Hello all!

How are you doing on this lovely day? :)

Here is the next update for you :) I am not sure how I feel about this chapter, but here it is. I hope you enjoy.

**Just a heads up there will be one more chapter being uploaded Saturday the 6th and then that will be it for around three weeks as I will be heading off to Mexico! However, as this does end in a sort of a 'TBC' sort of way this arc will be finished! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

Warning: Strong Language.

Big Brother: What A Sick, Masochistic Lion.

Come Monday morning at around half past ten Kurt was still in bed. He'd turned his alarm off a half a dozen times already, he was too relaxed to even consider getting out of his bed. His bed was warm and comfy and it was just too good to resist. This was very late for Kurt and very unlike him, but he didn't care, there was no one here to judge him. Instead he pulled his duvet up closer to his face and buried himself underneath it, a huge smile on his face.

The past few days have been overwhelming and so very life changing, he reasoned he just needed this time to let it all sink in. He and Blaine were together. Finally together. After all of the longing and complications and mixed feelings, they were finally together. All it took was a break up and an accidental comment, and look were they are now. We're Together.

Kurt felt giddy, he couldn't stop laughing to himself as he thought through memories over the past few days. Like the tickle fight they'd had yesterday morning in the kitchen, or the sarcastic comment 'bitch-fight' they'd had over dinner last night while Carson shook his head at them. He and Blaine were the type of people who would've done that with or without a label, but with the 'together' label in place, it seemed so much better.

Other memories made him blush and a heat warm in his stomach. Yes they were KurtandBlaine, yes they were kissing and such now but they had sat down yesterday and put down boundaries for their relationship because they wanted to take this slow. Kissing was allowed, that was it. Kissing. Now of course he's glad he gets the kissing, but he's a teenage boy and when they do kiss, and kiss, and kiss, sometimes all he wants. All he needs is more.

Like yesterday for example. Carson had gone out to meet someone for something, he'd been very vague and now that Kurt thinks about it he should try and figure out where he actually disappeared to for nearly two hours. Anyway, they had the house to themselves and they somehow ended up making out on the couch. Hands and tongues were roaming, necks being explored and moans breaking through the silence of their heavy breathing, but it hadn't been enough. He'd wanted more, so much more.

He knew that he was rushing into things and that it was his hormones talking, but it was also his desire and his need to be closer to Blaine, to be as close to him as was humanly possible. Kurt had never felt this sheer want with Sebastian while they were kissing, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling with Blaine and it made everything a little bit more exciting. He wanted Blaine because Blaine was his soulmate.

Even though they'd agreed to take things slow he felt his hands drift lower from where he was positioned underneath Blaine, his fingers dangerously close to disappearing under the waistband of Blaine's jeans and he knew that Blaine would be confused with the gesture, even if it did seem to please him. A lot he thought with a smirk as he shuffled in bed. Kurt had just been about to voice his thoughts on the matter when Carson walked through the door. Just like that the mood was gone and Kurt wanted nothing but to not be in this situation at all.

In bed Kurt turned onto his side only to see Evita curled up in a ball on the pillow next to him. He laughed to himself at the memory of Carson's shriek and Blaine collapsing on his chest before falling off of the sofa in his panic. If it hadn't been so embarrassing, yesterday it would've been hilarious. However, now that the awkward situation was behind him he found himself laughing at the hilarity of it all. "Ah you should've seen Blaine's face Eve," Kurt said sleepily reaching out and stroking her soft fur, "he was absolutely adorable."

Kurt closed his eyes and snuggled deeper into his bed deciding that today he was going to be very lazy and just stay in bed, maybe put some music on later but for now. His bed needed him. He let out a yawn pulling his teddy tighter to his chest and smiled "and he's all mine Evita. He's all mine" and with that very happy thought it didn't take long before Kurt once again drifted off into unconscious.

Blaine was in his office, music blaring loudly as he tried his hardest to concentrate on the number of articles he had to write and edit. He hadn't had much sleep last night after spending most of the early hours of the morning with Kurt, which meant he was now on what must have been his fifth coffee of the morning and it was only a little after eleven.

Fifteen minutes later and he was still reading the same line over and over again, his thoughts everywhere but on the article on how technology is affecting modern day writers. It was an interesting article, but nothing was interesting compared to the thought of kissing Kurt on the couch back home. Damn it Blaine! He thought frustratingly pushing his keyboard tray in forcefully and falling back in his chair

He needed to concentrate on his work today, they were now a week behind in certain aspects of the magazine due to their absence and he really had work to do. That had been why he told himself as he entered his office this morning that he wasn't allowed to think about Kurt, talk to Kurt or anything. No Kurt, at all. Obviously it wasn't working for him.

With a frustrated sigh he pushed his chair closer to his desk before looking out of his glass wall and towards Carson's office, where the older man seemed to be concentrating very hard on something. He looked as if he was getting frustrated with whoever he was talking to on the phone. Blaine knew that Carson wasn't working on any articles at the moment and he couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, who was he talking to?

So with that thought in mind he opened up his emails and decided to send a little work-related message.

'Hey C, what are you concentrating so hard on? I don't think I've ever seen you so focused? And who's pissing you off on the phone? I don't think I've ever seen you look that aggravated except when you're dealing with Sebastian. Wait, is it Sebastian? Message me back ASAP man. B xx'

Sebastian! It wasn't much but the thought of Sebastian was enough to distract him from his previous thoughts about, just his previous thoughts, but not in a good way. Sebastian. Sebastian was in trouble yet they didn't know what kind yet. He wasn't returning any of their messages and would only contact Carson when he felt like it. They didn't know what was wrong, but Blaine had a suspicious feeling that he and Kurt were to blame, of course he didn't know how wrong he was.

He and Kurt had been in this weird parallel universe, that place where all new couples go where no one else exists apart from the two of them and as much as he loved it, it couldn't have come at the worst time. His best friend had just broken up with someone he loved, very much. (Let's ignore the fact it's Kurt for a moment,) his abusive Father had just died, and he hadn't been there. Instead he'd been wrapped in the warmth of his Kurt. Sebastian's ex-Kurt.

