Rational Treasure (Part 3)
(Back with the gang...)
It was cold and cramped inside of the moving train, Stan, Ford, Heather, and Fids were trapped in a large wooden crate along with Quentin Trembley's body. Several other government secrets surrounded them, but the four were more interested in getting out! They banged on the wood and yelled for help, but no one heard them. Giving up on that plan, Stan leaned against the crate and slid onto the ground, "I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers," he groaned. "This is all my fault. Preston was right all along… I'm nothing but a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name."
Stanley broke off a piece of peanut brittle from the block and tried to eat it, until Ford stopped him, "What part of 'braces' don't you get, Stanley? Don't eat that! Not to mention that thing's over a hundred years old!"
"Nag, nag, nag," he bit into it anyway.
Ford goes to argue some more, but heather stops him.
"He needs some comfort food." She assured him. "He thinks us getting caught is all his fault."
Ford sighed. "I know but-" He began, only to be interrupted by Fids.
"Uh guys?"
Everyone turned back to the block of peanut brittle to see it was cracking.
The boys screamed and ran to the other corner of the crate. Trembley broke out of his peanut brittle prison, "It is I, Quentin Trembley," he declared. The founder ripped off his pants.
"You're alive!" Stanford exclaimed. "But how?"
Stanley picked up a broken piece of peanut brittle, "It's the peanut brittle! It really does have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're a genius!"
"And so are you, dear boy, for following my clues are freeing me from my delicious tomb!" Trembley said.
"He's right!" Ford turned to his brother. "Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!"
Stan gasped and held his cheeks, "I did, didn't I?"
"Wait how did he know Stan was the one who solved all those clues?" Heather asked.
"That's just creepy." Fids admitted.
"By Jefferson!" Trembley exclaimed. "We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box."
"It's a crate, Mr. President," Stanley said smiling.
The president pulled out a large key, "Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!" He repeatedly slammed it into the side of the crate.
Stanford held up a finger, "I… don't think that's going to work…"
"Maybe he is slightly crazy." Fids wagered.
"Slightly?" Heather asked.
"Wood! My age-old enemy," Trembley turned to the kids. "In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."
Ford crossed his arms behind his back, "I think I know who can help you," he smiled at Stanley.
Stanley thought for a moment and looked around the crate, "Hmm. How about… that hole?" he pointed at a tiny hole near the corner of the crate.
"We will leap through it!" Trembley declared. He and Stanley jumped at the hole to try to squeeze through it, but all they managed to do was stick a finger through the hole. "Almost. Almost there. Good! Keep pushing," the president said, giving Stan words of encouragement.
Ford and the others watched their futile attempt to escape from the other corner and frowned, "Guys… I'm not sure this is working."
"Yeah maybe we need a more thought out plan." Heather suggested.
"Trust… the silliness!" Stan exclaimed.
The sound of a woodpecker pecking on wood was heard, "Is that my third wife?" Trembley asked. "Sandy?" The crate fell apart, much to the Kids' relief.
Trembley huffed. "Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!"
"Forget about that! We have to get out of here!" Ford yelled taking the lead with his brother and friends not too far behind.
"Also good!" The president followed them.
Stanford opened a door in the train, but stopped when he saw Deputy Durland in front of him, who was getting a large amount of ice from a machine. He gasped when he saw the three of them and dropped the bucket of ice, "Blubs!"
They ran away to look for another exit before the police officers got to them. Ford found an emergency escape on the roof of the train car and they climbed up the ladder, but as they reached the opening, Trembley pulled out his President's Key to try to open it even though there wasn't a lock.
"Okay that guy is defiantly missing some marbles." Fids said.
"Our ancestries are worse." Heather pointed out. "Land slide or not this guy should have never been president."
"Agreed." Stanley said.
Ford took the key from Trembley, "Give me that!" He turned the handle, and they climbed on the roof of the train car. The police officers followed them up, and Stanford looked behind him to see that they were on the last car. They were trapped.
Sheriff Blubs took out his cuffs and approached them cautiously, "You kids are in a heap of trouble."
"But Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" Stanford asked.
"Yeah we're just kids." Stan added.
"Stupid kids." Fids chimed in.
"Stupid Kids that stumbled upon a huge conspiracy." Heather reminded them.
Her friends gave her a look.
She shrugged. "What it's true."
"Not helping." Ford whispered.
"Look we like you kids." Durland admitted.
"But we don't have a choice!" Blubs cut him off. "Our orders come from the very top!"
