsure of what to say. Mr. Whitaker turned and walked up the left side of the bench, and took a seat next to Cornelius.
"Your solicitor?" asked Harry.
"Barrister, actually. Solicitors deal in common law," replied Narcissa.
"Does he ever smile?"
"I am unsure if he knows how. Be aware that you will likely be called as a witness."
"Right. Anything I should do?"
"Yes. Avoid mentioning Sirius attempting to murder Snape when they question you about when you and Sirius met."
"Right," replied Harry, thinking about that night. "I can manage that. Any rules about lying?"
"Don't bother under Veritaserum."
Harry thought about it, and then arrived at a strange question. Would it even work on him? Etna said he was a demon now, not a human. Did that sort of potion work on demons? He'd have to ask. Best not to push his luck.
And on that note, what else had changed? What else was different about him?
He pushed those thoughts away, and instead began looking around the courtroom. The Wizengamot itself was seated on one side. Harry and Narcissa's side was decidedly empty, with two elderly men seated in the front row.
"Who are they?" Harry asked, motioning with his head.
"Reginald LeStrange, Rodolphus and Rabastan's father, and Tomas Rosier, Lucius's Uncle."
Harry nodded, and his eyes went back to the entrance to see two woman enter their side of the gallery, one older and one younger. Both of them had deep black hair that reminded Harry of Sirius's own hair, although one was older than the other. Both of them were dressed in plain black robes.
"Narcissa," said the older of the two woman.
"Andromeda," said Narcissa, motioning to a chair next to her.
"Harry," said the younger, taking a seat next to Harry.
Harry looked at her, before his eyes widened.
"Tonks?" he asked.
"In the plain flesh," replied Tonks. "Mum said I had to dress up nice and look normal for this. Wish I'd thought of dressing muggle for it, though."
"I own school robes, and that's it," replied Harry with a shrug. Etna equated robes to over-expensive kindling.
Tonks nodded in understanding, before she continued.
"Scuttlebutt in the department is that they want to recruit you right out of Hogwarts," said Tonks.
"I doubt I'll take it," replied Harry.
"Why not?"
"Hunting Dark Wizards for the rest of my life? No thanks, I'm hoping to be done with that once Voldemort is dead."
"It's for the good of the people," replied Tonks.
"Get back to me when the people can decide whether or not they like or hate me by flipping a coin."
"Eh, they'll stop when you kill Voldemort."
Harry rolled his eyes.
Narcissa and Andromeda had their own conversation.
"So you've switched sides," said Andromeda.
"Yes," replied Narcissa.
"And Bellatrix is really dead?"
"Yes."
"Ted will want to host dinner at some point," said Andromeda.
"It might be best to have him host at the end of the summer. I have someone working on Draco's manners, but I doubt he'll change within the next month."
Andromeda nodded.
"Though I suppose I do need someone to help teach my adopted daughter proper pureblood manners."
"Adopted daughter?" asked Andromeda. "You? Adopting someone? What family did they belong too?"
"Muggles, actually."
"Don't tell me you adopted Potter."
"No. I said daughter, and Potter is decidedly male. In any event, I'd much rather have him in my bed, but he is attached to someone at the moment."
"And she isn't willing to share?"
"She claims she is, but I think she's joking at best. She has a possessive streak. More importantly, though, Potter honestly does not wish to be shared."
"Sadly, you cannot have everything," commented Andromeda.
"It's most unfortunate. Why, I was telling my newly adopted daughter yesterday that we Malfoys couldn't purchase the entire Wizengamot."
"How terrible," agreed Andromeda.
"It is. It truly is," said Narcissa, shaking her head. "Theodore is a solicitor, correct?"
"Correct," replied Andromeda.
"And he works in both the muggle and magical spheres of influence?"
"Yes. Especially where they cross."
"Inform him I would like him on retainer. Lucius kept the services of Mortimer Avery. I suspect you are aware of who Mortimer's other master is. I wish to employ someone I can trust. I will need him on retainer to determine just what business Lucius kept, and which of those businesses should be disposed of."
"I suspect he will be... squeamish about such things."
"Muggleborn always are," replied Narcissa. "I shall endeavor to keep the more distasteful aspects of the business away from him."
"Thank you," replied Andromeda, as though it was a foregone conclusion her husband would work for her sister.