"God this is so fucked up" he murmured dropping his head into his hands. Yes they had been in a bubble, but now they were back from Ohio and back to work, the bubble had just popped in Blaine's eyes and now he had to face reality. He didn't know what he had to do to make this right, but whatever it was he'd have to do, he'd do it. Sebastian needed him and he needed Sebastian.

He knew it was a long shot considering Sebastian had been ignoring all of his other messages but it wouldn't hurt to send another one, maybe if he keeps on pestering him it might eventually return one, even if it is just a 'leave me alone' text. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he typed out his message.

'Hey Bas, how are you? I get that you keep ignoring my calls and messages and I'm not mad, I promise. Can you just let me let me know you're okay? Especially after your Father's funeral? Please Sebastian, anything? Love Blaine xxx'

Of course he didn't expect a reply so without really caring he looked his phone and tossed it on his desk, running his hands through his hair in frustration and annoyance. Blaine was pulled out of his thoughts when his mac dinged, informing him of a new email. Once again he pushed himself closer to his desk, not even realising he'd pushed himself away from it in the first place, and opened up his new email from Carson.

'Don't worry about it B, it's nothing important just looking at new printers. The phone? Umm, Sebastian? No it wasn't Sebastian? Why would I be talking to Sebastian. Sebastian never talks to me. Right B, I'm going to be out of the office for the afternoon. I've got some shit I need to sort out with some of the higher ups. You've got this right? I'll see you at home tonight. C xx

P.S Please don't use me to distract you from your thoughts about defiling my brother, I do not appreciate it, thanks. C. xx'

Once reading the message he looked up to see if he could catch Carson before he left but instead all he saw was Carson with his coat on throwing a quick wave his way before disappearing out the door. With a confused sigh he looked back to the email, the only thing that was true to Carson's nature was his 'P.S.' Everything else seemed, weird. Something was definitely going on and he knew for a fact that he wasn't meeting the higher ups because he'd been on the phone with Tom arranging a meeting for next week not even an hour ago.

Blaine looked to the door Carson had vanished through only moments ago and he couldn't seem to stop the hurt from washing through him. Why is Carson shutting me out? Suddenly he knew his concentration would be gone for the rest of the day, but it had nothing to do with Kurt.

Carson had his coat on and was ready to leave the moment he hit send. He knew the email sounded nothing like himself but there wasn't much he could do about that. He knew Blaine would understand something was up the moment he read it, hence the reason he ran out of the office like he had a rocket shoved up his ass. He couldn't tell Blaine, had been asked not too and as much as he hated keeping things from him, Sebastian needed him so he'd complied.

He was now walking down the road heading towards a cafe just off of Time's Square, apparently Sebastian couldn't wait until dinner that evening and was in such a state at work his boss had sent him home, this was why he exited the office at two o clock leaving everything to Blaine. Carson had no idea what was going on with the younger boy, who had literally just text him about a house he'd found in London. Carson replied with how long he'd take to get there and shoved his phone back in his pocket.

Sebastian needed him, needed Blaine, he even needed Kurt. He just wouldn't let any of them in. Sebastian had rung him once he'd returned home yesterday and started going on about how he needed a change, how he needed to get out of here and soon. Carson knew that something was wrong, Sebastian was having some sort of breakdown, and after the week he'd just had, he couldn't really blame him.

When you take a seemingly heartless person who falls in love with the first man since he was seventeen, who then breaks up with said boy even though he still loves him. For selfless reason so he can be with Sebastian's own very first love and the reason he is now considered 'heartless' these days after their breakup destroyed him. It's gonna mess with the poor guys head.

Then when you add his homophobic, abusive Father dying to the equation and the stunt he pulled at his own funeral, well of course it's going to fuck him up. It would fuck up anybody, and confuse anybody, he added when he could feel the start of a headache coming on.

But why was it different with Sebastian, why was he being so effected by it all? Carson thinks he knows the answer to that, he just needs to speak to Sebastian about it, maybe get him to open up to him like they did last week in his room. He believes that because Sebastian avoided feeling for so long, suddenly being hit with so much emotion was just too overwhelming and his mind and body just can't cope.

So, he was positive he was going to be dealing with an angry, all over the place Sebastian when he reached his destination. So as he passed a little bakery, he decided it wouldn't hurt if he picked up some cookies considering how much the younger boy loved them.

Fifteen minutes and a bagful of cookies later Carson was taking the seat opposite Sebastian carefully, while said boy was concentrating on something very hard on an iPad that Carson didn't know he had. However, raising his eyebrows he noticed the apple bag at his feet would make it appear he'd only just brought it. "Hey Seb," he said cautiously not wanting to frighten him or anything, "you alright?"

He watched carefully as Sebastian looked up from his iPad, his thick black framed glasses obscuring his eyes only slightly. He looked genuinely shocked to see him, as if he'd been so immersed in whatever he was looking at to see him enter and sit down. "Oh hey Carson!" The fact he said his full name and in such an enthusiastic tone was enough to tell him to tread lightly. "I didn't see you come in! Here," he said passing him the iPad, "look at this house. Isn't it gorgeous!?"

The next thing Carson knew the slim white iPad was in his hands while Sebastian started sipping at his coffee and practically demanding him to look through the pictures and read the information about this beautiful, three bedroomed house in the centre of London. "Yeah it's nice Seb-" he didn't get the chance to voice his concern when Sebastian was already speaking again.

"It's really nice," he said putting his cup down and pushing up his glasses, the gesture was adorable if he did say so himself. "It's a little house off of Bedford Square and it looks gorgeous! There are three bedrooms, two bathrooms a large garden, it's pretty pricy but it's nothing major. It's a five minute walk from central London and where I'll be working. It's perfect" he said smiling at him and he had to force a smile in return. "Absolutely perfect."

Okay, so clearly he had underestimated Sebastian's break down. He was obviously trying to redirect all of his emotions into searching for the perfect house. "I've found other houses too, just flip through the few other tabs" Sebastian said matter of factly from where he was most probably now looking at house on his phone. Few other tabs!? There are sixteen of them!

"Sebastian, there are sixteen tabs on here of different houses in London" he stated and Sebastian just shrugged in response as if he didn't understand what he was getting at. "Seb, eight days ago you weren't even thinking about the specifics of moving to London and now you're looking at buying a house." He stated hoping he would understand that something wasn't right. Instead Sebastian just looked at him with a typical 'yeah, and?' expression.

