Welcome to the wonderful world that is the end of Part 3. After the intensity of the last chapter, this chapter is the lovely aftermath. Plus, it sets the pace for Part 4.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter Thirty-Five: Awakenings and Epiphanies
The whereabouts of the Black Jade weren't the problem everyone thought they would be.
After Long Feng's body was hauled away to a proper burial, the remaining members of the Black Jade seemed to slip away from the battle field, unheard and unseen.
Though a search party was sent out to clear out the rest of the underground units, when they arrived there the Black Jade was gone. The insides were stripped of all their interior and the people left no trace of them being there. Only the forgotten tunnels that channeled underneath a good portion of the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation and the sparse glowing candles were blown out before the search party left, but not before they read the small note at the main entrance at Lake Laogai:
The Jade is dead…
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Zuko had been badly burned on multiple spots on his body.
The scar on his face had been re-opened, and his chest and arms were marked with other permanent scars as well. Mai stayed by her husband's side for the week and a half he was in a coma after suffering Azula's brainwashed bombardments of fire blasts. And when he awoke, he couldn't recollect anything past him seeing Azula walking up to him.
He woke up in a sudden jump up, breathing heavily and sweat running down his face.
"Azula!" He screamed.
"Zuko?" Mai woke up from a light sleep at his bedside. "Zuko!" She cried out happily and hugged him. He squinted underneath her at the sudden pain of any contact on his tender body. But as he looked around he realized he wasn't in the throne room anymore.
"Mai?" He said, finally calming down.
"I'm here," Mai reassured him, picking up his right hand and stroking it against her cheek lovingly.
"Where's Azula?" He asked her slowly, still looking around and finally realized that he was in the infirmary within the palace.
"She's somewhere around here…" Mai answered, turning her head towards the door. "She's been kind of to herself lately."
"To herself?" Zuko echoed. "….So she's okay?"
"Yeah….physically anyway. Mentally, I don't think she is, though." Mai explained, her features notably falling.
"Mai?"
"Yeah?"
"What happened?" Zuko asked. "Last thing I remember was that Long Feng guy had her brainwashed…and then she came towards me with this look in her eyes…."
"Long Feng's dead." Mai explained.
"What?" Zuko exclaimed, sitting up fully and wincing at the sharpness in his back. Mai tended to him before she did anything else. Immediately pushing him gingerly back down into the crush of pillows and smoothed some of his hair from out of his eyes.
"She killed him."
"What?" He tried to sit up again, but Mai placed a firm hand on his chest to restrict him. All Mai did was nod. "Azula actually killed Long Feng?"
"Yeah…she did. She thought you were dead, and he also killed Joo Dee…she just kind of snapped and killed him right there."
"She killed him because of me…?' Zuko trailed, a small smile tugging at his lips. He knew that killing anyone was a terrible thing, but he couldn't help but feel a little happy that his sister went to such great depths for him. He never knew that a loving sister was really somewhere inside of her.
"Yeah…she did." Mai answered. "You know…I think she really cares about you."
"I know…it is kind of weird, though, actually having a sister who's, you know, like a sister."
"Well, since my little brother's just a baby, I guess I wouldn't know."
"So, how's her memory?" Zuko asked as well. All the talk of the newly changed Azula only reminded him that she didn't have 50% of her memories. Though she did gain new ones frequently, it was hard to gain a whole fourteen years of life within a month or two.
"She's seemed to have gained a lot when she was under Long Feng's control, but she still gaining some, mostly the current ones. Her violent side is apparently coming back…and so is her attitude. But the old Azula is far from here, trust me." All Zuko could do was nod. "But," Mai mentioned, a desire glowing noticeably within her eyes. "I'm glad you're back."
Zuko picked up on the mood, smiling a little while Mai bent over for the kiss they were both fishing for. But when she dared to become a little more adventurous, Zuko's body immediately contradicted himself. Though the lust within him was there, his body still told him that he was unable to do what he wanted. He pushed Mai gently up from him, and smiled at her. She knew that he was still seriously hurt, and sex was the last thing he needed after just waking up from almost a two week coma.
Spooning would have to do for the moment.
