Chapter 35: Yes, Naruto Does In Fact Appear This Chapter

White Space

Minato was at his desk looking over a whole hell of a lot of paperwork. Well, more specifically it was paperwork that had a lot do to with hell, but that was just being nitpicky. It appeared that by creating a pseudo-Iwa he had used a lot of power from the universe. He thought it was really awesome. The people in charge of accounting for the power usage seemed less enthused than he was. The paperwork had more mentions of the word reckless than his entire sealed case file that was sitting somewhere in the Hokage office. That file averaged one reckless every five words.(1)

"Judge-sama, I know you have a responsibility; one that all of us in accounting have tremendous respect for," The accountant that Minato had tried to block out said. The man coughed lightly, shuffled the papers in front of him until he found what he was looking for, and said, "You used three times your power allotment for the year. That is simply unprecedented." The accountant paused for a moment. "Not to mention extremely reckless."

Minato sighed. The man in front of him could have had 'Tedious' as a name tag and Minato wouldn't have skipped a beat. Every once in a great while he would have to meet with him to discuss what he did in the afterlife. Before this Minato had been surprised about how the accountant had never had a single problem with any of his judgments. It seemed his way of judging the soul was far less taxing on the universe's power than anyone had ever thought possible. The method that Minato called a personal touch the accounting department called economical.

Minato put on his best diplomatic face and said, "I understand that I went overboard. I understand and accept any responsibility for my actions. However, I am a busy man. While I am sure I deserve every moment of berating you have given me I would like to simply move past this. What damage have I caused and what can I do to make restitution?"

The accountant suddenly looked nervous. "I, um, well it is hard to exactly figure out the damage that your recklessness has caused you see…" The accountant said, obviously holding something back.

Minato's eyes narrowed. "Ballpark it for me," he said dangerously.

The accountant tugged at the collar of his shirt. "Well, technically speaking there wasn't actually any damage," the accountant said as mildly as he could.

"So we've been having this conversation for…" Minato paused and made a gesture to the accountant.

The accountant, too afraid to not to play along, looked at his watch and spoke, "Five hours, Judge-sama."

"Five hours. We have been here for five hours discussing my, and I quote, 'reckless use of power'. Why is it reckless if there is no consequence from it?"

The accountant opened his mouth to speak but promptly shut it and got a pensive look on his face.

Minato looked murderous. "Please do not tell me that this is the first time the question has occurred to you."

The accountant winced as if in physical pain. Which he very well could be before this conversation comes to an end.

Minato removed the reading glasses he had been using to look over all of the small print in the paperwork and shut his eyes as he pinched the bridge. "So, why exactly have we been having this conversation?"'

The accountant took a steadying breath before saying, "It is the entire point of accounting, sir."

Minato opened his eyes and gave the accountant an incredulous look. "Excuse me?"

"You see sir, all accounting really does is tell you what's there. If you happen to have a book we'll be glad to tell you if it is right or wrong, but otherwise we just look at stuff and say 'yup, it's there.' For mortal banks and businesses this is, at times, complicated work that is more time consuming than anything else. You have to verify every transaction and make sure the books are correct. You don't have books sir. There are no funds to be had here. So all I can do is tell you what you used, and since it's a big number it seemed right to call it reckless. That and I'm paid by the Shinigami every time I say the word reckless."

Minato twitched. "SHINIGAMI!"He yelled.

The Shinigami was there instantly. "Not so loud, Minato-kun, you know I have sensitive ears."

Minato twitched again.

The Shinigami rolled his eyes. "It appears Minato is in one of his moods. You may go now Dara. Thank you for your services as always. Give my love to Molly."

The accountant ran out of the white space as fast as his legs would carry him. How he actually got out, no one knows.

Minato raised an eyebrow, his rage forgotten for the moment. "Molly? You are telling me that guy has a wife?"

The Shinigami sat down in the chair that Dara the accountant had just left unoccupied and shook his head. "Of course not. However in life Dara lusted after a woman he believed to be fictional(2). As you already know, fiction is nothing but an alternate universe refracted into another. Long story short, I own his soul and he gets to spend all his down time talking to a woman he worshipped for years."

Minato wrinkled his nose. "That is incredibly creepy."

"You and Kushina make me puke on a regular basis, don't throw stones behind your glass desk, Minato-kun."