He knew he had to get Sebastian talking somehow. Not only did he need to try and help Sebastian sort through everything that was hurting him, he also needed to try and find time to discuss how he would tell Kurt and Blaine about his move out of the country. He needed to go about this carefully and responsibly, if he asked too hard a question too fast, Sebastian would shut down and he'd get nothing.

Then, without his knowledge he asked him one of the worst possible questions he could have started with. "Seb, what happened in Westerville?" he asked handing back the iPad after glancing through the other open tabs. Sebastian stilled instantly, his eyes focused intently on his phone. Fuck! "What I meant was, Seb this isn't like you" he said gesturing to the shopping bags at his feet and the iPad in his hands.

"The Sebastian Smythe I know doesn't go around shopping and buying a six hundred dollar iPad just for the sake of it. The Sebastian I know would definitely not get sent home from work for being 'too unstable to be in the work place.'" Okay, so obviously his 'take things slow' tactic was out the window. Obviously I'm just trying to tare him down he thought annoyingly not looking away from the taller boy who still wasn't looking at him.

He was going about this all wrong and he knew that, but he just wanted to help. "Seb, you know you can talk to me." Sebastian hadn't said anything yet and to be perfectly didn't expect him too. He never had been one for talking, and when he did it was after a lot of pushing or taking away something of his. Hmm, maybe the iPad he wondered, keeping that tucked away incase he had to resort to treating him like a kindergartener. He tried again, softer this time "what happened back in Ohio?"

So, eventually Kurt forced himself and Evita to get out of bed and at least put some clothes on. It was weird, it was the first time he'd ever had an issue standing in his closet picking out what to wear. Usually he'd chuck on a pair of his designer lounge pants and Finn's old football jersey.

But now? He was with Blaine now, yes they'd been living together for months and he'd seen him in worse outfits and situations, but shouldn't he make an effort now they were together? Standing in front of his closet staring at the hanger with his skinnies on and the drawer with his lounge pants in as he considered his choices.

With a shrug and a thought of Blaine hopefully accepting him regardless he reached for the drawer before pulling out a tight, plain white t shirt deciding it was a bit better then his old jersey and equally as comfortable. Within minutes he was dressed for comfort instead of attention, he cooed at Evita as he picked her up from his bed as they both made their way to the kitchen.

His first thought as he set Evita down on one of the chairs was how empty it was. He'd spent the last week in constant company and there had been moments he'd craved a bit of space. Now though, now that he was alone he had mixed feelings about it, suddenly the house seemed too empty and quiet.

With a shrug he flipped the switch for the kettle and reached for his cup deciding to forget about it. Blaine would be home soon and Carson would be out for the evening with Sebastian, they'd have the evening to themselves and it would be amazing. Sebastian, at the thought he sighed.

The two of them had been together only a week ago and they'd been almost inseperable. Constantly texting, talking, laughing and just being together. Now Sebastian wouldn't even return his calls, and trust me he's been trying. Every day he leaves missed calls and messages, and every day Sebastian never gets back in touch.

Of course he couldn't blame him, not after everything he'd put him through and then everything with his Father's death on top. Sebastian had every right to dodge his calls and not reply to his text messages, so he wasn't mad. Just hurt. He had no right to be hurt and he knew the hurt he was feeling was nothing in comparison to Sebastian's, but it still hurts.

With a sigh he picked up his coffee and slowly wondered into the living room reaching for the phone in his pocket. He went to take the armchair only to find Evita lazily scrawled across it, back legs in the air and tail flopping off the edge of the seat. She looked adorable and it was just enough to pull his thoughts away from his ex-boyfriend.

Kurt ended up settling in the love seat, carefully putting his cup down before paying strict attention to his phone. The time was the first thing that shocked him, how was it already three o clock!? Part of him felt guilty after wasting such a beautiful day but he was too relaxed and too refreshed to really care.

However, what did have Kurt worried was the seven missed calls he had from Rachel. He rang her back as fast as he could, tapping his foot impatiently and anxiously as he waited for her to pick up. It didn't take her long, just two rings but it was long enough for series of awful situations running through his head. "Rachel is everyth-" obviously she cut him off.

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel!" She scolded, "I force my Dad's, literally forced them! You don't even want to know what I had to do! To come home early just to see you, and I turn up on your doorstep only to hear that you disappeared in the early hours of the morning!?"

She sounded pissed and he couldn't blame her. If it had been reversed he would have been pretty pissed too, especially after forcing her Dad's to bring her home. He hated that he had to leave, he missed her terribly and had really had wanted to see her. "You better start explaining yourself!" She demanded and he just knew she had her hand on her hip.

Explain. It was a simple enough word and there should be a simple enough explanation, but there wasn't. The least he owed her was the truth, but he couldn't tell her. She deserves an explanation, even if it wasn't a real one he thought guiltily.

After his run in with the Neanderthals at the Roller Rink, after they'd threatened his life again, and this time in front of Blaine!? He just couldn't stay there. Not for another minute. New York was his safe, accepting haven. He'd almost forgotten about the threat, his life here being enough to help him move on but being back there and in that situation, it was just too much.

He just had to get out, but he couldn't tell her that. She'd freak out and panic before demanding he tell someone about it. So instead he sighed, hating that he was about to lie to his best friend. "Rach, I'm so sorry. There were issues at the magazine and Carson needed to get back." It was a lousy explanation but one that could've been true and he hoped she'd buy it.

There were a few moments of silence before she shrugged it of, "okay. You're forgiven, it would've been nice to see you though!" She spoke softly sounding upset and he hated that he was the reason, even if it wasn't his fault.

He sighed in relief, a sad smile gracing his features. He still felt guilty about lying, but he hated that he hadn't been able to see her. What can he say, he seriously missed his best friend. "I am really sorry though, I really wanted to see you" he said dropping his head into his hands.

"I hate that I didn't get the chance," Evita jumped up into his lap at his softly spoken words. She'd obviously picked up on his distress which caused him to smile as he stroked her soft gentle fur. "I miss you so much Rach," he said sadly wishing more then anything that they lived closer. That girl was practically his sister, he hated the distance between them and couldn't wait until she was in New York and they were attending NYADA together.