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Though the Kyoshi Warriors decided to go back to Ba Sing Si to be with their leader, Aang, Katara, Toph, and Yuexi stayed at the palace to be there for Zuko. And Jojo, after healing enough from her injury, decided to set out on her own, though Mai offered her to stay with them in the palace Jojo opted against it, saying she needed to right some of her own wrongs and go with the search party to make sure that the Black Jade really was as dead as they said.
At the moment of hearing about Zuko awakening, Aang, Katara, Toph, and Yuexi decided that giving Zuko some alone time with his wife was probably best.
"I highly doubt they'll be doing anything." Toph blurted rashly when Aang expressed his want to go and talk to Zuko, but decided against it. "Zuko's can't even bathe himself…what makes you think they'll be doing it?"
"Just a thought…" Aang said, a little annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. "I think Azula should talk to him, though."
"Well someone should break her out of her little emotional corner." Toph said. "She's barely said a word since we've been here."
"Unless you count 'go away'" Katara added as well, and made sure to snuggle against Aang while the subject was on Azula.
"Hey, Aang," Yuexi suddenly said, leaning over Toph to look at Aang directly. "Why don't you go tell her Zuko's awake?" Aang gave him a classic 'don't go there' look but he was stuck when Toph openly agreed that he should.
Aang just sighed. It was true that Toph was definitely starting to rub off on Yuexi. But, he really wished he wasn't always on the spot when it came to her. He knew he wasn't doing anything wrong, and he knew that after his talk with Katara that night that she trusted him, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell in every eye roll and long sigh whenever Azula wiggled into the conversation that Katara wasn't pleased about the whole situation in general. And he didn't blame her, if it was upsetting to him he couldn't even imagine how upsetting it was to her for her to feel like she had competition with….Azula.
All and all, though, he was the only one who could really talk to Azula other than Zuko and Mai—who were both, ironically, out of service for the moment—and she's actually be willing to answer back to them. He stood.
"I'll just go tell her that Zuko's awake." He said, looking over to Katara especially and bent over to kiss her lips. "I'll be back for dinner."
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Azula hadn't moved much since she had murdered Long Feng.
It was an understatement to say she did it on a whim, and—though she constantly beat herself up about it—she really wasn't thinking as clearly as she usually did. Seeing Suzu Ni dead and seeing Zuko the way he was that day fired her core and made her turn all of her anger on Long Feng.
Though it wasn't the fact that Long Feng was dead that bothered her. It was the fact that she was the one who killed him.
She didn't know exactly how the old Azula would've operated in that situation, but she didn't recall any moment—within the memories that she had—in which the old Azula actually killed someone.
She remembered how Long Feng looked when he was hurled—dead—out of the throne room. Suzu Ni right behind him, and an unconscious Zuko last, Mai crying over him and holding his hand all the way to the infirmary.
Azula had rejected every chance she had to see Zuko; she didn't want to see what she had put him through, even if she was under Long Feng's control. She made it her mission to be as far away from the jumble of business going on about the whole outcome as humanly possible and that only resulted in her being locked in her room. It wasn't that she wanted to be mean to the others and constantly shoo them away whenever they came and asked her if she was alright, but she just wanted to be alone.
Killing someone, even someone like Long Feng, was pretty hard to deal with. Maybe not for the old Azula, but definitely for this Azula.
Being in her old room though—back in the palace—was slightly creepy. The energy within was making her feel oddly nostalgic. She remembered something…being in the room right before her coronation and seeing her mother in her mirror. She looked over at the mirror, only seeing the wall in its reflection.
It feels good doesn't it?
The voice rang in her head. Her voice. Her old voice.
It happened while she was sleeping the night after she killed Long Feng. After staying up for many hours in fear of going to bed after killing someone in cold blood, she finally was rocked to sleep, only to be plagued by her own voice somewhere deep within her mind.
It felt good didn't it? The voice asked her that night. Getting back at your enemies? Getting what you wanted?
What are you talking about? Azula asked that night.
You wanted Long Feng gone, and you got what you wanted…just like a princess should.
I don't feel like a princess….
You should….and you are….
That night haunted her. Her old self had resurfaced and she couldn't say that she was surprised. She was waiting for the moment where the actions of her old self would come through her body. And a whipped out and controlled brain was exactly what the old her needed to come back. She wasn't thinking, and her body was being used as a puppet, but her brain was quiet. So the old Azula finally slipped back in.
