When I pull up to Spencer's later that night, I park my car about a block down so that her family won't see it, then walk the rest of the way to her house and toss a few acorns up at her window. This is the third night in a row that I've done this, so my aim's a little better by now.

Spencer kisses me the second she's sure she's gotten outside without her family noticing, and I'm so caught off-guard that I stumble backwards a little bit. I expected her to at least say something to me first.

It's silent outside except for the occasional cricket or owl and the sound of heavy breathing and that little popping noise you hear when two people break a kiss, and I have to admit that I really don't mind things this way, especially with the way Spencer has me pulled flush against her and her fingers are sliding up and down my back above my shirt in this possessive way that tells me the whole Sam thing bugged her more than she let on.

I'm up against the side of Spencer's house before I can figure out how she got me there, and I can feel a moan trying to escape me as Spencer's mouth leaves mine and she presses her lips to my neck, licking and sucking and even nibbling a little. There's this underlying aggressiveness in every move she's making and it's actually super sexy, since I've never seen Spencer like this before. I make a mental note to remind her to do this every night when I come over, because it's definitely a pleasant way to greet me.

Her hand slips under my shirt and I realize she doesn't intend to just make out with me for a couple of minutes. Really, Spencer? Against the side of your house?

Apparently, because Spencer's just unclasped my bra and pushed it out of the way and her hands all over my upper body, and it feels so good that I just can't think anymore.

We're lying out in the grass of Spencer's backyard with clothes beneath us half an hour later, and I'm pretty much naked, while Spencer's still hovering over me without a shirt on. She looks nervous when I finally manage to open my eyes, and she chews on her bottom lip while I try to get myself to start thinking clearly again. She's totally different now compared to how she was just a few minutes ago; more like the Spencer I'm used to. I always thought the first time Spencer touched me, she'd be all hesitant and uncertain and I'd have to guide her, but this wasn't like that at all. It was much better.

"Was I…was it okay?"

I smile up at her and grab her left hand, the one that wasn't just between my legs, and kiss all of her fingertips gently before lacing our fingers together. "The best," I tell her, and even in the dark I can see her blushing.

"You're just saying that."

"I'm not," I insist quietly, closing my eyes again as the ache I can still feel settles down to a dull throb. I pull the hand I'm still holding up to my chest and let Spencer's palm rest over my heart, which is still pounding quickly because I'm definitely ready for round two. "See? Feel."

"Okay," Spencer agrees with a giggle, and it doesn't take long for me figure out why she's laughing, because a second later her hand slips downwards and squeezes my boob instead. I'm not sure what kind of reaction she was expecting, but it was most certainly not for me to moan and push forward into her hand. My breathing's still labored by the time her smile has faded and we're both just staring at each other. After a moment, I clear my throat.

"It's kind of cold out here."

Spencer's blush is back in a second because I've reminded her that I'm naked, and she scrambles off of me quickly, looking around for her shirt while I sit up and look around to make sure nobody saw us. I have to admit that I didn't expect this to be where I'd feel Spencer inside of me for the first time, but the fact that the whole thing was completely spontaneous is kind of a turn-on.

"You should jump me more often," I tell her as I'm tugging my shirt back on. Spencer's watching me, already fully dressed. She looks like my suggestion embarrasses her.

"I don't normally do stuff like that," she admits shyly.

"I know," I remind her, a little upset because now I'm trying not to think of all the other people that got a chance to have sex with Spencer before I did.

I wonder if it's hard for Spencer to not think those same kinds of thoughts about all the people I've slept with, too.

"Okay, so not dating you really isn't working out for me," I tell Spencer in the middle of lunch one day, right in front of Kyla and Aiden, who look amused at my confession. "How much longer are we doing this?"

"Just until prom," Spencer replies. "Which reminds me…" She turns to Kyla. "…I was wondering if I could borrow your boutonnière, just for show. Because of my mom."

"Her what?" I repeat, raising an eyebrow.