Minato began to roll his eyes but stopped. He had gotten distracted. "So, about that whole 'I get paid to mention you being reckless' thing that the accountant brought up."

The Shinigami's eyes bored into Minato for a moment before he shrugged. "I found it funny. The day I need further justification for anything I do is the day I reap myself." Before Minato could respond the Shinigami held up a hand. "You have other matters to attend to. Your queue button is glowing." Without further notice the Shinigami disappeared from the White Space.

Minato heaved a mighty sigh and glared at the queue button. It was indeed aglow. He was tempted to just smash it against the ground to spite the Shinigami, but he knew he'd ultimately be the one paying the price for the useless gesture. With another smaller sigh Minato pressed the queue button.

The man in front of Minato was a familiar face. He had many wrinkles on his face, although some were from stress than old age. He was not a handsome man, but his eyes had a self-assured confidence radiating from them. He was smiling slightly, as if recalling a fond memory. Perhaps because he was.

"Only the best for the great Jiraiya-sama I see," Jiraiya said loftily.

Minato leapt over his desk and delivered a bone-crushing hug to his former master.

Jiraiya was taken aback. However, he did not show it as he returned the hug just as fiercely.

When they pulled apart Minato said, "We have much to discuss, Jiraiya-sensei."

Jiraiya nodded gravely. "Aye lad, we do."

Konoha

Kakashi giggled as he flipped to another page in his erotic novel. He had to hand it to Obito, the boy had been ahead of his time when it came to having adoration for books such as Icha Icha. He was currently re-reading Icha Icha Tactics, the third installation of his favorite book series. It had been a gift from his now favorite pupil, Uzumaki Naruto. Now, while he would never say Naruto was his favorite out loud it should have been obvious to all who knew Kakashi that anyone who gave him such a kind and thoughtful gift would naturally rise in his esteem. Kakashi read another line and burst into giggles once again. He really did like this book.

Kakashi's reading was interrupted by Naruto coming up to him, panting.

Kakashi lowered his prized book and took stock of Naruto. Naruto had come a very long way since they had begun this training. Although Kakashi never said so out loud, as pride only got in the way of training hard, he could see more and more of Minato in Naruto every day. The young man was becoming truly frightening. The best part was that Naruto refused to really acknowledge it. He didn't care how strong he was, just as long as he had enough strength to protect his precious people. Minato would have smiled at that mentality, so matching his own.

At the moment, however, Naruto was a sweaty mess. He had been training very hard since they got back from their most recent mission. His damaged arm had not slowed down his will to improve himself at all.

"What is it that you need, Naruto-kun?" Kakashi asked in his usual bored tone.

"Well, Kakashi-sensei, I was wondering if you could teach me another training technique. That last one really did the trick!" Naruto said enthusiastically.

Kakashi immediately saw the cleverness behind Naruto's simple request. The blonde was kissing his ass to try to get his way. How cute.

Kakashi eye-smiled at Naruto and for a brief moment Naruto had thought he had secured himself another training method. Then Kakashi replied. "Naruto-kun, do you remember the last time you interrupted your wonderful sensei's reading time?" Kakashi said sweetly.

Before Kakashi could finish his sentence Naruto was standing behind a tree a good one hundred feet where he had previously been.

Kakashi's smile got bigger. He yelled, "I see that you do remember. That's good. Would you like to ask me again about that training?"

Naruto shook his head very vigorously and practically ran from Kakashi's presence.

Kakashi let out a soft chuckle and turned his attention back to his book. A few moments later he was once again giggling like a schoolgirl.

Location Unknown

Itachi and Kisame were heading towards an old Uchiha hideout with a specific purpose in mind: for Itachi to battle his brother for the final time. An hour earlier the two had made camp for the night, planning to finish their journey in the morning.

Kisame looked over at his partner and was surprised to see how calm the man was. Itachi never seemed to be bothered by anything, but he was about to do one of the most important things that any man could do with his life. "Hey Itachi, are you ready for this?" Kisame asked.

Itachi's gaze snapped to Kisame. To the other man's credit he did not so much as twitch from the oppressive stare. "What do I have to be nervous about, Kisame? I finished the others. This one is no different."

Kisame grinned toothily at Itachi's response. "Oh come now, we both know that isn't true. This is the final one. One you've put off for quite some time."

Itachi grunted and said, "You have a point. Still, I am confident in my abilities."

"You said that last time, but you still didn't finish the job," Kisame said with perhaps more bite than even he intended.

