She wanted to be in the front seat right now. Mainly because the backseat probably wasn't designed with passengers in mind. It was cramped and her knees were really starting to ache.

It was a bit of a drive to get from Pullman to Arnold's hometown, a city that was about two and a half hours north west. She never caught the name, but she reminded herself to be on the lookout for the sign. It was late afternoon, and Arnold had put the top back on after he walked back out of the gas station with three bottles of water, handing each one of them a bottle. She wanted to sooth him, to run her fingertips through his hair and snake her arms around his shoulders to help him relax, and to ease the pain of everything that had happened in the last couple of hours. But it was an awkward situation, to say the least.

Once they got back onto the highway though, the silence was easy. Words didn't feel like they were being bitten back and choked on. They were just quiet. Stella remained staring out the window, while Arnold kept a blank stare out the front windshield, a hard yet faraway look in his deep green eyes. And Helga went from playing on her phone, texting Rhonda about her impromptu trip, to looking out the side flaps of clear plastic that constituted as windows in the back.

What she only had time now to realize was that this was a place that he left behind when he was ten years old, but was the only place he referred to as home. He was probably trying to be symbolic, or he probably just meant that this was the only place that he felt at home, or he meant to apply the old saying that home is where the heart is. Either way, it didn't take much to pick up on the fact that this boarding house was a place he cherished.

It was getting to be just after four o'clock, and the sky was still bright blue, and Arnold was still driving about eighty down the high way, the trio in the jeep still quiet. She was excited to get to see the boarding house where he grew up, but every time she thought of it, she would slap herself mentally. It was only then that she kept having to remind herself how hard this must be for him, how many awful memories and hardships must be tied back to this place. She would have her work cut out for her if she wanted to see him smile at all this weekend.

She heard the blinker of the jeep go on, and looked back toward the front to see Arnold pulling off the high way. It was only then that she realized that they were entering a fairly dense city. He pulled to a stop at the light, waiting a moment before flooring the gas and taking off down the street. She looked over to Stella, seeing her eyes go from side to side, taking in the city they had just entered, and Helga decided to do the same. They seemed to be in a more suburban part of the city, taking into account the fact that they kept passing houses and middle income apartment buildings. Just as she was ready to see what else this city had to offer, she felt the car stop.

She looked out her right side to see them stopped in front of a large building made up of red bricks, worn with at least fifty or sixty years of age with a large green door, the paint starting to fade and peel at some parts. She heard him let out a small sigh out through his nose, and she looked over to see him looking over to the large house forlornly. "Is this it?" She asked, turning back to look toward the house.

"Yeah," He replied quietly, "this is it."

Stella was the first to get out, her eyes glued onto the red brick house she started slowly walking up to, and Helga was quick to follow her, jumping out of the back, leaving her bag behind to retrieve later. She closed the door behind her, but stopped when she looked back and saw Arnold still sitting in the driver's seat looking down to his lap. She looked over her shoulder briefly to see Stella still walking up toward the stoop, and decided to see what was wrong with Arnold. Taking in a small breath of self encouragement, she stepped back up to the jeep and opened the passenger side door and slid in, not closing it behind her. "Everything okay?"

He looked over to her, immediately looking over to her with obviously troubled eyes, giving her a quick answer.

"Yeah, stupid question." She said with a small chuckle, looking down to her own lap.

"I haven't been here in almost ten years." I said, a forced casual tone in his voice, probably trying to push down the emotion. "Color me pathetic, but... I'm going to need you with me when I open the door. I don't know what memories are going to flash back into my mind, but I can tell you right now that none of them will be pleasant. So... having you with me will... will help."

Trying fruitlessly to ignore the burst of love that filled her chest, she reached over and took his hand to start running her thumb over his knuckles. "I'll be right next to you."

He looked over to her with a sad smile, one which he wasn't trying to suppress and leaned over. She felt a smile brighten its way across her lips and she leaned over, meeting him in the middle to press them to his. As a familiar wave of electric heat shot through her, which felt somewhat different now, it felt like she hasn't kissed him in a lifetime, when in reality they almost made love on the forest floor not three hours ago. She lifted her other hand and ghosted her fingers across the stubble on his cheek. Seemingly reading his motions, she moved her lips against his to open her mouth, only to enclose it just as he was, kissing him in a slow, but heated kiss.

They parted with a soft pluck, and she smiled over to him when she felt her eye lids flutter open, seeing his soft smile silently let her know that he was glad she was with him. Arnold pushed his door open and stepped out, walking over to meet her at her side just as she was closing her door, and surprised her when he took her hand in his, entwining the fingers together. She looked over to him and smiled, but seeing trouble make its way back into his eyes as they gazed up at the aged door of the boarding house. She averted her eyes, but reached over with her free hand to rub his chest just below his shoulder in a motion of comfort. He let out another small breath before he took a step forward and pushed his way up the steps of the stoop where Stella was waiting, Helga staying pulled into his left side the whole time.

