Another day sleeping and still it didn't feel like she had enough. She rolled in bed and she loved the sensation of the fur rubbing gently against her skin. She slept naked every night, remembering the touch of his bed on her body, a thrill she tried to forget; but now, like a spoiled child, she rediscovered the pleasure of indulging in this forbidden sea of emotions. She felt a secret joy to know that she was free to experience it again and she lavished on it, with such unrecognizable want and hunger. She kept her eyes closed, keeping warm, with the furs pulled up to her chin and her hair spread all around in a messy tangle. She breathed in and out, slowly listening to the sound. She inhaled and exhaled her happiness and her breathing helped slow the heart beats and cool down her brain; she was overpowered with emotions and she struggled to get a hold of herself. She boiled with an incredible bliss; so much that she feared her skin was glowing from the excitement. She was radiant and it was amazing to her that she could change the state of her feelings so quickly. Maybe Adelia was right and she had grown up so much faster, becoming more conscious of her emotional changes, acknowledging them better and quicker. She was impatient; she wanted to get to him faster, but she'd have to wait for at least another week more.

Her smile faded away slowly. It still hurt to leave her people behind, but she had to urge herself to stop being so dual in her feelings. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to focus on the reality at hand; and the reality was she was no longer part of her former life; she was, hopefully part of something better. Achilles… she was scared about seeing him; about telling him the truth. What if it was all in her head and he never meant more than what he had already given her? A night together; a moment in time. What then? Achilles could easily find a replacement; he didn't even need to ask because women were throwing themselves at him. She felt like a stupid little girl. Why would he ever choose her to spend the rest of his life with, when he could always have fresh meat? But he gave me more, I know he did… She ran her hands on her breasts, down the rib cage and on her belly. She shifted position under the blanket, straightening her back, drifting away in her thinking. Her back still hurt every now and then and she still felt sick most of the time. She was worried. She did not want to be sick now when she had something so important coming her way. She needed to be strong and have enough courage to face him. Achilles may have turned her invincible in the eyes of the world, but she was nothing but a leaf in the wind when she stood before him. Her hands ran back up her skin and circling the soft curves of her breasts. Her eyes opened searching aimlessly at the ceiling in the chalky light. Her fingertips ran down and around the round globes, pressing gently. She didn't remember them feeling so hard and round; and painful. And it wasn't that time of the month either.

Time stopped for a second when she thought about it and instantaneously her mind jerked away from it. But she couldn't shake it off. Her thoughts ran wild trying to remember when she had her period the last time. She was never worried about; she never really kept track of it. And with everything that had happened, it had all been so confusing, her health had taken a bad turn and her period was either missing or coming in too soon; she couldn't tell anymore. She couldn't remember and she felt frightened not being able to explain her constant sickness as of lately; Adelia was right – she had never really been a sick child; never had much trouble with diseases even as an adult. Could it be possible? But she'd been with Hector for almost three months and nothing happened… so… now, just like that? She got up suddenly, holding tight to the covers, breathing heavily. She wished she had paid more attention to Adelia's late night conversations with the younger women in the house. She taught them so many things about life, men, pregnancy and raising children. But she never really listened. She had other more urgent issues on her mind than thinking about conceiving children when there was no man for her; not anywhere close! Her eyes closed and they hurt with how hard the veins in her eyelids and temples pulsated. A sudden scream of panic burst behind the closed eyelids mocking at her ignorance! She threw the covers away and stepped lightly on the wooden floor of the boat. She moved carefully to keep her fragile balance because the belly of the ship kept shifting gently rocked by the Aegean waves. She stopped in the middle of the room shivering a bit from the cold. It was probably late morning, a week and a half after leaving Troy. She turned around looking for something to look into and she found a shield, massive and shiny, supported against one of the pylons. She felt ridiculous with her sudden want to take a look at herself, but she couldn't fight the urge. She took the shield and dragged it closer to the light coming through the small hatches in the walls. She pushed it against a crate and struggled a bit to position it so she could have a better look. Her heart raced madly knowing that she was walking around naked under the deck when a handful of men swarmed above her head, with their heavy steps and thick laughter. She stopped several times listening carefully to their movement, always peaking at the door to be prepared if someone came in.