0x0x0x0
The trial, as Harry suspected it would be, was extraordinarily boring. It didn't help that Whitaker's voice made Binns sound like someone who was still alive.
It was also very different from his own trial after the Dementors, which made him extraordinarily annoyed. To the point where Tonks asked him if he was alright.
"I'm fine," he replied.
Tonks nodded, and then turned back to the proceedings.
It started with Whitaker questioning Sirius on the events of November 1st, 1981, with Sirius chasing down Peter and attempting to murder him. It also covered Sirius handing off a living and breathing Harry Potter to Rubeus Hagrid.
"Why isn't Hagrid here?" asked Harry.
"His testimony doesn't matter, since he was outed as a half-giant," replied Tonks. "Having his wand snapped just adds to that."
"Can't they undo that since Riddle framed him?"
"Yes, but they don't care because they don't see him as human. It's the same reason there aren't any full giants or Veela in England."
Harry nodded, annoyed, but turned back to the trial.
Sirius went through most of the sordid tale, skipping over how he broke out of Azkaban and being an illegal animagus himself.
Once Whitaker was done, it switched off to the Prosecution's Barrister, whom Harry recognized as that fat toad from the beginning of the year, Dolores Umbridge.
Half the questions she asked, Whitaker objected to, and better than half of them Fudge granted.
Sirius did not have to reveal he was an illegal animagus or how he escaped Azkaban, although he did have to reveal the existence of the Marauder's Map and the cave outside of Hogsmeade he hid in while he was searching Hogwarts for Peter.
When Umbridge demanded the map's confiscation, Sirius said it was made by James Potter, therefore it was a family heirloom in the hands of the appropriate heir, Harry Potter. Harry watched as Dolores seemed to attempt to have a stroke, and frowned when it didn't happen.
Sirius's cross-examination was wrapped up without many issues.
Whitaker called Harry to the stand, and questioned him about the two times he saw Sirius Black.
Harry answered easily, stating that both times Harry saw Sirius, he wasn't going for Harry. Instead, he was going for Ronald Weasley, who was keeping Peter Pettigrew as a pet rat.
"How long did the Weasleys have Pettigrew?" asked Mr. Whitaker.
"I don't know the exact amount of time, but Ron stated his older brother Percy found Peter in the garden before he went to Hogwarts. Given my third year was Percy's seventh year, that's at least seven years."
"And they never suspected anything?"
"No."
"Did you?"
"I never questioned it either. Then again, I've seen some strange applications of Notice-Me-Not charms."
Which got an objection from Umbridge, but Harry knew it affected the judges.
He then covered both incidents of Harry meeting Peter Pettigrew, both in the Shrieking Shack and at the Graveyard.
And then it was Umbridge's turn.
"According to the record, during the incident in your third year, you were confunded by Black."
"Objection, the prosecution needs to ask a question," came Mr. Whitaker's monotonous voice.
"Rephrase it as a question, Madam Umbridge," said Fudge.
"According to the records, you were confunded by Sirius Black. Is this correct?"
"According to Severus Snape, I was allegedly confunded," replied Harry.
"And you don't believe this?"
"Severus Snape was too busy salivating at the idea of having Sirius Black kissed by a dementor in front of him to bother with the truth, and was begging the Minister to be awarded an Order of Merlin for being the man to make it happen."
"And you don't believe a Hogwarts professor has your best interests in mind?"
"Severus Snape's hatred of my father is legendary. He has passed that hatred to myself, blaming me for being the son of a man I have never met."
"So Severus Snape's statements that you are nothing more than an attention seeking braggart and a liar aren't true?"
"No, Dolores," replied Harry. "After all, I must not tell lies, correct?"
Umbridge turned a rather amusing shade puce at that, but continued.
"You should treat me with respect, Mister Potter."
"I'll treat you with respect after you apologize for torturing me, Dolores," replied Harry.
Harry did everything in his power to not smile as he watched an artery in Umbridge's neck throb through the rolls of fat.
"I don't believe you answered my question," replied Umbridge.
"You asked a yes or no question, Dolores. I said no."
"Fine, then, Mister Potter. What makes you believe that Severus Snape hates you?"