Rachel was rummaging around on the other line, the silence falling between them, a silence that was slightly unnerving. He didn't have time to ask before Rachel spoke softly, "Oh I miss you too Kurt." A heavy pause, "actually. Kurt I have to go," she said sounding distracted.

What? He was more than taken back by her abrupt end to their conversation. "You're hanging up on me!? Seriously? You leave me seven missed calls just to yell at me and then leave?" He asked more then confused. They'd just started talking, why was she leaving already? They needed to talk, he had questions and needed answers.

"I'm sorry babe," babe? "but I need to go and discuss something with my Dad's!" Her Dad's? Can't she do that later? "I promise it's a good thing" and then before he had the chance to say anything she called out a 'bye, love you' before the line went dead.

"Love you too" he said looking down to his phone in confusion. Why did she leave so suddenly? How come it had taken her two days to contact me about not being there on Saturday, and why the hell did she call me babe?! He shook his head and decided not to get too worried about her actions. Rachel was unstable, everyone knew that. He would just ring her back later and they could talk then.

He picked up his coffee while his hands absentmindedly ran through Evita's perfectly combed fur. He knew it was a long shot and he didn't expect any sort of reply from Sebastian but it wouldn't hurt if he tried and just as he'd expected: Call Rejected. The phone call may have gone unanswered but he wasn't going to give up, so he sent him a text instead. If he replied, he replied. If not? He could deal with that too.

After sending the message and considering his phone was already in his hand he thought it wouldn't hurt if he text Blaine, would it? "It wouldn't hurt if I text Blaine too, would it Evie? Hey?" he said scratching behind her ear, "no it wouldn't. No," he cooed with a huge smile before typing out his message, being a little more forward and a lot less reserved then their texting used to be.

'Hey B! How's work? It's lonely here without you :( the couch just isn't as comfortable ;) Anyway so as Carson has just informed me of his absence this evening I was thinking dinner? Just you and me? Maybe a movie, we can sit on the couch and you know, cuddle? ;) xxx'

Kurt felt a little shy at being so flirty in his text, especially to Blaine but he guessed it was just something he would have to get used to. If he and Blaine were together they would probably end up sending dozens of these messages. He pressed send with a grin before reaching with the remote, anxiously waiting for Blaine's reply.

"What happened back in Ohio?" Sebastian didn't know what to do. He knew he couldn't pull this off. The moment he had walked through his front door yesterday he collapsed, let go all of the tears he'd been holding onto for god knows how long and cried. The worst thing was, he didn't really know why he was crying. Was it his Father's death or his stunt with the letter? His mothers words and actions? Losing Kurt to Blaine? The realisation that Kurt had once tried to kill himself? He had so many reasons to cry yet finding a pile of mail on the floor was what set him off.

He felt stupid, Sebastian Smythe never cries because it implies weakness and he is anything but weak. He's dealt with too much in his life to even consider the idea that he could be considered weak. I am not weak, never have been and never will be. After that meltdown he'd ordered in some chinese and threw himself into planning his move to London. Considering he'd only been planning for a day he'd done a lot. He'd found a series of houses and apartments that he'd liked and had already spoken to the boss in the London branch about a start date and office.

Things would be looking up. That was if he wasn't doing all this as a way to distract himself from the emotions that he didn't want to face. For now he knew that planning his life would work, but once he had his house, agreed his start date and booked his flight. What then? He'd be left to deal with all of this emotion, he knew Carson was willing to listen, knew that Carson would do everything humanly possible to help him.

All he was asking was that Sebastian let him, and he wanted too. God did Sebastian want his help, the only thing stopping him was his pride. He knew Carson would never judge him, he knew that this man would protect him like he was his brother, yet he couldn't open up to him. He had never been good with emotions or feelings, not since that break up with Blaine.

Everything comes down to that pivotal moment in his life. That moment where everything changed. He lost his belief in love, he learnt that no one could be trusted. He told himself that if he let himself love, he would only end up hurt when they left. He didn't blame Blaine for how he turned out because of a choice he had made, it wasn't his fault that that was how he chose to deal with the situation. It just was. It is the way it is and I can't change, no matter how much I want to.

Carson was silently watching him as he sipped at his coffee, giving him time because he knew he needed it. He did need time, and plenty of it. But what he needed more was help. He couldn't deal with this on his own, he had so much to do in a such a short amount of time and if he wanted to do it all, he would need help. He had two options here; lie to Carson and let's face it he would be lying. Carson knows something is wrong, terribly wrong if that's a bag of cookies in his hands and he would know that he was lying.

Or. He let's his guard down. He never really has his guard up around him anyway. Mostly Blaine but he and Carson are closer then ever now, so telling him wouldn't hurt him. It could help him. He'd tried sorting this out himself and how did that end up? He bought himself a freaking iPad! Just do it Sebastian, you know he won't judge you, he never would. He looked to Carson and forced himself to take a deep, calming breath before dropping his head in shame. "I need help Carson" he spoke softly no matter how much his mind was trying to keep the words in.

He expected seventy questions from Carson. He expected him to force him to answer his previous question and he expected he'd be forced to give him a run down of everything that he was thinking about this very second. Of course, he shouldn't have expected any of that, not really. When he forced himself to look back up at Carson, he was smiling sweetly. "Cookies?" he asked with a smile, moving the bag of cookies towards him and he couldn't do anything but laugh.

Relief washed through him at such an innocent question and he felt himself relax immensely, "I'd love a cookie Carson" he said with a small, thankful smile as he took the bag from Carson's grasp. He slouched back in his seat and watched Carson watching him for a moment. "Thank you" he said and it was rare that he used those words, let alone meant them but he was glad to see that Carson understood and nodded in response.

"So, what exactly happened at work this morning?" Carson asked with a chuckle as he reached for his coffee, "because on the phone it sounded like someone was being murdered." He couldn't help his own chuckle as he thought back to Lea screaming as he knocked over the bin which then led to the bookcase in his office toppling over. It was an accident, well somewhat accident. He hadn't meant to push it over, just make it wobble.

Carson was smiling at him, obviously glad to get a chuckle out of him and Sebastian very much appreciated what he was trying to do for him. Obviously having him admit that he needed help was enough for now, and he was so glad it was. He wasn't sure how much he could say right now, sharing his feelings and emotions was new to him and that was only because of Kurt. Kurt.

