A Mother's Love

Chapter 37

Christine managed to talk to Mike into letting her downstairs Saturday. If he had his way, he would have carried her downstairs but she refused. She was still maintaining the surprise that Mike's old mentor was coming for a visit. Mike was suspicious due to the massive breakfast Lizzie was cooking and the fact that Christine had been so insistent about leaving their bedroom. Adalyn knew about the surprise but they had neglected to tell Hannah due to her inability to keep a secret. At five til nine, the doorbell rang and Mike looked at her suspiciously.

"Were you expecting company?"

"Yes. I just forgot to tell you. It's Jim Patterson. I tracked him down. You'd better go answer the door."

Mike gave Christine a huge smile and headed into the entryway. Christine would hear about it later but she stood up and followed him in. Both Lizzie and Adalyn looked concerned and scared. Mike shot her a look just as he got to the door and swung it open. Jim was standing there with his arms crossed.

"Moving a little slow there, rookie?"

"It's good to see you, Jim! Just didn't want to hurry Christine since she shouldn't even be off the couch."

"Chrissy, you are more beautiful now then you were all those years ago. If you ever get tired of the rookie, I would put myself on the market for you, but only you."

"I'll keep that in mind. Come on in. And thank you."

"Seriously, you're glowing. He's a sight for sore eyes, but not you."

"Geez, Jim, you have no self-respect. She's very married. I'm not letting her go. And yes, I realize she's way out of my league. And yes, she's slumming it with me."

"Just so you know. Let's get you sit down, Chrissy. Mike can help in the kitchen."

"No, thank you, Dad!"

"Yeah, Dad, we got this. Hannah, why don't you go in with them, please?"

"Yeah, sweetie, come in here."

"Can I sit on your lap, Daddy?"

"Yes."

"Mike, it's a good thing she looks like her mother. You are going to be a busy man. Christine told me that two of the babies are girls. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in a couple years."

"It'll probably start when Adalyn and Hannah go to school in the fall. Hannah, this is Mr. Patterson. He was my partner when I was a cop way before you were born."

"Hannah, its Jim. It's nice to meet you. I knew your dad back when he was a mouthy young cop and I was there when your parents met the first time."

"It's nice to meet you too, sir. My mom said that it was love at first sight for her and you made my dad give her his number. Is that true?"

"You bet. But it didn't take a lot of convincing either because your dad was totally smitten too."

"Smitten?"

"Hannah, he means that I had fallen in love with your mom too. I wanted to get to know her better."

"Oh. Mom said that he was her Prince Charming."

"Oh, Hannah. You just gave a dog a bone."

"Daddy, we don't have a dog."

"Yeah, that's a little too syrupy sweet for me. Hannah, maybe you need a puppy?"

"JIM!"

"What, you live on a farm?"

"I want one. We have a kitty. Her name is Snickers but she stays inside. She caught a mouse last week. She put him in my dad's boot for work."

"Is that a fact? Did he scream like a little girl?"

"Kinda. He threw the boot down and Adalyn had to get the mouse out."

"Hannah! In my defense, I had to get to work. I didn't have time to deal with the mouse so I just put a different pair of boots on."

"So, you say. I think Hannah and I are going to get along just fine. Although she does seem a bit partial to you, Mike."

"She's thoroughly a momma's girl."

"She loves her daddy too. She just can't sit in my lap right now."

"I love Daddy but I like Mom best."

"Wow, I feel so much better. Hannah, you're killing me."

"But at least she loves you, Mike."

"Yeah. I suppose. I'm a little hurt, though. Girls, is breakfast ready?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Chrissy, stay put and I'll bring you a plate. Jim, follow me?"

"Hannah, stay here with me."

Mike and Jim headed into the dining room where Lizzie and Adalyn had the food set up. As soon as they were out of earshot, Christine pulled Hannah to her and sit her next to where she was laying.

