Oakdale, Illinois, Snyder Farm, 2019
To her credit, Lily had done a good job of hiding her sorrow from the small dark-haired boy, who'd turned up so unexpectedly; like a beacon of light to their lost Snyder ship.
Her movements were a little quicker than normal. But with bloodshot eyes, she smiled her best smile; dishing extra crispy bacon on Leo and Ethan's breakfast plates.
"Where's Grandma Emma?" Ethan asked.
If there was anything that could give away the barely concealed adult turmoil, it was Holden's absent mother. Try as she might, Emma continued to break down every time she thought of Luke. And the presence of Leo was a strong reminder of their loss.
For Leo's own good, Lily had taken up the chore of making breakfast for the boys, even though Holden knew Lily really wanted to crawl into bed and never come out again. As did he.
Holden squeezed Ethan's shoulder. "Mama wasn't feeling well this morning, Son. She'll be fine though. It's just a little head cold…"
Ethan shrugged. "Must be going round…"
"Why do you say that?" Holden asked, swallowing thickly.
"I heard Natalie sniffing in her room this morning; and Mom's eyes are all swollen and her nose is red like she's been cr-"
"Hey, Ethan?" Lily quickly interrupted. "I drove Eva here from Grandma Lucinda's house this morning. She's outside feeding the chickens. Why don't you go and introduce Leo?"
Holden thought his son might protest. But Ethan popped a final rash of bacon in his mouth and hopped off his chair.
"Come on, Leo!" he called.
Leo was still a little unsure of himself, though he grew in confidence with each passing minute.
It was quickly clear to them that he shared Noah's forethought. As he'd told them his story the previous day, he'd taken his time with each and every sentence. He'd think it over first, before delivering it in what Holden was proud to recognize as Luke's eloquence.
In fact, Leo was the perfect blend of Luke and Noah. And for the few hours they'd had with the boy with them, it was like a missing piece of the Snyder puzzle had slotted back into place.
Then hope was pummeled once more by the dreadful news that morning, when Natalie innocently turned on the television to check on Luke's progress. It was like a ton of bricks being dropped on Holden's heart.
Another dark cloud covered the sun.
Now, Holden watched this anxious boy glancing between the adults in the room. Leo was so like Noah in looks and Luke in manner that it physically hurt to be around him.
The boy seemed to be searching for permission so Holden nodded encouragingly at him. Finally, Leo wiped his mouth on a napkin and got up to follow Ethan.
"Thanks for breakfast. It was delicious," he shyly told Lily on the way out the door.
As soon as they stepped over the threshold, his wife's eyes spilled over. "Oh, Holden! How are we going to tell him?"
Over the years, they'd always held a hope that Luke and Noah were happy and alive somewhere. It was the only thing that kept the family going during those dark days. But if he were honest, Holden had to admit that a part of them had grieved as anyone would if they'd lost a loved one to death.
It had taken its toll on his relationship with Lily, too. For a few years, they'd even separated from the strain of it all. But they shared a strong love. They were, after all, soul mates. Eventually, they'd found their way back to each other.
Despite loosing both the boys in such a shocking way, life had to go on. They had other children to consider.
So it was almost unbelievable. Here they were, forced to lose their son all over again. The pain of it was excruciating and would perhaps have destroyed them this time around had the angels not seen fit to send them Leo.
Now Leo's well being became their full focus. Fate had entrusted him to their care. They would put aside their own pain to harbor and protect him.
"We're not going to tell him," Holden replied. "It will be a family effort. But we somehow need to keep that kid away from the television; and everybody else away from the farm. I'm not sure how we'll do that once the rest of the family hear the news. But the less people who know of Leo's existence the better."
Lily nodded her agreement.
"The last thing that boy needs right now is to be carted off by Child Protection Services." Holden continued. "As much as possible, we need to act like nothing's changed."
"For how long?" she chocked.
"Until Noah's had a chance to succeed. It would make it easier on the boy, if he had Noah back."
"What if Noah fails?" Lily sadly asked.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but at least we know he has Damian's backing. I may not like that man, but he's got connections and money that can help Noah along the way."