He sighed and shook his head, now wasn't the time to think about Kurt, or anything. For now he was going to sit here and eat cookies while he talks to his friend about what happened at the office. They can get to all of that emotional stuff once he's eaten half of the bag of cookies, well maybe more like a third he corrected with a shrug. "It was a total accident I swear!" he says putting his hands up by his face in surrender. "It was not my fault" he says shaking his head and he can't help but smile.

When Carson leans across the table and slyly looks around to check no one is paying any attention to them he finds himself freezing, what is he doing? What does he want to say that he doesn't want anyone to hear? Then he's gesturing for him to come closer and he does without any conscious knowledge and then Carson's whispering.

"Did you really murder someone Seb? I mean I know where we can hide the body but this isn't good bro," he speaks quietly still checking no ones listening before slowly backing away and sitting back in his seat looking as serious as ever. Sebastian remains half leant across the table, he's sure his eyes are wide and his mouth is open because he's not quite sure how to take what he heard.

He really hopes he was being sarcastic or something even if he didn't sound like it, but Carson knowing where to hide a body, with all those crime shows he watches, it's definitely a possibility. "HA! You should see your face!" Carson says before laughing which made him laugh in response.

"Haha, very funny you asshole" he says pushing up his glasses before reaching for a drink. "I bet you do know the perfect place to hide a body as well" he murmurs more or so to himself but assumes Carson hears it when he stifles a giggle.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Carson challenges with a raised eyebrow and he can't help but smile and suddenly he is reminded of how lucky he is to have someone like Carson in his life, he even feels guilty about ignoring him the last few days.

Sebastian shook his head with a huge smile. He has no idea how Carson has managed it but somehow he's got him back to himself, and he will never admit to anyone how much he needed it. He knows it's only temporary because soon they'll have to talk about the important shit soon, but for now it's all he wants. "Ugh no," he says shaking his head and trying to hold back his smile. "I really don't think I do."

Soon they are both laughing and enjoying a simple cup of coffee and cookies as they discuss the rest of his week in Lima, the subject of KurtandBlaine going unspoken and he's glad, not sure if he could handle that conversation right now. They laugh and they giggle but slowly and surely the bags emptying out and Sebastian knows times running out, but it's okay.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and decided to wait until the caller had hung up before seeing who it was, he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone else right now. Eventually it stopped and he reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone, sighing at the name appearing on his screen: 'KurT.' The T being a capitol as it was the first letter of his prior identity, Taylor. "Who is it?" Carson asked from where he was sipping at his coffee.

Sebastian answered his question with a moments silence before letting out the breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Kurt" he said with a gentle nod staring at his contact picture. We were so happy, he didn't want to reply but he couldn't avoid him forever could he? I love him for fuck sake! Of course I can't! It took too much effort ignoring his messages and phone calls, it's so tiring.

He was just staring at the picture of the two of them in Central park when a message came through, once again it was Kurt. He opened the message with a sad sigh. Kurt really was trying to reach him and he just had to know what he wanted to say to him.

'Hey Sebastian, how are you? I heard from Carson that you're back in NYC and I was just wondering, how are you? I know you've been ignoring my attempts at contact but that's okay, I understand. Honestly I do, I just hope that soon we'll be able to talk. I know I have no right in saying this, especially after what I did to you, but I miss you Sebastian. Take care, Kurt xxx'

"You gonna reply?" Carson asked as if he didn't really care about the answer even though he knew differently. That was the question he kept asking himself. Ignoring all of Kurt's, even Blaine's, attempts at contact was getting tiring, he missed them. Kurt cared about him, missed him even. He wasn't even trying to hide it in his text's, Blaine either and his heart clenched in his chest. He misses me?

He didn't want to be the reason Kurt was hurting or missing anyone. If he wanted to change, move on from this he had to start somewhere. He had to stop running. Suddenly out of nowhere, he knew he had made his decision. Kurt's text had helped him make his decision. I won't run anymore. Now, he welcomed his conversation with Carson. Before you face your fears, you have to stop running from them.

The knowledge hit him so fast and so suddenly it was incredible, it literally knocking the breath out of him. He can't continue keeping these things to himself. I need to stop running. With that running through his head he decided he'd text Kurt back, he had too, he had to stop running.

'Kurt, sorry about ignoring your messages, I guess I was being a bit of bastard. I'm just texting you to let you know that I'm not great, but I'm doing okay. I'm not ready to talk about it right now, but maybe next week? Would you like to meet up for coffee or dinner or something? Just let me know. I um. Yeah you too Kurt. xxx'

With the message sent and the new knowledge running through his head about his need to stop running, he knew he needed to talk this out. If he was willing to meet Kurt next week then he needed to have his act together by then or things could get worse. First he needed to talk things out with Carson, then at some point he would have to talk to Blaine.

He didn't realise Carson was even speaking until he started talking over him. "There are so many things I need to tell you Carson, I can't do this by myself anymore" he spoke with an edge of panic as he runs a hand through his already messy hair and hates that he thinks about what Kurt would say if he were here.

He doesn't know what kind of emotion is showing in his eyes but it's enough for Carson to loose his glare at being interupted. Instead he sits back in his chair with a soft smile and gives him a 'go on' gesture with his hand. "I'm listening" he says softly and Sebastian knows that he really is. With the conversation started he reaches into the bag for another cookie and mentally prepares himself to lay everything on the line.

Blaine had been in a meeting for the past hour, looking at his watch he hoped it was close to five o clock which would mean home time, but nope, half past three. He was walking back to his office when one of the new secretary's, Martha popped up out of nowhere making him jump, "hey Mr Anderson" she said with a bright smile.

I fucking hate it when people call me that! he thought angrily before adding, well anyone who isn't Kurt. Blaine really wasn't in the mood for this, all he wanted to do was get back to his office, find his phone and text Carson a bunch of abuse, but no. Instead he had to stand here and play nice. "Hey Martha, is everything alright?" he asked, his voice taking on that authoritative tone whenever he was in charge.

"Sorry to bother you Mr Anderson, but a guy stopped by the office last week and asked me to give you this" she said with a smile holding out a thick, white envelope. "I was meant to give it to you earlier but this is the first time I've seen you" she said with an apologetic shrug.