She finally was happy with how she placed the shield and took a step back looking at her reflection. It was distorted by the gruffly shaped metal but it was good enough for what she needed. She paced slowly in the beginning not knowing what to look for. Inevitably, she first looked at her belly, tilting her head right to left to perceive the difference. She was so skinny, her shoulders and knees looked almost like a skeleton wrapped in skin and a little muscle; she grimaced at the image and came closer inspecting her legs. A bunch of bruises and cuts from the tall grass and many branches she had dragged her feet through while running around mad in the Trojan camp. Her thighs had taken the worst blow after so many hours of continuous riding with Heffe. The last bruises were finally healing, but they still looked all sick and disgusting. She passed her fingers gently on top of them without pressing fearing they would still hurt. She took a step back turning her attention back to her breasts, looking down on them. They were harder, rounder and fuller. She pushed them up and she felt ridiculous for behaving like a frustrated teenage girl, too obsessed with not showing or not having enough to show. But she remembered the reasons of her frustration were significantly more important than those of a hormonal teenager. She let them drop slowly and they bounced back gently; because of the chilly morning her nipples had swollen and darkened in color and she blushed remembering Achilles nibbling on them. The feeling of his mouth on her released memories in her body so alive and raw, it made her legs curl to suppress the desire. She swallowed with difficulty, trying to focus. She looked down at her belly again and it did stand out a bit; a bit more from where she was looking at it. Her heart skipped a bit. She looked at the shield again and at the image staring back at her. She turned around gradually, not wanting to reveal the truth at once. And as she did she sucked it in, straightening her back, holding her breath. What are you doing? The girl in the mirror looked like a stick; like a stick with beautiful perfect breasts. She forgot about her belly for a moment staring at those white globes thinking she'd never really looked at herself that way. And she let the air out and her hands fell to the side of her body, her back relaxing into a more normal position.

And there it was; why did she not see it? Maybe because she always wore black and her dresses were rather large and she was so skinny! But there it was and whatever panic was in her transformed into an incredible painful joy. Her stomach stood out, swollen in the lower abdomen, round and motionless. Was there life in there? It wasn't much, but still she was afraid to touch it because she knew how it would feel.

"So much talk for nothing! So many wasted words, thrown to the four winds!" Adelia rushed into the kitchen wiping her hands off, angry and disappointed. Aalexia watched her silently peeling the potatoes. She worried at night thinking that Adelia might be right about Samira's sickness; and not because she did not want another child in the house, but because it was so hard making a living. Another mouth to feed could be such a burden! Yet she admonished herself the instant she thought of things that way! A child was a blessing, and one more little soul in the house could only be joy and a reason more to fight for another day. But beyond and above her genuine love for children and care for her people, her eyes remained sad. We, mortals are such selfish and cruel creatures and the true intentions of our hearts are undeniable, despite our best wishes, logic and reasons! Despite what we've been taught and regardless of whether we admit to them or not; it's a struggle not to be mean; the Gods are using us as urns for their evilness and it is up to us to decide how much of it we surface… but we are all bad and we make of the world our arena to play the Gods' dirty games of fate! Aalexia watched the fire burning for a moment, lost in the words of her father. They must be placing bets to see how many mortals could actually prove themselves worthy of the Elysian Fields after they've cultivated all their bad seed in our souls since birth… what a gift!

She looked at Adelia grabbing the garlic from above the stove, smashing it with the knife handle against the wooden table. She always did that when she was angry; she didn't have the patience to peel each clove in turn. She blew the flakes away and threw the cloves in the mortar, grinding it thoroughly.

"So it's true…" and she smiled unwillingly. Maybe she wasn't such a bad human being after all! Adelia groaned, pressing down the pestle. "It's alright Adelia. It's no use arguing about it now. She needs to calm down and… and we will take things as they come!" Adelia speared her nervously.

"Mindless girl! I told her, and you, and to the rest of these young amazons in the house, to be careful with men! They are nothing but birds of prey; owls they are! They only seek one thing: to feast on the weak!" Aalexia agreed with her, but she knew those owls displayed tempting plumage and the call was irresistible for the unknowing naïve girls.

"It's easy straying…"

"Straying!" and the old woman's voice got so steep it almost screamed out the words. "Straying is holding hands and leaving the shelter of the mansion at night to cuddle in the barn! Straying is kissing and smooching like monkeys! Putting yourself on a plate to be served for dinner is not straying! It's stupid! And I taught you all better than that!"