Itachi's eyes whirled, showing his displeasure at Kisame's cheek.(3)

Kisame put up his hands in apology, not wanting to anger the Uchiha. He quickly decided to change subjects. "So, are you ready then?"

Itachi's pinwheel eyes stopped spinning and he nodded. "As I said previously, I am ready."

Kisame stood up and nodded back. "Well, this is probably going to be the most important day in your life. The day you learn the final and most potent thin razor wire technique!" Kisame exclaimed with an unnatural amount of enthusiasm.

Itachi stayed seated on his log.

Kisame sighed. "Itachi, you will never learn the most important lesson of thin razor wire techniques if you do not exhibit emotion about the subject."

Itachi merely tilted his head slightly.

"You aren't even trying are you?" Kisame asked.

"Nope," Itachi said.

"You know the final technique for the thin razor wire is to enjoy using the thin razor wire. So why do you not put in an effort to enjoy yourself?" Kisame asked.

Itachi bounced up from his log and gave Kisame a small, genuine smile and said, "Because I think it would diminish your enjoyment to know someone else in the world is as good at thin razor wire techniques as you are. I have come far under your tutelage, but to go farther seems unfair to you. I thank you for your time and patience. You have been a good partner. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know."

Kisame was taken aback by the sincerity in Itachi's voice. He knew his partner was not quite the monster he made himself out to be, but never questioned his reasons. The dark-haired man had been loyal to their group since he had joined, even if he did have his quirks. Kisame also knew that Itachi's health was failing him. Sasuke may have been a punk, but he was a talented punk with a healthy body. Kisame would never say it out loud, but he worried for his friend. Although, Itachi did just offer him something. It was probably a good idea to cash in on that before the man battled his younger brother.

"Anything huh," Kisame said. He rubbed his chin thought for a moment. "I know exactly what I want. You kept taking those dead girls to your room after you fucked up the thin razor wire techniques when you first started out. Why did you do that? We all speculated what you were doing with them. In fact, we were even convinced that you did sexual things that… involved them. I want a straight answer."

Itachi rolled his eyes. It always came back to the dead bodies. "I actually wanted you to believe I was having sex with them. It was better than the truth. In an organization such as ours it is better to be thought of as insane rather than show weakness. Look into my eyes if you wish to know the truth, Kisame."

Kisame hesitated for a moment, usually careful to avoid the man's eyes. Upon consideration, he figured that if Itachi wanted him dead it'd be done while he was sleeping, and so he looked into Itachi's eyes.

Then his world turned to black.

Kisame opened his eyes and was suddenly aware that the world around him was startlingly in focus. He knew immediately that he was within Itachi's illusion.

"In my realm every sense is heightened. It is useful when inflicting pain upon others," Itachi said from behind.

Kisame scrambled to his feet and looked around. They were in Itachi's quarters. "Why are we here?" Kisame asked.

"Look for yourself," Itachi responded.

Kisame did in fact decide to look around. The sight in front of him startled him. It was Itachi focusing intently on a newly dead girl. His hand was on one of her breasts and he was muttering to himself. After a moment the body began to morph. The process finally stopped and what was left was a life size doll of the woman. Her features had changed drastically. Her eyes were now very big, and she had an inhuman smile upon her face. Where she had been a dead body before, she was now a lifeless doll that looked like it was made in a factory rather than with a dead body. Itachi sat the doll down across from him and went to his kitchen area to put on some tea.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Kisame muttered.

The Itachi of the past returned with tea and sat a cup down in front of the doll. The doll made no move to take the tea. Itachi didn't seem offended however and started to talk about his day with the doll.

"I used all of the women that I killed in the same fashion," Itachi said. "As the years went by I missed my family more and more, despite being at peace with what I had done. So I took people whose lives were forfeit anyway and-" Itachi was cut off by Kisame.

"You had tea time with dolls, Itachi," Kisame said bluntly.

Itachi's body went rigid. "That isn't how I would put it."

Kisame pointed to the doll. "Doll." He pointed to the cup of tea. "Tea." He made a whirling motion with his finger in the air. "Time is passing. You are literallysitting down for tea with a doll to discuss your day. I think you were right; the story about you screwing the dead bodies was less harmful to your reputation."

Itachi gave Kisame a baleful glare. "I believe you will find that no harm will come to my reputation."

