I decided to give yall one last update before I LEAVE TO GO SEE FALL OUT BOY OH MY GOD THEY ARE MY HEART AND SOUL I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
GOD
FUCK
LOVE THEM
Anywho, thanks so much for reviewing! I haven't gotten as many reviews as I normally do, like, at all. It's fine by me, I just hope you're all doing okay!
"You feeling okay?" A guest asked Xavier after he yawned.
"Tired." He grumbled, exhausted. He had slept on Yuukio's couch again, and it wasn't the most comfortable thing.
Yuukio's loft was extremely nice. It was open, and colorful. The whole place smelled like ginger. It was weird but he liked it.
His parents would be leaving today, lifting a heavy weight off his shoulders. He stretched and stood. "Let me go get more tea for you gals." He left to go fetch more tea, and a few pieces of cake for himself.
"Have you spoken to your parents?" Hikaru questioned when Xavier was putting the things on a cart.
"No, not really. I slept over at Yuukio's again last nice. Her place smells really nice." He said, shrugging. "I don't really want to talk to them. I have to go sit for two hours with a stranger and tell them my problems."
"They're really making you do it?"
"Of course. I was sent the information by email from my dad last night." He rolled his eyes. "I'm not too worried. I knew this was going to happen. With my luck, they'll load me up on medication, I can pretend I'm cured, quit going, and move on with my life. My mom told me to only go for a few sessions. She really loves my dad and me and wants us to get along. But right now, my mind is set on the bottle of whiskey that Yuukio has at her place." He trudged away, pushing the cart towards the guests.
"Yuukio!" Hikaru growled, turning around and walking over to her. "You can't let him drink again!"
"Hikaru, relax. He's been stressed. I had a marathon of Deadly Women to watch last night and he was by himself all night…oh…yeah, totally forgot. Kaoru and I are going out tonight and you're staying at my place with Xavier." She told him and he just stared at her. "Sorry, but, I don't want him drinking alone. I doubt he'll get drunk, he's hard to get drunk, but still. I think he needs someone to be there for him."
"But…." Hikaru started, then glanced to Xavier. "Okay." He wouldn't mind spending time with Xavier, even if the boy was trying to drink his problems away.
"Uh, Xavier…" A guest mumbled, looking red in the face. "Since you still have the British accent…would you call us love?"
"You like 'love' over 'babe'?" He questioned, eyesbrows raised. "Alright, love, whatever you say." The girl looked like steam was coming out of her ears, she was so happy.
"So dreamy!" A few other girls squealed and he tilted his head, a little confused. God, it made him even cuter. "Will you sing us a song?"
"Of course…love." The girls squealed again when he looked to him. He chuckled and grabbed his guitar and tuned it. "Certain song you want?"
"A cute song!"
"Let me seeeeee." He strummed his guitar, thinking. "I got one for ya, love. Tonight You're Perfect, by New Poltics."
"They are eating this up." Yuukio mumbled, smirking.
"Should I believe in the world, momma? Should I give up and hide or should I stay and fight? Should I believe in the rules, momma? Tell me if I should run or learn to shoot a gun." He sang and his mother looked at him when she heard him. "I don't know what to believe, momma. Yeah, I'm down on my knees, I'm begging please. Help me back on my feet, momma. 'Cause I need someone to believe, believe, believe in." He looked to her before looking back at the guests as he sang the chorus. "Tonight you're perfect. I wanna fall in love with the stars in your eyes. Tonight you're perfect. I wanna fall in love but only for the night."
"You think he's still mad at his mom?" Haruhi questioned.
"I don't think so. He just sang the beginning of it to her. It fits the situation well, while pleasing the guest." Yuukio replied.
"You won't believe what I've seen, momma. There's a fire inside, there's a storm on the rise. It's in the air that we breathe, momma. Can I speak out my mind in these changing times?" He sang, looking at his mother with a questioned expression. "Give me a reason to be, momma. 'Cause I'm down on my knees, I'm begging please. Help me back on my feet, momma. 'Cause I need someone to believe, believe, believe in."