He stared at it questioningly, "a guy stopped by last week?" he asked slowly reaching out to take the letter out of her hand, "and left me a letter?" He raised his eyebrows in confusion, why didn't they just text him or ring him? Why would they need to come to his place of work.

Martha nodded, her light brown curls bouncing on either side of her face. "Yes, he was very handsome if I do say so myself, even if he did look a bit of mess." Her smile faltered as she dropped her gaze, "poor soul looked heartbroken." Heartbroken? Handsome? He was confused, who the hell?

Looking down at the white envelope, he turned it over between his fingers so he could see the hand writing on the front. At the sight of the neat, cursive script his heart leaped into his throat. Toby!? Written in blue pen were three simple words, 'I need you.'

Blaine was pretty sure the all of the colour had drained from his cheeks, his breath catching in his throat as he stared down in horror and disbelief at the letter in his hands. "Is everything okay Mr Anderson?" Martha asked concerned, "should I have not accepted it?" Her tone was panicked, under any other circumstances he would've laughed "I'm sorry I should've never-"

"It's okay Martha" he said interrupting her and putting a stop to her frantic whining. He looked up to her with a forced smile, "It's okay, I'll go and take care of this, thank you" he said turning away from her and walking straight to his office. This could not be happening, just as Kurt and I get somewhere Toby has to come back into my life?

After shutting the door behind him he collapsed into his seat with a sigh of frustration. Toby will only be a problem if I let him, he thought harshly as he chucked the letter in the trash can by his desk deciding he wasn't going to read it. It doesn't matter what it says. They were over, he was never going back to Toby, he was with Kurt now and nothing would change that. Nothing he thought adamantly.

But as he reached for his phone he couldn't help but wonder what was in it? What did Toby mean when he'd written 'I need you.' Need me for what? Please tell me this isn't some lame attempt at winning me back, please? Did it mean he needed him back or did he need him as a friend?

With a forceful roll of his eyes he dropped his phone and pulled the envelope out of the trash, ripping it open with little care as he read through his letter/ Nothing really stuck with him, the words meaning nothing to him now, the 'I love you's' and 'please come back to me' meant nothing. They never will again. However the mobile number scribbled on the last line followed by the words 'please call me' and the constant use of the sentence 'I need you.' He'd be lying if he said he wasn't concerned.

Blaine didn't want to talk to Toby, didn't even want to see him after everything that had happened between the two of them. But from the state of his letter it sounded like he was in a very bad place and it couldn't help but worry that it might've had something to do with their break up. They'd been friend's once and he was willing to do it again, but won't it be too hard on him, if he still loves me?

Dropping the letter into the drawer and slamming it shut he reached for his phone deciding that Toby could wait, he could be dealt with tomorrow. He took a deep breath trying to push thoughts of a terrible looking Toby out of his head as he focused on his original task; sending Carson an abusive text message.

Unlocking his phone he couldn't help but smile when he saw a message from Kurt, and just like that Toby was forgotten and his anger towards his best friend vanished. A cocky smile and a wanting glint in his eye replacing whatever tired looking expression was once there as he read the younger boys message.

Biting at his tongue and looking out the window he had to say he liked this flirty side to Kurt that he'd never seen before, he could get used to receiving messages like this. With his tongue in his cheek he replied being just as flirtatious even if he knew that wasn't the kind of evening they'd be having at all. A little fun never hurt anyone, right?

"Aww miss you too baby. Well, why don't you cuddle up with a blanket for now and then I'll replace it when I get home? ;) Yeah he mentioned something to me before he disappeared leaving the meetings to me, bastard. Anyway, dinner sounds great. The 'cuddling' sounds much better though ;) Need me to pick anything up on my way home? xxx'

With a smile on his face, he tried to go back to not thinking about Kurt as he placed his phone face down on his desk. Considering today he was supposed to be focused and concentrate on his work, he'd never had so many distractions.

"Right," Carson said from where he was now sat in Sebastian's kitchen. They'd spent hours in the coffee house and had decided to skip dinner for a more casual evening in. Once Sebastian had started talking about his feelings, he hadn't stopped. "Sebastian it's okay to be upset about loosing your Father, even if he wasn't a good one." He said for what must've been the tenth time.

Sebastian nodded as he flipped over their steaks before moving to chuck their chips on. "He was never a Father to me, not really so I shouldn't be upset about losing him. That man was an asshole and me being upset about that bastard dying makes me weak Carson, and I am not weak."

With a frustrated sign Carson fell back in his stool and felt like he'd literally ran into a brick wall, why isn't he listening!? "Seb, come on man" he said exasperated. "That man is half of the reason you're stood here right now! He was a bastard, I won't deny that but you two had moments before that happened. That day on the lake being an important." He watched as Sebastian turned towards him, lowering his head as he lent back on the counters.

"Sebastian crying over the loss of your Father doesn't make you weak. It makes you human" he said with a small, if not strained smile. Inside he was praying that finally Sebastian would listen to him, they'd been doing this for hours now. It was only the smallest of movements but he could've sworn he saw the younger man nod. "Sebastian?" he asked hopefully trying to keep the smile off of his face.

Sebastian sighed before looking up at him, he looked a little annoyed yet relieved. "Okay, you're right" he said without managing to stop himself from laughing slightly. YES! Carson couldn't stop the huge grin crossing his features, he tried to remain calm on the outside but on the inside, he was fist pumping the air and screaming with joy.

"You're right. My Father and I did used to be close, I guess him dying just brought back the Dad I once had instead of the Father that died" he spoke sadly and Carson felt sorry for him, but his happiness at Sebastian admitting it didn't make him weak meant he couldn't stop smiling. "But," then Sebastian's posture changed and he knew that he had only sorted out one situation. "Feeling happy for Kurt and Blaine, even though I still love Kurt makes me some masochistic freak."

Carson knew this was a serious matter but he couldn't help make the comment, "you know Seb, every time you say 'masochistic' I always, always think of Twilight" he laughed at himself as he dropped his hand to the breakfast bar picturing the scene in his head. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb" he murmured, shaking his head.

"What a stupid lamb" Sebastian said in response and he was surprised that Sebastian even knew what he was talking about, let alone being able to quote it. He would never have pictured Sebastian watching Twilight like, ever. Sebastian was smiling at him expectantly.