Kisame snorted. "You've got to be joking. There is no way in the world that I am going to keep this secret. The others are going to find this hilarious."

"Did you forget where you stand, Kisame-kun?" Itachi said, his voice dripping with venom.

Kisame's eyes widened. "Now Itachi, there's no need to do something you will regret," Kisame said in what he hoped was a reasonable voice.

Itachi snorted. Itachi noted that seemed to worry Kisame. Good, it should. "Do something I will regret? I murdered nearly my entire extended family. I have played the role of betrayer to the country I love out of honor and respect for a man who died fifteen years ago. Now I go to my death in the hope that my brother will be made whole once more. I have manipulated him for the sole purpose of giving him a villain to hate. His hatred will guide him, and when he kills me his heart will be set free."

Kisame couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You… all this time…" Kisame choked out.

"Yes," Itachi confirmed. "All this time." Itachi stepped towards Kisame, his eyes spinning. "And you will remember none of it."

Hours later Kisame woke up to see that dawn had just started to break. He looked to his left to see Itachi was already awake with a pensive look on his face.

Itachi turned to Kisame. "Let's go. Your laziness has already cost us time." With those words Itachi began to walk out of the clearing.

Kisame grunted. That guy was as cold as they came; the bastard couldn't even let a man get his rest. Kisame sighed and followed his partner to their destination.

Back with Minato and Jiraiya

Jiraiya kept looking around the White Space with an annoyed look on his face. It was obvious that he didn't enjoy the accommodations very much.

"Not a fan of white either, huh?" Minato said more than asked.

Jiraiya nodded. "Yeah, this is pretty creepy. I expected more women waiting for me. I am glad to see you again kid, but I still had certain expectations."

Minato rolled his eyes. "You have an eternity to ogle and try to romance all of the women you could ever hope to Jiraiya-sensei. We have business to discuss." When Minato mentioned business his voice dropped in tone and his demeanor became more serious.

Jiraiya eyed Minato skeptically. "Not one to doubt you Minato, but you do realize we are both dead, right? Whatever we may have been able to do to the Akatsuki with the knowledge we have won't do us any good here. We just have to leave it up to Naruto and the rest of his friends now."

Minato shook his head. "I was not referring to the living world. Not entirely anyway. I have to show you something, and its on the other side of this place. Akatsuki is actually not my biggest concern at the moment. I have come across something else that is worrying me."

Jiraiya mentally grimaced. The last time he had heard the word "worry" come out of Minato's mouth was right before the young man had been forced to slaughter ten thousand enemy ninja in the last great shinobi war. If Minato was worried, shit was about to hit the fan.

"Yeah, sure. I don't know what could be more important than the Akatsuki but I've learned to trust you on stuff like this," Jiraiya said, obviously disturbed by Minato's vague explanation. Knowing that would be explained shortly, Jiraiya decided to tackle another mystery that was bothering him. "So, why were you the first person I saw when I died?"

And so Minato had to spend a very long time explaining to his mentor what exactly had happened the night of his death and most everything that had happened since. Jiraiya was, for the most part, stunned into silence by hearing about all of the ancient people his first pupil had met while dead, and how he had judged such legendary shinobi as Hanzo. Jiraiya had tried to pry more information out of him about Hanzo, but all Minato would say was that was a story for another day and wave him off, which only served to annoy Jiraiya. Finally Minato began to talk about his judgments of Akatsuki.

"Threw the old bastard into an endless ocean?" Jiraiya let out a soft whistle. "You have not lost your touch. I see you have made a fine judge, just as you made a fine Hokage," Jiraiya complimented.

Minato smiled at his teacher. No matter how old he got and how experienced he was, he never tired of hearing genuine compliments from the man who he saw as the father he never had. "Thank you, sensei. When we get back from what I need to show you I'll let you visit the Iwa of the future I built. That was expensive, according to my accountant," Minato said without a care.

"Hey, is that it?" Jiraiya asked, pointing to a giant blue pillar in front of them.

"Yup, that's it," Minato said. "Let me explain why we are here. It all started with the second Hokage. He made a mistake. A very stupid mistake. He thought he was better than he actually was. Thought himself clever. He thought he, more than any other living being, had the right to pull back the dead from their rest. He was a fool." Somewhere in the afterlife the second Hokage was throwing darts at the image of Minato.

"Impure World Resurrection," Jiraiya said, knowing of the technique.