"Sweetie, I know we were all joking but I think you hurt your daddy's feelings. I know you love him but you kind of implied that you didn't like him." Hannah's eyes filled with tears and her chin was trembling. Christine knew that she hadn't meant it like it sounded but Hannah was also very sensitive and knowing that she had hurt Mike, even not intentionally, broke her heart.

"I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. Is he going to hate me now?"

"No, of course not. He loves you so, so much. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. How do I fix it?"

"My advice is to wait until Jim leaves, and maybe write him a note. He knows you love him and that's the important thing. He's always scared that his relationship with you isn't as good. He's also having some problems because like you are a momma's girl, Addy was a daddy's girl and next week is the first anniversary of her death and Father's Day. He's a little more sensitive."

"I'm really sad."

"Because of Addy or because of what you said to your dad?"

"Both? I didn't mean to make Daddy sadder."

"It's okay, sweetie. Just be a daddy's girl this week. He's really hurting because of Addy."

"Okay but what about you?"

"I'll be okay."

"You'll be sad too?"

"Yes, I will but your daddy is still really hurting and I think the only way that he's going to get through this week is for all of us to love on him. Cuddle with him, spend time with him. Next Sunday is going to be especially hellish. I just realized it but the anniversary of her death also falls on Father's Day. We need to make that day extra special for him."

"Is Daddy going to cry? I've never seen him cry. Have you?"

"Yeah, sweetie, I have. And there is a strong possibility that you'll see it. Remember, you and I got a funeral for Addy but Daddy didn't so he may cry his tears Sunday. He has to go through this."

"What do I do? I don't want him to cry."

"Hug him and just let him do whatever he needs to do. He's held you a ton of times when you cried, now it's your turn to hold him. I think he's going to specifically seek you out. He loves Adalyn and Lizzie but until these babies are born; you're his only biological child that's still living and that he can touch. He is also going to miss Lucas. I know this is putting a lot of pressure on you but I want you prepared for it. We have a week from tomorrow."

"Are we getting Daddy a present?"

"I ordered him something."

"What?"

"I know all about you and your secret keeping. Not happening. But, if you want to make him something special for Father's Day, that's just from you, I'm sure that he'll love it."

"Okay. Can I go eat breakfast?"

"Yes. And please ask for my plate? And give Daddy a hug."

"Okay. I still feel bad."

"I know, baby and I also know you didn't mean it the way it sounded. Just remember to think before you speak because we are all going to be a little sensitive this week. You're daddy especially."

Hannah nodded at her earnestly and then ran into the dining room where Mike and Jim were talking. Lizzie and Adalyn were eating in the kitchen nook. Christine was hungry and feeling a little forgotten about.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"Mommy wants to know where her breakfast is?"

"Oh crud. Jim, give me just a second. Hannah, do you need help with your plate?"

"Can you cut that piece of casserole stuff for me, Daddy?"

"Yep. Where are you eating?"

"With Adalyn and Lizzie?"

"Okay."

Mike dished up both plates and headed into the kitchen nook and living room. He had picked up on Hannah being nervous about something but wasn't sure what. It had hurt a little bit when she said she liked Christine better but Mike had accepted that his relationship with Hannah would always be a little off. Too many deployments and not being home during her formative years had caused issues. He just hoped being home more would help. He settled Hannah next to Adalyn and walked over to Christine with her plate.

"You okay? I could tell you were a little hurt when Hannah said that."

"I suppose. I just wish I could go back in time and develop a more normal relationship with her. It's like I'm a novelty."

"Mike, she loves you and she knows that she hurt you. She didn't mean it the way that it sounded. Just remember that she's a kid without good processing skills."

"I know. Just hurts. If you want to walk into the dining room, I'll help you. You're in here all by yourself."

"It's fine. Its different walls, that's all I care about. Enjoy your time with Jim."

"We're just talking about the investigations. Holler if you need anything or if you want to go up to bed."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too and thank you. It feels good talking to Jim."