He dug in his pocket on his other side and pulled out another set of keys, different than the ones for his jeep. As she watched his fingers haphazardly flip through them, trying to find the right one, she was sure he was having a hard time coping with the memories already flooding his system when she saw his hand shiver. She responded by giving his other hand a brief squeeze. After a few more keys being flipped through, he took another small step forward and slid the key into the knob, unlocking the deadbolt before going to the knob and unlocking it, pushing it open at the same time, but not moving to make his way inside. Helga looked over to Stella after seeing her peer inside out of the corner of her eye while watching Arnold's expression grow more anguished.

Stella started taking small steps inside, and Helga looked past her and into the darkened board house. She couldn't see much, but it was clear to her that Stella was the first person to set foot inside this house in a very long time, and she could tell that it was going to take some encouragement and gentle coxing to get Arnold to be the second. His breath started to become drawn out, his chest heaving more and more with each deep breath he was drawing in. She could even feel his palm start to sweat against hers. She just continued to rub her hand against his chest just below his shoulder and looking into his troubled and almost cloudy eyes.

"There were two of them." He said in a low tone, his voice a bit shaky. She wanted to ask him to explain, but didn't want to startle him. "They seemed so tall back then. The one on the right had his hand on his holster. He was heavy set with a bushy mustache. The one on the left had his hands down by his sides, and he was a lot younger than the other. I could tell that they weren't expecting me to answer the door by the way they looked at each other. The one on the right looked down to me and asked if my mom and dad were home... and I said no. I remember that when he asked me that, that they found them. But then he asked me if my grandparents name's were Phillip and Gertie Shortman. I said yes and they looked at each other again."

It took all of her strength to keep her hand running slow circles against his chest, trying to keep him calm while he regaled his past, but it was getting harder and harder not to let her hand fall, or to coil both her arms around his neck and embrace him fully. His eyes were still dilating toward the entrance of the boarding house, and he was still making no motion to head inside.

"I can't remember their exact words after that. The only thing I remember is being in the back of their patrol car with one of their windbreakers around me. I knew I didn't do anything wrong but... I still felt like a criminal for some reason. But more than anything else I felt broken. Shattered. In a sick way, I hope that the man that told me my grandparents had been shot is having just as many nightmares as the ones he gave me. Still to this day, I hope the memories of that night torment him as much as it does me." He took a pause and let his head fall forward, closing his eyes. Not screwing them shut, but letting them simply drift closed. He lifted his head back up to look over to her with a pleading look in his eyes. "Does that make me a bad person?"

She felt a smile split across her face, and she reached up and cupped his jaw. "No." She answered him softly.

He let's out another sigh and moves his head slightly against her touch, as if to bury himself in her hand before he looks back toward the door. In one slow motion, he lets go of her hand and takes a long strong forward, passing through the threshold of the boarding house. She hears the loud pound of his combat boots hit the floorboards and echo through the house, watching him pace his way inside, looking from one end to the other. He stops after a few large steps inside, and it's then that Helga decides to move inside. She quickly makes her way by his side again and looks over to his darkened face. "There's a lot of work to do." He said with a sigh.

He reached his arm over to the wall next to them and flips on a light switch, a pale yellow light coming on in above them. In the next room, she could see that the furnishings were all covered with white sheets. It seems like this boarding house hasn't seen life or light in years. She could hear someone opening cupboards and drawers in the kitchen, but it wasn't enough to draw Arnold's attention away from moving up the stair case that was along the wall in front of them. Not knowing whether he wanted her to follow him or not, and not wanting to be left alone at the same time, she gave in and jumped up the stairs after him. She saw him stopped at the stop, then a second later, another pale yellow light came on in the hallway at the top of the staircase. She had just reached the top when she saw him down at the end of the long hallway, reaching up toward the ceiling.

She quickly started toward him, but stopped when she saw him pull down another stair case from the ceiling, the hinges creaking loudly, the wood squeaking as it came to a hard stop. With out a motion of acknowledgement of her presence, he started up the staircase he had just pulled down, and she was reluctant, but quick to follow him. He opened the door at the top and was stopped at the top when she came up behind him and looked past him.

He let his hand fall from the door knob with a heavy sigh and took a step forward to let her into the room. She moved past him to stand next to him at the entrance of what must have been his room as a child. If so, he had it made. The room was fairly large for a child's bedroom, with an intricate pattern on the carpet. The next thing she noticed was the sky light making up the entirety of the ceiling. Since the sky was still bright blue in the late afternoon, the room was lit up in soft sun light. "Wow." She said as she meandered her way inside, her head thrown back, gazing at the sky.

