Chapter 37
I sat next to Soul in the cafeteria and picked at my food. I could feel him watching me.
"How's it going?" he finally said.
"Fine," I said. I shoved some broccoli across my plate.
"You know," he said, "If you have something on your mind, then . . . we can . . . talk, or something."
I looked up at him. "Really?"
"Yeah, man," he said, "We're pretty close, right?"
"Sure," I said, "I mean, yeah."
"Then . . . maybe talking will make you less tense."
"I'm not -" I paused. He raised an eyebrow at me. I took a deep breath.
"I guess I'm being ridiculous," I said. "Lately, I'm just . . . getting stressed about Ragnarok. And it getting between me and Crona."
"But you guys have been going out for a while," said Soul. "Aren't you used to it?"
"It was manageable, but, well, if Ragnarok's there then we can't ever -" I suddenly stopped.
"Can't ever what?" he said.
"Nothing."
"Wait, what were you going to say?" He was starting to show a suspecting smile.
"Nothing," I said again.
Soul just grinned at me. After a minute, I relented.
"Okay, I'm just . . . worried about things that . . . might happen in the future." I mumbled the rest. "I mean, we haven't even done it yet."
Soul slapped a hand on my shoulder. "Oh, Kid," he said, "Under all that, you're still just a horny teenager."
"Shut up! I'm not horny," I spat back at him. He laughed.
"Ugh, whatever," I said, and shoved a piece of carrot in my mouth.
He was still laughing when Maka and Crona came to the table. Upon seeing us, they both started to speak.
Maka: "What's so funny?"
Crona: "Kid!"
"Nothing, it's nothing," said Soul.
"It feels like we haven't seen you in forever, Kid," said Maka.
I looked down at my food again. "Yeah."
They sat down in front of us. "Hi," Crona said to me.
Soul nudged me under the table.
"Hey," I said.
Crona looked at me shyly. "I'm happy to eat lunch with you again . . . I know you've been busy the last week . . ."
"Yeah," I said. Crona reached out and touched my hand on the table, making me look at him. He looked worried.
I started to speak. "I . . ."
He tilted his head slightly, questioningly.
"Yes?"
"Sorry," I said, "Um, yeah. I've . . . been pretty busy."
"Are you doing anything on Saturday?" he asked.
"Well, uh, maybe. I don't know. I'll have to check with Liz and Patty."
He frowned. "Okay."
"You seriously need to clean out Mousie's cage," Maka was telling Soul, "I can smell it from my room."
"Oh my god, it's not that bad," said Soul, "You just don't like her -"
"I didn't say that, Soul. You know, I love all animals -"
"So, I have things to do," I said, standing up.
"Dude, where are you going?" said Soul.
"Just . . . stuff."
"Can you be any more vague?"
"I just - it's just schoolwork," I said.
"Bullshit," said Maka. The look on her face was suddenly angry.
"What?"
"You been gone for like, a week," she said, "Are you avoiding us or something?"
"No -"
"And now you're lying," she said. "Come on, Kid. We're not stupid. What's going on?"
"Nothing's going on," I said, "Finals are coming up, so -"
"Wow," said Maka sarcastically, "You're a really dedicated student."
"Yeah," said Soul, "Even Maka hasn't started studying yet."
"Well," I said, "I like to be prepared."
"And you really can't spare a few moments for your social life?"said Maka.
"I'll make time soon," I said, "When finals are over -"
"You do realize how long away that is," said Soul. "You really shouldn't even be bothering with it yet."
"Okay," I said, "Okay, I'll slow down a bit. But I just have to go now."
"Why?" said Maka.
"I'm just - really preoccupied," I said.
"With what?" shouted Crona. We all stopped, staring at him. He wasn't even looking at me, but I'd seen that face before. It was hurt, and worst of all, lonely.
". . . Crona -"
"Okay, shut up, Kid," said Maka, taking Crona's hand, "We're going."
"Wait," I said, "I -"
"You're such a jerk," she said. She stood up, pulling Crona up with her.
"Crona -"
"Shut up!" she said. I watched as she stormed out of the cafeteria, pulling Crona with her.
"Fuck," I said. I grabbed my tray of food and slammed it into the trash.
"Kid," said Soul.
"I have to go," I said, "I have to apologize, I -"
"Okay," said Soul, "But just calm down a bit first -"
"I'm a fucking asshole," I said, "Jesus, did - did you see his face? Fuck, fuck -"
Soul grabbed my shoulders. "Kid!" he said, "Get a hold of yourself! Just stop whining, for god's sake. Just - think about what you want to do and then do it."
I struggled against his grip, before calming down enough to think properly. After a few breaths, he released his hands from my arms.
"Okay?" he said.
"Yeah," I said, "Okay."
"Hurry up," he said. I stood up, rushing out the door to Crona.