Chuuya didn't really get sad a lot. Sure, he had been sad before but mostly instead of getting sad he decided to get angry, fight back. Tears never stopped any wars, and ears never saved anyone. That being said, all this... crying... Chuuya couldn't stop doing was confusing to him.
It wasn't even just crying.
He felt like he was doing nothing, but he didn't want to do nothing, but he couldn't move because he was too tired and there was no point and it was just so hopeless. He hated himself and he wanted to curl up and cry then he hated himself more because that's such a waste of time. He felt guilty over everything even when he wasn't doing anything at all, and every action had to be thought about, checked, double checked.
He was just so tired and he wanted to sleep forever and never ever wake up. But he couldn't do that, and he didn't want to show he was weak either so he just bottled it up inside instead. Bottled it up from his family, from his coworkers, from his boyfriend Dazai. Bottled it up from the entire world. But now the bottle was cracking, and everything was spilling out.
Chuuya uncurled from Dazai's arms, snuck out into the living room, curled into a ball and proceeded to cry. He clamped his hands over his mouth, making his sobs and whines quiet so that Dazai wouldn't wake up and hear them, because wouldn't that be perfect? Of course, Dazai didn't wake up and hear him, but he did wake up and decide he wanted a drink so... it was pretty much the same thing.
"Chuuya?" Dazai asked him. Chuuya jumped, quickly wiping at his face, sneering tears and snot around as he tried to vanish the evidence- but it was too late, he saw. Now was that part when Chuuya was told he just wanted attention, he was pretending, Dazai had his own business to do and didn't have time to deal with Chuuya's crying like a baby- Dazai moved so he was in front of the couch, fell onto it beside Chuuya and grabbed onto him.
In a moment Chuuya was pulled into Dazai's grip, warm large and soothing as Dazai pressed sweet soft kisses all over the top of his head. "Chuuya, you should have told me." Dazai sounded sad. It just made Chuuya cry harder.
Dazai whispered softly into Chuuya's ear. Promises, words of love and care, and more promises- I promise to always be here, I promise to love you, I promise to protect you, I promise I promise I promise. All the while he kept hugging him, holding him tight in his grip and placing all those small kisses over his head, cooing and humming softly, trying to calm Chuuya down.
God he really was pathetic, wasn't he?
Finally after almost an hour (Dazai just give up I'm broken it won't work) Chuuya started to calm down. His tears slowed and now he was just tired again. Dazai pulled him up, into his lap, rubbing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. Chuuya squirmed away- his face was sticky with tears and snot, not that Dazai seemed to mind. He only smiled and passed over a tissue.
Chuuya wiped up his face, still shivering softly. "I'm fine," he finally said, his first words since Dazai had found him. "I-I'm fine."
"Liar~" Dazai hugged him, pressing yet another Eskimo kiss to Chuuya's nose, rubbing their noses together gently as he spoke. "You aren't okay. But you are tired. So let's go sleep and cuddle, and we can talk about it tomorrow, okay?"
That actually sounded kind of great.