And made her kill.
And now she was back, talking to her.
But if she had learned anything from this experience it was that a flood of new memories came in from her brain being out of order whenever Long Feng controlled it. She had most of her memories back and one thing that she could see very clearly was that she played a role in the old Azula's life bigger than she thought.
What feels good? Azula asked, feeling a chill go through her whenever her old voice echoed through her ears. Just the sound of the Old Azula's voice was unsettling to her. It was filled to the rim with unspoken plans of evil and revenge, wanting out and wanting to regain control of her own body.
Being in our room…feeling what it was like?
Not at all, Azula answered truthfully. I feel out of place. I don't belong here anymore.
You're such a fool…how do we share a body?
Because I'm everything you locked away when you were little. Azula told herself. I'm all the good you have but never let out.
Very impressive, I see you've remembered quite a lot haven't you?
I have, Azula smiled, and now you're the one who's locked. And I'm not letting you out.
We'll see about that, I've been sneaking out in small installments. The old Azula snickered. I'll be back sooner than you think, and worse part is, you won't even realize it until it's too late.
I won't let you….I've been with you all your life, telling you right from wrong and trying to help you not turn into the mess you are today. But you still locked me away…how does it feel Azula? To be on the other end?
You see….She could almost hear the old Azula smirking. Maniacal questions, wanting to prove me wrong…you're turning into me already….
Shut up!
You can't ignore the inevitable…good or not, you're still me, and this is still my body.
SHUT UP!
You may be my conscience, but you're not the owner of my body….
I am if I can make this body better, instead of it being some menace to society.
I will be in control sooner than you think…The old Azula told her.
And I will lock you away for good and not allow you to soil this body anymore than you already have.
Another knock on the door flung her from her thoughts once again.
This isn't over….the old Azula whispered before fading away as she always did. She was coming more and more frequently, but she never stayed at the surface for so long.
Exhaling heavily Azula turned towards the door, the knocking still continuing as she tried to put herself back together from the emotional stress that came from talking to her old self.
"Geez," she muttered under her breath. "No, I'm not hungry!" She called to the door, figuring it was another one of Mai's attempts to get her to eat and buried herself under her covers.
"This isn't a food call." Aang called from the hallway. Azula's head popped up from the pillows as soon as Aang's voice penetrated her fog of thoughts and annoyance. "Can I come in?" He asked, and didn't wait for her answer before he opened the door, closing it quietly and slowly behind him.
The air within Azula's room was musty and pungent. It was only a kind of smell that could match with the word unsettling. He could feel the weight of her emotions and the depths of her sadness and confusion as soon as he got a good sniff.
"So if it's not about my health that what is it?" Azula asked, a hint of sarcasm within her voice. And Aang couldn't help but notice that she wasn't meeting his eyes as if her life depended on it.
She hadn't really seen Aang since the moment of the killing in the throne room. She didn't look at him as she walked back to tell Suzu Ni that she was free, but she was pretty sure the look on his face wasn't one she wanted to see. Especially after their last conversation.
She didn't really want to be around Aang at the moment. She knew that her feelings for him weren't exactly the most comfortable for him, and that she was causing problems for him and Katara. So she thought the distance was for the better.
But of course, he always had to be so damn noble.
"Your brother's awake." Aang mentioned, sitting on the foot of her bed. Her eyes widened tremendously. Zuko had been out cold for almost two weeks, and though he was healing, him not waking up for so long wasn't exactly good news.
But now he was awake…so she really had no reason to avoid him anymore.
"You can't avoid seeing him forever…" Aang told her, as if reading her mind. She had to double take for a moment. She was pretty sure that Avatar's couldn't read minds.
"How about you mind your own business?" Azula snipped at him, her annoyance in not wanting to see anyone taking over her mouth. She saw Aang's face fall slightly and he got up to leave. "Wait!" Azula called. "I'm sorry…"
"S'okay," Aang shrugged. "I know it must be hard for you…after what happened."
"No," She sighed. "I mean for coming between you and Katara…It was wrong of me to feel that way about you."
Aang chuckled a little and reclaimed his spot at the foot of her bed. "You can't help how you feel about someone…trust me, I know…it's just-"
"No Aang," Azula cut him off. "I don't think you get it." She continued. "I've been thinking a lot and well….I guess what I felt for you wasn't really what I thought it was."
