Your name is Cronus Ampora and you keep falling asleep.
You fell asleep a few times during the clown movie, and then a few times during the car movie - it was a pretty sweet car, you have to admit that - and then near the end of them movie with the guy who looked weirdly hot with half of his head torn off, you totally fell asleep. You just woke up, and Dirk's asleep now, too, arms wrapped around you and wow he's gotten good at not being stabbed with your horns when the two of you sleep together.
You like that for a few more minutes, enjoying the warmth and comfort he gives you, but after a while, you start to get a little restless. You wriggle a little bit, stretching out your legs and sliding out after them. He totally falls over, face-first into the pillows. You look at him and smile a little. He's hot regularly, but there's just something you really love about seeing him all cute and sleeping like that, worming his way into the absolute middle of the blankets.
You stretch, shivering and trying to ignore how fucking sore you are. Like, seriously. Everywhere. That stupid Kurloz. You know, you were feeling weird about it before, but you might actually agree to go try and kill him with Dirk by your side. Sure, it didn't work well before, but, to be honest, by that point your head had already gotten beaten in by Latula, so you weren't really at your peak performance. And if you can get your Ahab's Crosshairs fixed, you should be golden. Him with his sword, you with your Ahab's Crosshairs, Kurloz won't have a chance.
Maybe a shower will help. You look at Dirk for a few more seconds, then turn off the TV and head to the bathroom. Since you're all alone, you get to control the temperature, so it's not burning your gills off, nor freezing them off. It's pretty great. You sing a little in the shower, too, just some lyrics you've been working on, but your throat kind of hurts so you cut that out pretty quick.
You spend a longer time in the shower than you usually do, and Dirk is awake by the time you're done. He ambushes you outside of the bathroom, kissing your nose. You blush a little. God damn it. He needs to stop being cutesy. You don't know how to deal with it. He disappears inside the bathroom, and you head back to your room, deciding to get dressed for a day out even though you're pretty sure you'll be staying inside. No shame in looking good, right? You can head into the bathroom when Dirk's done, or maybe before Dirk's done, the steam will fog up your mirror, but you can deal with it, and grease your hair. Yeah. You're going to look good today, bruises and all.
And didn't greasers have bruises all the time, anyway? From like, fights and stuff? Greasers were tough guys, with awesome hair and awesome cars and girls all over them and everything, you're pretty sure they got in a lot of fights, too. And they looked hot with bruises, you think. Do you look hot with bruises?
Probably. When don't you look hot, right?
You contemplate this a little further while pulling on your jeans, wincing a little. They're sort of tight, and it sort of hurts, but you'll be fine. You're not wearing underwear, as per usual, but maybe you should put on some looser pants. Like, not ones that will hurt you, they're so tight.
...Nah, you'll be fine. Your shirt is always a little baggy, it makes up for it. Everyone else can see how great of an ass you've got while totally not looking at how fucking scrawny and un-muscular you are. You do have a reason for everything you do.
You do not, however, know where a cigarette is. You used to have a whole pack, but they just keep getting dropped or lost or beaten into the ground along with you or thrown into the ocean by trolls who don't appreciate your romantic solicitations.
You have to have one left, right? You try to be careful with them. You could've sworn you had at least one left...
It might be in the bathroom. You head in there, and wow it's really warm. Dirk doesn't pay any attention to you, instead choosing to keep just standing in there. You can see his basic outline through the rather flimsy shower curtain and damn. Wow. You are never going to get used to the sight, if only partial, of him totally unclothed.
Wait. You need a cigarette.
You dig around in the cabinets and eventually find one, squished underneath a some extra hair products. You straighten it out and set it down on the sink while you rub off the mirror with your hand, trying to get at least a little bit of seeing space so that you can properly do your hair.
You have to rub the steam off the mirror a few more times, but eventually you get your hair done. You put the cigarette in your mouth, trapping it between your teeth, and looking at yourself. Yeah. Yeah, the bruises, along with the hair that you couldn't really get perfect, make you look disheveled and attractive. Yes. This is probably the best situation you could have probably asked for. God damn you're hot. And sort of in pain. But mostly hot.
Dirk gets out of the shower then and looks at you. "Woah," he says. "Didn't know you were in here."
You glance at him, looking appreciatively and almost forgetting to respond. "Yeah," is all you can manage. He smirks, keeping eye contact with you as he dries himself off, starting with his hair and moving down. Wow. Uh. Wow. You really don't. Um. Wow. You don't think that you can actually. Um. Yeah, you really wish you weren't so beat up, he's fucking torturing you with this.
Once he's done and has his normal tanktop and jeans on, he pulls you into him, being overly gentle but also somehow annoyingly sexy at the same time. God damn it Dirk Strider.
"We going out today?" he asks. You shrug.
"I just wanted to look nice, but then I looked in the mirror and was like, wow, it would be a public injustice if only Dirk Strider got to see this, and plus I want to show off my bruises, which make me look even more disheveled and handsome, by the way, but also make people feel sorry for me," you say. He nods.
"I think I should be the only one, though," he says, kissing you once on the mouth and okay yeah you're not going to make it though the day if it's just the two of you.
"Yeah, well, if you're gonna keep teasing me like this, we've got to stop being alone because I'm about ready to just, like, attack you with sex and kissing but mostly sex."
He does laugh at that. "Alright, Cro," he says. "We can go out today."
i don't even know man