"I could cite any time we are both in the same room," began Harry, thinking for a moment. "But I think, instead, I will cite something that truly explains the depths of Snape's hatred of anyone with the last name of Potter. Severus Snape gave information to Voldemort that directly led to the murder of my parents."
Umbridge's jaw flapped up and down a few times, as the blood drained from her face.
"And what proof do you have of that?" she asked.
"Albus Dumbledore himself confirmed it," replied Harry.
Umbridge swallowed, and realized she was digging her own grave when it came to Potter.
"No further questions," she added, before taking her seat next to Fudge. Fudge himself was sweating. "Further examination from Mr. Whitaker?"
"No," replied Whitaker.
The next witness was Yaxley, who was dragged in, chained to a chair, given Veritaserum, questioned by both Whitaker and Umbridge, and then dragged back out.
Harry paid little mind to the closing statements, just glad to once more be in the gallery. Narcissa leaned over to speak with him.
"Very good Harry. Perhaps over the top with Snape, but it was a very good lie," said Narcissa.
"None of it was a lie," replied Harry.
"I very much doubt that, Mister Potter."
"I don't lie."
"I have known Severus for a very long time, Mister Potter. He is not the sort."
"Then you can ask Dumbledore."
"I believe we will all be having a conversation, then," replied Narcissa.
"Fine."
Which was when Fudge called for a vote, and Sirius was declared innocent.
Author's Note: I'm not entirely sure if Narcissa's lines to Andromeda are serious or not. Lucius would be serious. I could see him whining about how the Wizengamot isn't in his pocket. Narcissa seems either/or.
And Sirius is free.
Also, please join me in laughing at all of the reviews I receive from people who state "Oh Noez! A Harry/Ginny story! Why isn't Harry with Etna?! I'm never reading this again!" I seem to get a rash of them every three or four chapters (or maybe it just feels that way?). The reviews are always anonymous, they're always whiny, and I always get a kick out of them. It tempts me into writing a long story that has Harry and Ginny getting together halfway through just to annoy the piss out of them.
Beta's note: Or... sounds like Omake time! Harry-Ginny: the One True Pairing!
Omake: The One True Pairing
perpetrated by Luan Mao (translation: Blame him. It's all his fault.)
Etna's nude body wriggled atop Harry's nude body. "Harry, you know I like you. It's not what a proper demon should be feeling, but I want you to be happy forever. And you know I'm going to have to go back someday soon."
Harry frowned and bounced her off him. "Way to kill the mood. But OK, let's talk about that. I was thinking I could come with you. I'm a half-demon now, so I'd fit in, right?"
Etna tried to kiss Harry for his thoughtfulness, but he was still annoyed and wouldn't let her. "Fine, be that way. And I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. This is your home dimension, so you have to stay here unless you're summoned. It's the same thing that'll make me go back once my job here is finished. Besides that, the Hell dimension isn't very pleasant. I don't think you'd be very happy, even if you were with my delectable self."
"So, what? We should just have a quick fling and wave goodbye when it's time for you to go?"
"Pretty much. Remember, I told you it was a fling, way back when I first kissed you."
"Well, that sucks."
"Pretty much. It's not all bad. We're going to live a long time. Maybe I'll get summoned back here sometime, or you'll get summoned to Hell, or we'll both get summoned somewhere else. Anyway, I want you to think about moving on. Think about what you want in a girlfriend. Someone just like me, someone just the opposite of me, whatever."
Over the next week Harry thought about what he wanted in his next girlfriend. Etna was definitely female, but rather flat. There was nothing wrong with curves, but the slim look was what he'd gotten used to. Etna was feisty and aggressive and always won in their disagreements and always manipulated him into doing what she wanted. Feisty was nice, but Harry wanted to be the one coming out on top. Etna hinted - if climbing on top of him naked was "hinting" - that she wanted sex. That was ... something Harry wanted, but not with someone he cared about. It would hurt too much to open himself that much and then see her leave. No, what would be best would be a girlfriend that he didn't care about but that he could have sex with. Put it all together and he wanted a feisty bimbo with a boyish figure, who meant nothing to him. Where could he find someone like that?
In due course, Harry vanquished Voldemort. Etna had just time to stick her tongue down Harry's throat before the summoning unraveled and pulled her back home.
Harry was saddened by the loss of his girlfriend, but he had made his plans. "Hey, Ginny, do you want to help me celebrate the victory?"