Aalexia was caught in between laughing and sighing. Adelia was right but things were never that simple.

"She was not naïve, she was in love. And she still suffers because of that. So don't make it worse on her!"

"I'm not making it worse on her! She has done a great job herself! Now she will have this child to remind her for ever of… of her love! Pfff!" Aalexia shook her head and went to grab Adelia by the shoulders.

"Don't judge her so harshly! I know she's already in pain with the entire situation as it is. I am not here to tell her what's right or wrong and neither should you."

"Maybe not me, but you should! Because she is not going to feed this child on her own! She will do it with your help and without it, she wouldn't make it out there!"

"She wouldn't make it without our help Adelia! Just like I wouldn't have made it without all of yours either…" She let go and turned towards the fire, carefully removing the lid from the boiling pot. "I know she was wrong giving herself to Axel, but what's done is done. Who knows, maybe I would have behaved the same way if I felt like she does about him. Life can make you act quite unpredictable, against all of your beliefs…" and she smiled realizing how she was forced to take decisions she never even believed to be possible before life placed her in hot spots.

"You are not like her! She was selfish not thinking about the consequences of her deeds! It's not just her and the baby, but everyone else in this house will have to make efforts to support them both!" Aalexia followed her to the table and they both sat down and the old lady sighed not feeling ready for another baby crying in the mansion. She nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I am too old to keep raising babies… They take all of my energy!"

Aalexia giggled.

"You have so much to give!" Adelia looked at her in a mild reproach, enjoying the mistress's hand on her shoulder. "Now, what must we do to take care of our young mother to be?" Adelia puffed again, going back to her dispiriting attitude.

"Well, I guess she won't be able to do any heavy work from now on. Soon enough she will have back pains with the weight of the growing belly. And less tea for her; just linden tea with honey. And no more sea fish."

"But she loves that!"

"And it's cheap too!" Adelia should have been the treasurer to the royal palace. No one knew numbers better than she did. Aalexia smiled thinking how she hated keeping track of the money; but they had so little of it that it didn't take much to make the calculations.

"Well, we will make an effort…" Aalexia smiled tapping gently on the wood.

"Ihm… She can have some fish, but not any fish. Not the cheap one." And she was displeased with the idea.

"Why? Fish is good! And Heffe always brings it fresh from down the cliffs; he meets with this new fisherman there… he made us a better deal than old Arcantos did!"

"I know it's fresh! But it's poisonous for the baby!"

"How can you tell?" Adelia looked at her reprovingly.

"I've lived long enough to deliver many babies into this world. And I've seen some scary things happening to children who were born on the shore, with their mothers being fed only fish or too much of it. They say they are poisonous to the pregnant women and there's no smoke without a fire, so I'd rather not take the chance to see it happen in this house!"

"So what fish do we take?" Alexia watched her interested but her aid took her time in remembering. It had been at least five or six years since she'd thought of such things. That's how old the last baby born in the house was.

"Don't take…hmm… tuna and… mackerel… I know there was something else but I can't remember!" Aalexia made a note in her head to remember that. Then smiled thinking that usually that was all the fish they could afford.

"We'll find something good for her… but I don't remember you forbidding Hestia to eat fish when she was pregnant!"

"You don't remember because you didn't worry much about that back then…" And they looked at each other realizing how time had passed by. She worried less a few years ago, when her father could still look after things. Life seemed much simpler than it did today. Adelia took her hand and held it tight smiling. And Aalexia smiled back taking that crooked smile inside her heart, warming up to it, comforted to have someone at her side to look after her.

"Don't worry." Adelia's encouragement came in her straight and to the point manner.

"There is so much to know in life and I don't hold all this knowledge. What would I do without you?"

"You have time to learn, like we all did. Life will dictate the steps to take and the rhythm to it all." She got up and picked up the spoon to mix the garlic in the stew. "And bringing babies into the world is a woman's thing. No one really teaches you what to do; but when the time comes you will know and you will be fine. Like the rest of us."