"It's the thing girls pin onto guys' tuxes before prom," Kyla elaborates. "And sure, you can borrow it, Spencer, as long as I get to take it off once we're in the limo and put it back on myself."

"Does that mean I'm going to have to put a corsage on Spencer?" Aiden asks through a mouthful of food, and I wince, cringing away from the spray as Kyla nods at him.

"So anyway," I say, changing subjects as I turn back to Spencer. "Enough about prom. What's Glen been like these past couple weeks?"

"Suspicious," Spencer replies easily. "But he knows the first thing I do every morning is go straight to school, and then I come straight home and spend every afternoon under his watch until we go to bed. And I haven't been out on weekends, either, except for when he let me go with Kyla to get a dress for prom. So there's really no time for us to be hanging out without him realizing it. As far as he knows, anyway."

"What are you two doing, exactly?" Kyla asks us curiously. "I'm pretty sure Ashley would have holed herself up in her room and spent the past two and a half weeks crying if you actually stopped seeing each other."

"I sneak out every night after you fall asleep," I tell her quietly, unable to keep the smugness out of my tone. I'm choosing to ignore her statement, mostly because it's the truth.

"We're losing a lot of sleep, but it's worth it," Spencer adds, smothering a yawn at that moment for emphasis. "The only downside is that I'm usually a morning person, so I have to act all perky for Glen all the time."

I look over at her incredulously. "Spencer, you are so not a morning person."

"Sure I am," Spencer retorts, raising an eyebrow. "I was up before you almost every morning back when you were staying with us."

"Yeah, but what about when you stayed over at my house and I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't-"

"That was different," Spencer cuts in quickly, and I can tell she's fighting off a blush. I smirk at her. "And you know it."

Aiden and Kyla pretend like they're not listening to our conversation, and Spencer raises an eyebrow at me as I glance around the lunchroom. Nobody's looking at us as far as I can tell, so I walk my fingers up Spencer's arm flirtatiously, watching her eyebrow arch up even higher. "Mind if I come over tonight?" I ask her quietly.

"You come over every night whether you ask or not," she points out, glancing down at my hand and then at the people closest to us, like she's afraid they're going to see us. We haven't shown any affection in public in what feels like forever, though, and Glen's probably too stupid to actually catch us anyway, so I lean forward and press my lips to Spencer's lightly, surprising her. She kisses back for about a millisecond, then pushes me away, and I have to admit that it hurts my feelings a little bit. "Ash, not here."

I sigh. "Nobody's probably even watching us," I tell her, but I turn back to my food anyway. After a few minutes of silence, I rest my hand on the bench, between Spencer and me, then slowly start to slide it over towards Spencer. The second it touches her thigh, though, she slaps it away, and I have to withdraw it quickly and cradle it to my body. "Ow!"

"Not here," Spencer replies emphatically, shooting me a significant look, and I stick my tongue out at her, feeling playful. I can totally win this game.

"Pleeeeease?" I murmur, letting my lips brush against her ear, and Spencer blushes, but doesn't slap my hand away again when I slide it onto her thigh. "…I can do that thing you like tonight…"

"I have to go to the bathroom," Spencer says quickly, standing up all of a sudden and hurrying from the lunchroom before she can succumb to my almighty flirting powers.

"I don't get why you do that to her," Kyla sighs out, rolling her eyes at me while I smirk back at her. Aiden's busy wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth. "Aiden and I don't find it that hard to keep our hands off of each other."

"Because you can hang out and have sex whenever you want. Plus, my time with Spencer is limited with her going to that college, and the only time I have to spend alone with her is at midnight every night. You'd be all over each other, too." I stand up and wave goodbye to them, pushing both my tray and Spencer's towards them in a silent message to put them up for us. "Now if you don't mind, I have to go find Spencer. Kyla, tell Mrs. Yorke that Spencer and I are going to be a little late for class today, kay?"

"You're so gross," Kyla replies, wrinkling her nose at me, but I just roll my eyes and head off to go find that bathroom.

