Liara

Shiala's eyes widened as we approached, as she took in Shepard's armor, the N7 insignia standing out prominently on her chest.

"A human, Liara?" she asked. "What has the galaxy come to?"

Shepard's brow raised at the disdain in Shiala's voice and she looked to me. "Benezia finds humans contemptible." I replied, forced to blush in shame. I wondered if hearing my mother's tirades against the difficulty of incorporating an "un-evolved" race had colored my perception at all. If it were I who was the xenophobe, and not the crew of the Alliance.

"Okay." Shepard acknowledged the words with no hint of chagrin. "I'm not surprised."

I told him to find a heart…I remembered Shepard's remorseless, emotionless words after shooting Jeong. Perhaps humans found each other contemptible as well.

"Shiala," I spoke. "This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance Navy and Garrus Vakarian of Citadel Security."

"You have found strange company for yourself, Liara." Shiala's eyes did not stray to the other two. She looked only at me, the emotion in her eyes cold and judgmental. Without provocation, it turned to grief. "But I understand." she turned to Shepard. "I can only assume that you come here seeking Saren, commander."

"That's right." she answered. "I'd appreciate knowing what happened here."

Shiala lowered her head and looked at me. "I am sorry, child." she whispered, and my heart began to crack. "Benezia foresaw Saren's betrayal of the galaxy." she added, stunning me.

"Foresaw?" Shepard asked, looking from me to Shiala. "Is this some asari gift I don't know about?"

"Matriarch Benezia is the wisest of us all." Shiala came to my mother's defense, as she had for centuries. "It is not an innate 'gift', as you say, but a skill honed by centuries of cautious waiting and observation. Benezia could sense the impending change, and the darkness it would lead to. She went to Saren in order to turn him from his ways. She wished to dissuade him from a path of destruction."

Mother…what changed? Shiala's words ring with truth but…

"She allowed those who followed her to leave if we so chose." Shiala spoke, her words tinged with regret. "Many of us did, but you know, Liara…my place is at your mother's side."

I know, Shiala. I know you always loved her.

"What happened, Shiala?" Shepard asked, her arms crossed, her lips pursed in contemplation.

"Saren is…Saren is enormously powerful." she said, almost a whisper. "He is charismatic, and eloquent, but it is not his own power that moves him. He speaks for another, and works for another. And against those who master Saren, Benezia had not enough strength."

"Saren is not working independently?" Garrus asked, at last entering the conversation.

"No." Shiala shook her head. "It is his flagship…it has a name, it has a voice, it has a power. It calls itself Sovereign. Its voice can infiltrate your mind, place thoughts and devotions there that did not previously exist. It is Sovereign that brought us to the Old Growth. It is Sovereign that controls Benezia; that bends her to its will and to Saren's, for they seem to be one and the same."

"A sentient machine?" Garrus scoffed. "Now I have heard everything."

"No." Shepard winced and her hand went to her forehead. "It…it makes sense."

"Shepard, what's wrong?" I went to her as her face creased further with pain and sweat broke out on her forehead.

"Nothing." she shrugged off the gentle hand I placed on her shoulder. "Just…trying to make sense of things." she dropped her hand back down and looked at Shiala. "What did Saren…or Sovereign…want with the Thorian?"

"It has knowledge unsurpassed." Shiala answered, and my heart screamed with the truth of my mother's actions and what I had feared…that I had been the destroyer of a vast wealth of wisdom and information. "The Thorian is unique in the galaxy; it has been here longer than fifty thousand years. It survived whatever wiped the Protheans from the face of the galaxy. And as they disintegrated into the earth, it absorbed them. Part of the Protheans lived within the Thorian, their knowledge, their memories, their minds."

"Why did Saren seek this knowledge?" I asked.

"He, too, touched the beacon on Eden Prime." Shiala looked at Shepard, an absolute misery in her eyes. "But Saren had Sovereign's protection; he was not affected as you were. The beacon was made for a Prothean body, a Prothean mind. In order to understand the vision, Saren had to come to the Thorian, the last living vestige of the Prothean's existence."

Oh Goddess! I exclaimed within my thoughts, feeling grief rush over me. I, who have done nothing but seek them from the beginning, have destroyed the last bastion of the living Protheans! No. No…what am I becoming? I looked at Shepard. She seemed to carry no grief, for her mission pulled her forward, to find Saren, to end his threat to the galaxy. Let enemies fall in her wake. Let wanton destruction be the order of the day. Let nothing stand in the way of victory.

"I need the information Saren received." Shepard spoke, continuing in her dedication. "I saw the same vision; I need the same answers. How did he get them?"

"He made a trade." Shiala looked at the ground. "Me for the Cipher, as it was called…the essence of the Prothean mind, the ability to translate what your and Saren's mind cannot. I melded with the Thorian…all that you need to know to understand your vision is locked within my mind."

"Shiala, why?" I asked, confused and hurt that the asari who had been such a strong presence in my life would allow herself to be bent to the will of another. "Why would you do such a thing?"