"I like it." Kaoru said as he began the chorus again. His mother looked like she was tearing up as she watched him. "I think he expresses what his mom means to him."
"He expresses best through song." Yuukio nodded her eyes as he continued singing, clearly having fun.
"Tonight you're perfect, I wanna fall in love with the stars in your eyes. Tonight you're perfect. I wanna fall in love but only for the night." He finished and his mother ran over, hugging him tightly just as he set his guitar down. He seemed caught off guard by it, but he patted her back.
"I'm sorry." His mom said, looking at him.
"Don't worry about it." Xavier mumbled as she let him go. "You can't stop dad once he has his mind set. Just have a safe flight back home." He told her and she hugged him again as his father walked over. They shook hands, rough and harsh. His mother kissed him and whispered in his ear before they both left the room. Xavier stood still for a few moments, before sighing and trudging to an empty couch.
"Poor Xavier." Yuukio said, sitting down next to her. He sat up and put his head in her lap, before laying down again. "You're being affectionate."
"I want to get so fucking wasted right now." He grumbled to her. "Are you goin' ditch me again tonight?"
"Why? Do you want company for once?" She looked to Hikaru.
"Guess it would be nice. I get lonely too ya know." He sighed and closed his eyes as she continued scratching his back. "It's been bad lately." He mumbled.
"I know, darling. Don't worry, you won't be alone tonight." Yuukio said and smiled at Hikaru.
Xavier slouched on the couch in Yuukio's apartment, his glass half full of whiskey. He looked up at Yuukio who was all dressed up.
"You are all dolled up tonight, princess." He told her, furrowing his brows as he sat up and grabbed his glass. "I….thought you were staying here?" He didn't want to sound upset, so he chugged his drink. He had just felt…abandoned lately. He hated it so much.
"No, but I got someone else." She said as someone knocked on the door. She opened it and Kaoru was there with flowers, smiling at her. Xavier groaned and filled his glass again.
"Hey." Hikaru popped his head out from behind Kaoru and brushed past Yuukio to Xavier. "I'm your buddy for tonight." He sat down on the couch and Xavier put his legs onto his lap.
"Chill." Xavier murmured, a small smile on his lips and feeling better now that he had someone. He downed his glass as Yuukio put her flowers in a vase.
"Don't chug the whole damn bottle." Yuukio told him as she grabbed her coat and came back into the living room. "But if you do there's three more bottles. Be good you two!" She kissed Hikaru's head and Xavier's head as she grabbed her purse.
"Bye mom." Xavier told her with a chuckle. She rolled her eyes and the two left, leaving Xavier and Hikaru watching a movie.
"How are you doing?" Hikaru after an hour of watching the movie and Xavier finishing one bottle of whiskey.
"Fine." He muttered and sat up, moving his feet out of Hikaru's lap. He got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing the second bottle. "Things have just been shitty." He said, pouring his glass full of whiskey. "And no, I do not use alcohol to cope with my problems, I'm not becoming an alcoholic. I do actually enjoy how it tastes." He said and took a sip.
"You sure?" Hikaru questioned, glancing at Xavier. He was slumped against the couch, eyes starting to glaze over. "You don't get drunk easily, do you?"
"No, but I had six shots of something before you showed up." He grumbled. "I drank the first bottle too fast."
"What's been up with you?" Hikaru asked and Xavier just sighed and leaned against Hikaru.
"Sorry, when I get comfortable with people, I tend to get….I dunno." He sighed again. "I've just been lonely for the last week…..and I like to be alone…but I hate being lonely. It reminds me of when I was younger." He took another long sip. "Sometimes I'm….clingy, and it irritates people…sometimes I just crave attention."
"I understand." Hikaru said, because, he did. He felt sorry for Xavier. He had been stuck in Yuukio's apartment and she had been non-stop busy and he hadn't been getting any attention he needed.
"Glad someone does." He looked relieved. "My father is a fucking bastard. He fucking hates everything I do no matter what I do. I can't stand it. I know parents don't always agree but my father is so harsh. All he can give me is hell. Not any form of affection."