I'm sitting with Spencer in the grass later that night, just holding hands with her and letting her rest her head on my shoulder, when she points out, "We've progressed to the bathroom stage."

I wince, turning to look down at what part of her face I can see. "At least it was only making out."

Spencer squeezes my hand. "Yeah. Is it still different?"

"I still love you. I didn't love them."

Spencer's silent for a moment, and I chew on my bottom lip anxiously. "Out here under the stars is nice and all, but I want to wait until we have a bed to do it again."

"Okay," I agree immediately. "I'm renting a room for prom night. Do you think we could get away with it?"

Spencer lets out a small laugh. "Maybe. My dad will know exactly what's going on, but it's hard to say whether or not he'll approve. Mom should be cool with it, though, as long as she thinks I'm going off and having sex with a guy."

I laugh, too. "That's so awful."

"She's so awful."

"She would give my mom a run for her money," I agree. "Like a 'Worst Mom Ever' Olympics."

"Event one: insulting your daughter," Spencer adds on. "Irresponsible."

I let out a quiet sigh, hoping Spencer can't hear it. "I can top that. Dyke."

"She said that to you?" Spencer asks incredulously.

"Yeah. When she first found out." I pause. "Is it okay if I don't let you meet her?"

"Yeah," Spencer agrees, nodding with her head still on my shoulder. She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, then finally comes up with, "Immature."

"Stupid," I offer dryly.

"Lazy."

"Spoiled brat."

"…Stubborn."

I smile. "You are stubborn."

"It's still an insult," Spencer defends.

"Alright. Um…slut."

"You're not a slut," she says softly.

"Not anymore."

"No, not ever." Spencer sits up and smiles at me, then kisses me gently for a moment. "You just needed someone to straighten you out."

"Interesting choice of words," I reply, raising an eyebrow, and Spencer's eyes twinkle with amusement as she leans in to kiss me again.

We've had sex out here a few times in the past three weeks, but this isn't one of those kinds of kisses, where we both know that that's where it's going. It's just soft and sweet and I don't want it to end.

But it does. Because someone has walked around to the side of Spencer's house and is shining an extremely bright flashlight right into our faces. My heart starts going double-time as Spencer and I hastily pull away from each other and raise our hands to cover our faces.

Don't be Paula. Please don't be Paula. Not with just a little over a week left until Spencer turns eighteen.

"I knew it. I fucking knew it. I knew you two had to be doing something behind my back." I recognize Glen's voice before he shuts the flashlight off so I can actually see him, and before me and Spencer have time to recover, he's marched over to us and pulled Spencer to her feet, grasping her wrist tightly and drawing her to him so forcefully that it scares both of us a little. "That's it. I'm telling mom. You're done."

"Let go of her!" I order, storming over to them and prying his hand off of Spencer's before he can stop me, but instead of letting me tug her away from him, Spencer's right back in front of Glen again, trying to reason with him.

"Please don't, Glen, I'm telling her right after I turn eighteen anyway," she says, completely calm now, and I'm surprised by her tone at first, but then I realize that recently Spencer hasn't seemed too freaked out about her mom actually finding out. She just hasn't wanted Glen to be the one to tell.

"No you're not," Glen retorts immediately, and Spencer crosses her arms at that.

"Yes, I am. I want to be the one to tell her, and if you're going to do it right now, then go ahead and let me know, because I'll do it instead."

Glen works his jaw back and forth furiously for a moment, then chucks the flashlight at a nearby tree without warning in what I think is an attempt to rid himself of some anger. It hits the tree and breaks, but nobody flinches. We stand here in silence for over a minute while Spencer and I wait for him to reply, and the cogs are turning in my head even though I'm not sure what Spencer's thinking right now.

"You weren't actually going to tell, were you?" I say before I can stop myself, and both Carlins are immediately focused on me. Glen is stammering out an answer, suddenly embarrassed, and I cross my arms smugly. "You're all talk."