"Right," Minato responded. "With this technique it is possible to summon the souls of the dead back into the world of the living. Orochimaru took this technique as his own and completed it. Still, there were limits to what the technique was able to handle and although dangerous to the balance of the afterlife, Orochimaru never had grand designs for the technique. It was just a useful tool. Unfortunately his apprentice saw the potential within it."

At that statement Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Kabuto? He didn't seem like that much of a threat the last time I saw him. Talented to be sure, but nothing to be worried about."

"It's always the quiet ones. He has taken the technique much further than either of the two former practitioners. That's where the problem is going to come in." Minato made a gesture to the blue pillar in front of him. "This pillar is going to fix the problem. I am not going to allow some brat who thinks he can play at God to take even a singlesoul merely to screw with the world." Minato turned his attention back to the pillar. "This pillar controls how the spirit world interacts with the living world. All I need to do is figure a way so that Kabuto can only take part of a soul instead of all of it when he summons them. I don't think it will weaken the technique on his end, but it will keep the souls safe."

Jiraiya tried to keep up, but he had to admit to himself that he was in over his head here. "What do you need me for, Minato? I don't have much of a grasp of anything you just said. I just walked through the door here, cut an old man a break."

Minato rolled his eyes. "I was with you for years Jiraiya, I know better than to let you get all depressed on me. You are a great man, and you can be of much use as you are about to see." Minato put his hands together and a moment later a few seals appeared on the pillar. The white seals were few and far in between and appeared rather simple in design.

"You must be losing your touch Minato if you need me for that. I don't recognize them off the top of my head but this appears to be very minor work."

Minato scowled at Jiraiya. "Man sensei, could you not underestimate me all the time? It really hurts my feelings," Minato said with his best hurt voice. It did not fool Jiraiya. "No, the reason I am asking for your help is you know just as much about seals as I do, maybe more, and this is not a one man job. So let me make this official: You are going to help me solve this problem. That is your judgment."

"I still don't understand-" Jiraiya was interrupted by the snapping of Minato's fingers.

Suddenly the White Space was white no more. It was now pitch black except for one minor detail. As far as Jiraiya could see complex seals were written on the floor in white. Jiraiya cursed under his breath, never having seen anything like this before in his entire life.

"Like I said," Minato said with a hint of amusement in his voice, "Not a one person job."

Footnotes

(1) Incidentally, Konoha had to replace its entire inventory of typewriters every time a Minato mission report would need to be drawn up. This was due to the fact that the letter R kept getting broken by careless secretaries who, for whatever strange reason, really had developed quite a loathing for the letter any time Minato got back from a mission.

(2) Molly is a character from the book series The Dresden Files, which is amazing. However, she is mentioned here because she just so happens to be smoking hot and a big star trek geek. She also, quite possibly, has more mental issues than an entire loony bin. That doesn't stop my friend from adoring her though.

(3) This refers to Kisame's terrible sense of humor, rather than Kisame's pale blue cheek that is on his face, which Itachi also has some unresolved issues with.

A/N: Oh hey, I actually updated again! My long term readers will remember when I actually update more than once every few months, it means I am on a roll. Well truth be told I finished reading the latest Dresden Files book and I felt inspired. Fantastic book series. Anyway with this chapter we embark on a new plot point which a lot of people have reviewed about: That whole bringing back dead characters thing. Yeah, that needs to be resolved. Who better to help Minato out than the great Jiraiya? Also I know I may have taken a little bit of liberty with the timeline in this chapter, but the Manga is pretty tightly compressed at this point so I needed a little bit of wiggle room. Hopefully I didn't make it explode too badly or anything. A lot of people enjoyed the Iwa I created. I'll keep that in mind. Unlike the accountant, I don't have a problem bringing out my big guns if everyone enjoys it. That was a very consistent theme in the reviews: Alt-Iwa was awesome. I'll for sure use the concept later down the line now that I know its a fan favorite.

Next chapter is going to have a ton of Shinigami. Like, he's going to be majorly involved in almost every scene! So I hope you guys like the Shinigami. He's going to be torturing Sasuke. Torturing Itachi. Torturing Madara. Hell he'll even torture Zabuza for failing him. Shinigami is going to run wild.

Poll: What is your favorite type of cookie? This is seriously, seriously important to the plot of this story and will have ramifications.

A lot of people fed my ego last chapter and showered me with praise. I thank you for your kind words.

Until next time.

~ Chris