An idea popped in Ford's mind, "Wait!" He turned to the town founder. "Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?"
"No, sir," he answered. "I ate a salamander and jumped out the window."
"But then that means…" Stanley gasped. "You're still the President of the United States, right?"
Stanford fixed his glasses, "Well, I suppose technically, yeah," he turned to Blubs and Durland. "Quentin Trembley is legally your boss, and you have to answer to him now!" He exclaimed.
"Huh?" The officers shared confused looks.
"Seriously?" Fids yelled. "They didn't even make sure he was legally not the president anymore?"
"I fear for this countries future." Heather admitted.
Trembley stepped forward, "As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And- and go on a delightful vacation," the train drove under a metal rail that struck him in the back of the head. "Ow! Mmm yeeees!"
"Vacation?" The cops looked at each other questionably, and they smiled in unison, and soon they were singing and dancing about some water park.
"It's official." Ford said. "This entire town is crazy."
"Told you." Heather teased.
Later, the twins, and Trembley along with heather and Fids had returned safely to the Gravity Falls train station, and the train left, with the police officers on board, all packed and ready for their vacation.
"Michigan, here we come!" Declared Deputy Durland. They waved their good-byes to them until they were out of sight.
Trembley turned to the kids, "I don't believe I learned your names," he commented.
"Stanley Pines, at your service," he smiled and shook the man's hand.
The president got down on one knee and looked at him, "You've already done a great service, Stanley. Not only for myself, but also for this country. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman," he unfolded a black top hat and handed it to Stanley.
He placed the hat on his head and smiled, "I'm legalizing everything!"
"It's a dark day for America." Heather teased, and Fids laughed.
Trembley turned to Stanford, "And other Stanley…"
"Uh, actually, I-I'm-"
"You, dear boy, are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So I'd like you to have my President's Key," he handed the large key to Ford, who smiled at the kind gesture.
Trembley then turned to Heather and Fids. "And you two..."
Heather goes to introduce herself only for him to say...
"Lesser important characters."
"Hey!" Heather exclaimed outraged.
Stan and Ford did their best to quiet their laughter.
"I have no doubt that you will always be by our hero's' sides in this time of great need." Trembley concluded.
Fids crossed his arms in defeat. "How come they always get all the glory?"
(Later that day...)
"-And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk," Trembley finished.
Stanley smiled, thoroughly enjoying Trembley's stories he told to pass the time, "Agreed."
They finally made their way back to the main street, where the celebration was still going on as if nothing happened. Preston could be seen with some friends, being a typical snot to a younger kid. Once he was alone, Stanley approached him smugly with Quentin Trembley his brother, and friends shortly behind him.
"Hey, Preston!" he waved. "I just uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?"
Preston hesitated, thinking about what he just said, "What?" He looked behind Stanley, where Trembley was chasing after a bald eagle, intending to fight it. "Who is that idiot?"
"Sir Lord, Quentin Trembley the third, esquire," Stanley answered. "The eighth-and-a-half president of America. How is he alive, you ask? Well, it turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it-"
The other boy broke out in laughter, interrupting Stan, "Wow! You really are a stupid little kid. What's with the dumb hat anyway?" he teased.
"It's not dumb!" Fids argued.
"Yeah he's a congressman!" Heather added only to realize that she really did sound dumb. "Great." She muttered.
"Preston Northwest!" A voice exclaimed. The boy stopped laughing and turned around to see his mother. She was frowning angrily at him. "What did I tell you about your behavior?" She asked.
Preston looked back between his mother and Stanley, "B-but Mom!"
"No buts. Except for yours in the limo. We're leaving," she asserted. Preston grumbled and reluctantly left to do what he was told. Once he was gone, Mrs. Northwest turned to the other boys. "I'm incredibly sorry about my son. I'm sure you'll be great friends eventually," she grabbed each their hands and shook it. "Pacifica Northwest. I believe you kids are Mabel's nephews."
"You know our Grauntie Mabel?" Ford asked.
"Of course I do," she smiled. "By the way, where is she?"
The twins glanced at each other, "I think she said she was at the candle dipping booth," Stan answered.
"Oh, is she, now?" Mrs. Northwest laughed. "Then she wouldn't want to be bothered right now, would she? Well, it was nice to meet you boys," she left to join her son in the limo.
"Wow how is she related to that jerk?" Fids asked in disbelief.
"Some kids just don't know a good thing when they have it." Heather assured him.