Lily angrily shook her head. "I knew he had something to do their disappearance! And he lied right to my face, when I begged him to tell me! He let us think they may be dead!"
"Nothing Damian does surprises me," Holden replied.
"I don't want to see that little boy broken any more than he already is," Lily sobbed. "I couldn't bare that on top of everything else!"
Holden approached her and kissed her forehead. "I know it's hard. We just have to keep faith in Noah."
…
Eva, as it turned out, was a chubby strawberry blonde with big blue eyes and a cheeky smile that dimpled much like her brothers'.
"I'm Evangeline," she announced when Ethan tried to introduce them. "That means surprise. Because when I was born, Mommy and Daddy weren't expecting me. So I was a surprise... see?"
"Urg!" Ethan exclaimed; annoyed by his little sister's overblown sense of self-importance.
She shot him a look of warning and stood with her hands firmly placed on her hips.
Leo's first thought was that Eva looked a lot like Grandma Emma. She had the same roundness about her; the same curly hair and rosy cheeks.
"I'm 8," she continued. "Who are you?"
"I'm Leo and… um… I know this is gonna sound kinda weird but… I guess I'm your nephew and… you're my aunt."
The girl bulked at him. "I can't be your aunt, Stupid! Aunts are old! Everybody knows that!"
"Yeah?" Ethan challenged, coming to Leo's defense.
"Yeah!" she responded, curls bobbing.
As if to prove her point, Eva proceeded to ring off a long list of all the aunts she could remember, all of whom, in her opinion, were old.
"Well, shows what you know!" Ethan teased. "Leo is Luke's son, so that makes him our nephew! So there!"
Her mouth gaped open. "Luke?"
Leo nodded, biting his lower lip.
Her eyes rounded even more than they already were naturally. "You've seen Luke?"
Leo laughed. "Yeah. He's my pop."
She frowned. "What does that mean?
Ethan sighed. "Luke is Leo's dad, Dummy!"
"Then why doesn't he just say that?" she asked, frustrated. "Geez!"
Leo smiled. "Well, because it would get kinda confusing, if I called both of my dads, Dad."
It was obvious that Eva was now completely confused.
"Okay," Leo tried to explain. It wasn't the first time he'd had to explain his family makeup. "It's like this. My dad is Noah. He's my real dad. I mean… he's my dad like Holden's your dad… see?"
She nodded slowly, but her nose was crinkled and he could see her mind spinning.
"My dad and pop are together, like your mom and dad are together. So that means Luke is also my dad. But I can't also call him Dad. So I call him Pop instead," Leo said, pausing to take a deep breath.
Eva regarded him for a moment, while she tried to wrap her head around it.
"Whatever, Dude!" she curtly replied, rolling her eyes at Leo like he was beneath her high level of intellect. "At least me and Ethan didn't have to go to school today!"
She made Leo laugh. He liked her instantly; and he knew she really was going to live up to her name, when his pop found out about her.
If he ever gets the chance.
"Wanna help feed the chickens?" Eva asked, steering them from a subject she didn't understand to one she knew all about.
"Sure."
She spent a few minutes showing Leo how to spread the corn around the yard. She was very precise and specific; telling him off when he didn't do it right. She told him to watch out for the numerous clucking hens and roosters pecking away at their feet.
"It's not nice to stand on them," she insisted, wagging her finger at him.
With the chickens fully fed, Ethan and Eva proceeded to show him how to search the raised hen boxes for eggs. He found one or two himself and lifted them gently from the nest box to lay them in the basket Eva had placed on the ground nearby. He was surprised at how warm they felt in his hands.
All the while, he answered their questions regarding Luke and Noah. Ethan and Eva specifically wanted to know what Luke was like.
"Do you remember anything about him?" Leo asked Ethan, flinching a little from the pain in his side when he bent to deposit an egg.
"Some," Ethan replied. "I know he used to read me tons of stories. I remember sitting on his lap and he would make…"
"…voices?" Leo finished almost wistfully.
"Yeah!" Ethan laughed. "And he used to swing me onto his shoulders. I remember Noah used to do that a whole lot, too."