She saw him move across the room in the frays of the field of her vision and she looked over to him, seeing him stand in front of the desk on the opposite side of the room, pulling open a drawer. He turned back around and lifted his arm up, pointing it toward the wall. In a flash, a red couch was falling out of the wall. She jumped, startled by the loud sound of the couch slamming down against the floor. It was worn with age, the stitching along the edges coming apart at some places, the fabric, while still deep red, was faded and stained. With a soft thud, he tossed the remote down against the couch and made his way across the room and over to the twin bed on the other side, against the wall of bookshelves and drawers.

He threw himself down with another heavy sigh with his elbows against his knees, burying his face down into his hands. She had almost forgotten how hard this must be for him. And with this thought, she quietly made her way over to the bed and sat down next to him, just inches away. After a moment of silence, and with him not looking over to her, she laid her head down against his shoulder with a sigh of contentment, letting her eyes drift shut. It was more for her than it was for him, but she knew that her contact somehow made him more at ease, as did his with her.

"I don't have scholarships." He said out of nowhere.

"Huh?" She asked him, lifting her head off his shoulder, but not leaning back. She didn't fully hear him over her daydream.

"When I told my mom that she could live off what I was paying for school with what was left from scholarships. I don't have any scholarships." He said in a low, sad tone. With that, she felt her heart fall into her stomach. "That money was the only thing keeping me in school.

"So..." She began, a whirlwind of scenarios already shooting through her mind, "what are you going to do?"

With another heavy sigh, he fell back against the bed, his eyes looking through the skylight. "Helga," He began, not looking over to her. After a moment, his eyes flicked over to her and he lifted his arm out to her, motioning for her to join him, and she didn't hesitate to lay down along his side, gently laying her head down against his shoulder. She felt a warmth burst through her when she felt his arm go around her shoulders, curling her into him. "What is it you want from life?"

"What do you mean?" She asked him.

"Where do you see yourself after you graduate? What do you want your future to be like?"

She shrugs her shoulders and let her eyes drift shut. "I don't know. Same as anyone else, I guess. Graduate, get a good job. Then some time down the road, maybe get married... start a family." She said with her heart starting to slam against her throat at her spoken words. She left out the part of it being him she marries and it being his children that she bares, but she knew that he would pick up on it. "I don't know, something like that I guess." She said quickly. After a minute of him not offering a retort or response, she moved her head against his shoulder to look up at him. "What about you?"

"I thought I knew." He said, his eyes looking across to the other side of the room, but not at her. "I thought I knew where I wanted to be when this year started. I guess I was just biding time by going to school. Trying to delay the inevitable of my living alone. I thought that I wanted to just be out on my own. Living in some one bedroom apartment by myself, but I knew that that's not what I really wanted because I've had that before, and I was miserable. That's why I went to school. But now..." He trailed off, looking back up at the skylight. "Before now, I had a new future in mind. One that wasn't so miserable and depressing. One that actually ad someone worth wile in it."

"What do you mean before now?" She asked, the feeling bursting apart in her chest at the realization that it was using past tense terms.

"I have to stay, Helga." He said, looking down to her. "I have to stay here and take care of my mother. She needs someone around and it needs to be me."

She pushed herself up to lean against her elbow, giving him a pleading look. "Arnold... are you breaking up with me?" She said with tears already working her way into both her eyes and her voice.

"Don't... ever... say that again." He said seriously. "I'm not throwing away the first good thing that's happened to me in I can't remember how long. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is... I'm not going back to school. I just wanted to know where it was you saw yourself. Because before my mother came into the picture, I think you and I had the same one painted."

Her breath caught slightly at the sight of how seriously he had just said that he too wanted marriage and a family. "So... how are we going to do this?"

"Well, I've never been a fan of long distance relationships. And I don't trust all the other guys on campus not to hit on you."

She felt herself chuckle before averting her eyes, "Being hit on while you're in love is ridiculous."

"What?" He stopped her.

Her eyes widened as a nervous, cold sweat broke out over her skin. "Um..."

He let out a shaky breath and pushed himself up right. "Did you just say... that you're in love with me?"

She swallowed fruitlessly past the lump in her throat and looked away. "Um... kind of." She said with a grimace, preparing herself for it to be thrown back in her face.

She was startled by the feeling of his warm hand reaching up and cupping her cheek, his lips slamming against hers heatedly in the blink of an eye. With their mouths starting to devour one another, she pushed him back against the bed and moved to straddle him, and after a moment, she laid her hands down onto his chest after they had just fisted in his hair, and pushed herself up. "You really love me?" He asked, hair more disheveled than normal.

"More than I thought possible." She said softly, one of her hands reaching up to ghost along his jaw line.

"In that case, I think it's high time I let you know that I've been in love with you for a while."

"How long?" She asked him, not knowing where it came from or where the thought came from that she needed to know.

"I honestly don't know. Mainly because I can't seem to remember my life clearly before you came into it."

Before she could ask for him to continue with his heart felt confession, she felt herself slam her lips against his.