It rolled down slowly, following each indentation on her cheek, shaping a wet path on her skin before reaching her pointy chin and fall to her feet. Then another tear dropped down the other cheek and Aalexia knew in her heart that time had come and she felt at peace with not knowing… much. But she trusted she would be fine, only that this complicated things so much more. She looked down at her belly again. Dare I touch… She opened her palm widely, spreading the fingers to cup as much of it as possible and then slowly placed them on the sides of her bloated stomach. The skin was stretched, but delicate and warm. She turned more to the side so she could have a better view of her profile. It couldn't have been anything else. She barely ate so it couldn't have been the food. And she was throwing up so often there was probably nothing left inside her anyway. So where could the bump come from? The belly stood out quite prominently especially because of her skinny figure. If she had had some meat on her bones she would have probably looked like she had a bad stomach ache but like this, the only other thing bigger than the belly was her butt. She giggled. The tension dissipated when her eyes shifted again to her breasts. Unrecognizable… And she smiled. Her eyes wondered some more around her body, touching, pressing and feeling to see if it was all really there. Soon she was cold and she reluctantly put the dress on. The swollen tummy was again nicely tucked away under the folds of the black dress. She shut her eyes tight feeling a rebuff of her earlier happiness, only that now it felt different. A mixture of utter excitement to the realization of her pregnancy and the suspense and fear of having to tell Achilles about it. She thought her future couldn't become more uncertain than it already was; but it looked this little surprise Achilles had left her with, had other plans for her. Be as it may, there was no turning back.

A knock on the door and she turned around still caught up in the magic of the moment.

"My Lady…" Udores bent so he could pass under the low threshold. Aalexia looked at him and she wondered whether her face betrayed her joy. Udores took a careful look at her. "You look much better this morning My Lady!" She smiled and it was the purest, sweetest smile she'd given him since they left. "I am glad." He bowed to her and took the cloak inviting her outside. She was dying to tell him but she held her horses, still undecided whether it was a good idea telling him. Whether she was pregnant at all – she liked dreaming about it. She warned herself silently to stop doubting.

"I have prepared something special for you today. It's noon already so we cooked something. I hope you like it. And that your stomach suffers it this time!" And Udores smiled helping her up the stairs. She took his hand gently and stepped into the early afternoon breeze. So much blue; it made her heart startle remembering the last time she gazed on it and the feelings she tried on back then. She breathed the salty sea air in deeply and stepped lightly behind Udores who glimpsed at her hesitant to her unusual change of attitude that morning. She sat down on a crate looking out at the sea. She ran her fingers through the hair untangling it gently, enjoying the wind playing smoothly through the silky strands. She felt like singing but that would have been ridiculous; so she started humming. Sounds came out of her nostrils like a lullaby, sang late at night to a sleepy child.

Udores stopped behind her amazed holding the tray in his hands. Maybe it was the wind but he heard it clear enough; she was humming. She was happy and it soothed his heart to see her this way. He sat down on the floor and pushed the tray in front of her. Aalexia looked at it and gasped like a child, looking all elfish. She stared in his eyes for a moment giggling.

"I… I don't think fish is a good idea!"

"But it's fresh My Lady! The men caught it this morning." He looked worried and she already felt bad for ruining his good intentions.

"No, no I know it's fresh but…" I made a little discovery! She swallowed fast getting ready to tell him. She looked around at the men, but no one was interested in the two of them. She slid down from the crate and on the floor next to him pulling on the cloak, wrapping her bare feet in it. Udores was even more intrigued. She had become serious all of a sudden. She bent forward leaning against him trying to say something but the words didn't seem to come out of her mouth right.

"I… I think I am with child." And when she said it out loud the sound of it collapsed on her shoulders in a harsher reality than she imagined it before. Now she was sharing it with someone else other than her consciousness and it felt like she had just stepped on hot coal and waited for her skin to burn and hurt. Udores stared at her so barren of any expression. Never before has he been so plain about his feelings. His shoulders lowered, his eyes moved quickly left to right, letting the information drain into his system. Aalexia watched him and she realized how difficult it was going to be talking to Achilles about it, if with Udores she felt like throwing herself overboard already.

The Myrmidon pressed his hand to her cheek, caressing over and over again, so tender and so lovingly, yet with the same blank stare.

"Udores… say something. I need you to say something." She whispered, almost desperate for to hear him speak. But then she saw why he couldn't do it; his jaw was trembling and tears were glowing under the heavy black eyelids. She backed off at the sight. Those red eyes did not fit the harsh features of his face, the tanned skin and the grey hair. Yet the tears were there, making their way down into his beard. She felt the urge to hug him but that was out of the question with all the men around them. It was astonishing to see him cry; a hug was too much to ask for now. He fell back and wiped the tears off, taking his time in finding the right words. She heard him sigh.