Carson shook his head and couldn't help but smile, "what a sick masochistic lion." Two grown men where sat here, quoting the teenage chick flick that had been so big when it first came out all those years ago, what the hell is wrong with us he thought wit a laugh ducking his gaze.

Suddenly the light atmosphere changed as Sebastian's attitude changed. "Exactly!" he said gesturing his hands aggressively in front of him. "Sick, masochistic lion! That's what I am," he said walking towards him and resting his palms on the breakfast bar. "That's me" he said letting out a breath, "fuck sake!"

Carson smiled softly at his friends total over reaction, "are you saying your Edward Cullen?" he asked playfully, "because even you can't fill those handsome shoes." He hoped it would lighten the mood again and replace that frown with a smile, which to his great relief it did.

"No, I am not saying I'm Edward Cullen" he said standing up straighter. "Yes I could rival him in the looks department but when it comes to the blood on his hands, nope, nowhere near close" he said with a smile, the confidence returning to his stance and showing through his eyes.

"And you don't sparkle" he said feeling the need to point that out as he picked up his coffee cup, a huge grin on his face.

Sebastian laughed and shook his head, "no, I don't sparkle." There was a pause where Sebastian couldn't stop himself from smiling and Carson was glad that their conversation was a mix of serious and stupid. All things considered he'd thought it'd be easier for Sebastian this way, "Carson, what are you doing?" he said smiling at him with confusion.

"You know exactly what I'm doing" he said with a cheeky grin as he moved towards the kettle, picking up Sebastian's empty cup on his way. When he passed Sebastian he received a gentle shove before the younger boy returned his attention to the steaks. There was comfortable silence between them until Carson had made their hot drinks and returned to his seat.

They were almost at the point where Sebastian could admit, face and over come this issue with Kurt and Blaine, he couldn't stop now. "Just because you're happy for them, yes it makes you a little masochistic" he said because at the end of the day, it did. "It doesn't mean you're a freak, far from it in fact Seb. It makes you, shock horror" he said with a laugh, "a decent human being."

Sebastian's shoulders sagged and he knew he was about to protest, "Sebastian I have so much respect for the way you're handling this" he said taking another approach. He watched his friend freeze momentarily at his comment and smiled softly, he probably never had heard anyone admit they respected him before. "I have no idea how you can do that, help them be together when you feel that way about Kurt. You're so strong Seb, stronger then I am."

Even though Sebastian was pretending not to listen, he knew he was and he knew he was hanging on to his every word. "If I'm being perfectly honest with you man, I don't think I could do what you're doing. Being so selfless like that. I mean I'm not a selfish person but what you're doing is above and beyond and man, I never thought I'd say this but," he let out a breath realising he wasn't just saying this like he'd originally planned, he meant what he was saying. "You're a better man then I am Sebastian" he said smiling down at his coffee cup.

Sebastian Smythe is a better human being then I am, he thought confusingly to himself, who would've ever thought that. "Carson I'm not a better person then you are. I just want my two best friends to be happy" he shrugged. "I don't care how much it hurts me, they deserve to be happy and if that means being together, who the fuck am I to stop them!?" You wouldn't stop them, that's the point. I think I would he thought hating himself for it even crossing his mind.

Wow, Carson had never considered himself a selfish person in his life. He'd nearly always, apart from maybe the situation with Kurt, he'd always put everyone else first but when it comes to love, he's always thought of himself. Seriously though, If I was in Sebastian's situation right now, would I stop them? Just because it hurt me too much to see them together, would I seriously stop them from being happy because I'm in pain?

The thought would haunt him for the rest of the week, but for now he had to concentrate on what Sebastian was saying, after all that was why he was here. "That's why it doesn't make you a freak Sebastian" he said sounding tired, from his realisation or Sebastian's instant dismissal he didn't know. "Putting them first and being happy for them is what makes you a decent person" he spoke more bluntly then he intended but maybe it would hit him harder.

Silence. Sebastian didn't respond instantly but instead of insisting Carson sat there sipping at his painfully hot coffee giving the boy time to let his words sink in. The silence lasted longer then all of their other breaks in conversation but it wasn't uncomfortable. Carson eventually set the table when Sebastian had informed him dinner was almost ready.

Eventually, once they were both seated at the table Sebastian finally spoke up with the smallest hint of a smile, "it makes me a decent human being?" He asked ever so softly and the look on his face once again reminded Carson of that seventeen year old boy. It wasn't a statement, but it was more then he'd expected to get so soon.

"It makes you a decent human being" he agreed with his own soft smile on return. However, for the first time today his smile was slightly forced, why couldn't I be a human being?

Sebastian's smile turned into a full on grin as he picked up his cutlery and started cutting his steak, "it makes me a decent human being" he said nodding to himself. No matter what Carson was feeling about himself, or anything, he couldn't help but feel proud of the young man sat across from him. He also felt relief that Sebastian would now stop beating himself up, and if he was lucky he'd start talking to the two boys again.

As Carson started eating his own a dinner with a triumphant smile on his face he heard Sebastian murmur, "it makes me a decent human being" with conviction. This time he full out grinned and it was all genuine. A decent human being indeed he thought fondly as he took a bite out of his steak.

Blaine left the office at half past five in a bit of a frenzy. Carson had stuck to his word and had avoided the office for the rest of the afternoon. He'd ignored all of Carson's texts and phone calls and paid no attention to the three voicemails he'd left. The only thing he'd heard from him was that he would be out late and not to wait up.

He shut the door behind him, almost hitting a poor woman in the face in his current state of mind. Leaving Toby's letter behind along with his frustration at the job and Carson. Tonight was going to be good, it was just for Kurt and him. Nothing else.

As much as he wished they could spend the evening wrapped around each other and learning all about Kurt, but there were other things they needed to discuss first. Tonight he would be able to start up a discussion they both so desperately needed to have about that evening. On his way home he popped into the local shop to pick up some ice cream that Kurt had requested and a tin of expensive coffee, well I can't buy wine can I? He thought with a smile as he walked up the road to his building.

He wasn't sure how this evening was going to go but he knew for one thing that tonight would mean a serious conversation and hopefully plenty of answers. He was too impatient to wait for the elevator. His only thought now was how he could make this evening easier on the young boy he couldn't wait to wrap his arms around.