Hikaru looked at Xavier's wrist, where the tattoo was. It was still bruised by Xavier's father. "Your father is an asshole and you deserve better."
"I know." Xavier took another sip and just downed the whole cup. "I just want him to be proud of me and love me. I know that sounds pathetic."
"No, it doesn't." Hikaru told him.
"I shouldn't care though!" He exclaimed, sitting up now and looking angry. "I really shouldn't give a fuckkkkkk. God, it pisses me off so much!" He filled up his cup and drank it down again, setting it on the coffee table.
"Okay, no more for now." Hikaru decided once he noticed the bottle was empty. He pulled Xavier towards him and Xavier just clung onto him, burying his face in Hikaru's chest.
"I'm too fuckin' clingy, that's why." Xavier started. "I try but I can't help it. I have to be near someone now. Since Mona and I spilt it's been really rough not having someone to be closed to, but, I need time alone or I just get tired and irritated. It's so fucking conflicting."
"I…." Hikaru didn't know what to say. He didn't peg Xavier as the type of guy to like affection.
"I only like it from people I trust and are comfortable with. It bugs the shit outta me when you do it sometimes, but this is really nice." He murmured.
"Ssh, it'll be fine." Hikaru scratched his back and he felt Xavier relax. He knew this was the alcohol making him this docile, but he wanted to be there for him.
"Thanks.." Xavier looked up at him, his gray eyes blue against the blood shot whites of his eyes. He looked exhausted and ready to sleep for a hundred years. "Some days it's just really bad. Reminds me of when I had yet to go to America and I spent all my time in my room alone, wishing one day I could get best friends and start a band. Those days were the worst. I feel like I'm having them again."
"The whiskey probably didn't help." Hikaru told him and Xavier rolled his eyes.
"Nothing helps! The meds don't help, the therapists don't help, music is the only thing that helps and my dad hates it so much." He rambled. "He hates who I am. He hates what makes me alive. He just wants me lifeless and like a doll and I can't go back to being that. If I did, I'd die."
"Don't say things like that." Hikaru told him and Xavier looked up at him.
"It's the truth. We know…..I have difficulties expressing how…I feel. It's hard for me. I'm still…I'm trying…really hard. I've always been socially awkward." He continued, glancing away. "I've been told to sit down and shut up my whole life. Took me a year in America to get out of that, and I spent the next year living it up, only to get thrown back into this life of being told to sit down and shut up. I…..don't…..I can't…..do it again."
"Then don't." Hikaru said and Xavier chuckled a little.
"'S not that easy." He shook his head, sitting up on his own now. "Let's stop talkin' bout my shitty self-image and self-loathing and talk 'bout you. You've been actin' funny." He glanced to Hikaru who looked surprised.
"Uh….well…" He nervously muttered, feeling odd under Xavier's stare. "I got to use the restroom." He said quickly and got up, hurrying to the bathroom. He splashed water on his face, and stared at himself in the mirror before deciding he was fine.
Xavier was on the couch, his glass filled with whiskey again and a newly opened bottle on the coffee table. "I told you no more." Hikaru grumbled, grabbing the bottle and putting it back in the kitchen as Xavier whined. "No." He said sternly and sat down as Xavier sipped his glass.
"So, what's been buggin' ya?"
"Uh…." He didn't know what to say. He wanted to talk about his odd feelings for Xavier….but, he didn't want to talk about them to Xavier. Then again, Xavier was looking drunk, or getting to be drunk, and probably wouldn't remember a thing tomorrow morning. "I…okay…well…I've been having…weird feelings lately."
"'Bout what?" Xavier questioned, taking another sip.
"A…person." He mumbled, red faced. Xavier looked surprised. "I've never felt like this before."
"Oh…..you have a crush?" Xavier asked. "It's normal, dude…..just a 'lil crush. It's 'bout time you get one. Who is it?"
"Just…a girl…." He shrugged it off. "A crush?"
"Yeah…ya like someone…..is it just….'oh, I like you, we can be best friends' or is it…uh…..give me a second." He rubbed his forehead and took another sip of his whiskey. "Or is it like…..'I wanna hold your hand and kiss you'?"