"It wasn't?" He curved a brow up.
"Well….don't get me wrong, I really like you…but I think it was the attention that I liked the most."
"I'm not….really understanding." Aang said slowly.
"Well…we've gotten really close since we had to go undercover, and I liked talking to you and having you around…and I didn't really want to share you, especially when Katara came, I felt like I didn't have all your attention anymore, you know?"
"We'll always be friends, Azula…you don't have to worry about that." Aang told her with his wonderful smile.
"I know…I just…I need someone who's going to be there for me all the time. And I guess Katara got there first."
"It's just that I love her…and I'm kind of in hot water with her right now." Aang explained.
"Because of me?"
"Because of the situation." He corrected her. "I could've handled it a lot better…" He looked to his side, blushing a little in embarrassment.
"Do you think I should talk to her for you?"
"Uh…I think that would do more harm than good right now."
"Then…I guess my original plan can commence?"
"Original plan?" Aang asked.
"Yeah….I'm going to go find Tin Ri." Azula admitted haphazardly.
"What?" Aang exclaimed.
"I'm going to go find Tin Ri…it's just something I need to do." Azula had been contemplating on the notion for a while—even before the Black Jade ordeal—but now that the old her was resurfacing she figured that Tin Ri was exactly what she needed. Tin Ri had known the old and new Azula. Maybe he would calm her stormy old self?
It took Aang a minute to calm down before he looked up at her again.
"Are you taking anyone with you? Mai maybe?" He asked, suddenly sounding like a concerned father. Azula just shook her head, her short and free hair following her movements in a tight swirl around her facial features.
"Nope. I need to find him on my own."
"Are you sure you're going to be alright by yourself…I mean, you don't seen very…uh…"
"I know," Azula finished for him. "I know I'm still kind of unstable, but I have to do this alone, I just have to."
Aang sighed. "If you're sure."
"I'm sure." As Azula said this, she flipped the covers off her bed up and proceeded to get out of bed. She opened her wardrobe and looked inside at her many outfits from back when she was a princess….they would be pretty useless on her journey.
"Wait." Aang said. "You're leaving right now?"
"Yeah," Azula answered simply. "I figure now is a good a time as any…Tin Ri could be anywhere by now."
"Alright, alright…"Aang said, holding up his hands in a mock surrender as he stood. "But before you leave can you promise me something?"
Azula's head turned away from her wardrobe to face him with and oddly cute confused face.
"Talk to your brother before you leave." He said with a laugh as he closed the door behind him.
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Azula was going to leave without seeing Zuko, but just couldn't bring herself to disappoint Aang. With her single bag packed with a change of clothes and other necessities for a walking travel she stopped by the infirmary. Taking a soft and heavy breath before opening the door she was surprised to find that Mai was coming out of the door.
"Azula?" She said, thoroughly surprised that she had run into her. She had been trying to get Azula out of her room for days, but she refused to budge. Then all of a sudden she saw her in front of her brother's infirmary room, dressed as if she was going somewhere. "What are you doing here?"
"I promised Aang I'd see Zuko before I left."
"Left?"
"I'm going to go find Tin Ri." She confessed dryly.
"You're back to Tin Ri, now?" Mai said, smiling a little smugly.
"What do you mean 'back to Tin Ri'?" Azula corked a brow. "Back to what?"
"Back to liking him…" Mai concluded and Azula rolled her eyes.
"Look, I just feel like I need to get away from all of this for a little while. And I'm tired of worrying about if Tin Ri is alright or not. I want to know, and I'm never going to do that sitting up in here. Plus, he's the only one who can help me through this…"
"What about Aang?" Mai smiled again.
"What about him..?"
"You liked him too, right?" Mai was surprised when Aang first told her about his little issue with Azula, and she promised she'd keep it to herself, but she didn't see the harm in Azula knowing that she knew.
"Well….I suppose…" Azula looked everywhere but at Mai, fiddling with the ends of her hair.
"What ever happened to 'I can't even think about love right now'?" Mai tried to copy how sweet Azula sounded when she uttered those words that night when Katara, Toph, and Yuexi first came.