Taking the steps two at a time in his haste, a huge smile on his face. He ended up walking straight into their locked front door which took him totally by surprise, why hadn't Kurt unlocked the doors? They'd been texting up until an hour ago so he knew he was okay, nothing could've happened between then and now, right?

Digging for his keys in his pocket left him time to think through a bunch of terrible scenarios where Kurt was lying on his back or passed out on the sofa or, something stupid like that. However, when he had finally found his keys and shut the door behind him Kurt could be heard singing 'Teenage Dream' in the kitchen and he couldn't help but smile, letting all of his previous worries simply disappear.

"Kurt?"he said with a smile loving how domestic this all was. Kurt responded with 'I'm in the kitchen Sweetie' and with a happy sigh Blaine dropped his suitcase, hung up his coat and wondered into the kitchen. Not even thinking twice before standing behind Kurt, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on the younger boys shoulder. "Good day?" he felt giddy thinking that this could be what the rest of his life would be life.

"You actually own the complete Twilight Saga?" Carson asked in disbelief from where he was now sat on Sebastian's sofa, cuddled up under the other mans duvet. "I can't believe you're actually making me watch this" he said under his breath even though he couldn't wait for the movie to start. Yes they'd been quoting it earlier and yes he'd seen them all, more then once, but he didn't own then! I just borrow Blaine's his mind added on but of course he wasn't going to tell Sebastian that.

Sebastian walked back in from the other room carrying the complete box set, "of course I do" he replied as if it was an offence accusing him have not owning them. Looking at his friend now he realised he might of thought he knew Sebastian, but he was starting to figure out that he didn't know Sebastian at all, not really. But what he was finding out about this mysterious boy only made him love him more.

He watched as Sebastian inserted the first disk into the DVD player before jumping on the sofa and opening the bag of popcorn he'd brought in with him from the kitchen. "I can't believe you actually bought the entire box set" he said shaking his head as he took a handful of popcorn before his friend could devour the entire bag.

"Oh shut up" Sebastian said to him, but not harshly as he laughed. "I know you don't own the DVD's" Sebastian said with a roll of his eyes pressing the play button. "But Blaine does" he added on with a smirk in his direction, "and he has told me on more then one occasion that they've end up in your room." Sebastian was smug as he threw a piece of popcorn in his mouth, smirking at him like he'd just won.

Carson narrowed his eyes at the younger boy before crossing his arms and looking away, "they must walk there then" he said with a hmph. His eyes instantly locked on the screen as the movie started. Kristen Stewart may not be the greatest actress, but she can play Bella to a T. Of course he didn't know this, not really because of course he hadn't read the books. Obviously.

Sebastian 'Tsked' from where he was now sat flush against his side and sharing out the duvet between them. "I'm sure DVD's can't just walk from room to room as they please" he said with a shake of his head. "Come on Carson, you know only toys can do that." He said it so seriously Carson had to look at him to see if he was being serious.

Luckily Sebastian was smiling at him, loving the fact he'd made him believe he was serious. "Come on Carson, you quoted the books! Why won't you just admit that you like these movies!?" Because they are woman's movies he thought annoyingly even though he knew it wasn't true, Sebastian owning them was proof of that.

"It's a guilty pleasure C, just own it" he said pushing him playfully in the arm. It was annoying, not only because Sebastian was pushing but because he was talking and he couldn't hear the movie. Bella's voice over was his favourite part! It must've shown because then Sebastian just kept talking.

"The story, as stupid as it is compared to HP, is brilliant. The forbidden romance, the self torture. Plus Edward Cullen is fucking hot, you're blind if you don't think so." Sebastian knew exactly why this was winding him up, that smirk only proved it. "Oh and Jacob Black as of New Moon, fucking kill me now, I mean seriously. Have you see his abs-"

He'd had enough, "stop!" he yelled but he couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Sebastian I get. I like the Twilight movies, okay!? You win! And Bella's voice over is one of the best parts of this movie so will you please rewind, eat your popcorn and shut the hell up" his breathing was a little heavy as he came to the end of his rant, glaring at his idiot of a friend with a smile he couldn't withhold.

"See" Sebastian said sounding all patronising as he patted the top of his head, "that wasn't so hard was it." With that smug smile in place he rewound the movie and snuggled up against his right side, Sebastian's head resting against his shoulder.

"I hate you" he murmured rolling his eyes as he reached for the popcorn that was settled between them.

"Love you too" Sebastian murmured ever so quietly. Carson couldn't help but smile, the two of them then settled down to watch the movie they both secretly loved in silence.

They must have been half way through the movie, Carson's hand on Sebastian's back as he lay with his head in his lap. In all honesty he didn't take Sebastian for the 'closeness' type, but maybe after today it was all he needed. He was engrossed in the movie when he heard Sebastian mutter something into his leg, "sorry?" he asked when he couldn't decipher his words.

"Thank you" he said softly, "for today I mean. For listening to me and helping me stop being so, negative about myself." Sebastian sighed against his leg and he couldn't help but smile at the change in him from only hours ago. "I don't really talk about my feelings, ever and you've really helped, so thanks."

Carson smiled and nodded at himself, proud of all they had managed to accomplish. "No worries Seb, you know you never have to thank me anyway." Sebastian nodded into his leg and he was pretty sure that was it for conversation as he turned his attention back to the vampires on screen.

"You won't tell anyone I've gone soft will you?" Sebastian asked in a whisper moments later and he couldn't help but laugh at the boy. Always so worried of people seeing the real him, it was such a shame because he likes this Sebastian more then the cocky one.

He nodded his head as he ruffled Sebastian's hair, "your secrets safe with me, I promise." The pair of them had smiles on their faces as they returned their full attention to the TV. James had just caught Bella's human scent, now it's time for the chase he thought with a grin reaching for some popcorn.

Meanwhile, back at the Hummel/Anderson house hold another dinner was about to go underway. One not very much different to Sebastian and Carson's except darker memories, harder truths and more feelings.

To Be Continued..

Next update will be the dinner between Kurt and Blaine, so you Klainer's should be excited! But don't get too excited.. It's not a happy chapter but I hope you will all read anyway! It works out well and will have a lovely end!

Hope you enjoyed this, odd little chapter!

Read & Review

Until next update,

Love Kaylee xx