Shiala bit her lip and looked into the far distance of another time, before Saren, before Sovereign, before the Thorian and Feros and trading her life for the enemy's success. "Benezia asked it of me." she whispered.

Oh, Shiala…

"Commander," my teacher turned to Shepard, "I can give you this information. By killing the Thorian, you've severed my link to it, and in turn my link with Saren. My mind is my own once more. I can help you, if you will allow it."

"You're saying…" Shepard swallowed, "…a meld?"

Shiala nodded and the commander looked to me. I could see the fear in her eyes, fear that it would be as disastrous as when we joined our minds. "Liara…is it…"

"It will be safe." I assured her and Garrus' head snapped in our direction. "Shiala is exceedingly skilled. You will come to no harm, and she will know nothing of you that you do not wish her to."

Shepard closed her eyes and sighed. "All right." she relented. "Do whatever you need to do."

"Look at me." Shiala ordered, and the commander looked up. My former teacher drew back, as alarmed by the color and storms swirling in Shepard's eyes as I had been upon meeting her. But Shiala regained her composure and spoke. "Let the worlds intertwine between us." she said. "Let galaxies and stars and beginnings fade. From ocean unto ocean, from star unto star, let the world unravel. In this moment, you and I stand in solidarity. In this moment, you have asked, and I have answered. Look into my eyes, and embrace eternity!"

Shiala's eyes went black and Shepard jerked as she entered the meld. I felt saddened as I watched the exchange, a slight envy creeping into my heart as I realized all of the knowledge that passed between them.

All that I have ever sought goes to another. All that I have ever dreamed, Shiala places into Shepard's hands. And I will never ask for it, not after what passed between us the first time. These are my dreams realized, I shed a single tear for what I had lost as the meld broke and Shepard stumbled backwards.

I shored her up, feeling the solidity of the body beneath her armor, the heat and fervor that I had witnessed in her. So many secrets, locked in a scarred, short-lived frame. She knew of my past as I knew of hers…but I knew things of her that she did not know of me. I knew that what I had seen in her mind haunted her, that it molded her in all things experienced…that the red of her blood was the color that defined her life. Passion. Intensity. Warning.

"Are you all right?" Garrus asked.

"For taking a sledgehammer to my head, yeah." Shepard muttered, regaining her feet, leaving my arms.

"Is there…do you know anything more?" I inquired, anxious to know, recalling the flash of the vision in my own mind, the clamor and the chaos and the disjointed pieces of information.

"Yes and no." Shepard answered. "It's all clearer…but I still can't make heads or tails of it."

"Your mind has been altered by the beacon." Shiala said. "And you will find it more so altered by the Cipher."

"We need to get back to the Normandy." Garrus stated. "So that you can be properly monitored. I'd say our work here is done."

"Not yet." Shepard looked at Shiala. "There's still the matter of what to do with you."

I looked at my instructor, an entreaty in my eyes. I alone knew that she could remove Shepard from this world with a single biotic pulse. I alone knew that if she submitted, it would be out of respect, it would be out of repentance…not out of fear or intimidation.

"I understand, commander." Shiala said. "I was allied with your enemy, for a time. My word is questionable at best. But all I desire to do is return to the colonists and help them rebuild…my presence here has harmed them. Once Saren had possession of the Cipher, he sent the geth to destroy the Thorian and all records of it. So that you, his enemy, would not find out."

"That explains that." Shepard mused, considering Shiala's contrition. Again, she looked to me, trusting my judgment.

I nodded my assent and the commander's shoulders relaxed.

"Do what you can for them." Shepard agreed, giving Shiala her life back. "And promise me that you will not seek out Benezia."

"I will not." my teacher's lips quivered. "She is…she is no longer who she once was."

"All right then." Shepard nodded. "Liara, Garrus, we're going back to the Normandy. Our work here is done."

Shepard turned and Garrus followed. I remained behind, looking at Shiala, knowing that her heart was broken. Her soul had been damaged by this, by following Benezia in her altruism and finding herself taken captive and traded as though she were worth nothing.

"Come with us." I offered. "At least back to the colony."

"No." she shook her head. "I need..." she looked at the pulp of what had been the Thorian, "...I need some time to grieve. You are young still, Liara, it is all right if you..."

"I do understand." I interrupted. "I...I hope we meet again, Shiala."

Shiala wrapped me in a tight embrace, holding me as close as though I were her own child. "Find your way, Little Wing." she used my mother's term of affection for me, and tears stung my eyes. "And forgive her. Please, forgive her."

I pulled away, unable to formulate words of farewell. I followed Shepard and Garrus, refusing to look back to the reminder of my former life…a life I could no longer return to. The pieces of the board had been scattered and broken.

Forgive her. Please, forgive her. The words burned deep into my heart, into the cracks of sorrow, splitting them yet further, threatening to break me. So much has changed, I listened to Shiala's quiet weeping behind me as we walked up the stairs. So much remains the same.