"Good, I'm glad. You're welcome. Now, go!"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mike bent down and gave her a kiss and then walked back into the dining room. Christine looked over the back of the couch and noticed the stricken look Hannah had. She thought Mike was mad at her and Christine could see the tears in Hannah's eyes and so she gestured over at her. Hannah ran in and practically through herself at Christine and was immediately crying into her chest and was lying next to her on the couch.

"It's okay, sweetie."

"I made Daddy really mad, didn't I?"

"Daddy isn't mad. He's just visiting with a friend he hasn't seen in a lot of years. He adores you. Yes, he's hurt but not so much that he's mad or that he's stopped loving you."

"I hope not."

"I know it. Now, go finish your breakfast."

"Can I go give Daddy a hug first? I forgot."

"Yes. But remember to let him and Jim talk."

"Okay."

Hannah made her way into the dining room and Mike stopped talking when she came around the table and threw her arms around his neck. He was a little surprised by her sudden display of affection but still welcomed it and pulled her onto his lap.

"What's going on, sweetie?"

"I just wanted to give you a hug. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings earlier."

"It's okay. How about we talk some more later?"

"Okay but I didn't mean to."

"I know. I'm okay."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you more. Now, stop worrying."

"Okay but you can't love me more."

"Don't make any bets on that." Hannah gave him a kiss on the cheek and jumped off his lap, running into the kitchen. Mike had to smile at her and then went back to his conversation with Jim. He had him talking about things that he didn't even know he had an issue with, including his marriage.

"It's amazing that you could produce such a sweet kid."

"Yeah, but she's all Christine."

"Thank God. So, Christine told me that she got caught up in the same ring as those girls. How are you with that?"

"She did what she had to do to keep our child alive. And it was under duress. She feels horribly about it and there are times that everything is a psychological minefield. She sees it that she cheated."

"But you don't? That's the important thing."

"No. I hate what she went through and I feel…guilty. I should have been back home so that I could have protected her from it. And I may have prevented Addy from dying."

"Maybe. Who knows? What's done is done. You can't go back and change it but you can learn from it. You are home now and it sounds like its permanent?"

"Yeah, I have no plans of redeploying. "

"It pretty well ended your career though?"

"More or less. After this investigation is finished; I will move into a training position. Advancement is not likely."

"You had big plans at one point. An Admiral? And being a Captain, you're fairly close, right?"

"Yeah, that was the end goal but when I found Christine and Hannah, Hannah didn't remember me. She was it. My last surviving child and she didn't remember me. That's not the type of father I ever wanted to be. So I pulled the plug. What I didn't plan on was adopting two girls or Chrissy getting pregnant with triplets but the fear is still the same. They need me home."

"I guess the question is; are you going to end up resenting them?"

"I'd love to say no, but I honestly don't know. Chrissy's biggest fear is that I will walk out and I'm sure the knowledge that I've effectively ended my career factors into that."

"But you're standing by your decision?"

"Absolutely. At the end of the day; it won't matter what type of Naval Officer that I've been or what I've done in the Navy. What will matter will be the type of husband and father that I've been. If I had spent as much energy being a better husband and father back before the Red Flu as I spent in advancing my career; Chrissy wouldn't have those fears and Hannah wouldn't just love me, she'd like me too. I also think she is still having trouble remembering me from before."

"But you have time to fix it now?"

"I do. But at a huge cost because Chrissy will always have those physical and emotional scars and Hannah and I may always have an odd relationship."

"Well, I can't give you any parenting advice since I was never one, but I can say; that little girl knows that she is loved by you and that is the most important thing. As far as Chrissy is concerned, no, you can't take those scars or memories away but you can take the fears away. I would say that you are already doing that."

"Slowly but surely. I think having the triplets is helping with that."

"Was that the plan? Triplets?"

"We'd planned on having a baby but not quite so soon. She was waiting on blood work and to gain some weight back but I guess I got in a bit of a hurry and forgot something one night. The blood work came back okay and the pregnancy has helped her gain the weight back. When they were found, Chrissy weighed eighty pounds."