"Well, that was before I felt like I had to fight for Aang's attention." Azula answered truthfully with a shrug. Mai sighed heavily, feeling more and more like Azula's mother than her friend everyday she was with this 'new Azula'. "Now can I go see my brother?" Azula asked after another minute of the two girls standing in awkward silence. Mai uttered nothing while she moved out of Azula's way and Azula offered Mai a careful smile when she entered the infirmary, her bag slug so fittingly over her shoulder.
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Zuko seemed still when Azula entered. As she placed her backpack down at the front of the door she went over to the side of her brother's bed and placed a gentle hand on his forehead. There was a light perspiration amidst his brow that she brushed away with her thumb lightly before smiling a little to herself. The smile was soon replaced with a tight frown when she looked a little more downwards and saw the bandages on Zuko's body. She dreaded to see what the actually wounds were like…the wounds she put there while she cannonaded him with fire blasts despite his cries for mercy.
She covered her mouth before she choked out a dry sob and collected her bag before running out the door. She was hit by Katara, though, as she made her way out the door. The contact of hitting Katara when she didn't see her made Azula fall back and hit her spine on the closed door of Zuko's infirmary behind her.
"Uh…" Azula mumbled, a slight gasp in the back of her throat, when she looked up from the ground she had slide down to ease the pain of the impact to the door to see Katara. Katara was silent for a few moments while she just stared down at Azula firmly before kicking her legs in a light step to the side, not bothering to help Azula up.
"I remember the first time I saw Aang all bandaged up." Katara said in a smaller voice than Azula anticipated. But she not dare say anything. She just looked up at Katara, seeming scared a little bit at seeing the water bender. "It was really hard to see him with scars that I felt like I could've prevented him from getting." Katara finally cut her vision over to Azula. 'You remember that day don't you?"
"What day?"
"The day you killed Aang?" Katara said bitingly but still calmly.
"W-what?"
"In the crystal catacombs of Ba Sing Si," Katara continued. "You struck him with lightning to kill him…he still has the scars on his foot and back because of that, and probably always will."
"If you're trying to make me feel like dirt then congratulations….I feel horrible, I can't even see my own brother because of what I've done, and now I'm learning I gave Aang fatal wounds too!"
Katara's eyes softened slightly at the broken down princess.
"You have a chance to right your own wrongs Azula, most people don't get the advantage of having a clean slate."
"I don't feel like I'm at an advantage." Azula said truthfully, burying her head in her hands.
"But you are….but you can't use it if you keep running away from everything." Katara reached a hand to help Azula up, and Azula accepted it gratefully.
"I have to be ready before I do anything, though." Azula told her. She looked behind heart Zuko's door. "Tell my brother I'm sorry and that I'll be back to see him soon." Azula walked past Katara at that moment, not meeting her eyes until she turned around with one last thing unsaid on her lips.
"And, I'm sorry about what I did, too." She told her. "But don't be angry with Aang."
"I'm not angry at him…" Katara answered dryly, a dead serious look in her eyes that made Azula gulp a little.
"Good."
"Go on your journey, Azula….I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Me too."
And with that, Azula left the Fire Nation capital palace without saying good bye. The reason of her journey was known by enough people that it wouldn't be out of the norm for anyone else who found out.
With two personalities inside her, and on a determined mission to find the only one who knew them both, Azula left with high hopes but not the optimism to back it up.
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Aang and Katara were taking every chance they had to be together at night while Sokka wasn't around. Aang decided to spend that night with Katara. Nothing particularly hot was on his mind, just spending a quiet evening with his girlfriend.
When she came out of the washroom after Aang, Katara sat down next to him in the bed. Aang smiled and immediately wrapped his arms around Katara's shoulders, inhaling the sweet scent of her damp hair. He nuzzled his lips further to place a soft kiss on her neck, and in turned, brought them both down so they were facing each other on the bed.
But Katara didn't seem that invested in it. Not a sound of enjoyment or anything came from her, and after a while Aang pulled back and gave her a worried look.
"What?" He asked. "Am I not doing it right?" Aang pulled back further so he could look at her completely. She was just fiddling with Aang's sleeping shirt, not looking into his eyes.
"Azula's gone…."
"I know, that's a good thing right?" Aang asked her.
"You tell me…."