"The second one.." He blushed, looking at Xavier. Xavier finished his whiskey and set the glass down on the table. "Did you have a crush on Monique?"
"Mona?" Xavier squinted for a second. "Oh…yeah…I did. I really didn't like how it made me feel. I've had crushes…before. Not many. I honestly am...not…..attracted to too many people. It's weird. But, you know….you know a crush when you have one. When I get one…I'm like….'oh fuck' because…they can be annoying."
"You're telling me." He said as Xavier pulled his long legs onto the couch. "I've…been having weird dreams with them in it. I get a little nervous when I see them. It's just not normal."
"What else do you feel…other than nervousness?" Xavier asked and Hikaru could tell he definitely would not remember a thing in the morning.
"I feel…happy. I just smile. I like it when…she…laughs. I just feel so excited when we talk and she looks at me with her….blue eyes. I've never felt like this before. It's really strange for me to want to get so close to someone other than my brother."
"Good. You gotta learn sometime…things don't stay the same." His eyes drifted to his phone as it rang. He picked it up with a little trouble. "What?" He grumbled when he answered it.
"Where are you?" Renge questioned and Hikaru grew nervous.
"At Yuukio's…." He grumbled. "What do ya want?"
"You need to come home…you sound terrible."
"I'm stayin' here tonight. I gotta gooooo." He slurred a bit and hung up, tossing his phone on the table.
Annnnnyyywwaayy." He reached out and patted Hikaru's shoulder, losing his balance a little. "That's great! Finally ya got a crush! Awesomeeeee." He told him, swaying a bit. "Maybe you'll have a girlfriend soon? What does she like to do?"
"She plays instruments." He admitted, really hoping Xavier wouldn't remember it in the morning. "She has a beautiful voice."
"Really? Chilllllllll. You goin' ask her out?"
"N-N-NO! I barely knew I had a crush. I dunno what to do." Hikaru sighed, feeling a little hopeless.
"You talk to her, right? That's a start. Just…uh….maybe…talk about things she loves? If you don't understand it…..try to…..it makes them happy….well…anyone happy, when you try…to understand what they love." Xavier was trying to put his thoughts into words. "Don't…don't ignore her…or play hard to get…..don't play with her. God why don't you ask me for advice when I'm sober?"
"I'll try to remember that." Hikaru murmured, rolling his eyes.
"She pretty?"
He looked at Xavier, seeing his blond hair flipped over to one side and his eyes were on Hikaru, even though they seemed so distant. His cheeks were red, making his eyes bluer and he looked like he was drifting off to sleep. "Oh, yeah…..really pretty." He blushed as Xavier smiled. "God you are going to be so hungover tomorrow."
"I knowwwwwwwww." Xavier whined and leaned against Hikaru, burying his face against his chest again. "But least you're here…everything is too quiet at Renge's. So…alone…." He trailed off as his grip on Hikaru's shirt loosened. "Sometimes….quiet is….violent." He told Hikaru, looking at him before shutting his eyes and drifting off.
Hikaru shifted on the couch, pulling his legs up and leaning further back onto the pillow. Xavier groaned and nuzzled against his chest, still sleep. Hikaru blushed, but smiled at the male, brushing his hair out of his face.
He heard the door open and Yuukio came in, Kaoru behind her.
"Ready to go, Hikaru?" Kaoru questioned but stopped when he saw Xavier asleep on his brother. "Or are you staring here?"
"You can go if you want, Hikaru. I'll take care of him." Yuukio offered, but smiled at how cute they looked.
"No. Uh…I'll stay. I think he might be upset if I was gone when he wakes up." Hikaru said, not wanting to leave him like this. "Is that okay?"
"Of course it is." Kaoru said, nodding his head. "Just don't cause Yuukio any trouble, got it?" He smirked and kissed Yuukio goodbye before leaving. Yuukio shut and locked the door, smiling at Hikaru.
"Thank you." She said as she walked over. She ran her fingers through Xavier's hair affectionately. "He'll feel horrible tomorrow but I'm glad you were with him tonight."