"That's just scary. Now she looks like she might tip over when she stands up. I remember her being pregnant with Addy and thinking she was all belly then, now…wow. But she's the most beautiful pregnant woman I've ever seen."

"I think she's beautiful, pregnant or not. But she's absolutely glowing right now."

"She is. How are you doing since Addy and Lucas died?"

"It's rough. I had pretty well accepted that Lucas had died. I miss him, obviously and his birthday was hard. Next Sunday is the first anniversary of Addy's death and Father's Day. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"It'll be hard."

"Yeah. I'm taking the Monday off after too."

"Probably a good idea. Sunday may leave you wrung out."

"I've been to Addy's grave and Chrissy had Lucas' name put on the headstone. It made is so…real. Having their names literally written in stone. Knowing that that grave is the closest I will ever get to them, at least while I'm alive. Aside from a handful of people, they will not be remembered. I know it's not an uncommon issue now though."

"Unfortunately that's the case. I didn't know your boy but I do remember Addy."

"Lucas was a character. Always playing a practical joke. He was only about five when he died."

"So young. And how old was Addy?"

"Sixteen. She would have been eighteen in September."

"She would have graduated high school and starting college?"

"Yeah but Addy didn't want to go to college. She wanted to join the Navy. She had her mom convinced that she was going to be going to college but Addy had other plans. Chrissy just doesn't know that."

"Always a Daddy's girl."

"Yep. Of course I encouraged her to go to college. I wasn't wild about the Navy idea."

"But you would have been thrilled."

"Oh yeah. It was unlikely but I always dreamed that she and Lucas would both join up and be under my command. It's doubtful that it would have happened."

"Maybe that's why you didn't have a problem going on shore duty. Addy and Lucas didn't survive and it's unlikely that Hannah will want to join the Navy. You'd be past retirement age when the triplets are of age and what about Adalyn and Lizzie?"

"I doubt either of them would want to join. Lizzie has had a pretty rough life even before the Red Flu and has some learning disabilities. Adalyn may have a somewhat normal life."

"Lizzie is an incredible cook."

"She is. She is a sweetheart. Her big goal right now is being able to read to the triplets. And she will. She read Dr. Suess the other night perfectly."

"Did no one ever teach her to read?"

"No. Her mom didn't care enough. Hannah says no one has ever loved Lizzie like we love her."

"She may end up with a normal life. You all have faith in her. That means a lot."

"I think Lizzie's future will be bright. And I am just fine with none of my kids joining the Navy. It's lost its luster for me and I don't want them faced with the same issues I've had."

"But, you aren't retiring?"

"I'm actually just not there yet. Financially speaking, it would be smart to stay in for a couple more years. I've been in for sixteen years. Twenty maybe the goal."

"If you're staying in purely for financial reasons, you're staying in for the wrong reasons. Would you have to get it a different job if you retired now?"

"We could make it. We'd just have to be careful. I love the Navy but my service has costed me a lot. In a lot of ways, I am staying in for financial reasons but my plan is to get this place paid for completely before I retire. I got it cheap and it won't be hard. Then when I do retire; the house and property will be paid for. Chrissy is frugal. With the triplets, she won't be going back to work anytime soon and I'm fine with her not working. As bad as it sounds, yeah, I guess I'm biding my time. The training facility will be easy and I will be home every night."

"You joined the Navy for financial reasons and now you're staying in a career you are less than thrilled with for financial reasons."

"It sounds crazy but yes. I have loved my career and time in the Navy but I will be done at twenty years. I've provided for my family, done some good, seen more of the world than I ever thought possible, met and served with some amazing people who have become family and made a difference. But I've also neglected my own family, killed more people than I even want to count, lived a little too roughly and seen things that you don't want to even imagine. The Red Flu brought out the worst in humanity but it also brought out the best. The worst being what happened to Chrissy, Adalyn and Lizzie but the best being that we got Adalyn and Lizzie and will be able to watch them have a normal life. We get to love them and have two amazing daughters. Yeah, we lost Addy and Lucas and that will never be made right but at least we get to make a difference where Adalyn and Lizzie are concerned."