Leo discovered a whole new level of comfort being around the other Snyder children; a familial feeling he's never known before. The lightheartedness of the task they were undertaking helped to distract Leo from the near crippling worry he would otherwise feel.
His whole life, Leo's parents had always been together. Now they were split apart; and Leo didn't know how one would be without the other. He may have been young, with little understanding when it came to the secret world of adult relationships. But even at his age, he knew the level of his parent's connection ran deeper than anything.
Eventually, all the eggs were collected and all that remained was to replace the old straw in their nests with new. Once finished, Eva allowed Leo to carry the basket of eggs back inside to the safety of the kitchen.
Leo had quickly discovered that the Snyder kitchen was the warmest and most comfortable part of the house. It was huge, big enough to fit at least 30 people; rustically furnished with a well-used wooden table and chairs.
In the center was a sold island butcher block around which the family often stood and shared the job of preparing meals.
There always seemed to be somebody in the kitchen. The room was alive; a piece of living historic architecture.
"Would you just look at them all!" Grandma Emma exclaimed when they marched inside. "Look how many eggs you found!" She softly rubbed Leo's shoulder. "Leo's our lucky charm today, isn't he?"
"Yeah!" the other two children agreed just before Eva disappeared up the staircase.
Leo felt a little uneasy. Emma too had puffy eyes and carried a used handkerchief.
He looked over into the kitchen, where Lily and Natalie sat at the table; Holden standing close by. They all smiled reassuringly at him. But still. Something felt off.
"Dad, can we go riding?" Ethan hopefully asked.
"I don't know, Eth…" Holden replied. "Leo needs to take it easy, you know? I'm not sure he's up for that yet. Why don't you two take him down to the barn, show him how to muck out and brush them down."
"Really?" Excitement coursed through Leo's veins. Being near horses was something he'd always loved. His pop's stories being the main driving factor behind that.
His parents had taken Leo for the odd ride here and there, whenever they could afford the riding school fee. But this was different. This was a realfarm; the place of his father's childhood.
Holden's smile was warm. "Of course. You guys stay outside and play today. The weather is perfect. Just take it easy, okay? Rest if you're tired."
"Don't worry, Daddy!" Eva importantly replied, arriving back in the kitchen. She wore a plastic stethoscope around her neck and was in the process of pulling a nurse's cap, topped with a red cross, over her head. "I'm a nurse. I'll take care of him. It's my job, you know?"
…
Caring for horses, Leo discovered, was pretty darn exhausting. A few hours later, he dropped down on an upturned barrel; struggling to catch this breath. He laughed when Eva came quickly to his side armed with a plastic bottle of water.
He allowed her to feel his forehead, a serious expression of consideration on her sweet freckled face. She ran through a list of ridiculous medical questions, to which he gave as serious an answer as he could muster. Seemingly satisfied, she nodded and returned to her chores.
Leo sat there for a while; content to drink while he watched Ethan and Eva run their brushes carefully over the brown and white spots of Anchor's coat. Eva kept up a constant insistence that her way of using the brush was right and her brother didn't have a clue what he was doing.
This went on until the siblings heard the rumble of a car engine and they both stilled to listen. Eva was the first to drop her brush.
"Faith!" she grinned. "Faith and Ian are here!"
The two kids excitedly raced each other out the barn and Leo slowly followed behind.
A red car parked up beside Holden's truck and a pretty young woman in a floral dress stepped out.
Faith. Pop's sister, Faith.
Faith left the car door open to run up the grass bank; long hair flowing behind her. She flung herself into the arms of Emma and Lily.
Leo was too far away to hear what was being said, but it was clear Faith was terribly upset.
Leo's attention turned back to the car, where a young man with reddish-brown hair stood forlornly watching the scene.
Ethan and Eva had come to a standstill close to where the three women stood.
There was an intense stab to Leo's heart and the images began to blur together. He felt himself falling.
"Woah there!" Holden's strong arms caught him from behind before he hit the ground. "Looks like somebody needs an afternoon nap…"
"I'm fine," Leo replied.
But he didn't complain as Holden carried him back to the house, up the stairs and into the bedroom that was once his pop's.