"I knew I was doing a good thing taking you home but I never dreamt I would bring him back so much more… so much more love."

Aalexia's lips curled with mistrust, like she was unsure of his words.

"Why the face My Lady? He couldn't have been more blessed than this! Immortality will not look him in the eye like this child will! Immortality will not hold his hand when he draws his last breath! It's a miracle it happened! Never have I thought to witness this…"

"Because he never really wanted it… and maybe he won't want it now either!" And the truth was that she feared more for the future of her baby than for herself. How easily it is to change perspectives, how easily it is to become insignificant to a greater purpose, and their child was now more important than anything else; more important than him; more important than her. She did not want to make hasty decisions. She would fight for this child with everything she had; but she hoped she wouldn't have to. For now she just admitted to part of her thoughts.

"Yes it is a miracle…" she whispered more to herself, thinking how she got pregnant in one night when she had spent so many nights with Hector and nothing happened. The Fates must've tangled the threads to her destiny.

"Show him no fear. He preys on other people's fear and he does it only because they allow him to! So don't let him!" Udores was giving away his master's tricks convinced that it was the right thing to do.

"I love him Udores…" And tears came down her face, drying in the wind. He smiled childishly. "And he is right. Love makes you weak, but only in the eyes of that whom you love, because you can't fight them, you can only love them. So how am I to fight his convictions, how am I to judge whether it's right or wrong for him to seek immortality, if this is what he wants?"

"Things have changed and I fear for him." Udores shifted position and supported his weight against the crate peering into the horizon. "He left for war thinking about you. No focus, no purpose, no will." Aalexia startled understanding the meaning behind his words.

"He is the greatest warrior of our times! Don't think that way! Remember, he was born for this and he is the best at it!" Udores looked at her in silence.

"He is nothing but an empty shell now." He turned his eyes again towards the endless realm of Poseidon. He smiled and his voice cheered when he spoke next. "But this empty shell is about to shine with pearls again; rare and beautiful pearls no sea in this world will ever bare!" And he poked her humorously. Aalexia giggled to then laugh, pleased to see him relax.

"Take me to him Udores. Don't take me to Lyrnessus, I don't have the patience to wait for the war to end to tell him this!" Udores fretted.

"That place is no good for you. And it takes so much more to get there and the journey would ring out the little strength you still have left. You need rest, especially now and someone to take care of you. The last thing I want is you in a war camp with Menelaus hovering about the place! Achilles would kill me on sight!"

"Nonsense! I will tell him I asked you to!"

"So he can kill us both!" Aalexia laughed for good.

"Don't be silly Udores! Have you done nothing against his will, ever?" and from the looks of it he hadn't. Aalexia shook her head smiling. "It is now or never! I must do this before I succumb to fear and doubt… and I can't do it without you. If you believe he thinks of me, if you believe this will make a difference, then you must do this for me! We'll do it together!" Udores weighed her words, still unconvinced this was a good idea. It meant they had to sail for another three weeks down the coast before reaching Phlegra. He rubbed his coarse palms against his face, several times, trying to think if he had the courage to embark on such a mission.

"You know… I am a retired soldier now. I could just go back to my wife." Aalexia wished she felt bad for dragging him back into a war, but somehow she knew he was up for the challenge and he wouldn't have missed the moment for the world.

"I dare say, my friend, you need one last adventure." And they looked at each other intensively before Udores smiled defeated.

"Achilles does not stand a chance."

"I hope so. I have the best of weapons!" and she caressed her belly gently. Udores peaked but he couldn't tell much. She patted him on the shoulder. "Soon enough, Udores… soon enough!" He already felt the chills of the up coming events.

Achilles never thought of anything else in his whole life other than war. Women were but a tool for him, an instrument for pleasure; and the best advice he ever gave a child in the very rare occasions when he spent time next to one was to never fear death or he would never be like him; adored and feared by many. Yet, here he was, his faithful servant, delivering him everything he avoided most; everything he ran away from for years. In the back of his head Udores tried to pick the name of a God to send a prayer to; but no God in Olympus would have the power to protect him or his cargo from Achilles if she failed to make him see…