"Fixate on those two girls. And despite the fact that you and Chrissy have lost so much and been forced to deal with so much; you're a stronger couple with a better marriage. You've managed to create three new babies and still have that sweet little girl in there. It's easy to concentrate on the fact that you've lost so much and seen so much but it's healthier to fixate on what you still have. And even if you are sick of the Navy; you will still be contributing to society. You'll be training tomorrow's soldiers and your experiences, both personally and professionally can help them."

"That's a good point."

"I still make them. I'd better get headed back to my place. Good talk, rookie."

"I stopped being a rookie a long time ago."

"Yeah, you did. I'll go kiss that wife of yours and say bye to those heartbreakers of yours."

"And you'll come back to visit?"

"You act like you never talk to anyone. Yes, I'll come back and when you all have those babies, you can visit too. The highway goes both ways. Chrissy has my information and I do expect a picture of those little ones."

"You'll be the first one I send a picture to. And we'll have to definitely visit."

"Great."

Mike and Jim walked into the living room where Christine and the girls were watching something on TV. Christine started to stand up but Jim gestured for her to stay sitting. Lizzie and Adalyn headed into the dining room to get the dishes to clean up. They hadn't wanted to bother Mike and Jim.

"Chrissy, you have your work cut out for you, putting up with Mike. Best of luck to you. Hannah, your dad and I talked about you all coming for a visit once those babies are born, I'll have a litter of puppies by then, I'm sure. You can pick one."

"Gee, thanks, Jim."

"Hey, now. This is between me and Hannah and given how much she's grinning, she's in agreement."

"Yeah, Daddy!"

"Besides a dog would be good around here. German Shepherd?"

"Okay, as long as it's not some little ankle biter."

"German Shepherds are good dogs. Good with little kids too. Protective."

"Yeah. Hannah, can you give Jim a hug? Chrissy, I'll help you up."

Hannah gave Jim a hug and talked for a minute while Mike helped Christine off the couch. He knew she would want to see Jim out. When she was finally semi steady on her feet but with Mike's arm securely around her to help her balance, Jim gave her a kiss on the cheek and a huge hug. The babies were all kicking strongly and it made him laugh. Christine almost hated to see him go because Mike seemed more lighthearted than he had in weeks, even months. He had bent over and picked Hannah up and was whispering something in her ear which had her smiling and nodding. They made their way to the front door to see Jim off and Mike finally sit Hannah down and gave Jim a hug.

Jim had left and Christine needed help getting up to their bed and Hannah seemed clingy. After getting Christine settled, Hannah handed him a folded up piece of paper and gave Mike a kiss on his cheek. She had run downstairs and Christine winked at him.

"She felt really bad knowing she hurt you. She's decided you are her 'buddy.'"

"Buddy?"

"Yeah. Read the note, Mike. I think I'm going to take a nap. The babies and I are tired."

"You okay?"

"Yep. All good. Read."

"Alright. Thank you for finding Jim. It did a lot of good to talk to him. I love you."

"I knew it would help. I love you too." Mike helped Christine turn on her side and rubbed her shoulders until he could hear her breathing even out. He opened Hannah's note and instantly smiled. There were happy faces, hearts and stars all over the paper along with a short paragraph.

"Daddy,

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings this morning. I love you but you're also my best buddy. I know you really miss Addy right now and I miss her too. I want to make you feel better so I'll start being a better Daddy's girl. I'll even go fishing with you, if you'll put the yucky worm on the hook and I don't want to touch the fish.

I love you and I like you a whole bunch,

Hannah"

Mike grinned at the note. It was sweet and very like Hannah. He wouldn't force her to fish since she was so opposed to touching the worms or the fish but the fact that she wanted to just spend the time with him made him feel a lot better. The whole day had made him feel a lot better.