Stanford blinked in confusion and held up the document to Stanley, "Uh, Stan? Aren't you gonna tell him about his ate-gray ampa-gray?"
"You know, Stanford, I don't really want to do that now," Stanley admitted. "Besides, I've got nothing to prove. I learned that being myself is awesome!"
Ford frowned and glared at the limo that was beginning to drive off, "Well, I haven't learned anything!" He ran to the Northwest's' car. "HEY, PRESTON!"
The car stopped and Preston rolled down his window, "What do YOU want?" he asked bitterly.
Stanford handed him the documents of the cover-up through the window, "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!"
The limo drove away, but Ford could see Preston's shocked expression through the back window, "What?! Mom!"
Ford smiled, feeling accomplished, "That actually felt good," he turned to Stan, who had caught up to him. "Who knew revenge was so underrated, am I right?"
Stanley gave his brother a playful punch on the arm, "You're such a dork."
The kids laughed, but they were interrupted when Trembley spoke, "Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here…" he gestured to his heart, but then he pulled out a bill from a pocket in his coat. "On the negative twelve dollar bill," he handed the money to Ford.
He examined it, "Whoa. This is worthless," he smiled.
"It's less than worthless, my boy. Trembley away!" Quentin Trembley jumped backwards onto a horse that just happened to be standing nearby and rode away.
After a short moment, Stanley spoke up, "Where do you think he's going?"
"I'm gonna say… off a cliff," he guessed. Ford looked at the sky and noticed that the sun was setting. "Let's find Grauntie Mabel."
It was a shock for all of them when they finally found Mabel trapped in the stocks in the town square. The kids listened to the whole story of her imprisonment.
"-And then Maria came by and talked to me for like, an hour. Eventually, the guy at the booth said he would let me go if I said I was sorry, but in no way was I going to apologize for art," she finished.
Stanley placed his hand on her shoulder, "You've been through so much," he sympathized.
"This is defiantly illegal." Heather added.
"Here, let me try something," Stanford offered. He took out the President's Key to unlock the stocks and free Grauntie Mabel. "It works!" he exclaimed happily.
She laughed, "Thank Sweet Baby Moses! You kids really are something, aren't ya? Where'd you get that key? And the top hat?" Mabel asked.
"They're souvenirs!" Stanley answered. "From the eighth-and-a-half president! He made me an official congressman!"
"Hmm, I don't remember that attraction," Grauntie Mabel thought to herself. She checked the time. "Oh, well. Looks like I'll have to wait until next year to see it."
Heather raised her hand to voice that it was not an attraction but an actual person when Ford shook his head.
"It's gettin' late, kiddos." Mabel cut in.
The Kids looked around to see that she was right. The sky was getting dark, shops were closing, and people were leaving. Stanley broke out a yawn, and Grauntie Mabel hoisted him up on her shoulders. "Let's go I've got to get Heather and Fids home too you know."
As they walked to the car, it started to get chilly, and Stanley grabbed his sweater from around his waist and slipped it on, "Hey, you're wearing your sweater again," Stanford pointed out.
Grauntie Mabel smiled up at her nephew, "You feel better, sweetie?" Stanley nodded and smiled contently. "You are a special boy," she said. "No matter what anyone says, you are your own unique mark on this world. You are not weird, Stanley. The same goes for you too, Ford," she turned to the other twin. "Both of you. I couldn't have asked for better grandnephews than you two."
"I'm also a silly goofball," Stanley giggled with his eyes closed. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."
"What are we?" Fids asked Heather. "Chopped liver?"
Heather gave him a hard punch and shushed him. "Can't you see their having a moment?"
Ford smiled too, all and all today was a great day, still one thing didn't add up to him, he looked back down at the paper that Stan had folded into a hat. he knew it said something about the Preston family, if only he could decoded it's ancient language.
A large shadow of a triangle loomed behind him sinisterly as they continued on their way.
"I've got to do something about this kid." The beast with one eye whispered.
The boy was getting to close for comfort and the beast could not afford another set back. He smiled as his eye felon the sweatier twin. "It's a good thing I know exactly how to distract "their kind." He laughed knowingly to himself.
Ford stopped and turned around quickly as he thought he heard the faintest whisper, but nothing was there, he shrugged and continued on his way, never knowing that the enemy was in arms length the whole time.
"I'll beat you Stanford Pines." The beast vowed. "And then this world will be mine..."
-To be Continued