"You two can't do this," he snaps all of a sudden. "Look. I've been working my ass off trying to keep our family together, and you know it, Spencer. Mom and Dad are arguing about Ashley constantly, Mom's freaking out because your best friend's gay, you're sneaking out all the time, and I'm not even talking about the nightly outings you two have apparently been going on…"

"This was the first one," Spencer lies smoothly.

"It doesn't matter." He points at me accusingly. "She's the problem. I'm fixing it. You can't be friends with her anymore, Spencer, and you definitely aren't allowed to date her."

"It's not that simple, Glen. I'm in love with her."

"No. Okay? You say that all the fucking time, and I'm sick of it. She's a girl and you're a girl and you're not in love with her."

"Um…I think she just said that she was…" I cut in, but Spencer shoots me a look that tells me this is between her and Glen, and I back away a bit sheepishly.

"Look. I'm sorry if this is hard for you to…to accept, or understand, but Ashley's not going anywhere, Glen."

"So that's it, then?" Glen asks flatly, gesturing towards me with one hand. "You're going to be gay."

"It's not a choice."

"I have a gay sister," he continues, ignoring Spencer's comment.

"Are you ashamed of that?" she questions, and Glen glares at her like what she's asking is ridiculous.

"I don't give a shit about what you want to do with your life. Just don't screw up mine. If you want to go against everything we've grown up learning, and compromise all of your morals, then whatever. Have fun getting kicked out by mom in a week or two. And don't expect me to be there for you when you realize you took a friendship with some screwed-up chick too far and made out with her a couple times."

Spencer's eyebrows furrow, and she says, "Dad and Clay were fine with this, you know. I don't see what your problem is."

That startles him out of being angry for a moment, and Glen's quiet for a while. "…Dad and Clay know?"

"I thought you knew that. You kept threatening to just tell Mom, so…"

Glen sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Because I figured she'd be the angriest, but…how long has Dad known?"

"Two months. Maybe longer."

Spencer's told me before that the only person Glen looks up to more than Paula is Arthur, so it doesn't surprise me when this completely throws him for a loop. "…And he's okay with it?"

"You've heard him defending Ashley," Spencer points out. "He knows how much I care about her." She pauses, and then adds, "You don't have to like it, but this is who I am now. I'm sorry if you feel like you have to fix me before Mom finds out, but the fact is, I am going to tell her, she is probably going to kick me out, and then I'm planning on living with Ashley for the summer whether Mom kicks me out or not. Then I'll go to college, and if anyone asks, I'm going to tell them I'm into girls, because I am. You can't do anything to change it, and neither can anyone else." She takes a deep breath. "And Ash is not a problem, so don't talk about her like she's something you have to fix or get rid of."

Glen's eyes are closed now, like he's trying to calmly take all of this in. "Did he ever say why he was okay with it?"

"He never gave me a specific reason, if that's what you mean…but maybe you could talk to him about it. Without including Mom," Spencer suggests.

"I don't understand this," Glen blurts out suddenly, his eyes darting back and forth between us. "I could never fall in love with a guy."

"Then you know how I feel," Spencer points out, smiling brightly, and Glen tries to keep his face stoic, but I can see the corners of his lips fighting to upturn.

"So…like, if all my guy friends are busy and I need to talk about hot chicks with someone…"

"I'm right here," Spencer finishes lightly, and I can't suppress a snicker. She glances at me briefly, winking, and Glen eyes her curiously for another moment. "And Ash can teach you how to become the master of one-night stands."

"Hey!" I interrupt, even though I know she's kidding. "I've probably forgotten most of the tricks by now, anyway."

Glen looks me up and down for a moment while Spencer laughs, and then points in a random direction and commands, "Alright, go home. I need time to let this sink in, and if I catch you here again after midnight, I'm seriously going to tell our mom."

"Can I kiss Spencer goodnight?" I ask, majorly testing my luck.

"Absolutely not. You're lucky you aren't already dead."

"Bye," I reply quickly, giving Spencer a quick wave and then hurrying towards the road so I can walk the block to my car.

I spend the drive home wondering if Spencer seriously expects me to teach Glen how to get chicks.