"Katara please," Aang sighed. "I'm begging you to let this go. I love you not Azula."
Katara didn't look up.
"Katara why won't you believe me….how can I prove it to you?"
"I do….I just don't like this. Feeling like I have competition."
"You think I like it either?"
She finally looked up.
"No…."
"Then let's just move on," he told her, kissing her ear carefully. "And for the record, there's no competition for you…trust me. I don't want anyone else." Katara finally smiled at her boyfriend. Azula was gone to find Tin Ri and the awkwardness could finally fade. She rewarded him with a chaste kiss before smiling gratefully at him.
"So is everything finally good?" Aang asked. "Cause you keep saying you're fine but then it still bothers you."
"I'm never going to be okay with other people liking you, Aang. But, I guess I'm going to have to tone down the jealously and trust that you're not going to just get up and leave me for the first other girl that shows you interest."
"Well, I definitely wouldn't do that." Aang emphasized and the two laughed before Katara leaned her head against his chest, feeling good.
"Neither would I….you're stuck with me Aang."
"I wouldn't have it any other way…"
And with Aang's plans of things not getting too hot that night failed.
As he kissed his girlfriend with all the love and adoration he felt for her venting out of him, in the back of his mind while he ran his hands up and down Katara's body he promised himself he'd prove to her how much he really loved her…someway or somehow, he would.
Alright guys, part 3 is over! Part 4 will be returning on October 15th.
But before I answer all of you guy's lovely reviews I'm sure you all want to know what the heck will be happening in Part 4.
The Black Jade is dispersed so that plot line is over, but the characters are still having issues. A lot of characters will be meeting all kinds of obstacles within the next part. Love is on steroids and so is confliction, progressions in technology, a shocking death, and….someone's got an illness that you won't believe. It's all in part 4, coming October 15th.
Man, it sounds like a commercial. Anyways…..
Review Responses:
Private LL Church: It has been a while, I didn't plan to take that 3 week break in between chapter 33 and 34, but life got in the way. But I'm going to try my hardest to stay on schedule with part 4.
Dcp1992: Thanks….sorry about the other break, but I'll be back on the 15th, so it's only three weeks.
Kimjuni2: Thank you…I feel worse for Zuko now that Azula didn't say good bye….but that's just how it goes. Hope you liked this chapter.
MusicalWerido: Wow, "breathtaking"? Thank you so much. I did like the last chapter, though. I was re-reading it after I updated and even I was a little taken away. I suppose I strike gold every now and then. But anyways…thank you.
Winnow: Thank you, but I wouldn't say her amnesia is cured. Her old self is returning, and a new stage in her plot line is occurring, she has most of her memories back now, but now she has this new problem of her old self within her brain, so remembering things isn't the problem anymore, it's more along the lines of making sure her old self doesn't come back.
Katsumara: Yep, everyone's alright. Zuko will be a little hurt that Azula left without saying good bye, but everything happens for a reason.
Madier1095: Zuko will be fine, I can honestly say I don't plan for Zuko's injuries to be a major problem…they're like Aang's scars from Azula. And yes, Suki's still a mess, but we'll be seeing a lot more of her in the next part, which is sure to be interesting.
Poka: Thank you, everyone seems to think the last chapter was epic, but that's what I was going for, so I guess I hit the spot. I hope you liked this chapter as well.
Loopy Kid: No….there will be no Azulaang. That ship is sailing away and Kataang is back on track, and there will be some lovely Kataang storylines in part 4 of the seriously sappy and seriously dramatic kind.
Leon Woon: Yeah, Long Feng is certainly gone, and unfortunately so is Joo Dee/ Suzu Ni. Zuko's fine and everyone else is good. Except for Azula, she's going a little more insane in the membrane than anticipated, but she's on a journey now.
Destiny321: Well, Azula's trying to not to turn evil, but with the introduction of her new "inner Azula" that task will be harder than expected. And no, Aang didn't kiss Azula. Though that idea did run through my mind when I was planning that chapter way back when, I decided against it…it would've been too messy. Plus, I never really planned for the Azulaang to go anywhere serious.
Wow, it seems like you guys loved chapter 34. That makes me revved up for part 4, I know you guys are gonna love it…so stay tuned and I'll be back on the 15th of October.